Writing Feedback / IELTS: Children spend long time studying in school. What are the effects? [9]

I'm prepare for the IELTS in 18th. May. Exhausted and nervous. Help me with my essay~ Thanks a lot! Looking for your commentsïź

Task 2: Children spend long time studying in school and after school. What are the positive and negative effects on children and society they live in?

More and more kids are engaged in countless classes in school and after school. As this phenomenon is on an upward trend, the discussion over it also becomes hotter and hotter. And it mostly focuses on whether it can bring positive or negative impacts on the development of both children and society.

It is quite evident that certain academic trainings lead to better academic performance, which hleps children get higher educated qualifications. It is all konwn that academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career. In addition, continuous academic trainings form the basis of students' critical thinking and rigorous scientific attitudes in the future. And this well-trained students are likely to become leading figures or pioneers in thier study feilds. Therefore, it is admitted that long-time study has positive influence on our community to some extent.

However, opponents including me argue that the aims of education should not be restricted to the development of knowledge or skill. Instead, educators should ensure that today's students will become productive and well-adjusted adults of tomorrow. That is to say, parents and educators should pay attention to both students' academic attainment and mental status.

In terms of measures to this problem, to let children take active part in extra-curricular activities is an advisable way. Because this kind of activities offers studends an outlet of creativity and problem-solving. These two charactristics have a siginificant impact on children's lifelong development. And these are exactly the kind of talents that our society are looking for, as they are superior to those who focus on study only in handling complex situations.

In conclusion,personally speaking, academic training is irreplaceable in children's development. There is no substitue for after-school activities neither. To find a middle position between these two factors is an ideal approach, which will result in students' less time expense but better academic performance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2:Whether without satisfying career, the life is meaningless? [4]

Hey guys!
I am preparing for the IELTS.
I got some questions in finishing this task:
1. Grammar is a big problem to me. I'm not sure whether did I use English in a proper way.
2. I cannot think out more supportive ideas related to MY essay. Is the ideas my essay right? OR could you share some brilliant ideas with me?

Thanks a lot!

TASK 2:THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF PEOPLE'S LIFE IS HIS/HER WORK. WITHOUT SATISFYING CAREER, THE LIFE IS MEANINGLESS.
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Recently, a popular saying goes that getting a promising career is the core of life. However, from my point of view, I can't agree with this opinion. I think the meaning of life goes far more than a satisfying job.

It is not sensible to classify all human beings into one category, because different people have different ideas about life. For instance, the most meaningful achievement of a working mother might not be her job but the happiness and health of her baby. She would rather lose her career than miss any moment in her baby's life.

Morever, on the surface, it is generally agreed that working is equal to making contributions to the society. However, on the deeper level, they are not the same at all. Because there are a lot of people who do not have satisfying careers still working hard and helping others. Mother Teresa is a good example confiming this statement. Being a nun may not be an ideal job in most people's eyes. But what Mother Teresa has done really makes her life meaningful and has positive influence on the community as well.

Personally speaking, everyone has his or her own standard about what a meaningful life is. Hence, it is useless for people to judge others according to their own criterions. No matter what a rewarding life is in different individuals' mind, it deserves hardwork and continuos chase.

To conclude, various people have various opinions on life. Those arguing that satisfying career is the highest meaning of life are just a small part of the whole. It is better to live a worthy life rather than figure out which is more meaningful.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 ; Are talents inborn or trained? [5]

Hello guys! I am preparing for the IELTS. Looking for your comments! Thanks a lot!

Task 2: It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

"Piano-learning Hot" swept all over China just as soon as Chinese pianist Langlang became well-known all over the world. Parents in China got crazy about taking their children to attend some skills-teaching classes, such as music, art or sport, hoping their kids to become the next Langlang or Yao. However, the question is whether it is so ideal that we can ignore individuals' natutral talent when it comes to being really good in certain feilds.

Numerous people stand for it because there are a lot of successful examples that people became masters of some areas with the help of continued training and duided practice rather than innate talent. Here too, Langlang is such a perfect instance supporting this statement. He admitted that he was not that talented and it was his father's nearly cruel teaching methods and his hard-work that contributed to his success. Besides Langlang, it is easy to figure out plenty of examples as well.

On the other hand,other people declare that once a person was born, his destiny was already decided. That is to say, people will develop according to their talent no matter what was done postnatally. Van Gogh, Bach and many other figures in history can support for this. Although they were not well-educated at their times, they still became masters in their territories.

I personally think that, some people do have talent that are probably inherited via genes. Such talent can give individuals facility for certain skills that allow them to excel. That is something extremely difficult for average people to achieve. But, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive. Successful people in certain areas have probably succeed because of both continuous training and inborn talent. Without natural talent, training and personal efforts would be neither arractive nor productive, and without the training, people would not know how to exploit and develop their talent.

To conclud, I agree that children can be taught particular skills, however, to be really good at something, then some talent is required.

Writing Feedback / Ielst Task 1; Describe a bar chart on trends of International and UK students [3]

Hi! I'm not sure whether I have caught the point or not. Help me! Thanks!

The bar chart shows the difference in the percentage of international and UK students who gained second class degrees or better at a main Britain university in 2009. Majors compared in the graph consisted of nursing, elecrtical engineering, information techonoogy, English literature, art history, accountancy, international law and sociology.

There were three main features according to this chart. First of all. majors that international students performed as well as the local students. They were nursing and accountancy. The second feature was that the majors of which the percentage of international students exceeded that of UK students, namely, English literature, art history, international law and sociology. The last feature, apparently, was the majors whose percentage of local students surpassed the international students'. These majors included electrical engineering and information technology.

As we can see from the graph, most international students did better in the science and engineering subjects but worse in arts than UK students.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Whether convenience foods can take place of traditional foods? [5]

LOOKING FOR YOUR COMMENTS! THANK YOU!

TASK 2: Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods/ methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion.

Nowadays, people are so busy making livings that they wish to have one more hour to spend every day. Hence, they are trying to cut every unecessary expenditure of time. On this occasion, some people argue that convenience foods, which can be carried or cooked easily are getting increasingly popular. As a result, traditional foods and their preparation methods could be replaced by convenience foods. However, it is hard for me to agree with this opinion.

First of all, I have to claim that the mentioned statement has reached my limits on living. Food by no means is simply functioned to satisfy people's hunger. It is rather a representative of live attitude. For instance, when I am eating something, I would like to feel the feelings brought by foods and taste the chefs' delicate ideas about foods. In contrast, most people who eat convenice foods have only one aim --- convenience. In addition, meal time is a precious even the only chance for a family to get together and catch up with each other. This is an indispensable role, which convenience foods cannot serve as.What's more, conventional methods of food preparation are unique in various cultures, which could never be ignored. Thus, inheriting catering culture from generation to generation is an obligation to mankind.

Last but not least, convenience foods often refer to foods that can be preserved for a long time. It is a common sense that this kind of food is processed by chemical additives, which do harm to health. As a consequence, eating convenience foods as a habit is not a sensible choice in the long run.

In conclusion, although convenience foods do save time and make life easier to some extent, the unique features of conventional foods make themselves essential in our lives. Therefore, convenience foods and traditional foods will exist simultaneously and cannot replace each other.

Writing Feedback / Ielts - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services and economy [4]

TASK 1: The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart presents the economic portions that agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services own in the year of 1900,1950, 1975 and 2000 respectively in Britain. The figures were shown in the percentage form.

It can be seen from the bar chart that there are two basic trends: downward and upward. As regards the first, the share for the agriculture and manufacturing dropped in varying pace from approximately 50% and 46% in 1990 to 2% and 18% in 2000 separately. By contrast, there was a gradual increase in the percentage of business and financial services sector, which saw a net growth amounted to around 34% in 20th century. More specifically, in 1900, agriculture contributed the largest portion to the UK economy. After going through a considerable decrease, it turned into the least contributor in 1975 and this position had been kept for the next 25 years. Meanwhile, business and financial services developed amazingly. As a result, in 2000, it owned the largest share to the Britain economy followed by manufacturing, which was in the second place.

It can be predicted that the portion of business and financial services will continue to rise while the other two continue to drop and level off at a comparatively low degree.

T.T I'm afraid that there are lots of grammatical mistakes...I don't know how to make comparison on this task.
I failed to upload the picture.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS;Some people are born challenge-takers while others prefer lives without change [6]

TASK 2: PEOPLE NATURALLY RESIST MAKING CHANGES IN THEIR LIVES. WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS CAN THIS CAUSE? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

Some people are born challenge-takers and they get excited while facing change. On the other hand, others prefer lives without change. Once they set on a certain living pace, they will be afraid of making changes. It is hard to tell right from wrong on this issue as they both have their advantages and disadvantages. However, one thing is certain that resisting making changes slips countless pleasure in our lives.

People who resist making changes in their lives argue that changes might trigger uncessary anxiety. For instance, changing a job might not only forces people to adopt to the related stuff but also strange situations and culture. It does take time for people to get through these tasks. However, it is undeniable that numerous achievements are products of changes. Take myself for example, I cherish changes, which could bring me new friends, opportunities and many other delightful things beyond my imagination. Without changes, peopleare likely to miss plenty of refreshing movements in their lives, such as an encounter with true love, an idea that might inspire you, etc.

Although people have the freedom to choose their living styles no matter they are challenging or peaceful, it is advisable for all of us to have a positive attitude towards changes. Education is an ideal solution to this problem. First of all, students should be encouraged to use lateral thinking at school. By doing this, students could learn the fact that "world keeps changing" deeply. In spite of this, teachers are supposed to give students proper guidance on how to tackle changes. As a result, students will get used to changes at an early age. And when they grow up, they will regard changes as a "must" in their lives and perform smoothly.

In conclusion, even though changes could trouble people sometimes, life tends to be much more disappointing without changes. After all, no one get the chance to live twice. If people could get used to changes earlier, they could go through changs sucessfully and even enjoy them.

Writing Feedback / IELTS- People resist changes in their lives/ problems they can cause & solutions [3]

TASK 2: PEOPLE NATURALLY RESIST MAKING CHANGES IN THEIR LIVES. WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS CAN THIS CAUSE? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

It seems that our human beings are born with a nature that avoids risk. That is to say, most people tend to live a peaceful and well-planned life. It is no doubt that having such life style does bring benefits to people. However, it is impossible to ignore the drawbacks brought by it, which are more crucial to our lives.

It can be started for the sake of any individual. The passion of life can be consumed by the plain life and the eyesight can be limited provided that a man choose to live a life without change. Furthermore, take the Qing Dynasty for example, the decisive reason that caused the decline of such a powerful empire was the governor's turning a blind eye to the rapid changes taking place overseas and persisting in the conventional thoughts. As a result, the walls of Qing Dynasty were pushed down by the weapons she had never seen before. Thus , it is sensible for people to accpet changes or challenges towardly. There are countless solutions to make up this natural instinct but one of the most fundamental ways is to change people's attitude towards change, which depends on education heavily. Schools could show the updated changes happening all over the world to students in order to broaden their horizon. What is more, it is also advisable that schools encourage students to take challenges and give them the necessary direction. By doing this, people are able to form a habit that is positive to changes.