/ Helping an Old Man; College Admissions- Better Person
Just to add some points
I just got out of work one day (much better if you put the date here)
around 5:30 in the afternoon
I was walking towards
my car when an old man walked
upalong side towith
me. He looked very weak
as if he had been outside in
cold for a long time. The old man asked me if I knew where he parked his car. I answered him saying that I didn't know where his car was, and
asked him if he can still remembered
where he last parked it. The old man told me that
the only thing he remembered
was he parked his car
in a parking lot. So we walked along to the next parking lot
thatwhich was right next storeto where I my
work to try to find his car. We walked up and down the(I did not get your points here)
rows of cars but the old man kept saying that none of
the cars there were his.them are his car.
Then the old man said to me, "I parked it in a parking lot, and walked" and he began to say this over and over again. I interrupted him and asked if he was sure this was the parking lot that he parked
in, and he told me he wasn't sure anymore. The old man began mumbling to himself, and then he looked at me and said I walked from the doctor's office where my wife was. Right as soon as he began speaking about walking from the doctor's office I knew
hethat there was had
something wrong with him because he had no clue of where he was.
I asked him if there was anyone from his family that I could try to get in touch with. He stared at me blankly
when I asked him this
then he fumbled through his pockets and pulled out his cellphone
and handed it to me. I scrolled through his phone trying to find his contact list but all the numbers that were
in his phone didn't have a name
assigned to them
. This wasn't any help.
I then decided to bring the old man into my work place
to get him out of the cold. We walked in, and my boss was standing there asking me why I came back. I told him what was going on and he told me that I should call the cops since I couldn't get in touch with anyone from his family. I looked
the Norwood police department telephone number and called them. I explained to the cop who answered the phone what was happening and it turns out the cop
very familiar with the old man. He told me that
wouldwill come to our place to help us be right over to my work to help out.
When the cop came
into my work
, I could tell that
him and the old manboth of them knew
because the cop walked in and said, "You know youre not supposed to be out on your own Mr. Johnson." The cop came over to me and told me that the old man's name was Mr. Johnson, and that he suffers from Alzheimer's disease. He went on to tell me that Mr. Johnson leaves his home a lot and gets himself lost, and that he is not supposed to be out alone. The Norwood police department has found Mr. Johnson wondering around town quite a few times and more often
he doesn't know where he is or what's going on.
This may sound cheesy to you, but helping Mr. Johnson
that day really changed my outlook
life. It taught me to appreciate life, and to never take anything for granted because you really never know what life is going to throw
lso, knowing that something like this could even happen to my grandfather who also suffers from Alzheimer's disease really made me realize that the time I spend with him is precious. This story as a whole has really changed me and made me an even better person in life. I'm so thankful that this happened to me because now I have a greater appreciation for the little things in life.
I will just add up some few suggestions to help you improve it.
1. Try to leave space between each paragraph whenever you write a certain topic. It will make your work looks neat.
2. There are some grammatical errors that can be fix by just few editing. I also seen some repetitive words, you can use synonyms to solve that issue
3. Lastly, I think you essay was great, it was very rare to read an essay saying a good news about helping other people.
I hope that I can help you somehow. Best of luck.