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"moved to Champaign from Nepal" - your decision to apply for transfer

9 - thank you guys:D...

Undergraduatebhawanashrestha - Aug 19, 2009bhawanashrestha - Sep 22, 2009
"The negative impacts of capitalism on the world" - issue of importance

9 - I look forward to reading your next draft. If you want statistics about various countries, such as life expectancy,...

Undergraduatesweets13087 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
"The human organism and its chemical processes" - Transfer Applicants, PROMPT #1

9 - That's a fine addition to the essay....

Undergraduatevuko323 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 22, 2009
Common App short answer; At age three, violin was an experiment like ballet and basketball

18 - 'It also has high-school students tutor low-income, inter-city music students' Shouldn't the word be 'who tutor'? Look at...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009eclipze - Sep 16, 2009
"Something you do for the pleasure of it" - Short Answer

5 - No. If all of your sentences were that length, the essay would run into problems, but an occasional long...

UndergraduateJJH - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Concept and story line good; I need help with correcting the grammar in my essay

4 - We patiently waited alongsideof many other excited spouses and parents. As the buses pulled up, everyone started cheering...

Writing Feedbackjenni929 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
"Memom, how did you draw this?" Topic of Choice Essay -- opinions and critiques

5 - As others have pointed out, you point isn't really clear here. You decided that you were interested in art...

Writing FeedbackMichelleHob - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Harvard (optional) essay- about Iran and travel.

8 - Yep, your new conclusion reads very well, and will work as a solid replacement for the sentence you had...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 22, 2009
"Crossroads" - Common App Personal Essay

10 - The first part of your essay now connects more smoothly with the rest of it. In taking out some...

Undergraduateusername621 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
BLUE-COLLAR LIFE & CYCLING ; UT Austin transfer - SOP

2 - The essay is solid, because it has the advantage of sounding sincere. You are speaking candidly and well about...

UndergraduateDJKessler - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Which is the better way to write? Prompt 1-UC Essay

3 - they always say general to specific. which one is more general to u? community or family? seems as if...

Undergraduatetran1200 - Aug 19, 2009tal105 - Aug 19, 2009
the International Baccalaureate program - UF Application Essay

4 - Thanks for the feedback. I'm not using this essay whatsoever. I agree it's not personal enough, therefore, I wrote...

Undergraduatebrojas30 - Aug 19, 2009brojas30 - Sep 2, 2009
Peace Corps Essay Question (discovering new things, overcoming challenges, conquests)

6 - Unless they are brain-dead, everybody enjoys new experiences. Almost everybody sets goals and enjoys achieving them. You need to...

Undergraduateshell5811 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
Common Application Essay - What lead me to my goal?

24 - yeh dont mention things to make it sound like people will pity you. i like the references to the...

UndergraduateLoliT - Aug 19, 2009eyitskat - Aug 27, 2009
Toefl essay -- planning and organization

5 - to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development...

Writing Feedbackclaire echo - Aug 19, 2009sirius51 - Sep 3, 2009
English Aboriginal feature article.

3 - Even an editorial should probably be a bit more comprehensive and tightly reasoned. The Australian government should make it...

Writing FeedbackBillmc - Aug 19, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 19, 2009
Learning from Electronic Media: GRE essay topic

6 - Well, if you post what you have so far, we can send you in the right direction with your...

Writing FeedbackKahollavan81 - Aug 19, 2009EF_Susan - Nov 1, 2012
highly zealous, energetic and motivated - UT Austin - Statement of Purpose

7 - It would be nice if I could incorporate my passion to serve the country by contributing to the development...

Undergraduatesparklingway - Aug 19, 2009sparklingway - Aug 23, 2009
'Materials Science and Engineering' - MIT Short Answer: Which Department?

10 - Thanks for the responses guys. As I take it, I should delete/shorten the first examples. Then I should...

UndergraduatePikafu - Aug 18, 2009Pikafu - Aug 19, 2009
animals, artwork, sciences - present yourself to the Committee on Admissions

3 - I have also been said to be a great dog trainer. I grew up rescuing stray dogs in...

Undergraduatesad_an6el - Aug 18, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 18, 2009
Hard work was preferable to the expense of neglected morals and sore back - Ethical dilemma QB essay

9 - Also, how do you indent the first line of a paragraph in the text editor? The tab key doesn't...

Undergraduateasyn - Aug 18, 2009asyn - Aug 20, 2009
PhD - Social Work Research

13 - Great sentence! Thanks Sean!...

Graduatekdm504 - Aug 18, 2009kdm504 - Aug 31, 2009
"Dear Admission's Committee" - Addendum to a Personal Statement

9 - Pay attention to your sentence structure. The first part, before it is offset with the comas, needs to...

Graduatediana_pencheva - Aug 18, 2009Notoman - Aug 21, 2009
"BODY SLAM"; Wrestling - Common App Short Essay

9 - Thanks for the feedback Simone and asyn. I incorporated what both of you said: When the local youth...

UndergraduateAphamos - Aug 18, 2009Aphamos - Aug 20, 2009
Reading has always been a favorite pastime of mine. - Common App

14 - Let me jump in with a few general comments. I like both versions and would like to see you...

Undergraduateraven - Aug 18, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 20, 2009
The benefit of a global university-- GRE topic, need help

6 - If you are worried about having enough time to say what you want to say in this...

Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 18, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
"Soccer is my inspiration" - Common Application 150 word essay

5 - Ideally, you will do both: Show off your writing skills and tell or, even better, demonstrate something about...

UndergraduateRay274 - Aug 18, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 19, 2009
Common Application. Personal Statement. ''Dragon boat race"'

17 - I think it is a good essay to write for the common app. Maybe you might want to consider...

Undergraduatelinhexi - Aug 18, 2009zw123 - Oct 3, 2009
IELTS Essay: Main purpose for Universities

4 - I agree with Simone. Especially the last sentence. It's confusing....

Writing Feedbackcxfcxh - Aug 18, 2009jyxff - Aug 21, 2009
Criminal records, British and Australia laws - IELTS Essay

9 - Passive constructions use the object of an action as the sentence's grammatical subject, as oppose to the active voice,...

Writing Feedbackstealthreaction - Aug 18, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 21, 2009
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