Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] Juvenile delinquency. Cause/Solution? [NEW]

IN SOME COUNTRIES, A HIGH PROPORTION OF CRIMINAL ACTS ARE COMMITTED BY TEENAGERS.

WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED? WHAT CAN BE DONE TO DEAL WITH THIS?

In this day and age, more and more young individuals resort to crime, and this has been a major concern in numerous countries. This essay will discuss why unequal distribution is a significant driver of criminal activities and give a potential solution to combat crime effectively.

Unequal distribution of resources and opportunities is a common precursor to criminal acts. In light of the fact that several young people have to face poverty and limited access to education and employment, it can drive young individuals to resort to criminal activities in their pursuit of financial stability or quick gains. Take numerous disadvantaged areas as a case in point, young people living there must cope with not only famine, detrimental health problems, and pandemics day by day but also low access to quality education. Consequently, the crime rate there is usually higher than in other regions.

To break the cycle of youth crime, extending access to quality education, particularly in disadvantaged areas, is the most effective solution. It is national and local authorities' responsibility to strengthen education establishments and provide after-school programs, they need to offer scholarships that could enable students to acquire indispensable skills and seize brighter opportunities. The education system in Singapore, for instance, is one of the highest quality of education. Nevertheless, they provide a wide range of scholarships and encourage children to go to school as well, so that policy plays a significant role in curbing crime rates.

In conclusion, unequal distribution is the culprit of juvenile delinquency, and governments should allocate resources to foster access to quality education for adolescents to deter them from turning to young offenders. Only by doing so can we maintain sustainable and dynamic development.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] Begin learning a foreign language [NEW]

SOME EXPERTS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER FOR CHILDREN TO BEGIN LEARNING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE AT PRIMARY SCHOOL RATHER THAN SECONDARY SCHOOL. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

In this day and age, a growing number of people believe that children should start learning a non-native language at primary school instead of secondary one. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the drawbacks overweight any potential merits, in light of the mental strength and the fascination of pupils.

First, pupils might do not have enough ability to learn a new language effectively. Owing to their cognitive and logical thinking have not developed as well as the adult, they could be overwhelming or even stressed when trying to acquire a new language. Take numerous primary schools in rural areas into consideration, the headmasters forced their students to learn English with a heavy workload but only based on theory, consequently many pupils covered a lot of ground in English, so that they did not have capability to have a good performance on other subjects and confused with their mother tongue as well.

Furthermore, they must have affinity for a particular language if they desire to master it. Nevertheless, pupils do not possess an abundance knowledge about the essential of a new language, especially at primary school, so it seems impossible for them to stay focused throughout lectures. The laziness, for instance, which is the norm among pupils at primary schools, may occurs when they feel exhausted during a lesson. As a result, they would not concentrate and simply give up.

In conclusion, it is not recommended for students to commence with a foreign language too early, particularly at primary school due to variety demerits they would suffer. Pupils should priority in becoming a bilingual or being fluent in another language until they come to secondary school or higher.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE - obligation for students to make a better society [2]

UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE SHOULD BE A COMPULSORY PART OF HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAMME.

AGREE/DISAGREE?

In this day and age, a growing number of individuals believe that unpaid community service ought to be a mandatory sector of institution curricular. From my perspective, I strongly agree with that opinion. This essay will first discuss how scholar are able to contribute to the development of the society, and secondly, addressing the fact that they have capability of acquiring a number of essential accomplishment for their future.

Firstly, becoming a volunteer might help undergraduates enhance numerous aspects of an area where they work, such as facility. This is owing to the governments do not ought to pay a considerable cost to repair the infrastructure for their residents if they help, that support may lead to a slight amount of money being saved. The quantity of aged football fields in remote area located in the central part of Vietnam is a great evidence, the villagers could have spent an exorbitant fee to a professional team to mend those football fields, on the contrary a charity group from a prestigious institution program joined in without any payment.

Furthermore, a number of soft dexterity which is seldom taught at high schools, consequently take part in an unpaid community service is a suitable way to obtain them. In light of the requirements of various specific work, undergraduate not only broaden their mind, they also have the ability to acknowledge and sharpen their expertise. Take teaching sports for kids as an example, the students have to use communication artistry, time-management dexterity effectively and public speaking ingenuity for a plethora of mischievous kids as well.

In conclusion, it is recommended for institution curricular to consider unpaid community service as an obligation sector for their students to make a better society and give them indispensable prowess for their career after school. Only by doing consequently can maintain a dynamic and balance development.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 1] UNEMPLOYMENT RATE AND PEOPLE LEAVING IRELAND FROM 1988 TO 2008 [3]

The given line chart illustrates the unemployment percent and individuals who leave Ireland during the period 1988-2008.

In an overview, it is worth noting that Ireland experienced the most significant quantities of both unoccupied rate and people leaving Ireland in 1988. Furthermore, both data witnessed a general adverse tendency of growth.

At the commencement of the survey, the figure for jobless people and individuals exiting Ireland was the highest in the 20-year period. The former was approximately 15% while it was about 60000 for the latter.

Nevertheless, both data went through a downward trend after that. By 2000, the percentage for idle individuals had decreased dramatically to almost 5%, which is the lowest figure during the survey. The number of people emigrating Ireland underwent the same situation in 2002, when it fell significantly to nearly 25000. However, the proportion of jobless people rose inconsiderable to 6% at the finish of the period, the quantity of people quitting Ireland increased considerable to 50000 as well.

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Writing Feedback / [IELTS WRITING TASK 2] More and more students at university today are not chosing to study science [5]

MORE AND MORE STUDENTS AT UNIVERSITY TODAY ARE NOT CHOOSING TO STUDY SCIENCE.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF THIS?

Nowadays, there are an increasing number of undergraduates who do not enjoy studying science-related courses. This essay will first explore why some science courses might become irrelevant to students, and then it will discuss how this might impede the advancement of contemporary technology.

One of the most pertinent explanations for this circumstance is the possibility that some students' future employment may not require science. It implies that they would not pay attention when studying science, which demands a high level of memorizing and logical thinking ability; as a result, their decision is to withdraw from these science courses. A great illustration of this is how more and more college students are choosing to major in subjects other than science, such as art or music, in order to develop a wide range of specific skills that may be applicable to their line of work.

Numerous negative outcomes could result from this problem, but the most significant one is that it may decrease the quality of many businesses' products. This is because modern business owners' top priority is to create cutting-edge machines and make a profit from them. If that occurs, employees' general knowledge cannot keep up with formal evolution. As an example, many low-quality modern devices produced by some unreputable companies are harming their customers.

In conclusion, even though their future careers will not involve technology, undergraduates should acquire a wealth of scientific knowledge. Only by acting accordingly can a dynamic development future be maintained.

Writing Feedback / In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books [2]

popularity of e-books and declining numbers of printed books reading

Nowadays an increasing number of readers are having more affinity with e-books than the paper one. This essay will first discuss the drawback of this trend, particularly the bad effect to the eyes that might not overshadow its benefit which is mainly related to mobility and environmental protection that e-books can bring about.

On the one hand, spending a massive quantity of time on electronic screens has the ability to become a root cause of some serious eye problems. This is because the specific light from e-books may harm the readers' eyes when they overuse it, and it could result in the sleep quality as well. A good example is that more and more children have been suffering from various genres of eye issues and a decline in sleep time due to the lack of time-management skill while reading e-books.

However, the readers can bring e-books anywhere and also protect the environment. On account of the small size of e-books that people are able to take or store it conveniently, moreover, they can download numerous books or documents from many sources to read without cutting down the trees to make paper like normal books. For instance, some governments in Asia encourage their residents to use e-books due to the climate change resulting from deforestation to manufacture paper for big companies.

In conclusion, reading e-books has more benefits such as the high flexibility and being environmentally-friendly than its downside including eye-harming. Only by using e-books can one maintain a dynamic and sustainable development for the environment.