Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Aris05
Name: Aris Indra
Joined: Aug 25, 2016
Last Post: Oct 12, 2016
Threads: 31
Posts: 24  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia
School: English studio

Displayed posts: 55 / page 2 of 2
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary 2 Pie charts represent water usage in San Diego,California and Worldwide [5]

Hi dioba. here's my thought

San Diego is the region in which havehas the biggest water usage

California is the region which isconsumes the biggest water usage for industry.

On the other hand, only a very small number of water usage utilized by resident in worldwide.
Sometimes you change the position :
water usage
usage of water
water consumption
consumption of water


That's it. I wish it could be useful
Best Regard
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / A step that we can do to avoid the bad habit [2]

TED : A Simple Way to Break Habit

In this video, the speaker, Judson Brewer, talked about a step that we can do to avoid the bad habit. First of all, he talked that humans have tendency to do act in positive and negative ways and it is automatically recorded in our brain system. For instance, some people do not want to eat too much because they consider about effect sides such us obesity and blood sugar disease. However, others ignore the risks because of some reasons like taste and daily need. In addition, Judson said that many people tend to near what they are suppose to be prohibition because it gives a big curiosity why I have to avoid this caution. As the result, many people are attracted to try harmful action. Many school children, for example, smoke, though they know that smoking has been restricted as provide many drawbacks especially for health. Then, he talked that mindfulness training is able to help people to reduce their curiosity. This method does not avoid people to do something bad instead. Therefore, it will give experience to them. For example, people can try ciggarette if they want. This situation is going to reduce their desire to smoke, while they will get their own experience about it. In this case, people tend to state that smoking is not good and gives them a lot of drawbacks. People have changed their knowladge to be wisdom and it is going to be guidline for making better life.
Aris05   
Sep 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some extraordinary events, such as super moon, harvest moon and total blood moon. [3]

September 30 Black Moon Explained

Nowadays, most people are interested in Lunar phenomena as they are able to see an extraordinary event, such as super moon, harvest moon and total blood moon. On september 30, space researchers have predicted a special occasion, called black moon, is going to happen in western hemisphere. However, many people usually call this phenomenon with second new moon. It takes place when the position of lunar between earth and sun.Thus, the light of the sun cannot irradiate the earth. Actually every month just has a new moon, nevertheless there are some different phases causing some months have two new moons. When the phenomena come, people are able to see it without any risks. In some places, new moon is also become a sign of celebration such as in many Islamic countries which use it as beginning of a new year.
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Powerful matthew hurricanes threaten Jamaica. [4]

Hi bams, here are my thoughts

Recently, there was occursing an extremely hurricane in jJ amaica and it is called as bmatthew hurricane,

they were it reached the top classification,...

Whereas, run was already fallen in jamaica and it will give big whorst effect in those areas

That's it.I wish it could be useful
Best Regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Why helmets don't prevent concussions and what might; TED [6]

Hai fauziyah, here are my thoughts

The helmet hasn't has not assessed the ability to ...

Helmets hashave not assessed for protection ability.

Shortly, concussion process occurs when brain smacked s with skull and getting s damaged and injured.

That's it. I wish it could be useful
Best regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / One of the tremendous hurricanes, called Matthew, was going to surge Haiti [2]

Powerful Hurricane Matthew Threatens Haiti, Jamaica and Cuba

One of the tremendous hurricanes, called Matthew, was going to surge Haiti and it was on fourth grade for dangerous level. Thus, the hurricane moved at 145 mph which was expected to reach Haiti on Monday and Cuba on Tuesday. To overcome this disaster, The authorities of haiti had taken the practical anticipation. They had set more than 1,300 emergencies shelter which were able to accomodate more than 340,000 inhabitants. The recent information of matthew hurricane was broadcasted by radio as well, while the rescuers warned the society directly. After passing Jamaica and Haiti, the storm was predicted to destroy Cuba. To anticipate the number of victims, the government moved approximately 500 families to the Florida by military planes. They also established the shelter emergencies in some places.
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Big is the Ocean? It covers roughly 71% of Earth's surface. [5]

Hi erwin, here are my thoughts

..., consisting of five component basins component that are called the Atlantic

Each of these five, while generally referred to as oceans ...

... 97% of Earth's total of water content.

... 50% of the world's population are living within 100 kilometres ...

That's it, i wish it could be useful.
Best regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Strangers are not dangerous - we should talk to them keeping in mind cultural differences [6]

Hai, Yonathan. here are my thoughts

ButHowever , Kio stated that most strangers ...

most strangers are not dangerous and. We have erased both the assumption and category ...

Categorise peoplePeople category in physical appearance likesuch as black, white, Asian is ...

That's it. I wish it could be useful.
Best Regard
Aris05   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / The speaker, James Oliver, talked about the importances of children to learn about healthy food. [2]

TED : teach every child about food

In that video, The speaker, James Oliver, talked about the importances of children to learn healthy food. First of all, He said that in recent years many people do not realize that a food which they consume everyday harms their body health such as obesity and blood sugar disease. Moreover, some people do the strict diet to solve those problems. In fact, instead of undertaking it, this activity precisely aggravates their condition and even causes the death. In this case, fast food has the greatest responsibilty affecting many problems in fitness of humans. Nowadays, Fast food is also commonly consumed by school children as it is considered simpler than the parents have to prepare their children food. For instance, the number of children bought pizza for breakfast, and french fries as a their snack. Whereas, those foods contain the amount of additives and ingridients which is not good for their health. The speaker said that Americans have to make a change in life with learning a basic cooking. In addition, parents need to give more attention to their children food. Then, a person is able to teach three people about cooking and then they can continue it to others. Eventually, all of people will involve in this action and give the best effect for children.
Aris05   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Child Trauma Can Cause Trauma Aging [2]

Nowadays, the number of people talks about the aging and it is sensitive matter for most of them. However, no one discusses about telomere which has a significant contribution in the aging process. Telomere is a part of chromosome which contains protein. It pertains to our ages as the growth of telomere is going to reduce in the long run. The expansion of telomere is affected by environmental condition and stress. A recent study outlines that bad experiences of childhood are able to disturb telomere growth causing premature aging, while other studies showed that the economical problems interfere the telomere growth in both childhood and adulthood. In addition, horrible experience in social life also retard 8 percent of telomere development in childhood and it is able to increase to 11 % when someone has been adult. Most of the time, children do not want to tell their stress having been experienced. Thus, it may be able to change their gene expression permanently.
Aris05   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Essay about issue of the crime punishment - evaluation of the guilt [2]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


The large number of inhabitants agree that every type of crime has to get punishment directly, while others believe that the criminal sentence must consider the other factors influencing the crime. This essay will discuss both views.

Nowadays, the amount of crime has increased and thus most people are not able to live in peaceful situation. Consequently, most of them convince that the government must punish people committing in criminal activity. For instance, a person robbing a house and killing the owner of the house should get a severe sentence such as prison sentence along the life or death punishment. The simple reason is to emerge the wary effect to other criminals. As the result, most of them think that it is able to have immense possibility to reduce the crime amount and to provide peace life for the society.

On the other hand, many believe that the sentence is able to be given after the authority has done the deep investigation to know the other factors influencing people to commit the crime. For example, pick pockets are able to get amnesty when they have a strong reason why they are involved in the stealing activity such us to maintain their life as they live in poor condition or someone has forced them to do it. It pertains to human right as well since every person has the same right to get protection in front of the law.

All in all, several people state that the punishment has to be given as soon as possible, while many think that the sentence must wait until the account of crime has been met. However, I personally believe that the criminals are supposed to get sentence as soon as possible because it is able to maintain a good situation in society. It is imperative that the government has to arrange the policy to regulate this case wisely.
Aris05   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Let is simplify legal jargon By Alan Siegel [2]

Hi, pha. Here are my thoughts

... talked that today government was complexity responsible has complex responsibility which runsa 16 pages of constitutions where took at ...

He explained the simple things achievingto achieve this about transparency ...

Siegel is as keynote speaker on ...

Had been developed design business and focus a new people and interactive with others such ...
To be honest, I am confused with this sentence

He explained to be more simplesimplify it how to organize the ...

He said that Obama always havehas time to correct and all important document.

... changing the content that he is proud about date, ...
IBM havehas responsibility in business.

Thomas Jefferson whichwho said when the ...

That's it, i wish it could be useful.
Best Regards
Aris05   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Haitians Worship Among Devastation Caused by Hurricane Matthew [2]

After the hurricane knocked down, a large number of Haitians died while enormous buildings were vanished in term-time. According to current official report, approximately 522 inhabitants died due to this tragedy ; moreover, it is not included the number of victims coming from remote areas as the ruins of bridges and roads had blocked the location's access. Though the Haitians experienced the worst hardship since they lost their family members and possession, most of them still did the worship in ruined Churches. They praised and prayed to the god because of giving them salvation. In addition, The authority estimated at least 350,000 Haitians needed aid whilst the biggest threat came from cholera disease. This condition was compounded by destruction of crops and limitation of health care services.
Aris05   
Oct 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / The majority of people moved to some big cities from their hometown to have a good condition to live [4]

Hi samsons, here my thoughts

the majority of people moved to athe big cities from their hometown to have a good life condition to live.

... advantages and disadvantages to beinga people when people live ...

... in a small community, you never feel lonely because people knew know each other and everyone usually speaks to each other.

and people there were little crime because people there did not have material needspossession so much

And if children have a lot of friends to play with, they ...

.., fields and rivers and also , they have no factories or industries there.

That's it. I wish it could be help.
Best Regards
Aris05   
Oct 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Build Creativeness and Confidence [2]

In that video, the speaker, David Kelly, talked about the way to build creativeness and confidence. In most of the time, people surrounding us gave a severely nasty judgment when we brought about the mistakes. Thus, it affected dire consequences in self confidence and creativeness causing people for tending to avoid a something new. In fact, this situation was not good as it was going to be the biggest barrier to develop their curiousty. To deal with this situation, he made reference to Albert Bandura, psychologist, creating a theory called guided mastery. In this regard, Bandura convinced people to deal with their problems, not avoid it. He did his method in several steps pertain to grow patient's confidence which is called confidence self-efficacy. Kelly also told a story about Doug Dietz discovering a medical imaging equipment. At the first time, Doug felt very happy since his invention was able to aid a large number of people. However, seeing the children crying because of being afraid of that machine, his feeling suddenly changed. Afterward, he decided to do makeover in his workplace like playground. Amazingly enough, it is work well and able to reduce the number of patients by 70 percent. Finally, speaker believed that creativeness and certainty were really important in our life.

Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳