Undergraduate / burning congee - YALE SUP ESSAY [5]

THIS IS SUPER URGENT... GREAT THX! ESP THE LANGUAGE AND FLOW... THE BOLDED ARE WHAT I THINK VERY AWKWARD... PLS HELP ME IMPROVE IT

I put the congee on the table. Soon a sticky layer forms on the top. As I sup this essence slowly, warmth coats my mouth. For years, I have eaten my congee like this, slowly and mindfully, like a ritual.

But cooking it is another side of the story.

I have a knack for burning congee. It always ends up overcooked because my heart drifts away with the steam. When I should be listening to the whistle of steam, I blast my ears with BBC for news updates; when I should be keeping an eye on overflowing, I revise aphasia and amnesia on flashcards. Only when the faint smell of burning reaches me, I groan and return to the reality, and become even more horrified at the black inedible crust left in the pot.

This burnt smell flavors whatever food I cooked in the pot for weeks, and I wonder how mum casted her spell on the timing and heat. In my memory, every time as I clinked the empty bowls at the dinning table and yelled hungry, she was standing there and stirring the simmering mixture, undisrupted. When the gooey mixture was about to overflow, she turned to the smallest flame and dislodged the stuck grains using a wooden spoon. The heat, water, and time all seemed to be under her control. They are not just trifles, but the difference between a hearty bowl and a disappointing mess. She gave the food her attention, so she noticed.

And I think about how I sometimes "burn" relationships in similar ways. I recount how my friends' bubbly chatter dropped to an embarrassing whisper when I took out my flashcards in the dinning queue; I recall how many voice messages my parents sent me when I forgot calling them during full-time research attachment. "You're always ahead of us. You walk so fast, eat so fast and do everything so fast." Someone wrote it on my birthday card, and that made me realize: amidst my "go-go" life, I had become less attuned to how others feel.

Now to me, cooking congee feels like a necessary balancing ritual when my life swirls into frenzy. Slowly, I learn to smell the fragrance of grains, to listen to the breaking-down of starch, and to see the thickness of congee-consistency. My senses are intensified, and continuously enriched by new observations and insights.

Slowing down my walk, I notice friendly "hi"s and when I return people with my smiles, I find that for light to come in, you need to let light go out. Relationships, like congee, need careful maintenance and mindful attention. As the sweet aroma wafts across the dorm, I develop greater intimacy with other foodies by sharing our delicious experience together into a copious meal.

Now, when I cook congee, all I think about is congee. It deserves attention and insights, so I am learning it with simmering patience.

Undergraduate / my red school blazer - MIT CHALLENGE ESSAY [3]

I am not sure if this can be called as a challenge. Any comment is greatly appreciated! Does this sound very presumptuous or rude?

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

Mr.X has never failed to top the list of "gruesome teachers" over the years.

So when I received his exclusive email for my craved USA school trip, I was in agony.

Trudging my feet into his dingy office, I prayed.

"What's the trouble?" He snorted.

As I stuttered that I wanted to go for the science fair I previously signed up and it clashed with the trip, his eyes rolled into two freshly-peeled eggs.

"You think your project is good? You don't have a chance to get anything from the fair." He stormed away, leaving me dejected.

For years, our school has not won anything. Other elite institutions sweep everything. When the trip people enjoyed their holiday, I spent my days in lab and library, thinking about how everyone might laugh at me. But that doesn't matter. I believe in my own efforts. And the lonesome Indian doctorate student in lab was happy to have me. I cleaned up the clutter and brought her Chai. In return, she taught me how to clean my latex glove smell and cleared my doubts on theories. The swelling sense of satisfaction of scrapping the precipitated drugs off, the peculiar shapes of the crystals under the microscope, and the knowledge I have gained are invaluable.

Months later, my red school blazer made me so obvious among the dozen of indigo and brown Gold recipients, and I felt proud.

When I spotted Mr.X cheering for me, I beamed at him. Thanks for the teasing.

Grammar, Usage / retrieve their dignity / tantalizing - help me with these sentences? [3]

Are the bolded parts correct? I dunno if the usages are correct... but tantalizing seems a bit wrong.
"It was tantalizing to me, to sort out what really happened and to help them retrieve their dignity. But I also felt weighted."

And how should I condense the following sentences, or write them in a clearer, more objective way? Sorry I am not a native speaker...
"These fears made me feel shameful, but they also reminded me the reality."

"By tuning out the political context of XX, which would not tolerate civil disobedience, I dismissed the fact that the drivers infringed the law and disrupted public order."

And for this sentence, I don't know how to express my thoughts...What I intended to mean is that: the more I learn about the world, the more I understand, so I become more empowered, and can see more possibilities, so I can better help the ignorant to overcome their ignorance...But I need to express them in only one sentence...

This is my sentence: "The more I learn I about this world, the more I can help the ignorant."

Great thanks everyone!

Undergraduate / NYUAD's combination of liberal arts education and research; Regional Academic Travel [NEW]

NYUAD's combination of liberal arts education and research, and boundless opportunities fit my aspiration to pursue a double major in Social Research and Public Policy and Psychology. I will feed my voracious brain with classes on Social Psychology and Prejudice. From SRPP 126 Immigration to SRPP 111 Social Policy, I can engage in heated discussion and in-depth analysis on foreign workers' issues. With these knowledge and NYUAD's unique pre-professional track of Social entrepreneurship and Leadership, I can better advocate for humanitarian causes, given the similar situation to Singapore and NYUAD's institutional connections in the community. More importantly, the vast international network NYUAD offers can enrich my multi-cultural identity that is strategic for my future career with NGOs. From Regional Academic Travel to January terms, I can explore so many places that I can never expect and develop greater understanding to help countries overcome differences on the world stage.

Besides, NYUAD's diverse and caring community will become the best resources that I will get. 151 countries, 51 languages spoken, studying in a cosmopolitan city with students from all over the world, I can already envision myself engaging with first-hand global experience all-year-round to mature into a global scholar. Moreover, as a small and new university, NYUAD has a close-knitted community. I remembered talking to a NYUAD senior about the greatest thing there. "Attention. AD tries to meet every student's need. We got ice cream option in the dinning hall after we suggested it!" Being the pioneer batch staying in its new campus on Saadiyat Island, I can't wait to start my own clubs, shape the school culture and leave a legacy. I feel excited about all uncertainties ahead, and I can't wait to brave them through with friends and mentors just as open-minded and curious as me.

Undergraduate / designing and piloting experiments - mit activity pleasure essay critique [6]

Does it sounds very boring and plain?

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

Like creating a new flavor for ice cream, designing and piloting experiments were serendipitous and fun.
I had the idea of lava lamps when I took my Redoxon and applied it to my workshop. Under my guidance, children carefully mixed oil with colored water in a bottle with a flashlamp at the bottom. The instant they threw a Redoxon tablet in, the bright mixture fizzed, bubbled and erupted. They clapped their hands with amazement and I was delighted by the magical power of knowledge.

Another time, I tried something more hands-on. Visitors and I folded the filter paper into a butterfly and then they splashed it with solutions of varying pH values. With a final touch of universal indicator, the butterfly completed its metamorphosis and flapped its colorful wings before their sparkling eyes.

Knowledge is not for its own sake, but also about people.

Undergraduate / A mature global scholar - Brown [why major] critique [4]

Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated in our Member Section, earlier in this application? If you are "undecided" or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. (150 word limit)

I am drawn to International Relations at Brown because it fits my aspiration to work in NGOs to advocate for human rights. I am especially interested in the Security and Society Track, where I can feed my voracious brain with INTL 1802L - Norms of Humanity and engage in heated discussion during POLS 1822U - War and Human Rights. Moreover, as the single largest group of students at Brown who broaden their views through cultural immersion, the IR concentration can satisfy my desire to explore the world and help me mature into a global scholar that is strategic for my future career in helping countries overcome differences on the world stage. I hope that I can continue my passion for French through the 3-year language requirements and with the liberal scope Brown endows me, I can eventually serve for the global community.

Undergraduate / Brain and Cognitive Sciences at MIT- why major? [9]

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer)

I want to attend Brain and Cognitive Sciences at MIT because it allows me to know more about myself and relate to people. I've been following MIT OpenCourseWare and one of my favorite daily jog companions is Prof. Jeremy Wolfe's Introduction to Psychology. My synapses get fired up by his humorous teaching and I hope to learn brain's mechanics in greater depth. When I read that MIT researchers developed drugs to strengthen synapses to help people improve memory, I could already envision myself in this innovative and research-friendly community, generating and sharing knowledge for better minds with the brightest minds.

Grammar, Usage / huge slap that wake me up - Can someone help me express my idea in a clearer way? [2]

"Like a huge slap that wake me up, I realize that I was too consumed by my self-gratifying compassion, to I tune out the fact that civil disobedience does not fit in this social context. "

The first sentence seems very problematic to me. What I want to say here is that: i was too carried away by my own compassion to the extent that I fail to understand the context:it is not a liberal democracy it--- (authoritarian govt ), hence not compatible to civil disobedience, which is the key character of liberal democracy. So i was blinded.