Undergraduate / Why XYZ college? [4]

Please have some comments on grammar, words choice...
Thank a lot for your help

What influences your desire to attend XYZ?

Till now, I can clearly remember the day I first knew about XYZ. While surfing the web, I intentionally read a piece of writing about XYZ of ABC, a XYZ student. At first, I thought she was boasting because what she said is amazingly met my perception about a perfect college. But to my surprise, the perfection of XYZ was solidly substantiated by the information I found after that. Many websites, many people, they all stated the same things as what the woman had mentioned.

To me, one of the best things about the college is its Honor Code. From the very first time I read about XYZ, I was immediately attracted by its commitment to offer the students their own charge of their own education. It will be wonderful to study in a college where the students are treated like mature and responsible persons. The Honor Code also builds the trust and cooperation between students and faculty, a very important factor in an academic environment. With the Honor Code, XYZ does a great job in offering students valuable opportunities to self-develop.

XYZ small size, first seemed to be its disadvantage, finally turns out to be its advantage which offers the students more personal attention from their professors. Just the simple fact that professors know their students by name can tell me how friendly and conscientious they are. “I never felt short of attention from professors!”, a XYZ student said. I strongly hold the notion that the more individualized attention the professors give me, the more successful I will be in the future, both academically and socially.

As I reflect back on my life, I can see that my intellectual ability will be challenged to grow in the research-style study as well as the CISLA internationalized internship in XYZ. In later years, this study style, together with the help of conscientious professors and good facilities at XYZ, will provide me the latest of advancement in my fields, and guide me to become a responsible citizen in a global society.

I am now so perplexed at my inability to explain in depth to others how greatly I want to attend to XYZ for the sake of a concise essay. But to me, the reason is so obvious, and it lies inside of my heart, my dream - a dream to be challenged in the United State advanced education system in which XYZ is the one that I find the unique blend of academic life and social life, the distinctive feature that excellently support my educational pursuit. I believe that being at XYZ will offer me a stage upon which I can step concretely towards a bright future where I am a successful person not only in my profession but also in my social life.

Writing Feedback / "My hobby" essay (reading) [4]

Please reviews my essay. Thank you a lot

My hobby

I have been devoting the majority of my free time to do what I love most: reading.

It is just wonderful to let myself lose into a whole new world every time I open a book. It can be the fascinating world of magic in "Harry Potter", the intricate world of an autistics boy in "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time", or the mystery world of space and time in "A brief history of time". I was born with the desire to explore the world. But my current situation does not give me any chance to do so. Reading comes as the most useful facility for me to see this wonderful world through others' eyes, thus offering me the scenes of all over the world.

Reading has the ability to change my life, reading helps develop a sense of creativity, ect. Those conceptions are what I hear from my peers, my teachers all the time. They undoubtedly arrive at these conceptions through their own adventures in the books. But to me, reading is simply great way to unwind at the end of a stressful day and enjoy my own imaginations.

It is many years since my first reading. Reading is not my hobby anymore. It is now my need.

Writing Feedback / The Quality of the Decision: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking [2]

Some weeks not writing makes me feel hard to write again, yet I have finished an essay. Please give me some comments. Thank you a lot.

Assignment:

Are decisions made quickly just as good as decisions made slowly and carefully? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

During my lifetime, I have made a prodigious number of decisions. Though quickly made decisions were sometimes efficient, they failed in most cases, especially in crucial situations which deserve rigorous scrutiny. My opinion, therefore, is that decisions made quickly cannot be as good as decisions made slowly and cautiously.

In our daily lives, we can meet a lot of situations in which we choose to make decisions slowly and cautiously. Though decisions made quickly may work, we cannot risk our chance to solve a problem or to achieve something just because we did not choose to make decisions more slowly and prudently. Most striking, two years ago, when attending informatics class, I decided to buy a laptop to my study. Though the school had facilitated this class with a computer room, my desire of owning a laptop made me ...

Writing Feedback / Becoming whistleblowers - Honesty and what we sacrifice [2]

Thank you, Gloria!

Here is today essay

If we valued honesty, we would be willing to risk our jobs to become whistleblowers and tell truths that our employers did not want revealed. If we valued success, we would give up our free time in order to excel in a subject or sport. In other words, the sacrifices we are willing to make reveal what we care about the most.

Assignment:
Can what we value be determined only by what we sacrifice? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue.

Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations
What we sacrifice definitely reveals what we care about the most. I am living in Vietnam. There are many things, such as my country itself, influence my stance on this statement. My experience about the life also gives me many reasons to believe in that statement. In a word, I totally agree with the notion that what we sacrifice have a crucial role in determine what we are trying to achieve.

Vietnam - a developing country - is a good model to exemplify this ...

Writing Feedback / The Good Sides of the Internet Invention [NEW]

Internet good sides.

"For me, one of the best moments of the 20th century is the invention of the internet. In just a few years time from its first appearance, the internet has become one of the most important inventions to a lot of people, for whom the experience with internet was new, strange, and delightful. Nowadays, internet is inseparable from many people's daily lives. Internet assists them in many aspects of life, including studying, trading, and entertaining.

Studying now becomes more convenient than ever. Students do not need to spend their money on buying books, sometimes expensive books, to learn. The internet provides them free resources, in many of which the knowledge is provided and tested by not just some individuals but also a large online community. Students now do not need to spend time finding the right book for their studies. Internet provides not only the resource to study but search machines as well, Google for example, for finding best appropriate resources for the students. With internet, students also have a chance build their self-reliance. For example, in the past, whenever students met obstacles in solving problems or conducting a project, the found the professors for assistance. Today, though professors' advice are of course trustworthy as they were in the past, students have another way to overcome difficulties actively by themselves - finding information or others' experience in the large online community. Imagine, then, what it is like to be in the college when students are more self-reliable; that is a college where students study actively and have the better potential for future success.

Today, people do not need to out for shopping. Internet provides them the chance to buy many things while they are at home. Just turning on the computer, getting in a suitable online shop, people will find everything they can find in the real shop. Moreover, when people want to make a business but they are far from each other, such as they are from different countries, they still have the chance to negotiate and deal online (Remove comma) through the internet. Entertaining also becomes more convenient and comfortable more than ever. Nowadays, online music and movies are abundant for people to find. When a person wants to listen to his or her favorite song, he or she does not need waste time to go out to buy a CD;e or she just downloads the song in more or less a minute, and then listens to it.

For many people, inventing the internet is important more than anything else. Many other people of course think differently, but I can say that they all agree that internet has provided us many benefits which contribute in the world's developmental progress."

Writing Feedback / Studying through a computer or studying in school (what students prefer) [2]

Thank for your very detailed explanations!

Oh! Class assignments are bringing me down =.=, but I still keep writing...^^

Here is today essay

Which would you prefer? Studying though computer or studying in school

When it comes to the idea of study method, many people believe some more advanced ways like studying through computer are better; I personally think that it is better to study traditionally - study in school with friends.

The most important factor that influences my stance is the study interaction. When studying through computer, a person usually interact with only a single other person - his or her tutor. To study well, a student needs to discuss with not only the teacher but also the other students because the teacher cannot always provide the optimal solution to a problem, or always have the right advice; the student needs his or her classmates, who may have a better, even far better, way to overcome problems the student has faced. I myself have faced this situation. My grade 9 chemistry teacher had a teaching method that I could not follow. When I was frustrated because of my chemistry knowledge and the final test were coming, no one but my friends helped me to improve my knowledge, in a way that I thought is more understandable than any teachers' teaching methods.

Secondly, I think that studying ...

Writing Feedback / Studying abroad: seeking better opportunities for students? [NEW]

I have some questions.

I was certainly effected I do not get why using 'effected' instead of 'affected' here? I meant that 'I was influenced by bad behaviors'

the child's difficulties in their studies
I mean that the difficulties is in the child's study process. So it is appropriate to use 'his or her' instead of 'their' here, isn't it?

Here is today essay.

Studying Abroad.

People study abroad for many reasons. The most obvious advantage is that studying abroad brings people new experiences and knowledge. Furthermore, if a country has people with experiences and knowledge from studying abroad in a more advanced country, that country will have the chance to develop better.

Studying abroad, especially in developed country, brings people new experience. For many people, living and studying in the same place all their lives seems to be very tedious. They seek opportunities to gain new experiences and perceptions about the world. Inside those people are the passions to explore the world. Studying abroad is one of the most legitimate and easiest ways to satisfy their desires. This provides the chances not only to know more people and more cultures but also to gain academic knowledge. This experience will give them advantages in the future success. Knowing more advanced knowledge helps them to get better job and promotion.

Sending students to study abroad is one of important strategies for a developing country to develop. As we all know, education has a crucial role in developing process of a lot of countries. Countries' governments realize the important of talents and the need to develop their abilities, but in those countries, the education system may not have enough facilities to support the teaching and studying process. Studying abroad comes as a pragmatic solution. Many developing countries send their students to more advanced country to study new knowledge which can be used in the developing process of those countries. In my country Vietnam, for example, students have many opportunities to receive scholarship to study abroad. The government is always willing to grant money to good students so that they will have more advanced environment to study, and then the students will come back with knowledge to contribute to the country.

The fact is that more and more students go studying abroad can easily prove the advantages that studying abroad brings to develop each countries as well as the whole world. If countries can learn from each other by the mean of sending students studying abroad, I believe that the world will become an unite and advanced house for us to live in."

Writing Feedback / 'Never, never give up' - students meeting obstacles [NEW]

This is today essay.
Opinion about the expression 'Never, never give up'

"Every time I meet obstacles on the way to obtaining my goals, I tell to myself not to give up and keep trying. To me, the expression "Never, never give up" is the one that I completely agree with. People meet difficulties many times in their lives. Some people fail, others overcome difficulties to achieve goals. The most important factor that makes the difference is the determination to never give up.

The determination to never give up is the key leading to success. With that characteristic, people will have many advantages. For example, some employers want to test the applicants' enthusiasm in the jobs, so that they do not accept the applicants on the first time. Some applicants will definitely give up because they think it is over; others with the characteristic to never giving up think differently, they will find the way to prove their abilities by reapplying with more well-prepared and impressive resumes. This time, their chances to be accepted is definitely higher. This characteristic is also important for scientists. Because of their very hard work in experiments, scientists usually meet obstacles, which will make them frustrated, on the way discovering something. If scientists do not have the determination to never give up, we would hardly have the world with lots of inventions and important discoveries many crucial aspects of our lives such as medicine or transportation.

If we fail, the determination to never give up gives us another chance to make our dreams come true. Without that characteristic, we hardly overcome the burden of past failures to achieve future successes. The people who want to give up are filled with frustrations which make they cannot think anything rationally, so that they cannot learn from the failures. As a result, they barely have the chances to succeed in the future; because, as we all know, successes are built from the lessons of failures. In a word, the determination to never give up is a very good thinking which will guide us to successes.

Though there are many obstacles that we meet in our lives, the determination to never give up will be the incentive for us to overcome those difficulties to come to our goals. Even if we failed again, we would not regret because at least we had done our bests. To me, it is true to say that this characteristic is good in all circumstances in life."

Writing Feedback / Many people base on advertising to assess things. Getting know about a country. [2]

Because of my math assignment, I've temporarily stopped writing :(

Now I can keep writing hard again. ^^

Here is my essay.

Can advertising tell lots of about a country?

Many people base on advertising to assess things. To me, advertising is not reliable enough to know about lots of things, especially a country. Advertising is only a short video or something like that. Advertising usually tells us only the good sides. Even worse, it sometimes provides us wrong information.

...

Writing Feedback / Are real events, real people, and established facts the best for studying? [2]

Thank for your opinion, Gloria.

Here is Toefl essay of the day

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts.

There are some people who are too pragmatic so they only read books that are about real events, real people, and establish facts. To me, that way of reading books is so tedious. I would prefer to read other kind of books such as fictions rather than just read the books about real things because those other books will provide me ability to imagine, motivation to study, and more funs.

First of all, reading books related to unreal events and people such as science fiction may help us to imagine.
...

Writing Feedback / Playing game is not only fun if I win - there are many other factors I prefer in playing a game [2]

This is the essay I've written

Playing game is only fun if you win. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Some people think that a game cannot be full without winning. I personally do not agree with this notion. After playing some games, I can realize that there are a lot of useful things that I could get from a game other from winning. They are working in team, gaining experiences, and relaxing.

Writing Feedback / Some people trust their first impression about a person, while some do not. [2]

Some people trust their first impression about a person, while some do not. Compare these two attitudes. Which one do you agree with.

"First impressions are important to many people because it is the gate for them to get acquainted with some one. However, to many other people, including me,a first impression does not provide enough information to judge whether some one is good or bad.

People who think first impressions are trustworthy have their own reasons. First impressions are one of the most important factors for them to decide whether or not they should get acquainted with some one else, because, to them, the first attitude or behavior is adequate to know how some one is, good or bad. If they see one's appearance is appealing or his or her smile is friendly, they immediately decide to get acquainted to him or her.

Many others think differently. They do know that first impressions are important to decide whether or not they should get acquainted with someone, but it definitely cannot provide enough information to judge whether that people is good or bad. Many people who want to exploit other people pretend to be friendly, but in fact, they are not. For example, vendors have many good behaviors like smiling or talking friendlily, but what they want is for the person they are talking to to buy something, some do not pretend to be so, but there are some who do so just because they want to sell their goods.

My stance on this issue inclines to the second opinion. Humans' characteristics are very complicated. It cannot be based on just the very first impression to understand someone else, it needs time for sure. There are many factors that is much more important than the first impression such as whether or not some one will help us when we have problems, and how he or she help. Those other things will show how sympathy, how faithful some one is.

Our society is complicated with many types of people. To have a really good friend we need to know not only how that people behave when he or she meet us for the first time but we also need to give a long time to know that one's characteristics better."

Writing Feedback / Children should learn household tasks to survive [2]

I really appreciate all the help you give me, Gloria. ^^
Write till I drop...
Here is my today's essay.

Children should be required to do household tasks as soon as they are able to do so. Do you agree or this agree?

When it comes to the issue that whether children should be required to help with household tasks as soon as they are able to do so or not, different people have different ideas. As far as I am concerned, it is completely reasonable to require children to do so. Ideas that aptly illustrate my points of view are expressed below.

Firstly, if parents do not require their children to do household task as soon as they are able to do so, it will be very hard for parents to tell their children to do the tasks once the children get used to the ideas that they do not have the obligation to do those tasks The children will think that it is them parents work and they have nothing to do with this. Without obligations, children will hardly succeed, or even survive, in this harsh world.

Secondly, when children do the household tasks, they may know how hard their parents have worked, so the relationship parents and children will be better and better. After a long work outside, parents will be happy very much if they see their children share the works with them, see their children grow up having sympathy for parents hard work. The family's members due to that will have a stronger bond with each others.

Last but not least, doing household tasks will help children build a very concrete base for their future. Once children get acquainted with the obligations the have in household tasks, they will do better in the other works they are required to do. For example, just as they do their household tasks, so do they voluntarily finish their homework because they know that is their obligation. Furthermore, in the future, they will have a better condition to find a good job because employer may need a person who has obligation rather than a person who has lots of knowledge or experiences but not obligations.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notions that parents should require their children do the household tasks as soon as they able to do so.

Writing Feedback / Do students prefer traditional house or modern house? [2]

Please review this essay (and the essay above ^^)

Thank you very much for your great help.

Do you prefer traditional house or modern house?

Our world is developing very fast, and so brings us more things that facilitate our lives, modern house is one of those many things. There is no reason that we need to live in a traditional house while great modern houses are available. Modern house will offer us more comfortable, more efficient, and safer lives.

...

Writing Feedback / Should high schools let students learn what they choose? [4]

Another one
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: "High school should let students study what they want to study"
The proposition that high schools should allow their students to study the courses that they want to study is a thought-provoking one, and one that I believe in.

First, studying is best efficient when it is comfortable. Giving students chances to choose what they really interest in is a very good way to encourage their abilities to develop. It is irrefutable that students who study the courses they like will have better results than students who are assigned courses by the school.

One cannot become a good cook if he or she do not interest in food at all. If one wants to succeed, he or she cannot just study but need to have enthusiasm in what he or she study.

Second, no one but the students themselves know their real talents; so students should choose their own appropriate courses. Those courses will not only provide them knowledge but also help them to develop their talent. For example, students who love computer will gain far more knowledge in computer than who do not because he or she learn not only through teachers but through they talent to interact with computer as well.

Writing Feedback / Changing and staying the same in life. Which would you prefer? [2]

Thank for your help, Gloria. I am keeping up my hard work because the test is very near. This is another topic ^^.
Changing and staying the same in life. Which would you prefer?

Human's life perceptions are diverse. Some people believe that changes are good; while others think that they should stay the same.

It is reasonable for some people to like changes. First, changes bring us more opportunities in our lives. For example, when we change our jobs, the jobs can provide us more salary than the former ones. Second, if we change, we can find more experiences which will help us to live better in this competitive world.

...

Writing Feedback / Movies show us wonderful things and people who we cannot find in the real world [2]

[Toefl essay] Explain why movies are popular.

Please reviews my essay. Thank you.

Give this essay a point (5 is maximum)

Nowadays, movies are very popular and become parts of our life. There are hundreds film made a year. We watch movie for many reasons.

First, movies show us wonderful things and people that we cannot find in the real world. We are always curious so we see the movie to explore what we have not ever though of. Science fiction movies gain lot of success because of this. Furthermore, movies provide what we expected in our world such as superman that helps people, drugs that can cure every disease. Second, some movies are very realistic. They tells about many problems that can happen to every one of us; moreover, they also how to solve those problems efficiently. Though there are some differences between movie and real life, we sometimes can apply what movies teach us to come over problems we meet. Third, movies are very effective in entertaining us. After a long day of working or studying, seeing a movie is a great idea. Movies can make us laugh; thus make our life more interesting. We cannot just go to work then eat then sleep. That life is so tedious. We need a little excitement, and we find that in movies. By providing us excitement, movies compensate for our daily life burden in studying, in working, etc. Whatever the changes maybe in many aspect of our life, I can be sure that movies still role an important part in making this world more exiting.