ZhoeK
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Love&MD' - Common Application Essay [4]
Here goes, and thanks for stopping by.
I would like feedback/critique on my common application essay based on content, grammar and overall readability. Was it terribly boring, ordinary, good, bad, whatever - I would really like to hear your opinion of it, so don't hold back. Also if the title is okay as is, or if you have any suggestion, feel free to mention it. Thank you!
PROMPT: Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence. [250-500words]
POTENTIAL TITLE:'Cynical Love'
It was love at second listen.
I was shocked by my profession and how glibly it had rolled off of my usually guarded tongue. For a dedicated cynic who believed naught of 'love' and its follies, I was confounded by how instantaneous and inexplicable the sensation was. In a snap, my once utterly cliché and lacklustre life, as varying as a scratch record, transformed into sheer brilliance. I was forcibly wrenched from the mind-numbing depths of boring and uninteresting melodies with shallow and meaningless lyrics and submerged into beautiful and enchanting music, the likes of which I had never encountered before.
In popped Marina Lambrini Diamondis, my very own prince charming who, under the alias Marina and the Diamonds (MD), has liberated me from the drudgery of pop music and its pervasive nature, one intense song at a time. It seemed more than coincidental yet downright impossible that one musician's lyrics perfectly epitomized my idiosyncratic thoughts and ideas but I found myself relating to every MD song I could find.
Always one to introspect when posed with a predicament, my gut reaction was always to stifle all emotions. I associated emotions with weaknesses, but through Marina's profound lyrics along with the catchy yet erratic beats and, the sharp, unexpected lilt of her voice, I have come to the realization that emotions should be experienced in their entirety: unrestrained and unreservedly. The emotionless void that had consumed me, no longer had its steely grip on me and I am now better able to handle my own emotions as well as others.
READ BELOW
Here goes, and thanks for stopping by.
I would like feedback/critique on my common application essay based on content, grammar and overall readability. Was it terribly boring, ordinary, good, bad, whatever - I would really like to hear your opinion of it, so don't hold back. Also if the title is okay as is, or if you have any suggestion, feel free to mention it. Thank you!
PROMPT: Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence. [250-500words]
POTENTIAL TITLE:'Cynical Love'
It was love at second listen.
I was shocked by my profession and how glibly it had rolled off of my usually guarded tongue. For a dedicated cynic who believed naught of 'love' and its follies, I was confounded by how instantaneous and inexplicable the sensation was. In a snap, my once utterly cliché and lacklustre life, as varying as a scratch record, transformed into sheer brilliance. I was forcibly wrenched from the mind-numbing depths of boring and uninteresting melodies with shallow and meaningless lyrics and submerged into beautiful and enchanting music, the likes of which I had never encountered before.
In popped Marina Lambrini Diamondis, my very own prince charming who, under the alias Marina and the Diamonds (MD), has liberated me from the drudgery of pop music and its pervasive nature, one intense song at a time. It seemed more than coincidental yet downright impossible that one musician's lyrics perfectly epitomized my idiosyncratic thoughts and ideas but I found myself relating to every MD song I could find.
Always one to introspect when posed with a predicament, my gut reaction was always to stifle all emotions. I associated emotions with weaknesses, but through Marina's profound lyrics along with the catchy yet erratic beats and, the sharp, unexpected lilt of her voice, I have come to the realization that emotions should be experienced in their entirety: unrestrained and unreservedly. The emotionless void that had consumed me, no longer had its steely grip on me and I am now better able to handle my own emotions as well as others.
READ BELOW
