Undergraduate / COMMON APP TRANSFER SYRACUSE: I Dream of becoming a Unifying Communicator [3]

Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this? (Maximum: 250 words)

I dream of becoming an expert communicator, a creative online creator, and a global peace facilitator. Specifically, I desire to create online content to help others better understand North Korea, with the hope that it will trigger constructive conversation about the North Korean people. My goal is to shift people's focus from the oppressive government to the powerful potential of the North Korean citizens, because I believe this is an important first step toward our unification.

Through life experiences, I have learned that an effective communicator is one who understands both sides of the story and is able to deliver it without bias. And I believe Syracuse University is the perfect place to develop into my dream self, because it embodies exactly what I am seeking-a diverse, inclusive, and broad-minded education that encourages students to see beyond the limits within their own walls. At Newhouse School of Communications, I know my mind will be stretched through its challenging curriculum that explores real-world problems and prepares students with practical knowledge and skills. Through my education at Syracuse, I know I will be able to take my first steps into the world with a confident heart and a learned mind, ready to achieve the dream of taking part in the peaceful unification of my country.

ANY COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED. THANKS! :)

Undergraduate / ROCHESTER TRANSFER SUPPLEMENT: THE SKY WAS NEVER BLUE [2]

Rochester University Transfer Supplemet:
February 2015 saw global, record-breaking low temperatures in the Eastern US and Rochester. Students here who thrive in white winters (and three beautiful other seasons) wonder how can you make Rochester ''ever-cooler?'' (max 250 words)

Looking out the window of her room, the little girl started to wonder if the sky was really blue. Because it seemed to her, that at different moments, it looked green, and other times, even blushed in different shades of purple and pink. She wondered why others would call it a "blue sky" when the description, unjustly so, overlooked the variety of other colors that decorated the sky as well.

Time passed and the little girl became not so little anymore. And along the way, she had learned about the many things that made this world a wonderful place. She became best friends with a Maori and learned English in New Zealand. She developed a love for Chinese people and eating mixian (rice noodles) with them after church. She learned to balance her Korean ideal of "bbali-bbali" (quickly, quickly) and the importance to be "jai-yen" (calm) by the Thai people. She realized, by living in many cultures, that the world was beautifully colorful because of the differences it encompassed.

And she never wanted to go back to when she thought the sky was only blue. She found a desire to share this truth to those around her as well, wherever she went. And whether her future destination was urban or rural, foreign or familiar, hot or cold, she knew her passion for cultural communication would make the place "ever-cooler."

Any comments on grammar, sentence structure, flow, organization, etc. will be appreciated.
Especially if you think I answered the prompt about how I could make Rochester "ever-cooler" (I am hoping to exude an image of someone passionate about facilitating positive global communication....)

Undergraduate / COMMON APP TRANSFER: A Little Girl Taught Me How to Communicate [3]

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. (250-650 words)

"Thank you fore beng my freind." On the carefully hand-written farewell card, two stick figures were holding hands; "Nim" and "Sol Bee" were written on top of their disproportionally big heads.

As a high school student in Thailand, I was able to volunteer as Nim's "buddy" for three years at Agape Home, an orphanage for HIV positive children. Nim barely spoke English, and I barely spoke Thai; lacking a common language, we used everything else- body motions, facial expressions, and even weird expressive sounds-to converse with one another. During those three years, she felt my love, and I felt her gratitude.

Through my relationship with Nim, I learned the importance of the desire to communicate, more so than the method of communication. I realized that communication is not just a one-way bombardment of information, but rather, a shared experience that entails mutual understanding.

At university, I continued to realize the powerful potential of shared communication, whether for writing essays, making a speech, or even forming and maintaining relationships. I enjoyed courses that focused on debating and analyzing current issues - learning about "why we do what we do" in cultural contexts was fascinating.

As my interest slowly shifted from fine arts to communications, I became involved with global NGO Liberty in North Korea. Wanting to share the true story of North Korea to my friends, I invited LiNK representatives to speak at our university. I immediately took to promoting by posting on social media, spreading posters all across campus, and setting an information table to attract students. I remember painstakingly placing hundreds of flyers into individual student and faculty mailboxes, with the hopes that one more person would be reached.

One month later, my heart surged with delight to see over 50 students and faculty sitting in the room, attentively listening to the story of my divided neighbors, the North Korean people. The presentation finally came to a close, and as excited students left the room with a newfound perception about North Korea, I left with a newfound goal in life: to dedicate my education to help people who are persecuted, powerless, and in need of help.

And serving as LiNK's President at our university, I experienced the powerful potential of various communication tools to raise awareness, change perspectives, and rouse people to action. I also learned that understanding the audience is key to effective communication. Hence, I am looking for institutions with a strong interdisciplinary communication studies program that push students to think critically and analytically. My desire is to study with a focus in cultural communications and media studies to better prepare myself for a rapidly globalizing and technologically advancing world. I also wish to learn and explore beyond the confines of a classroom. Hence, I am looking for institutions that have local as well as international connections that will open wide doors for research and internship opportunities.

Ultimately, I wish to learn at a place where I can stretch my brain-where students from around the globe learn and grow together, and world-class faculty foster students to look beyond the limits within their walls. I believe that the bigger the pond, the more I will learn, and the more prepared I will be of bettering this world through communicative methods.

As I remember Nim, I want to thank her for being my friend. Even though she was scarred physically as well as emotionally, she slowly, but willingly, opened her heart to me. As I go out into the world, I know some may lack the desire to listen; but I have a passion-to communicate an important message-and I will struggle, fight, and push on to make known the atrocities that are overlooked and the voices that need to be heard, with the hope that step-by-step, this world will become a better place.

Please give positive critique on anything-- grammar, organization, flow, creativity, effectiveness, etc.-- that could improve.

Writing Feedback / Multiculturalism ; Accepting more cultures [8]

This is for my English class. I have to talk about my -ism, or a belief, that describes or is a part of me.
Please help me with
GRAMMAR
the BOLDED sentences (sentence structure)
and ANYTHING else (flow, coherence, clarity, etc.)

Thank you so much!!!

Sister. Daughter.Friend.These words carry different meanings, yet they are all part of who I am. Each word reflects my role in relation to someone else- I am a sister to my brother, a daughter to my parents, and a friend to a friend. I cannot identify myself solely with one position, but rather, I connect with all of them. As such, I connect with multiple cultures- the Korean, Chinese, Thai, and Western- and they all help define me as an individual. Although I was born and raised in a Korean family, I left my country even before I had learned the alphabets of my mother language. After that, I was on a constant journey in which I was exposed to one culture and then the next. Through living in various societies and accepting their values, I developed multiculturalism: identifying with and belonging to multiple cultures.

Multiculturalism can be developed when the individual is exposed to different cultures throughout his or her life.More specifically, multiculturalism is developed when the individual decides to accept more than one culture surrounding him or her. Without a doubt, I developed multiculturalism as I have lived in four countries over the course of my life and learned to love and embrace those four completely unique cultures.First of all, I identify with my Korean heritage and culture as I was brought up in a family that taught values, ate food, and spoke a language that was Korean. Through being a part of the Korean community wherever I went, I learned how to respect my elders, love my Kim-chi, and sing popular K-pop songs. When I was only six, though, I moved to New Zealand and become so absorbed in the culture that I was once called a "Kiwi"; I was given this nickname also because of my Kiwi accent and developed a love for the fruit.After enjoying the company of sheep, cows, and the wide green fields of New Zealand for two years, I followed my parents yet to another place- our mission field, China.To survive in the midst of this large population that shoved, yelled, and cut in line, I had to become accustomed and adjust to the boisterous and rowdy manners of the society. After living for a few years in China, I found myself pushing and shoving through a herd of people trying to get on the morning bus.Then when I felt that I had finally started accepting China as my home, I set off to Thailand for high school with hopes for a better Christian education. While living amongst the Thai people, it was surprising to see how they were very quite, polite, and respectful to each other as well as foreigners. Through observing the manners of the Thai people, I learned to lower my voice in public, respect the Thai king, or enjoy delicious traditional foods such as rice noodles. Whether it was Thai, Chinese, New Zealand, or Korean,I developed multiculturalism as I observed, and eventually absorbed, the culture around me by accepting the people, place, and their customs and values into my heart.

As my multiculturalism was developed, I began to see its effects on me internally and externally. My multiculturalism can be internal, when it is unseen, and external, when the aspect is clearly exposed to others.Internal multiculturalism usually takes the form of an inner struggle as I try to make sense of the conflicting values I hold onto. For example, I tend to become nervous when I am around elders in Korea because I want to be polite but do not always know how to. Since I was schooled in a relatively western environment, I was used to being much more familiar and intimate with those who were older than me. I could say "you" or wave my hand to say hi to my American teachers, while I need to use terms and show actions of respect when addressing elders in Korea. My exposure to both cultures with different values causes me to deliberate on what is right or wrong in different contexts. The other form, external multiculturalism, is displayed when it is clearly shown to others that I identify with many cultures. The fact that I can speak three languages relatively fluently is an illustration of external multiculturalism. Language is an integral part of any culture because it reflects the values of the society it represents. Korea and China, as hierarchical societies in that they use respectful terms to elders, have specific words to express those who are older than them; whereas the United States, with an egalitarian culture, does not address older siblings as "older brother" or "older sister," but as "you." My ability to speak and understand the significance of the Korean, Chinese, or English language shows that I connect to those cultures to a certain extent.

Along with the previously mentioned benefit of speaking multiple languages, there are other pros of multiculturalism: having a better understanding of various cultures and being deemed culturally diverse. Drawbacks to multiculturalism include the lacked sense of belonging and the confusion that the values of multiple cultures bring.Through living in many distinct cultures that identify themselves in unique ways, I have learned to be flexible with my perceptions and values. For example, while I learned to adjust to the unruly nature of the Chinese, I also became accustomed to the slow and quiet culture of the Thais. I realized that different cultures valued different aspects in life and learned to accept those values as they were. Because of my acceptance of values from dissimilar cultures, however, I have a hard time trying to figure out what values I must use for each context. For example, when I was in Korea during summer break, I had a farewell dinner with my mother's side of the family. I unintentionally sat where my grandparents called the "best seat," and I was mildly teased for my ignorance. Accustomed to the western ways in which the seating does not matter as much because of its egalitarian nature, I had made a significant mistake in an alternative cultural setting. Another negative aspect of multiculturalism is that I did not live in a certain place long enough for me to feel strong connected to it. Unlike many others, I do not fit in anywhere exclusively and I lack a strong sense of belonging. Although I am and look Korean, I feel foreign in my home country when students my age talk about the latest Korean fashion trend or give an allusion to a popular show in Korea. I will probably never be able to escape my multiculturalism because it has become such an integral part of me. And I do not intend to. I desire to be a multiculturalist who loves Kim-chi, enjoys Thai sticky rice, speaks English, but lived in China for seven years, and is residing in yet another place where she will discover a new and exciting culture.

Scholarship / I Am Not Fully "Korean"- Westmont Cultural Diversity Essay [5]

Please! I will help with your essay as well :)

Cultural Diversity Scholarship Essay
Please describe your ethnic/international/cultural heritage. Include your family history and how your ethnic/cultural background has influenced your values and/or shaped who you are.

When people ask us, "Where are you from?" our family responds, "Korea." But I quietly giggle inside because in my heart, I know that I am not only "Korean." As a missionary kid, I have spent more time outside of my home country than inside. Having left my birthplace at the age of five, I have been inevitably influenced by various cultures. Moving numerous times for my parent's missions has definitely posed challenges- along with moving came heartbreaking goodbyes and fearful hellos. Nevertheless, I thank those challenges for teaching me valuable lessons that I couldn't have learned otherwise.

My parents used to be very Korean. They were raised in typical Kimchi families- demanding, strict, and hardworking. I, under their care, was a budding Kimchi. Then my parents received a call from God. Our family first went to New Zealand, for my parent's missionary training. New Zealand, to my surprise, was very different- there were more people than sheep, the people spoke a confusing language, and moreover, they had mysterious skin, hair, and eye colors. New Zealand literally opened my eyes to a whole new world, as it showed me that there was a bigger world outside of my little hole back in Korea. I started to see the world in different colors, and I progressed from a normal Korean girl to a free-spirited "Kiwi." After two years, my parent's training ended in New Zealand, and our family moved on to China. China, our missions field, provided me with new culture shocks. Unlike the clean streets of New Zealand, where I could walk barefooted to school, Chinese pavements were filled with debris. For a long time, I did not accept China, its people, and its culture into my heart. After a few years though, I realized that China had become a part of me. Chinese people, who in my eyes used to be dirty and unpleasant, became my friends and my family. I became accustomed to the smelly streets and boisterous talk of the Chinese. Now, as I live in Thailand, I miss those times in China- eating junk food with Chinese friends after school, or riding public buses crammed with Chinese people. Recently, our family celebrated the upcoming New Years by eating dumplings with a group of Chinese who had come to Thailand. The place was filled with sounds of loud cheer, talking, and laughter- it felt like home.

Looking back, I feel that the countries and cultures I encountered were my teachers. While New Zealand showed me that there were different people, China helped me to accept and love those people. While New Zealand cultivated my creative and open mind, China stretched and widened my heart to accept other customs. If I had not the opportunity to experience unlike cultures, I would have been a completely different person. If I had stayed in my home country, maybe I would not have the opportunity to respond with a secretive smile when someone asks, "Where are you from?"

Oh! Do you get the tie between the first and last sentence...?
If you read the last sentence and it feels super random then please tell me! Thank you so much :)

Undergraduate / Minority Hill Tribe is One of My Homes/ CALVIN COLLEGE; Christian learning environment [7]

This is URGENT :)
Please check grammar and overall clarity. Thank you SO much!

Please submit a written response to the question below. Your response will be used in scholarship and diversity award selection.
Calvin College seeks students who will thrive in the academic, spiritual and community life at Calvin. With this in mind, how do you see yourself contributing to the Christian learning environment at Calvin? (max 5000 characters)

Four countries, nine schools, and ten "homes". These words can be used to summarize my life as a missionary kid. I have seen, felt, and experienced the world around me through an unusual and adventurous journey. Through the journey, I learned that there was something called cultural differences. I learned that I couldn't fit people into my own mold of values and beliefs. It was only when I realized this that I could open my heart to accept other places as a part of me- my home.

My longest residence was in China. Living in China, I had the opportunity to follow my parents on mission trips to villages of the Akha, a hill tribe minority group of Yunnan Province. I was shocked that the Akha people lived in crudely built bamboo huts and that they could live without basic necessities of my life, such as hot water and the internet. But when I saw the content and peaceful faces of the village people, I realized that those "necessities" were not necessary to them.

To build relationships with the Akha, our family and other missionaries helped the villagers plant rice fields, renovate old houses, and build bathrooms with proper water systems. Although my work was limited to carrying a few bamboos and planting some rice plants, I felt a sense of pleasure in participating in something that would bring joy to others. I will not forget the time an elderly woman held my hand and flashed a wide smile that revealed her uneven, black teeth. My heart swelled with joy from that smile, which seemed to indicate her gratitude for our help. It was through such touching experiences that melted and opened my heart to this initially foreign land of strangers.

Besides China, I also call Korea, New Zealand, and Thailand my homes. They all took a part of who I am now, and each country and the memories I had remain warm in my heart. It is my fervent desire to share my varied and touching experiences with my future colleagues of Calvin College. I also want to inspire students to go out and start their own exciting journey. I want them to experience the joy of learning about other cultures and serving various people. Maybe through my stories, Calvin students will also make those foreign places a part of them- their home.

 

Scholarship / DESCRIBE YOURSELF. B CREATIVE - Trustee's Scholarship Personal Statement [9]

Hi everyone! This was the most challenging essay I had to write. EVER.
Although I am hoping that I won't need to rewrite my essay, if you tell me to, I will, because I really need that scholarship haha

I actually changed my previous essay (Kimchi Kiwi Made in China) to fit this prompt.
It would be GREAT if you could tell me:
1. What impression do you get of me? (What kind of person do you think I am?)
2. Do you think I answered the prompt?
3. Is this good writing and would it be considered appropriate for full tuition scholarship..?
4. Feel free to check grammmar and stuff!

Trustee's Scholarship Personal Statement
Describe yourself in an essay. Include plans following the completion of your education. Be creative.

Essays will be evaluated based on competence in creativity, personal expression, and clarity of thought.

When I was five years old, I left my familiar world of Kimchi, Choco Pie, and Korean candy to be thrown into a world of unpredictable happenings. Since then, I have been constantly challenged by a sequence of moving and adjusting. Such abrupt changes in environment brought confusion and fear, but it also rewarded me with a wealth of experience that molded me into who I am now.

My journey started in New Zealand. Here I was instantly exposed to a very free and wild culture. While children of my age in Korea were already memorizing the multiplication tables, I was busy playing on the trampoline and enjoying strange new dairy products. By living in a place with endless fields of grass, I had the opportunity to freely run around and enjoy the beauty of nature. I still freshly remember running in fields filled with cow dung, watching a cow give birth, and eating freshly picked fruit from trees. New Zealand's abundant flow of nature helped me to cultivate my free and creative spirit.

Receiving a call from God, our family moved to China, where I was inspired me to look beyond my narrow worldview. China showed me that not all people were fortunate enough to live under a roof. The city streets had numerous beggars- some didn't have arms or legs, while some couldn't see or hear. Seeing such people helped me to realize what destitution was, and my willingness to help disadvantaged people grew. Living in China, I also had the opportunity to follow my parents on mission trips to minority villages. I reminisce the time our family and other missionaries helped plant rice fields, renovate old buildings, or build bathrooms for villages. Although the most I did was carry some bricks or plant a few rice plants, I felt a sense of pleasure in participating in something that would bring joy to others. My experiences in China helped me to open my eyes to less privileged people, and gave me a desire to serve for those in need.

After seven years in China, I arrived at my present destination, Thailand. As a senior in high school, I have numerous leadership opportunities this year. As a leader at church and an elementary swim coach at school, I have loved the experience of teaching and serving younger students. Watching students enjoy and learn from my teaching is truly a thrilling experience. I take pleasure in listening to children talk enthusiastically about their day- they seem to wash away my worries with their innocent minds. It is my dream to become an elementary teacher who will not only teach, but also who will be a friend and companion to the students. It is possible that after completing my education, I will enter an international institution to serve missionary kids, or return to be an elementary teacher in Korea.

Being exposed to such diverse cultures and opportunities, I had a great opportunity to learn and grow. It seems as if each country was a teacher in my life- the various cultures taught me valuable lessons that I will never forget. As a prospective college student, I am excited to have the chance to share my imperfect yet meaningful experiences that challenged me to see beyond my narrow worldview. I can proudly tell my colleagues that my life as a wandering youth was definitely worth leaving my delicious Korean snacks.