Writing Feedback / The Village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010 [2]

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The maps give information about Stokeford village housing and facilities directory changes in 80 years from 1930. The most intriguing facts to emerge were the disappearance of farmlands and the replacement of large house with retirement home.

Moving to a more detailed explanation, in 1930 and 2010, there was a street which divided Strokeford village into west and east sides. This road remained connecting the village to its northern border with a bridge by the river. There was a farmland on the west side in 1930, and then it was replaced by a housing complex in the next period. However, the post office remained at the same position. Moreover, the shops were reconstructed to provide more houses as well.

Next, the farmland at the top of the east also changed its function to housing facility. Other things that changed in this part at the village are the additional buildings at primary high school, a few more houses and the transformation of large house into retirement home.

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Writing Feedback / The World's Population Rise is The Greatest Humanity Problem [NEW]

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that this is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

In this day and age, it is a common belief that the growing population of humans is a major problem. Thus, humans face the consequences such as economy disparity between rich and poor countries, starvation, or homelessness. I extremely believe that this continuous rising is also caused by humans, although I strongly oppose the opinion that says it is the biggest problem in humanity.

Beyond any reasons scientists may come up with regarding to world's population growth, early marriage and the lack of family planning are the main suspects. The 'baby boom' or a dramatic increase of mothers giving birth had been occurring since the Industrial Revolution until the present time. According to sociologists, it is mainly caused by the marriage of a couple in relatively young ages. They are too young to even take account on how many children would be the best and when was the perfect timing. As a result, they do not make any attempt to make such plans in the long run.

Even though the world's growing population is pointed out by people as a humanity problem, people should take a closer look at this matter. It is quality instead quantity of people living in this world that can create problems. Take global warming as an example. Bear in mind that that environmentalists had calculated the current world climate would last at least until another millennium. Alas, humans' quality which in this case is their behaviour, turns out to play the ultimate role in speeding it up. Humans therefore need to be prepared for another ice age sooner.

All in all, it is undeniable that the world's growing population cannot be solved as easy turning a man's palm around, but there is a bigger problem faced by humanity. So, I suggest that humans act more wisely towards the environment.

Writing Feedback / The status of Japanese citizens in total - population statistic [2]

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan.

The bar graph and the table give information about the status of Japanese citizens in total and those who are over 65 years old respectively during the period 1950 to 2010, the current year and the prediction for 2035 until 2055. It is noticeable that the number of people over in Japan as well as those who are above the age of 65 will reach its highest in 2035, while 2055 will see people this group of age dominating the population proportion.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, Japan will have 37.2 millions of people over 65 years old in the country in 2035, when it will be the highest over the timeframe. There will be a slight decrease in the number of these people in 2055 at 36.5 millions.

On the other hand, the number of total population in Japan gradually rose from 1950 until it peaked at 127.8 millions in 2005. Afterwards, the fall in 2010 and 2015 will be followed by a dramatic fall during the next couple of decades. The proportion of people beyond their 65s will continue to grow until 2055 at above two-fifths of Japan's total population.

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Writing Feedback / Attractive and less popular destinations for people visiting different parts of the world [2]

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world.

The line graph illustrates the number of international tourist in several parts of the world in the period of 1990 to 2005. The most significant facts to emerge are the number of tourist who arrived in North America and Central and Eastern Europe were far higher than the other parts in the world at the end of the period.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the level of tourist in North America had always been the highest among the whole regions over the timeframe. It stood at slightly above 70 millions in 1990, reached a high of above 90 millions 10 years later, and it slightly dropped to under 90 millions in 2005. On the other hand, Central and Eastern Europe experienced a sudden jump in the whole 15 years period as it finally reached almost 90 millions.

Next, South America and Sub-Saharan Africa became the least attractive destination despite of their gradual rise in the level of tourist arrivals. However, there was a continuous growth in South-East Asia, which was followed by a large increase in 2005 at approximately 50 millions.

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Writing Feedback / Enjoyable Job vs Good Salary - it's crutial that a work suit someone's passion [3]

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

An occupation may serve different meanings and purposes to different people. Some people believe that an excessive salary is the sole reason to apply for a job, while others point out that their happiness at the workplace is far more important than that. Despite these two perspectives, I am convinced that anyone can spend longer time at his current job as long as he is passionate about it.

Basically, people need money to live. As a matter of fact, two of our most basic requirements to continue breathing are also need to be paid for. They are food and water. In this modern day, people do not grow their own food as their ancestors did in the past time anymore. Moreover, access for clean water is not becoming easier due to its limited sources. In the long run, people need a lot of money from their job in order to live comfortably.

On the contrary, other people think that money is not everything since an enjoyable job is more likely to give them a happier life. There was a study about the happiness level employees in Indonesia who have different levels of earnings in last January. It showed that their happiness only linked weakly with how much their income was. The biggest factor was how the great atmosphere in their workplace instead of the amount of money they own.

While for me, the utmost important factor in a job is whether it suits someone's passion or it is not. The main reason is it can grow that person's motivation and thus, generate a much better performance at work.

Writing Feedback / Market Share of Mobile Phone between Nokia, Sony, Samsung, LG, BenQ and Motorola [3]

The table below shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market to manufacturers in the years 2005 and 2006.

The table gives information about consumer's proportion in different cellular phone brands worldwide from 2005 to 2006 in per cent. It is noticeable that Nokia successfully maintained its position as a market leader in the two years period, while some brands gained fewer consumers over time.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, three among other mobile phone brands managed to raise their market share. Nokia obtained the biggest portion of consumers two year in a row at around a third. Following this, Motorola and Sony also succeeded in strengthening their place in the market in 2006 at 21.1% and 7.4% sequentially.

On the contrary, all other mobile phone brands experienced a decrease in their market share. Samsung dropped from 12.7% in 2005 to 11.8% in the following year. The same trend also happened to L.G., BenQ Mobile and other brands which all had a weaker position in the market in 2006.

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Writing Feedback / The greater number of the criminal cases which are perpetrated by young people below 18 year old [2]

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

It is reported that criminal cases which are perpetrated by young people below 18 year old increases. This report goes hand in hand with the frequency of news in television showing crime cases by children. According to psychologists, this trend is mainly caused by the lack of social and emotional education received by children from their parents and teachers. For some reasons, I strongly disagree with this opinion.

To begin with, I extremely believe that parents and teachers make efforts to educate children but sometimes they still use conventional perspective. For example, parents set a regulation the make night curfew to prevent children from coming home late. In this and age, children already have a busy schedule such as attending school until afternoon, taking courses until late evening, not to mention the unfriendly traffic if they live in cities. Aside from these activities, children still need to socialize with their peers to have a memorable youth. Hence, parents and teachers should update their regulations concerning children's night curfew so they do not feel under pressure.

The next reason for violent crimes committed by youngsters is their social environment, it means friends. Children tend to go for particular actions when their friends support them or even involved as well. To look more closely into the aforementioned report, around 80% of these cases were done by a group of teenagers. Therefore, parents and teachers should take the surrounding environment of children into account.

In conclusion, I totally disagree that parents and teachers need to educate children more, both socially and emotionally. However, it is highly suggested that they update education perspectives and be considerate of children's environment.

Writing Feedback / Higher Education for Work and Perspectives - IELTS [3]

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

For a lot of people, a course completion in a university is the absolute path to ensure a significant occupation in spite of the high cost. However, other people think that starting to work directly after finishing school and obtaining work experience are much better. Nevertheless, some manual jobs are now done by machines. Therefore, I strongly believe that people should set their career goal first prior to making any decisions towards a higher education.

For many people, the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. It is based on the ultimate reason that a degree can open the door to better employment prospects. A 2010 revealed that university graduates earn approximately 60% higher salaries than high school diplomas in Asia region. The study also pointed out that all top management positions are occupied by those with a degree. Thus, university graduates have a bigger chance of more significant career.

Another perspective is that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work since there are plenty of opportunities in customer service sectors such as restaurants. According to Indonesia Manpower Department, 6 out of 7 positions are available for high school diplomas. Hence, school graduates can be employed in such industry.

Despite the aforementioned opportunity for high school diploma holders, repetitive manual jobs are now by machines so there is a chance of them being terminated by the employer. For example, the manufacturing company in which I worked at terminates their workers twice a year due to their automation process at the assembly line. Owing to this fact, employees who work directly after graduating school are at risk of losing their jobs.

In conclusion, those who go the extra miles by completing further education in university gain better employment opportunities. On the other hand, people who start to work after graduating high school could be terminated by the companies if their jobs are repetitive. Finally, I am convince that people should have a clear goals in regard to their career before deciding on a pursuing a higher education at university.

Writing Feedback / Living in A Media-Rich Society; media should contribute more for humanity in the future [3]

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

In this day and age, it is almost impossible to withdraw from the effects of media in our daily activities. As a coin always has two sides, there are also several positive and negative effects of living in the exposure of media. Despite of the drawbacks, I am convinced that media benefits humanity.

The most prominent advantage of the media in our lives is it enables information to travel in a blink of an eye. As a result, people can keep up-to-date and take necessary actions afterwards. For instance, when a tsunami hit Aceh region in Indonesia during the last decade, the media provided breaking news concerning the victims and how the area was damaged. Subsequently, people around the globe collected donations as well as volunteered in order to help the recovery after the disaster. From this experience, the media enables mankind to ease sufferings in the world.

Another advantage is the media industry creates job opportunities due to the growing number of mass media companies. As a matter of fact, Manpower Department of Indonesia recently reports that there are more than 1 million people who work in this industry. Moreover, this particular industry ranks the third in terms of the number of employees among the others. Hence, a media-rich society offers significant employment chances.

However, the media tends to report violent and sensational crime stories with the aim of increasing their audience. It results in fear of crime among society. In fact, Indonesia's Censoring Institution points out in 2011 that 70% of news programs were related to criminal cases. Thus, people live in anxiety of being a criminal victim who will end up in one of the news feature.

All in all, it is evident that living in a media-rich society has more advantages than disadvantages. Where possible, media should contribute more for humanity in the future.