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Posts by posdream
Joined: Aug 8, 2013
Last Post: Aug 13, 2013
Threads: 4
Posts: 12  
Likes: 5
From: Nigeria

Displayed posts: 16
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posdream   
Aug 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / Has people's interaction changed because of technology? IELTS [5]

Nowadays,the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

________________________________

The world has been through so many changes in recent years. Some of these changes affects us either positively or negatively. One of the major turn-around is the advent of technology. This has affected the way some people relates with each other. However,I strongly agree that these changes are beneficial to us.

Communication is one of the potent aspect of our lives. Decades ago,before the innovations of technological ways of disseminating messages,there were other medium of passing information such as letter writing,post cards and visitings. Nowadays,peoples way of interaction with friends,neighbours and family has changed because they can easily send fax and emails. Old ways of communications are going down little by little. Traditional ways are becoming obsolete and this affects our beliefs,the new generation take it with levity. For example, my childhood friend and I broke up some months back because I never returned her visits and I just send her emails,she felt cheated and accused me of being self centered. I believe she should understand that emails are to keep contacts also but she refused blatantly.

I am sure there are more positive developments in peoples interaction since the advent of technology because it saves us time,money and energy. For instance,someone travelling from one city to another to see a friend or a loved one risks his/her live. Accidents can occur anytime. This can be replaced with a phone call and you are closer. Other developments like video calls,instant messaging and video chats are other means to interact with people. I believe all these changes are positive.

Indeed,there are so many ways technology affects our relationship with people but the positive aspects outweighs the negative aspects.
posdream   
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / Toefl: Treat pets like family members or not? 'it is not a good idea' [7]

...Treating with pets like family member... This is wrong. "Treating a pet as ones family can be uncalled-for".

...Second, pets do not have thinking ability and
learning capability like family members..."Secondly,human reasoning surpasses the animals thinking or learning abilities.

...I have not enough time to do
that..."I have no free time for that"

Your second paragraph is tautologous.

...Third, from the medical aspect, there are
many illnesses that can spread from pets to
the human like various types of leaches. For
example one of my friends died from an
unknown illness from his dog. I do not want to
have the same fate!....

"Thirdly,from the medical perspective,there are many contagious diseases from pets. For example, a friend of mine died recently because contacted a disease from this dog. I do want to have the same fate!"

...In conclusion, treating with pets like family
members can be acceptable by many families
but I think it is not a good idea.

" In conclusion, I do not think its a best idea to treat pet as ones family".

My quota.

Thanks.
posdream   
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Too much noise in public places; Causes and Measures [5]

...Education institutes...we say "educational institutes.
Also you can not look down upon behaviour...you can "shun" it.

...Teach d manner class...could as well be written as. Concentrate more on civics, moral values and etiquettes.

...To resolve this the entities have been mentioned above should work with each other... "To alleviate this menace,the aforementioned departments should work together".

I hope I've been able to point out some of them.

Thanks.
posdream   
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Public Libraries and computer technology [4]

Good essay but your position and stand should be noted at the beginning of your essay.

..."Department store"...we say "departmental store"
Also when you use the word "anyone" it should follow with a singular." anyone is welcome" not anyone are welcome.

Also I feel your answer is more like a "discuss both views and give your opinion" approach.

You should state whether u agree at first and stick to your position. If u agree,continue with the agreement and if otherwise do the same.

I enjoyed the essay.

Thanks.
posdream   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: How to encourage people to use public transport? [3]

People tend to use their own vehicles,cars etc instead of public transports like buses and trains. What do you think government should do to encourage people to use public transport?

=====================================

Public transport is no longer a major means of transportation nowadays. It has been observed that people prefers to use their private vehicles such as cars, trucks to commute instead of using the public transport.

Some people believe that using a general transport meant for the people by the government has so many hassles and because of the long period of queues at terminals and stations,they prefer to use their car which can move almost immediately and arrive at their destinations whenever they want.

Others have complained of comfort in using a public transport, they feel they can be free in their personal vehicles than sitting next to a total stranger in a bus or a train.

Firstly, government should decrease the fares of the public transports. For instance, if a journey of 30 kilometres use to cost $20, government can reduce this fares in form of promos and discounts. This will draw peoples attentions to the public transports.

Also, Buses and trains should be kept clean and well managed in such a way that will attract people. For example, my sister came to visit me from another city some times ago,She boarded a train. I was at the train station to pick her up when i saw her stucked to the door,I moved closely to have a view of what was happening,i saw that her clothe was trapped and we had to cut her clothe before we were able to leave the station. She was so embarrassed and vowed never to take any public transport again. There are so many cases of neatly dressed people entering buses and coming out with a stain or a tough marks on their clothes.All these are turn-offs to people.

Special considerations should be given to the aged,children,the disabled and pregnant women. People in this category should have decrease in their fares. Government should hire trained personnel to cater for this group of people specially. I watched a woman on TV last weekend, she was so old and haggard. She could not even walk straight into the bus,She had to swing her legs before she can maintain her balance.There was no one to help her and she was left at the station because she couldn't move fast to join the bus.

Terminals and stations should be situated closer to residence,Shopping Malls and office for easy access so that people wont have to trek a long distance. Transportation should be made swift and reliable by constructing alternative roads for public transports alone. This will assure the people that it is hassle-free and the issues of traffic jam will be eradicated.
posdream   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / Studying in a group has a lot of advantages that can promote learning process [4]

I love your ideas. However, I spotted some errors also.

*find better solution for problems*... You don't find solution for problems. But "to".
So its better if u wrote. Fine solution to problems.

*i remember ... I feel u can put it this way... I remembered studying with my friends during my last mathematics examination.

Overall, your english is above average.
posdream   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / Compare and contrast: home-cooked food vs fast food [3]

Please try and use comparison adjectives in your work. E.g
While, whereas,meanwhile,also,on the contrary,in contrast etc.
"Lastly" was used twice.
"To put it in a nutshell" -In a nut shell is simple
"Enjoing"- I don't know if u mean enjoy.
posdream   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / Fast food Vs Home-Cooked Food; 'mode of preparation and natural ways of cooking' [6]

Some people think that cooking food at home is a waste of time. They prefer fast food over home cooked food. How much do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that fast foods are better than home cooked foods whereas another group of people feel home cooked food is more advantageous than fast food. However, I strongly agree with the latter statement.

Home cooked food are prepared with great supervision,in an hygenic environment. Kitchens are cleaned virtually everyday to make them germs-fress. On the contrary,fast foods are prepared in an averagely clean surrounding. One might not be too sure how often the cutleries are being washed and dried for further use.

A cafeteria attends to loads of customers in a day,people with different eating etiquettes and contagious diseases. This will be unknown to the attendant. Of course, microorgamisms cannot be seen without the help of a microscope.

Secondly, public food are a lot more expensive than cooking at home. For instance,in my country,a plate of fried rice with chicken in a eatery cost nothing less than £5,meanwhile,this amount can feed a family of three a whole day if they cook their food at home.

In addition,majority of the fast food we consume contains one or two additives to make their food look or taste good. This is because they want customers to have false impression about the foods they prepared. In contrast,home-cooked food does need to look attractive before eating. There are also some methods of preservations used by fast food companies that can be life threatening.

To summarize my points, I believe home cooked food has a lot of benefits than fast food because of the mode of preparation and natural ways of cooking without additives. It also enables one to save in good health.
posdream   
Aug 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL / How teachers can make the subject interesting to students( new)! [5]

Teaching is one of the most significant and impressive careers that a person can make . you can choose a career not making it

Beside the knowledge you teach to your students , Apart from the knowledge you instill in students,you would also tend to play an effective role in his future life . From my experience,having an interested interesting andpassionate teacher could can help the student to be attracted to a special field and can change his life improve in a particular subject which can make his life meaningful. I have experienced the same thing .During my bachelor's degree, one of my university professor thought the subject so fascinating that it interested me, and I chose his major as my master's degree field of work, and it changed my lifestyle. As I would explain further, my experience shown that a teacher can make his students to love or hate his lessons. In my opinion there are some important factors to be a successful teacher.

During my bachelors degree,i had a professor whose teachings fascinated me.He was always explicit in his teachings and this made a life-changing impact on my career,i also chose his subject as a major for my masters degree.This example is just to show the influence of a teacher on the student.

Firstly, I think a passionate teacher would be more successsfu diligent in his duty duties, which istransferring the means impacting his knowledge he knows about a subject into the students mind . It may be the most important factor, because when you are not interested in some thing, you can not help other people to understand it carefully. (sorry i cant get that statement right) For instance, the professor, that I mentioned before, always used to speak so impressive about the subject he was teaching that you would feel that he has gone really through the meanings and take the subject into his real life, which in my opinion was the key point of being a good teacher. Talking about the aforementioned professor for instance, he explains his subject in an impressive manner, relating his day-to-day activities with the topic. This is one of qualities a teacher should have.

Also using innovative methods for teaching would have incredible influence on the students, because all of us know that always new things would attract our attention. Because we are mostly attracted to new things.The teacher could use this characteristic of human beings to help the student to concentrate better on the subject . My be loved beloved professor used such an interesting methods to teach us the boring subjects of "Fluid Mechanics" that not only me, but also all of the students in the class were looking forward through the week for his classes . Once he took us to the laboratory to just answer a simple question of a student, which if it was asked to another professor, he might make joke of his silly question. But he was so calm and eager to teach every simple and basic concept of fluid mechanics that spent an entire session to make it clear that for a fluid flowing inside a channel, the pressure of the coolant in the entrance is higher than the exit. (i don't know if i understand this) this method to teach us ''Fluid Mechanism'' easily making the topic more understandable for us. To confirm this, he answers all questions pertaining to the topics whereas other professors stylishly ignore questions derisively.

In conclusion, my experience shows that a good teaching pattern can attract any students in the class. When a person is choosing such a sacred job, by teaching passionately and using new methods (?), he can have a very good impression on the lives of each student. As I finish my PHD, I plan to be a university professor, and I would do my best to help my students to get even more skills than they planned to learn from the course. I have the ambition to become an academic professor after i conclude my Phd, in order to impact knowledge to the best of my abilities.

I am a beginner also, i just hope i was able to help you...I stand to be corrected as well.
posdream   
Aug 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Governments can ensure all its people are educated by providing free education [5]

Free education should be provided for everyone by the government regardless of educational level,some people believe the government should be able to ascertain that everyone is educated. On the contrary,others believe that education should only be free in the primary and secondary levels only. This means, individuals will have to pay for their tertiary education themselves.

On one hand,there can not be a civilized environment without a high level of education,this can only be achieved by providing free education for all,both at the primary level and the secondary level. It is also known that students will have a specific interests or ambition to what they want to become in the nearest future and this of course can not be realized by dropping out in secondary school. They need to proceed to the university where these dreams can come to actualization.

If the government cater for all levels of education,there will be less percentage of drop-outs and almost everyone will be educated.

One the other hand, the government needs money for other sectors of the economy. Sponsoring every child in all educational level can be capital intensive as there are lots of bills and allocations to be made.

If the government can provide free education for students in the primary and secondary cadres and utilize the money meant for their tertiary education on other sectors like Health and Agriculture,the society will improve a bit.

Although, I am of the opinion that education should be free in all levels as this will aid and increase the population of the elites in our society. Also, the poor and average people will have a future as they will know that all their children will be educated no matter what happens.

Please help me. I welcome all corrections.
posdream   
Aug 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Too much noise in public places; Causes and Measures [5]

This is not a paraphrase of the rubric given.
Try and be more explicit when summarizing.
I am an IELTS taker also and
preparing,according to what I've learnt
from the ubiquitous blogs online. I feel we
need a paraphrase before starting any topic
without copying from the rubric. If I am to
write. I could start by writing thus.

There is too much noise in many public
places.
What are the causes of this problem? What
can be done to solve this problem?
===========

Recently,it has been observed that public
areas in our society experiences excessive
noise. This problem sometimes create lack
of concentration for some passers-by and
people living in the neighbourhood. This
essay will look into some causes and possible
solution to this acclaimed menace.

I stand to be corrected also. Thanks.

However I can't simply judge ur writing totally but I feel there are some grammatical errors which can be fixed by the pros.
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