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Posts by my88626
Joined: Nov 27, 2012
Last Post: Dec 11, 2012
Threads: 8
Posts: 12  
From: China

Displayed posts: 20
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my88626   
Dec 11, 2012
Essays / Entrance fees help museums survive, but prevent people visiting them [2]

Dear all, thanks for your suggestion:)

Many museums charge people for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

There are many museums charge people for admission, while the others open to public for free. In my opinion, whether the museum should charge admission should depend on different situation.

Firstly, not all museums is public property which will funding and supporting from the government. Today we may see many kinds of museums owned and run by private companies, such as Teddy bear museum in South Korea and chocolate museums. Those museums may choose to charge because they have to pay operation fees for the exhibition and gain revenue from admissions. On the other hands, in order to attract people, museums always need to charge their customers not only to survive but to update their exhibitions and collections and make new purchases. We don't expect to hear bad news that some museums face the problems that they have to cut spending by selling paintings, closing galleries and sacking staff.

However, it will have negative impact if museums charge admission for a high price. If people cannot afford to visit museums, they are being excluded from their country's history, art and achievements. Museums which charge high prices for admission are effectively saying that these things are for a rich elite only, not all the people of a country. Some major museums of national importance such as national museum, museum of a city are suggested to open for free, or charge a generous amount fro admission, especially for young teenagers andstudents.

In a summary, museums are always a good media to promote art and culture. Admission fees help museums to survive and get revenue, but also prevent people from gaining their knowledge. It is suggested that the government should consider providing sponsor to the museums to balance their cost and revenue.
my88626   
Dec 9, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, new things or old things? [6]

Dear all, thanks to help me correct my essay.

Topic: Nowadays, people always throw old things away and buy new things, whereas in the past, old things were repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects does the phenomenon lead to?

At the old times, people used to repair old things and used again. With the high speed developing of science and high technology, our life standard has been improved a lot. As a result, people would like to throw old things away as well as buy new things. In my point of view, if people always do like this, it will lead to bad effect to our living environment.

First of all, our life style and idea of consumption have been changed a lot according to the development of society, which I think is the main reason that cause the given phenomenon. Abandoning the old for the new has become a very common practice, just many people like "fast food " and "fast fashion". Instead of repairing old things, people adapt to new things very quickly. On the other hand, we have to pay a lot for the repair fee, it is also not very cost effective compared to buy a new one. What's more, some people would like to compare and afraid to fall behind all the times, they feel "safety" when they have all updated things.

When people buy new mobile phone or ipad, it help them to catch up with the most advanced technology. New cloths also make a person look beautiful and well dressed. Our daily life is being innovated by news things, which make our life more interesting and convenient.

However, new things make our life more attractive and interesting, it bring many negative problems as well. For example, together with the high speed updating and upgrading of goods, it will definitely lead to the waste of resources and environment pollution. As we all know, electronic products are one of the most fast changing products right now. If people buy new mobiles every year, it means that the mobile factory will use more materials. At the same time, people will follow something blindly and lose their reason to buy new things with much more money spent.

To sum up, although new things make our life much better than before, we should not ignore the problem it may occur. People need to have the right ideas of consumption, considering the balance of economic life style and protection of the resources and environment.
my88626   
Dec 8, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing: Similarity of different places. [3]

Thanks for your kindly help!

Topic:In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?

Traveling is a common way that can help people to explore more about the world. However, it is no doubt that globalization make the world looks more and more similar. Without going aboard, we can also have the same life with people from other places . In my view, cultural globalization also bring us cultural assimilation, although we may not prevent this trend of similarity, something that related to local culture and history inside cannot be replaced.

First of all, with the help of globalization, people can get to know variety of cultures much easier than before. We can choose to browse website, watch movies and read books to decrease the time which is spent on travelling. That indeed help to broaden our horizon and prevent the "cultural shock" which happened very often in the old times due to less developed transportation and communication tools.

As a result of massive urban sprawl, our city is becoming crowed with limited space. We may find that all downtown areas around the world are built up with all kinds of skyscrapers,same cafe shops and restaurants. It is quite similar view when people traveled to financial center of Hong Kong, Singapore and Shanghai. Travelers might bdecrease with losing their curiosity and being tired of looking those same scenery all the time.

On the other hand, I don't think that all those similarity bring us advantages. When all the thing are becoming similar with each other, the culture diversity will be destroyed at the same time. Scenery does not only mean what is appear like, but also contain local culture and history. It is a negative influence that some minority cultures may be replaced, even be on the verge of extinction when we develop our modern cities.

In a summary, the similarities are an inevitable outcome of modernization and cultural globalization. It indeed bring people closer, it have a potential threat to our local culture. Therefore,it is suggested that we should consider a balance between city development and cultural preservation.
my88626   
Dec 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, Will letter writing disappear? [3]

With the increasing use of mobile phone and computer, the number of people who write letter has decreased. As a result, letter writing will disappear soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Today, communication between people become easier than before, people usually use mobile phone or computer instead of writing traditional letters to contact each others. It is said letter writing will diappear soon. In my opinion, modern ways of communicating have indeed resulted in a decline in letter writing, but I believe it will not completely disappear.

With the innovation of information technology, we have serveral kinds of communication tools including E-mails, blogs, Skype and instant messaging, it is no doubt that has been delivered much faster, quicker and more efficient. However, I should point out that the modern communication tools have a substantial negative impact on letter writing. People prefer to take a phone call and short message rather wait for the letters, in order to get instant feedback as soon as possible. As can be seen, people are getting impatient to wait for any information than in the old time.

As a traditional way of communication, letter writing played an important role in the developing of communication, there is something to be said if it disappear. Letter writing is a careful process to share our though and emotion to the others. When people hold a pen and write to friend or family member, it include a thoughtful remembrance and a declaration of love, which cannot be replaced by those digital information. Furthermore, writing emails by computer also needs the skills of letter writing, we may see there are still many courses focus on email writing skills.

To sum up, the increasing use of mobile phones and computers to exchange messages will threaten the popularity of writing letters, but the traditional skill of letter writing would never disappear if the formal writing skill will be taught properly.
my88626   
Dec 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, should all children's leisure activities be educational? [2]

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational; otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree??

Today, many parents want their children's leisure activities to have educational component, while their kids may just want to play during their leisure time. I disagree with this philosophy of education. There are several categories of leisure activities which can both match the parent's expectations, so children can enjoy with fun.

Education does not only means attending courses and finish assignments at school, it's quite important for children to devote sufficient time for the overall personality development. For example, attending some sports activities like basketball and soccer can provide a host of benefits including physical activity, new friends and sense of teamwork. Children will gain personal rewards as well as learning new skills. Parents can bring their kids to some music concert or art museum, kids who learn how to appreciate art can improve their artistic taste and life quality in the future. What's more, playing some games which suitable to children also practice their reaction force and sensitivity. One of the most popular game named "Sodoku" can practice children's logical thinking as well as enjoy the funny game.

Overall, children can learn important social skills by taking part in different kinds leisure activities. It's also a good chance for them to cultivate their interest for a long term.
my88626   
Dec 2, 2012
Writing Feedback / Modern cooking offers convenient solutions for preparing food [11]

I known I still weak my English much. So your critizine will help me better

I known know I still weak my English much. So your critizine will help me better.

At the present time, preparing food is more easier than in the former time.

At the present time, preparing food is more easier than in the former time.

There are some aspects was agrued that buying instant food,

There are some aspects waswere agrued that buying instant food.

I will have more input later, I think you'd better review your essay, check some grammatical mistakes like the usage of "is/are" and clarify some words whether it should be add "s".
my88626   
Dec 2, 2012
Undergraduate / My Father, My Hero - Personal Essay [7]

Unlike my mother, my father took on double amounts of work but he was still there to steer me in the right direction. He has always told me that no matter how hard your day may seem it will always get better if you think positive.
My dad would stay up all night just to help me with school work, when I couldn't understand he wouldn't let me give up. I would try and try and continuously fail because I wouldn't set my mind to something.

I think you can delete the beginning " Unlike my mother" cause it's not necessary to compare them in your essay.
my88626   
Dec 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, gap year between high school and university [2]

Dear all, thanks very much for your help:)

Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work and travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Today, a word "gap year" is very popular among young generation, it means we take time out to travel between different life stages, thousand of people are taking gap years all over the world. There are some young people who decide to do this gap between entering high school and starting their university life. I would like to discuss the advantages and disadvantages for their reference.

Travelling is one of the best ways to see the world and gain your life experience, it's about living life to the full and realising that there is a world of opportunities waiting to be explored. Being a backpacker who is traveling to other countries, you may have chance to touch with people from different background and make friends with them.What's more, some students may feel they are not well-prepared for their unviersity life, travelling encourage student to consider a year before they step in a new life, practise their indenpent living skills and even knowing what is exactly their interest and life goals.

On the other side, there will be some disadvantages if choose travelling for your gap year. When back to university life, some people may feel it's harder to focus on study again in terms of education having had one year out. Some may feel they are behind all their classmates who do go on to university. Extremely, some people may decide not to goto university, it tis not necessarily a bad thing but certainly a consierable change of perspective and future.

In a conclusion, I would like to support young people to have their gap year between high school and university based on above discussion. They can gain experience and enrich their life before entering a new life stage.
my88626   
Nov 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, teenagers should encouraged to do unpaid community work [3]

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit the teenagers and the community as well. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion.

Participating in some community job is becoming popular among young generation. Teenagers can learn about others and meet a lot of interesting people by volunteering. I agree with this idea that we should encourage them to join in such community organization.

First of all, being a volunteer in community brings teenagers an opportunity to know about their living enviroment and get to know their neighbors. For example, they may required to organized some community activites to promote the communication between neighbors, teenagers learn about how to organize an activity or organization. Hence, someone may get involved in the programs related to homeless shelter, where helps homeless people with meals and beds. Teenagers can learn more about the problem of homelessness and way they can help them, as well as gain perspective on life by helping people in need.

From the side of community, it will benefit from those young volunteers as well. Teenagers always have fresh idea and courage, those activities organized by teenagers should be much more attractive and vivid. Some community may face the problem of labor shortage of their public service like hospitals or libraries, with the help of teenager volunteers, the problem will be solved.

In a summary, I have the opinion that teenagers should be given more chance to do unpaid community work based on my above argument. It is the best way that teenagers can enhance their sense of responsibilities, knowing how to help others as well as help themselves.
my88626   
Nov 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / Differences between the traditional family and the modern one. [5]

ththnho_tl

Family patterns are changing markedly over the time. It is clear that modern family has many changes and differences in comparison with the traditional one. This paper will discuss the differences between the traditional family and the modern one.

"changes" seems not quite suitable:)
my88626   
Nov 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, technolgy and traditional ways [3]

Thank you Dumi!
I have the same feeling that I am lack of vocabulary when I write essays, even though I know lots of them, I cannot remind and apply to writing task.

Thank you:)
my88626   
Nov 29, 2012
Faq, Help / Question about EssayForum - How does this site work? [103]

Same with you, even worse..
Feel like lack of ideas and phrases when writing essays, sometimes feel disappinted that I even worse than before, I mean in high school T-T
my88626   
Nov 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay, technolgy and traditional ways [3]

Hello everybody, thanks to help me revise my IELTS essay, I need to get 6 in writing test.

When country develops its technology, the traditional skills and way of life die out. agree or disagree?

Technology are growing very fast in the modern world, technological equipment is widely used in our daily life. In this fast changing environment, someone may think it's no longer necessary to keep traditional skills alive. I disagree with the idea.

Although technology make our life fell more convenient, we have become totally reply on it. When doing some math problems, people use calculator and computer instead of our own brain, result can be worked out automatically, at the same time, we use our mind to think and judge much lesser than before. Also, some of the courses and degrees can be taught by using online teaching system, while it save much time to attend the classes, both teachers and students lose the opportunity to discuss face to face, which have negative impact on our communication skills. Furthermore, the trend is that plenty of jobs in the factory are easily replaced by machine, pushing many workers to pick up new knowledge, otherwise they will lose their jobs.

Traditional ways represent not only a country, but also a culture and history, it should be preserved and kept for our young generation. Interestingly, Technology can be fully used to preserve the traditional culture. For instance, Google released their online museum project which show you hundreds of famous museums and their most valued arts around the world. By clicking your mouse you will see a very clear and high quality scan of painting.

In a summary, technology is our best friend, we should keep our traditional skills as well. When we enjoying the better life technology bring us, we need to protect our culture foundation as well.
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