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Posts by jasononwenu [Suspended]
Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Last Post: Jan 1, 2012
Threads: 5
Posts: 19  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 24
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jasononwenu   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'youthful and critical college years' - Stanford Roommate [5]

It makes me wanna be your roommate! It's personal and the sentence and ideas flow together... I wish I could help, but I don't seem to find any weaknesses in your essay, but I'll let you know! Nice metaphor by the way with the palm trees and the Mediterranean climate. :)
jasononwenu   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The School Radio' - Extracurricular activities [6]

Your response is great. It's personal, no grammar or diction problems, and the sentences and ideas flow together. Thanks for editing my essay by the way haha.
jasononwenu   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'life on the computer and on the Internet' - Weird UPenn Essay [4]

Optional short essay (approximately 150 words): introduce yourself to Penn. Our aim is to better understand how your identity, talents, and background guide your day-to-day experiences.

I live my life on the computer and on the Internet. When I have free time, I would have loads of tabs on. I do not close the tab labeled "Black Swan" because I might want to watch some other horror movie later. When I'm done with that, maybe I might want to head over to the other tab to order an Italian-English dictionary. Who knows? I might meet someone who speaks Italian just when I sign up for volunteering on the next tab. Volunteering. I wonder if other volunteers like to listen to R&B and Pop music that I always have on my YouTube tab. No, they are talking about a biology assignment. How I love biology. New Tab. Search. Biology. Meaning: study of life and living organisms. This might come in handy when I become an oncologist. New Tab. Search. Cancer in Nigeria. "Breast Cancer is Rising Threat in Nigeria." This just proves my home country really does need an oncologist. Tab overload. These are tabs I will never close while I am still alive.
jasononwenu   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Living and dreaming' - University of Chicago Long Essay [12]

OOPS sorry. This is the prompt.

Spanish poet Antonio Machado wrote, 'Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it.' Give us your guess.

There aren't any right or wrong answers, as I am told. It is up to the applicant's interpretation.
jasononwenu   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Living and dreaming' - University of Chicago Long Essay [12]

Potential! The answer is potential. Sorry for blurting out the answer like that, but perhaps I must explain further. Envision the nervous system. Dreaming is like a signal from the brain; it represents our desire for an object. On the other hand, living is the execution of that signal; it manifests itself as the being. In order that these two concepts connect, there must be a mediator: potential. Potential represents the neurons; in the psychological sense, it can be seen as the possibility of a dream actually becoming a reality. Given these points, a process can be detected. Dreaming is an idea or a goal that one wants to accomplish; potential is the effort or the essence of "putting one's soul into it", and is built upon the personality of the person; living is the product of the effort you put into actualizing one's dreams. Thus, the system of living, potentiality, and dreaming is presented.

Let us take on a hypothetical spin, shall we? Anyone that is living encounters the concept of life, potentiality, and dreams. For example, it is common for a child to wish they could become the President of the United States. According to the principle, they obviously dream about sitting in the Oval Office swivel chair, in an oversized, navy blue blazer and slacks, with their calves upon the desk and their mouths gnawing on a piece of bubblegum. However, the possibility of this becoming real lies in the potential of the individual. What are the person's capabilities? Are they willing to put in the effort to satisfy the desire of the being? In this case, a Future President of the United States must excel greatly in academics, take on an interest in politics, develop leadership qualities, and engage in numerous community events. If the being does carry on these characteristics, then the potential of the being becoming President becomes extant and the dream becomes a reality. If the being is not motivated by these characteristics, then the connection between dreaming and life no longer exists and the being becomes unfit to carry out its dream. This all, of course, factors out the external influences upon the success of the individual, for they have no control over these influences.

That last sentence. What do I mean by external influences? Namely, external influences are forces that persuade the internal influences, or the potential. An example? Charles M. Schulz. Yes, the Peanuts guy. He developed an affinity for drawing because he loved reading the comics as a child (Stage 1: Dreaming/Desire). At one point during his high school career, he was ridiculed for his drawings in the yearbook (Stage 2: Potential). The ridicule that he received from his peers was the external influence. Think of it as an evaluation of the potential; the other students might have thought that his drawings were not as good enough that it came across as funny. This "external influence" motivates Charles's potential to persevere in his quest of becoming a cartoonist. Incidentally, Schulz has also been rejected several times by many publishing companies before the St. Paul Pioneer Press finally published Peanuts for the first time in 1947.

Yes, I may be still rambling on, but I must introduce two final instances in the process. One instance is the fact that one may dream of more than one desire. For example, I have been revering anatomy, mathematics, and language learning for ages now. The potential for being a polyglot oncologist, who could comprehend the concept of derivatives and integrals, were high: I learned my multiplication facts by three, always owned and carried around a Human Body book and CD when I was little, and had a collection of foreign language dictionaries stacked upon my bedroom wall. Now that I just have to excel in these subjects in school and major in them in college, the reality of becoming that calculus-obsessed polyglot oncologist is likely to exist. All in all, two desires are likely to translate into two realities if the potential can be able to withstand them.

The other instance is the fact that the desire either is not there, is unknown, or is latent. Another hypothetic situation: suppose there is a girl named Lisa Simpson. She wants to be a doctor, but she has the potential of being a saxophonist. Her life is devoted to music, but she really loves being able to learn about people and how to cure them of diseases and injures. In one case, if both the desire and the potential are of the same strength, the reality is that Miss Simpson here would become a saxophone-playing surgeon. In the other case, if the potential is stronger than the desire, then the reality might be that Miss Simpson would be a saxophonist. And obviously if the potential is not there, she would be neither.

As you have seen, potential is an important phase in translating dreams into a reality. Without it, our dreams are not able to become reality. Without desire, the potential will be able to take over and manifest itself as the reality. Thus, there would be no reality without potentiality, although desire could stand by itself. At last, potential is the third entity besides dreaming and living, given that one entity cannot exist without this entity.
jasononwenu   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Living and dreaming' - University of Chicago Long Essay [12]

Well, the "reverse psychology" is up to your interpretation. There are two paths: people would just flat out not write about reverse psychology; in other words, it's a topic of your choice with the exception of "reverse psychology", and the other path was to actually analyze with circular reasoning the fact that writing about reverse psychology is the reverse psychology of not writing about reverse psychology. So it totally is up to you. Remember it's not the content, but the way you present your content. :)
jasononwenu   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Living and dreaming' - University of Chicago Long Essay [12]

U of C Long Prompt: Spanish poet Antonio Machado wrote, 'Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it.' Give us your guess.

This is just the beginning paragraph. Please help me! What else should I add and is this going well so far?

-----> Potential! The answer is potential. Sorry for blurting out the answer like that, but perhaps I must explain further. Envision the nervous system. Dreaming is like a signal from the brain; it represents our desire for an object. On the other hand, living is the execution of that signal; it manifests itself as the being. In order that these two concepts connect, there must be a mediator: potential. Potential represents the neurons; in the psychological sense, it can be seen as the possibility of a dream actually becoming a reality. Given these points, a system can be detected. Dreaming is an idea or a goal that one wants to accomplish; potential is the effort or the essence of "putting your soul into it", and is built upon the personality of the person. Living is the product of the effort you put into actualizing your dreams. Thus, the embodiment (or system? [what is a better word?]) of living, potentiality, and dreaming is presented.
jasononwenu   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Celebrate My Nerdy Side! A sneaky prompt from Tufts. [8]

I really like this essay. It's really clever and funny. However, I agree with the others, isn't a little too daring? Are you sure the adcoms will take this literally?
jasononwenu   
Dec 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'college is not another dull place' - U of C Short Essay [6]

ChihiroLavi, I want to add that the U of C is the one because out of all colleges that I have researched, it seemed to call out the most to my fervent interest for language learning, my intent to venture into the medical field, and my ability and longing to connect with the people that surround me. So where would I be able to put this in my essay?
jasononwenu   
Dec 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'college is not another dull place' - U of C Short Essay [6]

Please help me read/revise this essay! It would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Prompt:How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

Three. That was the age I started reading and learning my multiplication facts. Eight. Everyone always would refer to me as the Doctor. Twelve. I joined National Junior Honor Society and started my Community Service. Fourteen. I considered taking up a career in medicine. Seventeen. Specifically, I became interested in oncology. Eighteen. Blank.

The University of Chicago is the ultimate destination at which I can fulfill my wishes of continuing my education and community service and taking the steps to my career goals by pursuing my interests. The University has a reputation of tending to its undergraduates by creating the Core, which is a program that would keep me organized and in line, not only with academics, but with my future goals and interests. Also, its language requirement for undergraduates will quench my thirst of language learning. Its standing is also derived from its prestigious faculty, which I hope will inspire me to be introduced into a whole new world of learning and thinking. In terms of community, the U of C expands from Chicago to the US to every corner of the globe. Its 250+ clubs and organizations, such as El Club de Espanol, the Pre-Med Students Association, and the Alpha Phi Omega, allow me to connect socially with others with the same interests, to better assimilate into the U of C society, and to continue on with community service. Participating in sports, such as basketball, cross country, and swimming, will help me develop a sense of teamwork, sportsmanship, and character. The campus also demonstrates its unity and diversity through events such as the cultural shows and PanAsia, which could elicit in me an appreciation and an embracement of other cultures. The University of Chicago displays a vibrant school spirit that encourages extreme loyalty and allegiance that I would want to provide to the institute. Overall, the university conveys an important message: college is not another dull place, but yet a place where a new life begins; a new life that I would want to be a part of. Eighteen? The University of Chicago.
jasononwenu   
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / What I did for just plain fun - Pomona Supplement [5]

It depends on what the requirements state about your essay lengths. Your essay is about 770 words, which in most essay requirements is slightly too long. However, your story does have a bit of a comedic stance to it, but it doesn't quite answer the prompt. It states that you should talk about extracurricular activities. Maybe you should add more of your experience with EC's and write about the fun you've derived from them.
jasononwenu   
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / My love for guitar - Common App Activities Essay [9]

I'm sorry, but I agree with the other guy. It doesn't quite fulfill the requirements. Maybe talk about how your guitar playing has affected those around your community. Have you ever done a benefit for an unfortunate person or something of that nature? Try writing about that.
jasononwenu   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / Medicine Study - PLME ESSAY [NEW]

Please help! I am in need of revision for Brown's PLME essay. It is 495 words, just short of the 500 word requirement and I did my best to compress everything in two paragraphs. Please read and edit for me please, so I can send this out! Thanks!

Medicine / Biology / Chemistry Studies



Medicine. It seems like such a simple word but really carries along with it a potent meaning. It was quite recent that I've wanted to pursue a career in medicine. In fact, I had not decided my specific profession in the medical field until the latter part of my junior year in high school: oncology, the study of cancer. My parents (my mother an LVN and my father a medical technologist) have heavily influenced and supported me in my career decisions. In the summer of my junior year, I volunteered at my father's workplace, the Methodist Hospital. I was a nurse's assistant; while I was there, I learned about the hygiene of the hospital and the protocols for patient care. This was an important experience for me because it exposed me to the medical atmosphere that I will soon encounter after graduating medical school. I have chosen to apply to the Program in Liberal Medical Education because I believe that this program is exceptional in allowing expectant doctors to pursue both medicine and any liberal subject of their interest. For example, along with preparing for the MCAT and medical school, I would take some Classics courses pertaining to Latin, and French studies, satisfying my linguistic interests. The PLME is an ideal medical program because the undergraduates are considered, taken care of, and always assisted by advisors. Paths are made smoother and the interests of the students are taken in account. The program ensures that we don't take the path to our destination alone.

I am in love with biology and chemistry. There's no dispute about that. I am fascinated at analyzing how the essentials function together in order to produce the precious essence of life. Seeking a career in oncology, I am destined to take courses ranging from molecular biology to biochemistry to immunology. But along with my strong predilection of these subjects, I also have an affinity for learning languages. The beauty and benefits for learning any language I think are endless. Being able to understand the people and the cultures of the world could introduce me to a whole new world of how I think and portray life. Also, I look forward to connecting my knowledge and interests in the sciences and the liberal arts to make my career more meaningful. By taking humanities courses, ranging from Classics (Latin) to French studies to Psychology, I will be able to do much more with my career as an oncologist. Latin will be able to help me understand medical terms. French studies could help me understand a Francophone, if I ever come across any, and will quench my thirst for language learning. Psychology will be able to help me understand the human mind and behaviors. I am willing to take any courses to help me become a better doctor, and I feel that the PLME is the perfect start. Medicine. Definition: being able to be part of making the world a better place to live.
jasononwenu   
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / my mom's fight with cancer--- Common App essay [12]

This essay is excellent. I am writing something like this, in terms of motherly affections and how much my mother/family means to me, and I think any topics regarding this is a very good college essay topic.
jasononwenu   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / Life is a Game - Common App Essay (Stanford, Harvard, Columbia) [7]

If there's too many "to be" verbs, cut at least half of them out. Try to reword some sentences and phrases because usually people like to say what they need to say in many more words than needed. ELIMINATE any words such as "thing", "so", "stuff", etc. because these are just "gap words"; they contribute nothing to the essay. Good luck!
jasononwenu   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'congested the living room' - good enough for Ivies? [3]

I just need someone to read and edit my essay. Is it good enough for any Ivy or top schools? Do I need to add or delete anything? Please help!

The sky was cloudless. Brilliant sun rays bled through the Venetian blinds that my mother had recently bought. Fragrant aromas diffused throughout the house. There was the thick scent of the turkey heavily influenced by rosemary; the rice, whose scent was quite indistinguishable, but yet worth the finger-licking; and both the pumpkin and blueberry pies, whose fruity scent sweetened the dominant odor of the spices. The aroma was too enticing to cease salivation; it was also inviting and foreshadowing, as if to summon us to a genial dinner ahead!

Some relatives and friends (particularly, of my parents) congested the living room. Men clamored over the Thanksgiving football game on television. Women gossiped and boasted about their jewelry, clothing, and friends. My mother stood as the only exception. Although she contributed to the conversations the women have held, most of her attention concentrated on the dinner. She started cooking at the crack of dawn. But now, at three in the afternoon, everyone was ravenous. The food was ready, but only a couple of minutes remained before distribution. Mother did not set up the tables this year. But the adults stayed in the living room, while others ascended to the gaming room where the television also made it possible to provide a meal and a show.

After ten minutes or so, my mother provided the meal first to the adults, and then summoned the kids. They fled down the stairs in elation that the scrumptious repast had been finally ready after a couple tantalizing hours. I followed after, internally eager to receive my meal. My mother looked emotionless, mindlessly handing out platter. When it came my turn to collect my food, I gave my mother a kiss. She looked at me affectionately and thrust her arms around my neck, as if to give me a half-hug or a gentle headlock. I smiled and laughed heartily, then whispered in her ear, "Thank you."

This moment was one of the best memories to cherish. Being surrounded by relatives and friends who live to laugh and love and break bread with one another is not entirely universal. I consider myself lucky, compared to those who have lost their loved ones via combat, estrangement, and et cetera. My heart goes out to those less fortunate; I know that the same Force and the same Being that has given me my life will go on to help to change their lives for the better. God has made me happy by giving me people to depend on and to love. Without Him and them, side by side, I would have no motivation to live. He always is and will be worthy of praise.