Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Agree/Disagree? - Secure job with low pay or job with high pay but easy to lose [4]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? it is better to take a secure job with a low pay than to take a job with a high pay but easy to lose?

Thanks a looooooot for your advice~~they can be extremely helpful for me!!!

Nowadays, people are trying their best to chase the pace of the time, to find jobs with high salary. They do that just for compensating soaring living expense or earing a decent lifestyle. However, from my perspective, a low-paid but secure job is better for us because doing this kind of job can spare more time for our families and it also assures a more prospective career.

First of all, a low-paid but secure job contributes to a grateful family relationship considerably. Obviously, lower payment means less working time, which in turn means that employees could have more time to spend with their families and therefore bond them with their families more tightly. On the contrary, working overtime has an extremely negative impact on family relationships. Take my uncle Zhang as an instance, he is a chief executive of an insurance company and is guaranteed with high payment. Meanwhile, working overtime is a regular thing for him. In view of the fierce competition in my uncle's company, his wife even has to worry about him being dismissed everyday. As for my uncle, he always works very hard in order to earn a decent life at the expense of ignoring his own family and curtailing the time with his family. Worser, last year he even did not accompany his family for just one vacation such as a summer camp. As a result, his wife divorced with him. He ends up being unsatisfactory with his own conditions and has no one to share with his sense of fulfillment from work.

Secondly, a low-paid but constant job benefits one's prospective career greatly. It is true that more time in one company, more opportunities one would have to earn a promotion. My older sister, Li, starting from a low position, has been working for a small manufacture company for over 5 years. During this period, she successfully gets a promotion to be a project manager in this company and absorbs lots of professional knowledge constantly about her field, which could probably make her being promoted even further! Granted, she may not earn as much money as a manager does in a big company. However, at least she could earn her salary constantly and does not have to worry about getting fired when she wakes up at every morning.

Admittedly, a high-paid job can prepare one's future life more efficiently and an employee with this kind of job has easier access to big houses and famous cars. Furthermore, young man, full of vigor, possesses excessive energy to spend on their jobs. Nevertheless, everyone must grow old. When people are 40 or 45 years old, they will have exhausted their excessive energy. Hence, they can not catch up with the recent trend and update their obsolete knowledge system.In this case, they would worry about losing their jobs everyday and someone even suffers from some mental illness such as depression. Furthermore, the huge pressure of high-paid jobs perhaps hurt employee's health badly and more severely, shorten their lifespan. It is sad that people have money but do not have time to spent it.

In conclusion. A high-paid but unscure job is not suitable for everyone especially the old ones. In contrast, a low-paid but secure job is able to meet most people's needs since it can link people with their families more tightly and assure a more promising career.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]Agree or disagree: The telephone has greater influence on people's lives than TV [4]

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with this statement: The telephone has greater influence on people's lives than televsion has.

Thanks a lot for your advices in advance~~~~~~

With the fast rolling of modern society, TV and telephones have made tremendous development through this process. Some people spend most of their time watching TV and therefore claim that the TV has influenced people's life more than telephone does. Nevertheless, from my point of view, telephone actually influences people's lives more deeply since it helps connect people more closely and raise the company's productivity.

First of all, a complex and sophisticated social network, an essential ingredient of people's lives, is built with the assistance of telephones. As we all know, telephone is the most common communicative tools that people use. Friends or relatives who live in different continents are able to get in touch with each other through a tiny telephone line. My cousin went to Spinash to continue her further study. In the past, I could not be able to talk to my cousin in view of such a long distance between us. However, nowadays at the mercy of the telephone, she can share her study experience and feeling about delicious food in Spinash with me at anytime and I can also know about whether she is accustomed to the life abroad. Obviously, telephone helps people connect others more closely.

In addition, telephone is an extremely essential tool of work, and using telephone increase the productivity considerably. For example, employees and employers depend on telephone while working. when supervisors want their employees to finish some kind of assignment, they have to inform them by calling and When officials introduce their company's products to their potential clients, they have to reach out them by telephone. Also, In modern days there are increasing number of meetings that are held by communicating through telephone. All of these effects assist in improving company's productivity immensely.

Admittedly, TV shows people with a fascinating world using a variety of pictures. Some programs can also represent all aspects of this world to their audiences. Nevertheless, TV is, more often than not, just an entertainment equipment and has nothing to do with the advancement of social interconnection or efficiency. Even for the effect of entertainment, people can just call the ticket offices of airports to book an airport ticket and then travel around the world to see the all aspects of this world with their naked eyes, which is more enlightening and attractive than just seeing things in TV programs.

In conclusion, telephone has more effect on people's lives than TV does.

Writing Feedback / Agree or disagree? it is essential to have ability to plan and organize(TOEFL) [6]

Do oyu agree or disagree with the following statement? As modern life becomes more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Please give me some feedbacks ~~ Thanks in advance!!

With the fast rolling wheels of modern society, life becomes more complex and is not easy to handle than in the past.Therefore, it is essential for people, especially young ones, to possess the ability to plan and organize since it can improve the efficiency and reduce the crisis of our actions. Meanwhile, eliminating meaningless actions.

First of all, great planning and organizing ability is able to cause our actions more efficient and productive. Take myself as an example, I used to be overwhelmed by the burden of preparing for the final exam, submitting my paper, and finishing my internship work at the end of each term. Yet, in this year, following the sugestion of my roommate, John, I make a to-do list to plan and organize perfectly everything I should get done in the final and hence take every tasks and trivials into control. This plan ability helps me a lot, making me climb to the top rank of the class while finishing everything else.

Equally important, the capacity to plan and organize also help young people to eliminate the crisis in their actions, which may ruin one's whole effort over a very long time. As we all know, the employees in every company have to create profit as much as they can for their supervisors and complete their assignments perfectly. If some employees lack the ability to plan and organize ahead, they may get the procrastination and therefore take into action until the deadline is imminent. However,things have been changing all the time. For instance, the deadline of task is shifted to an eariler date for the change of company's schedule. In this case, those employees who did not plan and finish their assignments ahead of time prehaps are unable to finish these tasks on time and therefore will be penalized or get fired. Every employee can not afford this kind of loss.

Finally, some assert that the ability to plan and organize can be learned until obtaining a job. Thus, it is not need for young people to possess this ability. Nevertheless, this ability is also essential for young people since young people can overcome their bad habits and fulfill their goals more quickly with this ability. As searching information on the internet, young people are probably distracted by other attractions such as online games or social webs. At this circumstances, they would surf on the internet for hours and end up no where. It is obviously a huge waste of time. But if they make their plan in the first place, and then stick to their plans, they could get their work done quickly beyond their imagination.

In this complex society, we, young people, are encompassed with multiple tasks, so the ability to plan and organize is undoubtedly a powerful and sharp weapon that we must be armed with.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] agree or disagree the purpose of television is to educate, not to entertain [7]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? the purpose of television is to educate, not to entertain.

Please give me some feedbacks. Thanks in advancing ~

Nowadays,televsion is becoming more and more essential than in the past and modern people always spend much time watching TV with their families or friends. In this case, some people may assert that TV should be all educative, ticking off all entertainment ingredients. However, In my opinion, television is supposed to have the function both for education and entertainment.

First of all, television is designed for entertainment for it's combination of impressive visual and sound effects. This is why television can attract a multitude of audiences. Moreover, modern people, under the great pressure of the fast pacing society, are urgent to find a vent to release their pressure. Thus, it is imperative to have entertainment activities included in TV programmes. Such as the talk show at every sunday night, it can make audiences laugh and bring happiness to them. when audiences enjoy the show with their families or friends, they would never blame the talk show for lacking educational function.'

In addition, more often than not the educative function and entertaining function are usually hand-in-hand, which means one programme is always educative and entertaining. For instance, as skillfully writing dramas and even comedies series such as "Friends" make audiences laugh, they enable people to think about themselves, about their own lives at the same time. In this case, it is undeniable that TV dramas are multifuncational and not created for only one purpose, education or entertainment.

Admittedly, there are various pure-educational programmes such as documentaries and investigation news that are easy to find on the programme list. They are broadcasted in order to make people learn this world and historical events more deeply and develop a critical thinking skill for audiences. Nevertheless, if the techniques often existed in the entertaining programmes such as stirring visual and vivid narrations are applied in the pure educational programmes, these programmes would definitely keep audiences more engaged.

In conclusion, Television is originally an entertainment media.Education-solely is disregarding the basic function of television. Both educational and entertaining function should exist in televsion programmes at the same time.

Writing Feedback / knowledge consolidating; Teachers should assign homework for students every day [5]

Please give me some advices~I appreciate your help~~

In most of schools of my country, teachers regularly assign homework to their students everyday. Some people may rebutes this since daily homework is a huge burden of students. However, as far as I am concerned, students should do their homework everyday for consolidating their knowledge system, developing a great study habit and for their success in the exams

First of all, the best way to reinforce student's knowledge system is to do homework everyday. Obviously, human brains are not computers, they are not capable of remembering every details taught in classes. But if one student does his homework everyday, accordingly he could review the knowledge points automatically, causing him not neglect these important details. And meanwhile, doing homework everyday could lead students to develop a great study habit, which is useful for students' future life. A great study habit is able to assist students in studying new knowledge more efficiently and accurtely. As we all know, when students step into the real society, they would become a broad range of professional man, such as doctors, teachers, writers or business leaders. Thus it is essential for them to master the professional knowledge in their own fields. If they have developed a great study habit in their early study stage, they can learn new skills more easily and therefore get a promotion more quickly.

In addition, doing homework is crucial for success in exams, especially for those students who are not bright enough. As one of Bryan Tracy books said: "Success comprises of 21 parts." and hard-working is the most important part of them. As for me, I am not a very talented guy in my high school, but I stick to what my teacher said and do my homework everyday for getting a great score in exam. Finally I made it, I passed the College Entrance Examination with a high score and entered my dream university. Meanwhile, for those who are talented in study, if they are not hard-working and not doing their homework everyday, they would have no chance to present their talents, fail the exams and end up no where.

Admittedly, it is also important for students to exercise everyday, to enjoy the beauty of nature and to appreciate the arts. Doing homework should not be the only thing that a student would do in one day. In conclusion, as long as students split their time reasonably, they could do their homework efficiently and meanwhile enjoy their spare time, which experience would benefit students a lot.

Writing Feedback / Agree or disagree : Younger school children should study art and music (TOEFL) [4]

The complete titile is "Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Younger school children (aged five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, language, science and history. "

Thanks a lot for your revise suggestion, I would work on it~

Undoubtedly, math, language, science and history are all extremely important subjects in student's education since these subjects provide students the basic understanding of the world. Therefore, some people assert that there is no need to learn other subjects for younger students. Nevertheless, the art and music, from my point of view, are also essential for younger student's future life because those subjects help students learn this planet from another perspective and they can release people from the enormous pressure nowadays. In this case, I would definitely agree that the art and music should be required to study.

First of all, art and music would broaden student's horzon and therefore make them thoughtful. It is well known that the art and music are not bound by country border, and they are something that is shared by the people from every parts of this world and is symbols of various cultures. Under this circumstance, learning art and music enables students to appreciate the fruits of eminent artists and musicians and to feel the fascination of different cultures. For instance, students are able to feel the greatest music masterpiece in Euopren as the symphony of destiny-Beethoven's most notable workpiece is played.

In addition, studying art and music is also the appropriate outlets of stress and superveb ways to relax. Obviously, with the improvement of life rhythm,people have currently suffered too much pressure from their studys or jobs, and these pressure are likely to destroy one person if he cannot find a way to emancipate himself. Art and music are, of course most accessible tools for modern people to liberate themself from the extremely stressful life. When enjoying one piece of brilliant paintings, such as the Mona Lisa, people would put all their pressure down on the ground and just think about what the most proficient and mysterious smile in this world stands for. At this moment, they would totally involve in the ocean of art and their stressful nervous would be relieved. Apparently, this sense towards art is built on the initial study on the art.

Admittedly, the study of art and music is supposed to rely on younger student's own interest. The education of art and music would not work if students resist it. Thus, the school should replace some basic science class with some art and music class in order to clutivate student's interest of art without adding extra study pressure.

In a nutshell, in the modern society,since understanding of the lengthen and depth of the world is important and meanwhile people have burdened excessive pressure, younger students' art and music education should not take the second place.

Writing Feedback / Children should only play sports for fun, not in competitions or contests.(TOEFL) [12]

Please give me some writing feedbacks, I appreciate this!!

Sports are a great way to have fun and stay active. Kids have a lot of choices about which sports to do and whether to compete in sports or just play it for fun. Obviously, some children would choose to compete in sports. Nevertheless, from my point of view, If the child is not a sport talent, I would definitely suggest him or her playing sports just for fun, not in competitions or contests.

First of all, sports competition involves in a multitude of pressure, which children currently have suffered too much. To put it exactly, the greatest sports competition in the world, the Olymipics Games, which a great number of athletes from all over the planet engage in every four years, has drawed too much attention from the people all over the world. In this case,the professional athletes's psychological defense is broken down by the enormous pressure they faced and these athletes give up on their competetions. As we can see, such eminent athletes are unable to undertake the pressure drived from the sports competition, needless to say children.

In addition, playing sports for fun is also less physically demanding and therefore involves much less risk of injury. It is undisputable that children take part in sports just in order to stay fit, so getting injury is obviously not a part of this objective. Take myself for instance, when I was in high school, I 'd like to shoot basketball at the park with my friends. With the improvement of my basketball skills, I choose to attend to my high school basketball team. At first everything is fine, but at one contest against another high school basketball team, I broken my knee. Then I can not even walk on my own! This accident caused me abandoned my studies for months to cure my knees at home.

Admittedly, the success of competition could strengthen the children's faith and reinforce their team work skills, which is helpful for the children's future life to some extent. Whereas parents may become overly in these successes and therefore force their children to engage in more vigorous competition. In these competitions, one failure in one game maybe destroy the children's confidence that has gathered in the previous games.

Having considered all the discussion above, It is essential for children to stay healthy and keep a pleasant mood. Therefore they should play sports just for fun and do not attend any sports competitions.

Writing Feedback / Individuals can do nothing on environmental issues, Agree or disagree?(TOEFL) [7]

I am new here! Please help me review my essay! many thx for you ~

Recently the essential concern about environmental issues has been raised because of the decreasing environmental quality around the world. In this circumstance, some people may claim that the country should contribute to the recovery of the environment but individuals can do nothing about it. Nevertheless, as for me, individuals are also supposed to be responsible for environmental issues.

To begin with, according to an old saying:"the ocean consists of thousands of drops."If everyone in this world engages in the action of environmental protection, a powerful influence on the environment will be built. For instance, the gentleman who used the toilet does not forget to turn the faucet off, the people who walked on a road remember not to throw their trash bag on the street randomly. As discussed above, these are minor things that everyone can do to protect the environment. Obviously, environmental issues themselves are complicated, but what we can do to protect the environment are not complicated at all.

More importantly, at some certain circustmances individual can do something powerful far beyond he thinks he can do. Take the famous Amercian director Richard Barry as an example, as we all know, he is well-known for his masterpiece film "The cove", which is created through his experience in one of the Japan fishing ground. He just slipped into this fishing ground and taked bunchs of photographs and videos to record the cold-blooded conduct of sluggishing the dolphins by Japanese, In order to remember people to protect the valuable animals and our ecological system. And fortunately, he made it. As we can see, individuals are capable of doing something remarkable on our environmental issues.

Admittedly, countries should be more engaged in various environmental protection issues. The kyoto protocol is one of the accomplishment of the cooperation of the developing countries and the developed countries. On the other hand, people, of course ought to take the responisibilities of taking these theory into action, such as those theory in Kyoto Protocal. Only in this way can this world become clean and environmentally sustainable.

Having considered all the discussion above, it is extremely important for individuals to get involved in the environmental issues, even though the governments have reached all kinds of environmental protection protocol.