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Posts by thaitam
Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Last Post: Dec 1, 2010
Threads: 9
Posts: 14  

From: Brazil

Displayed posts: 23
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thaitam   
Dec 1, 2010
Writing Feedback / Classify TV programs - classification essay type [2]

hi guys! classification is a new type of essay i first deal with. hope u can help me fix it. thanks in advance!

Invented in 1970, TV now is still the most popular tool to transmit information worldwide. Yet, the reason TV always attracts viewers after such a long time since then is due to its diverse programs. Therefore, TV programs can be classified into 3 categories according to its contents, and three categories can account for positive aspects of TV.

Entertainment is the most favorite for many people. Initially, music channels rather attract people of all ages because music always sends listeners to another world in which they can find truly peaceful moments in life . Another kind of entertainment program is movie. Today, people can enjoy watching all day with so many kind of films such as action films, cartoon, ghost films, romantic films, etc. Obviously, we no need going somewhere else to seek relaxation, but are able to stay at home and enjoy their free time. Generally, entertainment programs always dominates the others because simply they all help viewers relax after a hard day working.

Not as exciting as entertainment, but news always makes up largely viewers on earth. In fact, news provides people with lots of latest information; for instance, politics, economics, society, culture,... which all impact on human's lives. On the other hand, news allows people to catch up with changes of the world or prices on market so that people probably response. Beside, weather broadcasting is an important program providing lattest information about weather condition for which enable people to evoid possible danger. Though news is indispesible for our lives, it contains limited viewers because not all people like watching news, particularly children.

Advertising is a major part when we talk about TV. Obviously, we are all interrupted by various advertisements when we are watching. Today, advertising programs appear greatly on all channels, and they bright producers a huge number of profits. Therefore, we have no way to evoid advertisements but to watch them.

In conclusion, the contents of TV programs above play an important role in our lives. Yet, these programs should help if we know to choose proper contents that develop our thinking.

hope to see your feedback soon! thanks
thaitam   
Nov 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "My family supports my academics" Prompt #1 [3]

I would be exhausted but I would have to do homework. I couldn't afford falling behind in school...
i dont really make sense ur idea, its quite verbous but not clear
Is it an essay?
thaitam   
Oct 14, 2010
Writing Feedback / Students should go to the army course with 12 months after their graduation? [3]

Politics is always a number one matter in a country. To prepare for war posibility in advance, going to the army course is compulsive in some countries. In Korea, for example, when men get 20 years old, they must serve this duty, otherwise they will get many disadvantages in social life. Therefore, suppose that our government forces students enter the military course within 12 months after graduation, I'm totally in agreement.

I rewrite the introduction! hope to your feedback again!
thaitam   
Oct 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / Students should go to the army course with 12 months after their graduation? [3]

hope you guys help to fix my essay so that it's more persuasive!
Polistics is always a number one matter in a country. To prepare for war posibility
in advance, going to the army course is compulsive in some countries, for example,
Korea, China, Japan, etc. Therefore, suppose that our government forces students enter the military course within 12 months after graduation, I'm totally in agreement.

The military preparation college's purpose is to train qualitied people with the soul of soldiers. Indeed, the military area is a place in which every activity is performed in discipline, so no one is an exception. Therefore, whether you are a chief general's son, or president's daughter, you fairly receive the discipline or purnishment if you have done something wrong. Moreover, when coming to the army camp, students have a big chance to execute a great sense of self-consciousness due to some strict rules, for instance, getting up early, doing exercise, folding sleeping kit, washing clothes and so on, and specially these steps have to be done on time. In general, the military preparation reshapes better generations before releasing them into real life so that they are able to be qualified citizens for our society.

Young people in general, and students in particular, need to be aware of the right way to reach. Indeed, in the modern age, people easily receive a lot of bad information, or wrong conception, appeal of reaction, which affect badly our fragile thinking. Therefore, young people need a strong education to help avoid loosing their own perception. Once, entering the army camp trainees are taught philosophy, whose effect is greatly important in helping human regconize the right direction of the country. Moreover, there, along with good examples of national heroics in war partly open their mind, and guide them to the beautiful ideal in live. After a short time, students will define exactly polistics condition in the country so that they know what they should develop and defend to against the enermies.

In contrast, it's assumed that going to the army camp costs time but no efficiency. Obviously, instead spending 12 months on training, young people can approach new jobs immediately and enjoy exploring challenges in real world. However, our society needs qualified people, who not only work well but also being moral. Actually, not any places can perform the spirit of teamwork as highly as in the military environment. During 12 months living together, trainees learn how to share difficulties, or give help whenever their comrades need. in other words, young people are taught how to live for community, not just for individual purposes. Therefore, sacrificing 12 months to shape up human personality definitely deserves.

In general, I agree with the military course after students graduate. And I hope the government could legislate on the army course in order that our polistics can develop strongly!

hope to see your feedback soon ! thanks in advance!
thaitam   
Sep 30, 2010
Writing Feedback / Should share employees a company's profit, not just senior managers. Agree or disagre [4]

My essay is still not persuasive I think,it's the first time I deal with argumentative essay. Hope to see your feedback soon! Thanks in advance!

It is widely seen that employees is the indispensible part in a company. Therefore, it is reasonable the employees rationally deserve to enjoy or share profits in their company. And, actually, those gains should be distributed to the workers; after all, their work is to make profits.

First, sharing gains fairly to all employees creates active working environment. Indeed, company includes a group of people working and coordinating together to create products. Thus, obviously, one individual can not finish any work, especially even having a great manager but nothing can be done after all. Therefore, profits should be shared to motivate workers, and indirectly force them to work harder and harder.

Second, staffs are expected to have a company's profit as a fairess. Say, using awards or money, or promotion to motivate is a simple way, today people hope to receice profits as they want to be admited that the company's success are partly achieved by their dedication. Therefore, there is no reason if senior managers always receive high pay packages or profits, and surely workplace is full of anger and dissatisfaction from other workers toward their boss.

It seems to be sensible that senior managers are those who set objectives and take charge of targets, so paying them higher profits is quite appropriate. I admit that without a great leader the company can hardly achieve a large gain. However, behind the leader there is a group of subordinates, who always devote all effort to the success of the company. Accordingly, profits are made by all employees in the firm, so sharing benefits fairly is ultimately necessary.

In sum, employees are important in a firm. For me, they not only have the right to share profits but also have the right to be provided with more care and welfare from their company.
thaitam   
Sep 23, 2010
Undergraduate / Teacher in management, an unforgettable person whom you have encountered in your life [7]

Sometimes, it happens that when one meetwith a person who has changed chan his/her life completely. In my life, I also encountered with a person who changed my way of thinking and she was my teacher in the person who has changed my thinking is my teacher... ( encounter= face, u mean meet ur teacher?)

she has a unique way of analyzing the situations( should say a another way, sound very heavy and not really make sense i think)
Moreover, I noticed that the decision she tookher decision critically leads to better...
This way helps administration to choose the best and efficient way to work on...
although , she was a faculty member, but she came forward to help that poor students (for justice) better use another word, or an adv.
Finally,in addition to the unique way of thinking and extraordinary leadership qualities, she always acts as a responsible person socially in the community. For example, she taught us different ways to keep the environ ment clean...she is a member of ...

I am impressed from with her lifestyle and way of thinking her thought
My life has a positive impact from her she has a positive impact on me or she impacts positively on my life. " in English object can't cause action "
thaitam   
Sep 13, 2010
Writing Feedback / There are many pros and cons toward communicating ways; different options [3]

In the age of information explosion, people easily get information from many various sources such as comics, books, radio, television, film, theatre, ect. However, among of them I think books, radio, television are the most effective ways to convey information.

First, before the widely advent of media books have been the best means to explore information. Indeed, Books have noted many events, experiences, secrect, etc, which become invalueble sources of information today. According to some experts reading can stick in mind longer than watching. Actually, when you read books you tend to concentrate on the letters to sense the content; therefore, the ability to take in the information is higher. However, in the fast tempo lifestyles, reading a book takes over much more time than other media, consequently it causes low efficience.

Second, television has widely changed people's living. In the past, it takes a long time to transmit information from one to one, or popularise news to the public but now with the advancement of technology, people just sit in front of the screen and then watch everything lively. Indeed, Television provides people a large amount of information in the whole world. Therefore, people are able to catch up the lattest news or events on the air currently happening. In contrast, television also brings about downward, specifically causes people gradually addiction. Therefore, television makes people more and more passive.

Third, beside television, radio is a universal medium. Actually, people can enjoy listening at home, and while driving at any time during the day. Moreover, radio allows people receive information from isolated areas where communicating means are still limited. All in all, radio is the convenient means to pick up information, especially for ones who are moving. Yet, the most inconvenient is that people hard to imagine the images through the sound only. So, compare with television, radio still can not develop its function effectively.

In conclusion, there are many pros and cons toward communicating ways. But people have different options to choose from, providing that it's suitable their habit.

hope to see your feedback soon!
thaitam   
Sep 6, 2010
Writing Feedback / Advertising causes unhealthy eating habits. Do you agree or disagree? [4]

In the age of mass media explosion, advertisement plays an extremly important in developing particular trends towards fashion, architechture, travel, or food. However, recently, people start to controvert that advertising causes unhealthy eating habits. In my point of view, eating habits are influenced by many others factors, such as wrong concept of beauty, pressure of work, religion belief, etc. Therefore, I totally disgree with the statement.

Admittedly, advertising has exerted many exaggarated effects to attract customers to buy their products. Fans of a famous singer rarely considerably choose to use the proper products, just simply that the product is being used by her idol. However, advertising is just a medium to promote products, thus it's unfair if we blame advertising for causing unhealthy eating habits. In my observation, here are some root causes of unhealthy eating habits.

Firstly, the increasingly pace of living changes the way people eat, especially people who are in high ranks. Commonly, they are responsible for the great important tasks in society, so they are usually under pressure. They tend to work double others, in some cases, skipping meals is ussual possibly. Or they enjoy the meals by having fast foods like hambugers, sandwiches, pot noddles, etc. Thus people gradually form a bad habit, regularly having whatever as long as can fullfill their stomach, no longer taking paytion to nutrients.

Recenty, " being slender is being beautiful" is new trend among young women. Producers themselves create the new concept towards beauty. These vulnerable ladies willing to refuse the nutrious food though they are very hungry or nearly being fainted. Without follwing specialist's advice, they freely do what they want, or try to itimate the mode of super models. Hence, the misunderstanding of healthy beauty causes many serious diseases, it's by means of advertising.

In conclusion, advertising partly influences peoples' food choice, not mainly chance the habits of eating. Therefore, people should equip enough knowledge about nutrious foods so that we can have a rational eating habit.

Hope to see your feedback soon! thanks!
thaitam   
Sep 6, 2010
Writing Feedback / Past gives us preponderance experience which might be good or bad [4]

it is said that : "Past is an experience, present is an experiment and future is an expectation". This statement shows that developing our future by remembering past experience. Past teaches us lots of lessons, which Learning those lessons are crucial for our happinessin the future. Therefore I think that there is mismatch in the statement that i'm in disageement with "Learning about past has no value for those of us living in the present".

actually, "mismatch" is kind of weird, and it's not appropriate here.
thaitam   
Sep 5, 2010
Undergraduate / Without grading students do not bother to study hard, cope with challenges, overcome difficulties [3]

hey guys! i need all your help to be better in writing. thanks in advance.!
by the way, can you let me know that my essay is short?

Grade is a mark given in an exam for a piece of school work. Students need grades as an assessment for their capacity at school. Good grades are the target, which students have to achieve if they want to step up the higher classes. Therefore, I totally agree that grades encourage students to learn more.

Grades motivate competitive spirit among students. Indeed, students defeat with each other by studying hard to get high scores. For instance, when a student gets lower scores than his classmates, he might ask himself: " Why do not I have a high grade? How can he get this grade? is he better than me? I think we ourselves at least one time ask these questions.

Good grades provide students knowledge. Grades evaluate one's capacity and perform one's attitude towards studying. Obviously, if a student has low grades, it means he might not understand the lessons. Therefore, he needs to chance the way he studies so that he enable to understand lessons and master concrete knowledge next time.

In sum, grades are the essential part of one's studying. Without grading students do not bother to study hard, cope with challenges, overcome difficulties, or perform self-discipline. Therefore, grades motivate students to work harder.
thaitam   
Sep 5, 2010
Writing Feedback / The advertising is the main cause of unhealthy eating habits. [6]

However, advertising is not the main cause of these unhealthy eating habits in that there are others factors give rise to unhealthy eating habits...!
hey guys! could you explain " in that" in this sentence. i dont really make sense, it is a relative pronoun?
thanks!
thaitam   
Sep 3, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOELF: Thomas Edison - One famous person you would like to meet [7]

This was the crucial invention of the modern industrialized world. I can hardly imagine what the world would be now, if there had no electricity .

which was the great implementation of the electrical energy. Although, people had known about this type of energy, its effect was rather limited. Yet, human now can take advantage of electric lights all night long.

I wonder what made him think (in this direction) - what's direction? "it's not clear", and why he devoted his time to work for something,

the inventions of Thomas Edison are the great pushes for science and I consider him as one of the greatest men in the history.
thaitam   
Aug 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Peoples behavior is impacted by Television & Movies [4]

I try to write everyday, but my writting is still verbose. i hope you guys help me to fix it.
Waiting your support!

Television or movies are the cheapest and fastest way to transform information and entertaimment. However, TV and movies always bring about many controversies over its disadvantages as well. Therefore, this following will bring out these argument above.

First, the primary advantage of watching is easily to approach a tremedous source of knowledge. Through sitting in front of the screen, people can excitingly catch up information and news happening on the world. In addition, nice images and lively sounds, people can discover the typical values of many cultures in universe. All in all, Television or movies can be seen as the fastest and cheapest way to get access to information and knowledge.

On the other hand, television also has its disadvantages. Watching too much can influence people's bahaviour, especially on children. Indeed, children or teenagers are the most vulnerable objects who are easily affected by bad programs. Moreover, there are many movies contenting sexual materials and violent scenes, which badly influence the growing of children. In addition, without supervising of parents, teenagers's behaviour are easily corrupted, and this is very dangerous to our next generation.

In sum, television or movies have become the indespesible part of entertaiment. Therefore, to avoid being affected, people should choose selected programs which promote education and moral behaviour in their own.
thaitam   
Aug 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / "parents are the best teacher of their children'' - agree or not? [7]

Topic:(1)some body said that" parents are the best teacher of their children'' do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I guess that (2)almost all of us know about"Teacher''. Teacher can be anyone who give us knowlege, experience, and good advices..(3)Some body said that'' parents are the best teacher of their chidren'', (4)"to" my point of view, i agree (5)this statement (6)"with" two following (7)reason:

1- somebody or someone: basic mistake!
2- amost all people: i prefer it.
3- again Somebody.
4- in
5- with
6- by
7- reasons.
thaitam   
Aug 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: More stress for younger generation? [11]

the highly competitive society is putting greater strains on its citizens " in performing" well at school or in workplace.
What makes the problem worse is that over-ambitious parents are pushing their children harder and harder so that they can "step up" the "high" ladder of their career after graduating.

Your essay is very great in ideas and appropriately in structure.
I prefer my point here as reference. hope you take it!
thaitam   
Aug 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / What do you think are the duties of vietnamese youths nowsadays? [3]

my essay is still disordered. hope to recieve your supplement soon!

It's widely seen that in order to survive and improve we must be important in educating and promoting Vietnamese youths. The development of the youth not only affects the survival of country, also impacts on the future of the nation. Therefore, the youth always is the core force of every country.

At all times, Vietnamese youths are the important part to the development of our country. The duty of build a strong nation is on the youth's shoulder; thus, we are responsibe to perform this spiritual duty. Yet, most of our younger generations are students, so what they can do now is dedicating to studying, exercise moral life, and do physical exercise. Obviously, for students these are primary steps defining their right direction before they take charge the process of build up the country.

"Our ancestors had the merit of founding our country,so we are responsible for preserving and expanding it": said Uncle Ho. As new generations, we should work together to develop a powerful nation. However, recently, there are many cheat in educational environment such as copying condition, cheating at exams, fake certification, ect. For me, the attemp to get rid of this evil still fail to success, therefore, the primary way we can do now is to eliminate it in ourselves.

In conclusion, vietnamese youths play an important role in the career of innovation in our country; however, it's not easy to gain at once. As a result, our generations have to constantly try our best for long time. So, vietnamese youths will be people who develop country in the future.
thaitam   
Aug 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / "we must live in big city" -which is best palce to live small town or city? [6]

hi guy!
(Today or nowadays) due to the development of society, almost small towns have been urbanized rapidly. People become aware of the important of education. With the advancement of technology, people live on fast track ( it's not clear)!.In some rural areas, farmers use moderned equipment like tractor, modified seeds, tested pesticides, etc. But the speed of development is still limited in some areas. Therefore, those areas still remain under small towns.( but no one develops ideas in this way)

It's not a real paragraph or irrelevant . You just use so many fragment sentences. But anyway, you should go directly which place you want to live in.

I'm not sure that im right totally, cos im not a native speaker!
But I hope you develop your idea in this way.
thaitam   
Aug 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / Is Experience More book learning or significant in a person 's life ? Why ? [4]

Learning is a continuous process in every person's life. There is no limit to knowledge. Every day we all receive a certain amount of knowledge, that might be come from new books or daily activities. Therefore, our mind never stops thinking and analysing things in life. However, the fact is learning in books or experiences is better. In my point of view, both of them are very necessary for our knowledge.

First, it's said that "Book is the best friend of people". Indeed, i'm totally convinced by this statement. We all need books to broaden our mind to the widely horizon. In fact, based on the pratical lessons, books record a large amount of knowledge which provides people the useful things in practical activities. For instance, you want to study computer, it's surely easier for you if we consult the computing books in advance. Therefore, the ability of success is probably higher when we apply knowledge in books into reality. Generally, if you have no experience in certain fields, I think you'd better follow the books.

Second, the experiencial learning is very vast and interesting. Beside basing on theory in books, we need a live environment to experiment our knowledge. Particularly, we take in information through senses, yet we ultimately learn by doing. We first watch and listen to others, and then we try to do it on our own. Thus, this sparks our interesting and generates our motivation to self-discover. For example, learning ride a motobike, use a camera, dance, or swim. We take an action, see the consequence of this action, and choose either to continue, or to take a new or diffirent direction. That creates immediate concreate experiences that allow us to use in further action. All in all, active experimentation provides us the most significant lessons that no theory can compare with.

In sum, learning from books and real experiences is the appropriate combination with each other. For me, I refer to apply practice and theory to gain the best success.
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