Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay Task 2: entertaining and educational functions of Museums [7]

TOPIC: Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate.
Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

ANSWER:

People sometimes have different views on the role of museums. While there is an opinion that they are a means of entertainment, I believe it is also involved with education.

On the one hand, tourists often go to visit museums for entertainment purposes. Particularly, they are often voted as the funniest destinations in a country. Enjoying the historical and peaceful atmosphere there can be a good way to reduce stress which is caused from hard working days. Besides, there are many traditional games for visitors to play. In Ethnic Museum in Vietnam, for instance, people always feel comfortable playing interesting games such as bag jumping, pillars walking and many more. These are some of the main reasons why people enjoy visiting museums.

On the other hand, it cannot be denied that museums may broaden people's horizons. Information about artefacts, old furnitures and historical photos may help them know more about the country's history and glorious victories. All these documentaries can be helpful for their works and researches.Moreover, visiting museumsalso boost the students' motivation in learning and make them boast of their nation. Therefore, they will study harder in order to contribute their knowledge and efforts to the country's development as people in the past did.

For the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that good museums should have entertaining as well as educational functions so that they are more fun and attracting to both residents and foreign tourists.

Words: 238

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Advertising makes people buy products that they really do not need [8]

TOPIC: Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy products that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve all our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

ANSWER:
Every field has its own positive and negative aspects and advertising is not an exception. From my point of view, I partly agree that advertising is a bad industry in today's economy.

On the one hand, advertising can be good for humans as it is a key part of modern business. It is a way for companies to tell their customers about new products. By advertising, people are informed that they have many choices of goods. Besides, it is a creative industry because it employs a huge number of workforce. The result is that there would be lower unemployment. Therefore, advertising may help to advance our lives.

On the other hand, many companies take advantage of advertising to sell their unnecessary products. Advertisers only focus on selling a brand image. They use glamorous and successful people to promote their brands. Those famous people who should be listed are Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez and many more. This leads to the fact that more costumers will buy their products which might be needless for them. What is more, children can easily be influenced by advertisements. When they watch attention-grabbing commercials on television, they will tell parents to buy them such things. This can put pressure on their families. Hence, advertising can have its own disadvantages also.

In conclusion, although advertising helps people to meet their fundamental needs, its bad effects on human can not be denied. Consequently, advertising should be regulated and people need to consider before buying things.

Words: 251

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Hope everyone will help me to correct this essay :) thank you all in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: Animal Testing - positive and negative aspects [3]

TOPIC: Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

ANSWER:
Animal testing is important for medical and scientific purposes. While some people are of the opinion that testing on animals is completely wrong, others opine that this is necessary for human safety. It is vital to discuss both views before forming a personal idea.

On the one hand, animal experimentation has its own benefits. Firstly, many special medical discoveries involved animal testing. Before providing new products or medicines to societies, those products must be tested to endorse their safety to humans. Secondly, doing experiments on animals gives researchers knowledge about them and their behaviors. Moreover, scientists can diminish the negative consequences that animals experience. Thus, this method is significant to save people from suffering risks of some new drugs.

On the other hand, testing on animals is dangerous. The lives of animals should be respected because this can result in the extinction of some species. In some countries, for example, animal testing is now banned. If people keep using them for medical and scientific reasons, some day there will be no more animals to do so. Besides, there are alternative approaches to endorse drugs. With many effective innovations in science and technology, it is possible for scientists to create and invent new methods to test the safety of products. Furthermore, humans have no right to do experiments on animals. For instance, in many cultures, some animals are their main symbols and belief. Using them for any purpose can be contradict to their rules.Therefore, animal experimentations can be harmful to wildlife.

In conclusion, it seems to me that endorsing products by using such method can be positive as well as negative. Hence, this approach should be regulated and governments should ban dangerous experiments as they can destroy the natural environment.

WORDS: 289

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay Task 2: 'Television / Children' Topic [8]

TOPIC: Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?.

ANSWER:
Televisions today are becoming more and more important in human's life. However, while watching TV can help children study more effectively, I strongly disagree that young people should therefore watch TV frequently both in school and at home.

One the one hand, TV broadens people's horizons. Many TV programs contain knowledgable information which are useful for students. They can learn about the world outside through TV screens and conduct what they learned in real life situations. Discovery Channel, for instance, can teach children how to survive in various harsh conditions. Or Animal Planet Channel can be used as an useful tool to help advance their knowledge about fauna's habitats and behaviours. Therefore, the positive effects that TV has can hardly be ignored.

One the other hand, I do not believe that using TV regularly is always good to children. Firstly, as they spend too much time on TV, their visions can be affected negatively. It is evident there are more and more children are myopics today due to watching TV for long hours. Secondly, students can become neglected and so they may held negative attitudes towards learning. For example, when they are addicted to game programs on TV, they will barely want to go to school. Instead, they are always ready to waste time and money on playing such games. Moreover, TV violent shows should not be watched by young people. The fact is that children tend to immitate bad reactions such as swearing, burglary, vandalism or even murder like the actors do on TV. This leads them to become bad students as well as evil citizens in the future.

In conclusion, although televisions are helpful in some ways, I would argue that children should not use them regularly so the risks involved would be minimized.

Words: 296
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Everyone please take some minutes for this, that would be so amazing if you can help me:) all comments are welcomed :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Life in Big Cities Vs People's health [4]

TOPIC: Living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
ANSWER:
Today, more and more people are moving to big cities to live. However, while life in those cities is good in some ways, I completely argue that people's health would therefore be affected negatively.

Environment pollution one of the primary reasons why life in cities is becoming worse than ever before. Exhaust from transportation, especially cars, and factories' tosix fumes can lead people to face with various respiratory deseases. Besides, water pollution makes people's health become more critical. The fact is that dangerous bacterias and germs in polluted water can go indirectly into people's bodies and create severe problems, which may result in death if the patients are not treated in time.

Moreover, it is likely that many foods in big cities are not safe for people to eat or drink. Recent investigations reveal that toxic foods are sold pervasively in today's market. Also, overpopulation may make people suffer from infectious deseases, especially cough, sneezing and illness. Furthermore, living in such cities also means living in high crime rate areas. Unemployed workers or school dropouts can easily commit crime from petty offence to felony such as burglary, pickpocketing, trickery, vandalism, smuggling or even murder. Earning money for living becomes more difficult, living healthy in such places is getting harder also.

In conclusion, I believe that life in big cities can have negative effects on people's health. Thus, both government and individual should take steps to diminish the consequences involved.

Words: 239
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Hope you guys would help me check it :) welcome all comments :)
Oh please help me check the bold sentence, I'm not really sure wether it is right or wrong ( where to put "therefore" in such sentence? )

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Global music has more positive impacts on humans than traditional music [4]

TOPIC: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

ANSWER:
It is irrefutable that music is becomming more and more popular all over the world. Music brings many beneficial effects to human that we can not ignore, and I would argue that international music should be valued over national music.

There are many convincing opinions why people need music. Firstly, music helps people feel happy and energetic. After a hard-working day, people use music as a cure to reduce stress and tiredness. Secondly, music plays a vital role in important national ceremonies. One example is the national anthem. People always sing it together at the beginning of important events. Besides, music may help the brain works more effectively. A recent research shows that if a man listens to music for five minutes before going to sleep, his brain will become more brilliant than those who do not do the same. Furthermore, music provides high job oppotunities. For those who are out of work, they can become singers, dancers or song composers if they have an instinct related to music. These are reasons why people can not live without music.

From my point of view, it is wrong to say that national music is more important than international music. The main reason for this idea is that international music can help human get more closer together. Black and white, men and women, they are now living in a universal family which we call " the Earth". Moreover, citizens from all parts of the world can have a chance to discover the diversity of cultures through songs. If international music did not exist, our lives would be unimaginable.

In conclusion, music plays an indespensible part in our lives and although the importance of traditional music can not be denied, I believe that global music has more positive impacts on humans.

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All comments are welcomed :) hope you guys will help me. thanks a lot !

Writing Feedback / IELTS; all towns and cities to have public spaces [5]

TOPIC: It is important for all towns and cities to have public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

ANSWER:
It is irrefutable that public places such as squares and parks play a prominent role in people's lives. In my opinion, all towns and cities should have such important areas.

First of all, public spaces are used for entertainment. People from all walks of life, including wealthy people and the poors, go to such places to relax and have wonderful times talking and discussing things. Also, squares can be chosen as the places for celebrating vital holidays, especially the New Year Eve. Thus, there are more chances for all citizens to get more closer together since they go to the same places for the same needs, and so build up strong societies. Besides, those places may help to make the cities more beautiful and attracting to both residents and foreign tourists.

Moreover, public areas are the means of reservation. As they are used to celebrate traditional holidays, the cities' cultures are reserved in a beautiful way that may last for thousand years. In New York, for instance , the Madison Square Garden is always the top place to held the biggest music ceremonies in the world such as the Grammy, Billboard Music Awards, MTV Music Awards. What is more, many endangered species of flora can be kept in parks where they are always concerned by people. Therefore, the benefits of such spaces can never be denied.

In conclusion, it seems to me that having public spaces in all districts of nations is always vital to both humans and the environment.

WORDS: 250

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Please help me check this essay and suggest me other alternative words of "public" and "spaces/ places/ areas". All comments are welcomed :)