Writing Feedback / 'Supply and consumption are two major engines' - Assesment of current affairs =) [NEW]

Hi guys. In return for a look at my essay I will contribute to two of yours!

Supply and consumption are two major engines that drive world economy. The balance between them is as important as the size of these two. Once the balance is lost and people started to consume more than necessary, they have entered the era of consumerism. The era in which consumption is no longer the process of meeting certain physical needs, but type of behavior that encourages excessive expenditure. Consumerism is when people do not pay attention to the nature of the things they buy, but do it in order to belong to the high-class society and follow popular trends. Along with changing the interpersonal attitude within the society, consumerism is resulting in severe deterioration of environment in most countries. Considering the consumerism to be an improper economic engine, its effects on population and environment are to be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Having focused only on enhancing state budget, the economists caused the country to enter the era of consumerism. Previously, GDP (gross domestic production) was considered as an accurate measure of standard of living. In other words, the higher the GDP of a country, the more goods and services the population in the country will buy. Therefore, allowing them to enjoy more possessions and products, economy of a country generates larger revenue and extracts more taxes from the revenue, thus will inject budget into an economic cycle so that the next year there are even more goods and services will be available. However, according to XXX, GDP is an imperfect measure of happiness. As a proof he compares GDP rates per capita in the UK in 1710 ($35) with 2000 ($19000). It is clear that even though people had earned marginal amounts of money in the beginning of the 18th century, they still lived more or less happily, in large families and on wide areas. In case current economic concepts, the country will have enough resources to build factories, new industrial areas and etc., even there is inflation and devaluation of country currency. Logically, there is a point when the authorities must stop boosting production and start investing more on social capital: medicine and education, which was skipped in many developed countries. The period of expanding state budget took so long that people became addicted to spending their entire earnings. To make things even worse, increased business competition and advanced marketing tools made people squander their wealth on the goods they barely in need. Consequently, the consumerism causes changes in the society and environment.

It is the society that suffers most from consumerism. To be specific, the relationship between people and ways to be happy within population are negatively affected by it. Since consumerism involves numerous attributes of materialism, people tend to use materialistic approaches to influence others. Such notions as willingness to help others, open-mindedness and kindness are no longer more powerful when compared with paying people for their loyalty, attention and favor. For example, a boy in from the neighborhood will take walk with your dog only if you pay him a tip, because too many things are connected with money and his kindness is more likely will not be returned by others in the consumer society. Moreover, people start to value each other in accordance with their wealth. The worst effects probably are in the families, where parents are pouring the wealth to meet the children's needs. The reason lies in the seduction trend caused by consumerism that young people are vulnerable to. However, not every single parent is able to keep up with this trend, which results in the gain of disrespect from the children and close relatives. Next exemplifying fact is about creating families. The attributes of personality such as mental maturity and self-awareness are not as reliable as personal wealth in the consumer society. Based on this notion, people tend to choose their spouses according their annual earnings.

Along with the society, environment is also heavily affected by consumerism. Since consumerism means increased consumption of goods and services, the businesses are supposed to meet the growing need of the population. So, more and more factories and plants are involved in production process. Car production itself, for instance, produces almost toxic gases into the air, while its cars emit enormous amounts of fume. If looked from other perspective, both production and consumption processes pollute air. Even though there are a bunch of regulations concerning eco-friendly production and utilization, numerous companies dump their industrial waste into the water in order to avoid extra expenditure. According to (16.03.2012), 220 Billion cans, bottles, plastic cartons and paper cups, are thrown away each year in the "developed" world. Furthermore, tobacco production results in the severe degradation of the soil, which means the land will soon become useless for harvesting. This is, again, done so as to supply enough tobacco. Lastly, the space is becoming scarce. However, ruthless businesses are cutting trees in need for space. To "conquer" vast areas from the wildlife brings to forest degradation in a long run. Consequently, less fresh air in the globe and global warming are waiting to concern us. The core cause is that consumerism made us lose balance between environment and rational human beings.

In conclusion, it is obvious that every decision must be made with proper forecasting and evaluation. Single mistake can lead to enormous losses, which was observed in previous paragraphs. It is true that in order to have betterments in the society the economy must be developed. However, the pace of enhancement is to be controlled. Otherwise, it can result in deterioration of the environment around and changes in the infrastructure of society. In my opinion, the root of many conflicts between nature and humans is consumer society and its appearance in many ways. Yet consumer society reached its peak; it is on an upward trend, which means there is still time and opportunity for people to take responsibility not only for themselves, but for the nature that surrounds them. It other words, a complete understanding of consumerism will help the world population to properly shoulder responsibility towards safety of the globe. To be specific, less supply of goods should be considered to control the consumerism, although it cannot be stopped.

Writing Feedback / Sporting Events: Outlet for a patriotic feeling or the way to reduce the tension? [3]

IELTS (writing task 2): International sporting events such as Olympic Games and the Football World Cup provide an outlet for patriotic feelings, and help to reduce international tensions.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

Every four year people of the globe stop to watch Olympic Games OR World Football Cup; the question whether such events are the opportunity for a person to be proud of his country and the way to keep peace in the world will be discussed below.

No one would deny that amongst games the Olympic ones are the most popular. For this amazing celebration nearly every country sends its promising athlets, so that they make their nationS feel pride from them by demonstrating their bests. In fact, in ancient times the Romans and THE Greeks canceled their battles over a land just in order to participate in sporting competitions. Therefore, it is obvious that these events were to ease the tension between the nations, at least temporarily. To my mind, I think THE Olympic Games involved concurrence within participants and created leaders, which was the challenge for losers to pay attention to trainings, rather than to conquests.

I have an impression that there is no boy, who neither enjoys playing football, nor watches it, especially IF his is a Brazilian offspring. As to the statistics, the crime, the child mortality and the drug selling rateS are high in Brazil, whereas living standards and employment are considerably low. Consequently, they find it embarrassing to be a Brazilian. During the World Football Cup, however, they are to experience absolutely opposite feelings, because the Brazilian football team is supposed to be the best in the world. People wear shirts of their team, sing traditional songs in the streets and, even, buy national flags. Miraculously, even rival gangs come together TO ONE PLACE to watch a match of their favorite team.

In conclusion, sporting games transform the way countries compete with each other. By getting Into sport, they tend to forget about the wars, which is at the same time leads the world to live peacefully. Moreover, it is the opportunity to show the country's best features, making its nation to be proud of their country

Writing Feedback / Factory farming food. Your opinion about what it's better to eat. [5]

IELTS (writing task 2): It is better to eat food which is produced locally by small farmers, rather than food produced by "factory farming" and transported long distances.

Guys, please help me with more sophisticated ideas and grammar as well. Thanks in advance =)

In the age, when wide variety of foods are available, many people prefer consuming food manufactured locally to mass produced, exported food. In this essay I will give my opinion towards this decision.

First of all, products, especially foods produced by a local farmer from a neighborhood are usually fresh, whereas exported goods are always experience a long-distance route, which probably worsens their quality. Quite often, people suffer from low qualitative foods, as a consequence they get ill. This will provoke awareness and people will make sure that they are eating safe and fresh food. Moreover, if to think more specifically, their decision to consume locally produced food can lead to the economic development of that area. Farmers and manufacturers will be encouraged to produce more goods and will have resources to improve the quality.

On the other hand, I think mass-products go through serious inspections, because many people will use these products, and foods are not an exception. Before exporting and receiving "factory farming" foods they test them on safety and check for freshness. Another thing to mention is that foods in enormous amounts are usually cheaper than locally generated ones. As to long distance travel of factory foods, I could say that nowadays, with the implementation of advanced technologies, transporting goods is very unlikely will deteriorate their quality. For example, huge fridges are installed on the trucks and ships, which guarantee the initial appearance of food.

To summarize, I have an impression that buying and eating local foods is good when determining their quality, whereas people with strong consideration about the costs will most probably prefer factory made foods. Besides, products from factory are available all year round.

280 words ( 50minutes )

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay "Should high school make music lessons compulsory" ? Opinion [2]

Any feedback is welcome.
Most people claim that in high school music must be taught as a main subject, while others say that this is an unnecessary subject and should at least be optional. In this essay I will give my opinion for both sides.

It is obvious that music has a great power which can positively influence on human being and its psychology. Therefore, many university authorities provide music lessons for their students so that they live and study in a harmony with music. I have an impression that students, who spend a great deal of their time studying different academic subjects should have an opportunity to cope with the stress gained during school time. In this case, music can be a useful and interesting solution. Moreover, if musical activity involves many participants, there will be co-operation and developed team work in the group, which is, of course, beneficial in their future life. In fact, students with a quite poor academic background can show themselves in the music. Consequently, the calm atmosphere in the class might be created.

By contrast, it is clear that music can have many mentally enhancing effects on students. In our hectic life, however, demand is not for musically orientated students, but for academically developed employees. Hence, I agree with the majority, because music is the art which requires special attitude towards it. Increasingly however, students can not obtain supposed impacts, unless they get interested in it more seriously. Therefore, music and other entertaining subjects should be optional. Nowadays, time is the most valuable thing in life with increased pace. To my mind, students are to develop their professional skills by learning occupation-related subjects, rather than playing on guitar or singing a song.

In conclusion, I think that in order to be a competitive worker, students must know their field in an advanced level. On the other hand, music can help an individual to shape its character. An integration of music into learning process bound to be successful when it is not compulsory.

333 words. 3773 sentence structure. Time spent: 45 minutes. Any corrections are welcome.

Writing Feedback / Discuss the effects of advertising on our lives and give your opinion. [3]

Any feedback is appreciated...

Nowadays, wherever you go it is obvious that you come across with advertisements. Most people claim that adds are the bad sides of human activities, while others do not. This essay will look for both positive and negative effects of this on our lives.

Before talking about the impacts, we should know the function of add itself. Basically, the need for informing people with a certain type of good or service led to development of advertisement significantly. After having invented an useful pill, for instance, a producer needs to spread the information about his/her product. In this case, an advertisement through TV or radio can be a beneficial solution, so that many people throughout the country be were of this invention. Moreover, advertising companies comprise a larger part of country's income. As these companies pour a great amount of their wealth, first of all, government benefits from this system.

On the other hand, advertisements can have subsidiary effects on ordinary people and their lives as well. If a manufacturer pays nicely to add company, they can advertise those unnecessary and even, harmful goods. Consequently, we might get isolated in terms of our choices. In other words, they have such power that makes us know the thing that they want and it really works.

To summarize, I think that advertising has advantages and disadvantages as well. However, it depends on us which effect to consume, because advertisement is just a tool to enhance good's features.

Thanks in advance