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Posts by pokpok16 [Suspended]
Name: Arin Prastiani
Joined: Sep 19, 2016
Last Post: Sep 20, 2016
Threads: 6
Posts: 9  
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From: Indonesia
School: UIN Alauddin

Displayed posts: 15
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pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / How To Balances Between Life and Work? [6]

How To Balances Between Life and Work?

Work - life balances means something different to every individual, It is important to achieve a balances between work time and leisure or family time, but too much work can result in stress and poor health, which known "workaholics" may neglect their families and friends.

After all, people need to take regular holidays, even many companies expect employees to work overtime, but the companies should give their staff time to rest which is gathering in the beautiful places like beach or mountain areas.

And here health and career experts share tips to help and find the balance that is right for us, as first, let go of perfectionism in intent to a lot of overachievers develop perfectionist tendencies at a young age when demands on their time are limited to get the job or other activities. Second, unplug it means like Brooks ever said if resilient people taste a greater sense of control over their lives, while reactive people have less control and are more bent to stress.

In conclusion, a good work with life balances can raise the job satisfaction, and people who work sometimes need to refreshing, cause to espouse productivity of work and life needs good health and always happiness.

Please note that further useless comments will get your account suspended. Moderator
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Scholarship / 'to become fluent in this beautiful and unique language' - KGSP 2017 STUDY PLAN FOR LANGUAGES [3]

hallo lis_ho,
i have checked your essay, and i would like to give some corrections.

1. at this sentence: "will provide success and a differential when" should be "will provide success and a differential (..+noun..) when " because differential is adjective.

2. at this sentence: "other than giving me a self-satisfaction immensurable " should be "other than giving me a immeasurable self-satisfaction "

3. at this sentence: "which I can blindly assure you" should be "which is able to blindly assure you"
because it is adjective clause.

4. at this sentence: "... probably the opposite of mine due to the fact that its culture
thank you, keep trying :)
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Conditions of Water Supply In Indonesia [5]

The Conditions of Water Supply In Indonesia

Water supply and sanitation in Indonesia is characterized by poor levels of access and service quality. According to data, there is over 40 million people lack access to an improve water and no access to improved sanitation. Only about 2% of people have access to filth in municipal areas, this is one of the lowest in the world among middle-income countries.


Access to improved water source in 2004 was 77%, which is 89% in urban and 72% in rural. Access to safe water is gauged by the number of people, which have a reasonable means of getting a qualify amount of water that is safe for drinking, washing, and essential menage to activities, expressed as a percentage of the total population.

Urban sanitation is the least well addressed of major policy issues in Indonesia. Poor sanitation in cities and small burgs is posing population health hazards though pollution of both ground and surface water sources used by urban populations for a variety of aims. Top-down delivery systems of the past have led to the poor not gaining sizable access to safe sanitation services in both urban and rural areas.

The provision of water and sanitation services in urban areas is the responsibility of PDAMs. PDAM take the responsibility due to the fact that supply and distribution of water are major concerns, these systems are massive engineering projects. Besides, many professionals are involved their planning, construction, and maintenance.

In conclusion, water is not only human need, but a human right since it is set the presence of any human being. Right to water is turning into right to life, due to the fact that urban life would be impossible without water supply systems.
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Be Careful for Your Bike, The Thief Will Grab It [2]

hello abdasyari,
i have checked your essay, your essay was interesting, but i would like to give a correction

1. at this sentence: "As a result, he begun looking for it by himself and luckily"

thank you, wish it useful :)
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Effects of Technology for Working [5]

The Effects of Technology for Working

In this era technology so espouse to expedite our work, instance of the internet, fax, and mobile phone, and many other. With it workers can communicate via email, online networks and video conferencing.

Besides technology can connect workers in different countries, it helps and gives people more freedom and also save time and money. Using it at the workplaces has its own advantages and disadvantages. Below it has detailed points explaining how technology can be of great use at the workplaces and how it can also be a problem.

The advantages of technology in the workplace such as: first, can improve communication in instance the employees can use sundry communication tools to interact or exchange information at work, and be used to bolster group provision making. Second, to boost innovation and creativity, it means many companies create technological challenges and reward employees who come up with creative ideas if utilizing it, then can be used by employees to socialize and mingle with other creative employees from different organizations, this way will result into information exchange and it also boost brain storming on various work related issues. Third, it can be used to automate various jobs at work, this automation will vouch efficiency and also escalate on production at work.

The disadvantages: firstly, it is risky, which means though like the benefit that come with technology at work, it also tends to be risky, especially when it comes to data security. Secondly, it makes the employees inert because it kills their creativity and skills.

In conclusion is technology has benefits and lacks, depend us to adopting it wisely.
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / 22 Things You Didn't Know About the Olympic Village in Rio [4]

hallo Fira,
i have checked your essay, and i would like to give some corrections.

1. at the second paragraph, in this line: "ceremony in center of the athletes village", it should be: "ceremony in center of the athlete's village", cause the village is a possession of athlete.

2. at the second line of the second paragraph "Beside a little opening ceremony is welcomed fellow competitors from other countries.", correct be: "Beside a little opening ceremony is welcoming fellow competitors from other countries."

thank you, wish it useful :)
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / A death in the family inspires two works of art - Summary Article [3]

Hallo Fadhil,
i have checked your essay, and i would like to give a correction

1. "Besides, the moment of put these families together", it should be: " Besides, the moment of put this family together"

thank you, wish it useful
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Disabilities People With The Great Achievements [5]

The Disabilities People With The Great Achievements

Many people presumed has perfect body is the main things, whereas it is not the only one things. Some people got the disabilities, they are who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, has a record of such impairment, or is regarded as having such as impairment.

A lot of disabilities people has many achievements, nay more feat than people which has equipped organ-body and mental normally. They should have the same rights as other people, have access to the same jobs as other citizens, should be treated the same as everybody else. Not instead to underestimate them, we do not know how about our future. Feasibility disability people will gain success than us and must be respect each of us.

The instance cases when in the school, during the process of study, the teacher have to support the children which have disability whether they gained the difficulties.

In conclusion discrimination against disabled people are illegal in many countries and the Government should make a ramp and lifts for wheelchairs should be installed in public buildings to help them.
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Iconic dishes set the scene for RI culinary tourism (Summarize) [3]

hallo, zul2805_es
i have checked your essay, and i would like to give some corrections:

1. "......the 30 most scrumptious meals in Indonesia"
2. "......This meals also", it should be: "These meals also will"
3. ".... expert in Indonesia that joins the group."

thank you, wish it useful :)
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Relation Between Transportation and Traffic Congestions [NEW]

The Relation Between Transportation and Traffic Congestions

Cities as Jakarta, Bandung, and Surabaya have all had to deal with thousand of cars running through their streets each day. Traffic congestion is a big problem for everyone within the city. The main reason why traffic congestion occurs are more cars, poor road management, and poor practices on behalf of employers.

Due to many cars on the road is one of the reason of it. The adult population is augmenting and hence many people want their own personal transport to gain around with. The chances of congestion mount by the number of cars. It is why little towns and villages congestion is sparse unheard of.

What are the impact of congestion? Congestion involves queuing, slower speeds, and increased travel times, which impose costs on the economy and generate multiple impacts on urban regions nad their inhabitants. It also has an impacts on quality of life, stress, safety as well as impacts on non-vehicular road chamber users like the users of pavement and road fore properties.

The reasons behind traffic congestion are narrow roads, illegal parking, escalating number of population, higher purchasing power of the public, improper planning of city development, improper lane management, and many others.

The solutions of traffic jam are Retricting routes for Rickshaw, strict lane management, road widening, increasing and developing the manpower (traffic police), and financial penalty to the traffic law breakers.

The conclusion if it is a global as well as local problem all of the world, street parking is prime of the causes.
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Scholarship / KGSP 2017 Personal Statement Review of Grammar and Topics! [3]

halo lis_ho,
let me to check yours, my correcting are:

1. In the first paragraph, this sentence: "I believe you can be happy in the process ofto achieving something"

2. In the second paragraph, this sentence: "In the year ofOn 2012,Ithe first time I read about the Korean Government"
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - People live in one place and live in many places - which is better? [3]

Halo fadhilmd25, your essay is so interesting, let me to correct yours.

1. at the second paragraph, at this sentence: "public transports and advanced", I usually found the words it should be, "public transportation and advanced", cause "transportation is a tools or equipments to carry on people, but transport is how the way you take it".

thank you :)
pokpok16   
Sep 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Causes and The Consequences Of Child Labour [2]

The Causes and The Consequences Of Child Labour

Perhaps we have ever heard or read about 'Child Labour' cases, Child Labour refers to the employment of children in any work that deprives children of their childhood, interferes with their ability to present regular schooland that is physically, mentally, socially, or morally perilous and pestiferous. This rehearsal ponder exploitative by many international organisations.

According to ILO (International Labour Organization) about labour of children are global number of children in child labour has declined by one third since 2000, from 246 million to 168 million children. More than half of them, 85 million, are in hazardous work (down from 171 million in 2000). In the area of Asia and the Pacific still has the largest numbers (almost 78 million or 9.3% of child population, the child labour among girls fell by 40% since 2000, compared to 25% for boys.

The causes of child labour poverty is undoubtedly a dominant factor, families on or below the poverty line force their children into work to supplement their household's meager income. There are many other factors that conspire to drive children into employment. The reason can we begin the problems associated with child labour as if parents may effectively "sell" their children in order to repay debts or secure a loan and child soldiers are forcibly enlisted into military service and operation.

The consequences for them is physical injuries and mutilations are caused by badly maintained machinery on farms in factories and any number of hazards confront in industries like fireworks manufacture, mining, and many other.

The conclusion is if the boy or girl takes up a few job as a domestic help or restaurant boy against a nominal salary. He does not get enough time for primary and secondary educaton and most likely to remain completely unskilled. And then, child labour is illegal.

Thank you for read it, I need somebody to critically inspect my Personal Statement (first draft). I need harshness where possible, advice and expertise to improve, and how I can make the statement stand out as best as possible.
pokpok16   
Sep 19, 2016
Graduate / "Dream is not what you see in sleep, is the thing which doesn't let you sleep"; SOP robotic engineer [2]

Hallo, vinayvardhan.

Let me checking your writing, there are some my correction:

1. at this sentence "... a lesson that every minute detail is important ", you were got the typo.
2. at this sentence, "... and sixth sense technology using mat laboratorium ", as a matter of course the words of "lab" which is from the words of "laboratorium", it should be clearly, it may not be shorten. and in the fact what the meaning of "mat" that you mean? is it "math"? please make it clear to understand.

so,thank you vina, wish it useful to you.
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