Writing Feedback / IETLT Task I : Spending leisure time by young individuals and couples [9]

These graphs show the result of a survey, 100 people (single men and women and couples with/without children) were interviewed to find out who they typically spend time with on a free day. The percentage shown here are averages

answer
The bar charts below are results in 1000 people separated in two groups (single and couples). Both of these charts also contain with the average of age and the descendant having that correlated to activity they are chosen in the leisure time.

Overall, both couples are favor to spend their time with family while the singles choose friend and family for most favourite to accompany their leisure.

To begin with, most of single men spend their leisure with friends by 47 per cent besides the other trends, 25 and 28 percent, are use for family gathering or just enjoy free time alone. Likewise, majority of single woman tends to attach with family by 46 per cent rather than take a hang out or enjoy their leisure alone.

The other leisure percentage shows differential especially in couples living. Although both of them are favor to spend time with family, childless family become the second with 53 percent while a couples with children becomes mesmerize with slightly above 70 per cent. However, portion for friend or alone have dramatically decreased merely fewer than 20 per cent.

• 
  single_and_couple_sp.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task II: Dress reflects Chracter [10]

Some people believe that a person character is reflected by how they dress. Others said that the way she (he) dresses may not say anything about what the y really like. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

answer

"Don't judge the book by its cover" is the common English expression that we usually heard. This terminology probably affects some people to perform as much as his (her) expectancy. Therefore, people tend to cover their body with nice stuff which is directly portrayed their characters. In the previous, the expression guides some people point of view for marked someone's character as his (her) appearance while critics disagree about this.

Behaviour is a product of mental aspects. Indeed, behaviour is not merely about how their walking, talking, or thinking . It is also consisting in how they dresses which is seen as a media to express their character. The style of dressing inclines people taste and unconsciously picturing their character. For instance, girly woman likes to wear colorful pattern with unique accessories as complement. On other hand, elegant man , likes to use simple shirt pattern with less ornament. The pro group usually takes evaluation about human characteristic just in surface with their first impression, and this is not fair indeed because people have several backgrounds which cannot understand just in a minute.

Nevertheless, the opponent groups resist this opinion. They tend to argue that knowing someone characters from the appearance is not wise enough. Human character is complicated and deeply need assessment to decide where group of character involve. For example, we should use some psychological measurement to decide people as shy person or childish such as EPPS or Kraeplin. This is the valid way to conclude someone. I tend to agree with this opinion because this is far from common sense.

In conclusion, to understand well other people characters needs some assessment stuff and we have to know people from entire of their background not just from the appearance .

In conclusion, to understand well other people characters needs some assessment stuff and we have to know people from entire of their background not just from the appearance .

Writing Feedback / Some people deny changes and choose to stay in their comfort zone [10]

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What is the kind of problems can cause this? What solution you suggest? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

answer
Human change is a natural law. Some people, however, against changes and chooses to stay in their comfort zone; while, the others have hard effort to get variation in their life. Therefore, the human changes also followed by several triggers which are personally different. Anyway, I believe that being resistant cannot develop people to get actualization. Then, we should be braver to out of our comfort zone.

It is undeniably that most of people are staying in the circumstance of their coziness. They tend to do their daily presented and noted as the destiny that they should do. For instance, a marriage women do their daily as house wife such as clearing house, cooking, serving husband without any desire to do more outdoor. However, sometimes convenient life occurs because people are afraid to face the different environment. We can see that most graduated school children do not prefer to continue their study neither in the same city nor in abroad.

Futhermore, as a developing figure, we should improve ourselves to be better life. This can be gained if we bravery breaking our comfort zone and facing the new challenge for actualize ourselves. For example, Hellen Keller, dumb orator, braved to defeat her weakness and success became proficient with her disability. This success story is not only for Hellen but also for people who broke the block inside his (hers).

To sum up, it is difficult to overcome from a good condition; therefore, we might brave to move forward for self actualization purposes.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task I : Housing owned and rented in UK [5]

Appreciate for correction :)

The given chart below shows the information about the housing owned and rented in 1985 and 2005 by British people.

However, the overall growth numbers of housing in UK increased dramatically in over 20 years with fascinating number by 22 per cent increasing.
In 1985, the pie chart also showed private owned housing as the top most percentage by more than 50 per cent while social housing became the least by 10 per cent resident prefer lived there. On the other hand, people who chose for stay in the council rented were 45 percent, and in the private house lived was 25 percent.

The differences of each group member occurred in the next 20 years period. Despite decreasing number of council rented housing, yet there were rising number among trends. Privately owned housing increased to nearly 75 percent while privately rented reached 15 per cent and 5 percent is gained by social housing.

• 
  Housing_owned.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / IETLS: The revolution of nuclear technology brings huge merits and also demerits [3]

To what extend is nuclear technology a danger to life on Earth, What are the benefits and risks associated with its use.

Nowadays unchangeable energy sources stock becomes less, while nuclear technology appears as new impressive source energy beside fossil fuel. Evidently, this feature raises paradoxal view relating to the essential and the destruction factors followed.

One of the benefits of nuclear technology are for valuable source using to ensure energy for human basics. In the previous, some countries fulfill the dweller electrical needs with extending energy of fossil fuel or with exploiting the natural resources. Indonesia State Electrical Company (PLN), for example, uses voltage regulator modifying fossil fuel become electrical energy. This way viewed has number of weakness because cost production is tailed by oil fluctuation price. However, this view raises desire for some countries to develop nuclear energy to fulfill the domestic needs of electricity. Iran, western Asia country, recently develops the nuclear technology for domestic electricity consumption. Policy to use the alteration of nuclear is seen as effective decisions which need little of nuclear atom for produce huge energy.

Nevertheless, nuclear also has the weaknesses. The huge power, covered by petite nuclear atom, has drawback and it is very sensitive exploit. However, not only nuclear explosion influences human until the smallest entity but also the radiation itself causes degenerative consequence, while there is impossible way to reform. For example, the Chernobyl tragedy or the Fukushima burst has horrific impact for locals surround. Residual of nuclear causes dead of creature or strange mutation which cannot predict. However, the impact also influence environment. Ecosystem affected by atomic nuclear transform to irregular structure that unnatural.

In conclusion, the revolution of nuclear technology brings huge merits and also demerits. It is wise to proper the entire stabilization of cycle in the sphere before decide developing this feature.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: Earnings in London City [6]

last night I already post this essay but I can find in my treads
appreciate for some corrections, thankyou

The schematic below was portrayed revenue comparison between male and female in London City for 1985 and 1995 in several sectors including commodity trading, banking, insurance, and currency dealing.

The chart uncovered London city total revenue in 1985 was around 3,355 million pounds. This number was more doubled in 1995 by 6,710 million pounds. However, it interesting to seek more what sectors of financial contributes more for this increasing. The data emphasized Banking sector donates the least, while the currency dealing becomes the top most with more than 50 per cent of total revenue.

Thus, more than 10 years the gender was contributed for the economic movement. The average of annual salary for male and female executive in 1985 was different around a half; the similarity was for insurance sector by 20,000 pounds. Moreover, the condition was almost similar in term 1995. The differences between gender salaries caught in several economical fields, excepting in currency dealing with 8,000 pounds.

In other hand, the movement of income of each gender between 1985 and 1995 is merely no more than tripled. For examples, female executive in banking gains 8,000 pound in 1985, then dramatically increase to 22,000 pounds in 1995. In addition male executive who works in currency dealing, earns 15,000 pounds and rose become 40,000 in the next 10 years.

In summary, total earning in London City depended on the gender salary increasing in each financial sector.

• 
  earning_money.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task II : Briton vehicle developing [3]

The Briton ownership vehicles in 21st century are unstoppable, since the invention in 1888 nowadays rises become 29 million vehicles in British road. However, the new mode of transportation and also regulation should be pondered to anticipate this rapid growth in the future.

The growth of transportation cannot separate with the increasing of economics that makes people afford personal mode of transport. However it related also with city density and pollution. The executives, with full scheduled job, have highly movement that makes them suddenly moving onto another place, whether this is one of the reasons personal cars using. In other hand, environmental effect cannot divide directly with this phenomenon. Increasing of vehicles means enormous carbon dioxide in the air. Air pollution has degenerative effect of global warming. It can be reduce with highly awareness of dweller to become friendlier with the environment embody; prefer to use public transportation.

What is more, to dealt with this problematic should be present effective concept soonly. Government should be re-arrange manufacturing law rules to limit production of highly poisoned vehicles. It is seen as an effective ways to motivate a friendly environmental invention for automotive fabrication. In other hand, pursuit inhabitant to use public transportation is should be still promote more. The unique feature can interesting passenger to join in, while this can effectively reduce the number of congestion, such as British Electric Vehicles (BEV). BEV released in 2005 and become public vehicles which contain with electric locomotive that can reduce the harm effect of air pollution. The other way to reduce personal cars is augment the tax which reduces intention to ride for inhabitants in the crowded city place.

Overall, the strict regulation to control the car using should be take an serious not only for a while but also for sustainable period.

Writing Feedback / IELTS task II : Illiteracy rates by region and gender; 'it was tearful' [12]

The chart below shows estimated world literacy rates by region and by gender for the year 2000.
Write a report for a university lecture describing the information below. You have to write at least 150 words.

answer

The bar chart below portrayed the estimation of world literacy by gender and region in year 2000. However, there are four groups of region which take part in this survey beside developed country including; Caribbean, Oceania, sub-Saharan Africa, Arab states, and South Asia.

Based on the gender skill of literacy, it was tearful that the greater part of unskilled to write and read placed by woman, with almost more doubled proportion than men in each of measurement. However, in the developed country and Caribbean the proportion between gender illiteracy was neighboring by 15points. It is concluded that the other huge number already well illiterate.

Most of population in the developed country is familiar with reading and writing ability. It is proven that the number of literacy skill in develop country was fascinated with approximately zero in illiteracy. However, Caribbean and Oceania inhabitant who cannot write and read become middle groups by fewer than 20. In other hand, apprehensive portion of illiterate come from Sub-Saharan African, Arab States, and South Asia. Inhabitants, in those three regions, were poor of literacy skill with no more than 30 points.

Overall, we can conclude that Non-globalizers country have big assignment to improves the literacy skill among their society, primarily for women who become the first teacher in the family.

• 
  world_literacy.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task II : Accepting Change Vs Resisting Change [5]

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can cause this? What solution you suggest? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

answer

It is an astonishment that people keep in circling comfort zone, whether world changing force most of inhabitants to take a challenge. Unconsciously most of them are inward the bottom of Marlow hierarchy needs.

The schematic of Maslow's hierarchy needs, depicted with shape of pyramid, divides needs of human become five layer including; physiological, safety, belonging, esteem, and self actualization, those are chronological. What is more, comfortable feel in a stage yield unenthusiastic circumstancing live for them. Thus, people who have been worried about "stomach" tend to pursue salary, while the type, position, career path, and job satisfaction become unnecessary. Nevertheless, workers who have changing embryo rise their behavior in order to challenge him/herself. This type of workers usually finds job which dealt with their passion because of self actualization purpose. For example, Walt Disney has been decided becoming a cartoonist while banker is looked a luxurious job for society.

The possible solution should be reflected personally but probably developing from parenting style become proper. Parents have to invested curiosity and also passionate desire for their children. For example, Parent initiates children to take a part in many competitions which suitable with their aptitude probably, modeling, sports, arts, or science. Moreover, it can be stimulate child's sense of changing.

In the nutshell, I believe that change is the essence of humankind, while it should be began from the childhood.

Writing Feedback / The worlds friendliest city [3]

Team of social psychology from university of California has spend six years research about reaction of inhabitants around the world in the different situation. In the result people in the low economic rate are kinder than another wealthy citizen. Rio de Janeiro, known as it criminalization, comes highest, while Lilongwe, capital of Malawi, at the third.

This inquiry rise from simple question, what makes one city friendlier than another?. The psychologist from California State University claim that environment contribute more than culture or nationality.

Psychological investigation wants to see more how inhabitants treat foreigner in more than 23 countries in the world. The team sleuths their investigation in the sequence of assessment, whether pretend action with dropped pen or asked help to crossing the street.

Thus, the study inferred that resident in tranquility way of life are friendlier such as Rio resident. During the investigation, team got help by 93 per cent cases, while in Lilongwe was only little lower. In contrast, Amsterdam and New York deemed to least at this investigation, with 43 percent and 53 percent aid each. The psychologist found that in these cities, people have little time and tend to hurry in their daily, this condition caused ignorance stranger often occur.