Undergraduate /
Cornell Arts & Sciences -- Interests [7]
Here is something about commas I'll offer for you -- something not-so-important, because your writing is already very good...
Always believing science to involve objects of life, I was intrigued to later find out that only through the dead (no comma necessary) did we find out more about the living.
...only through the dead do we... ---- it goes straight forward, like a spear thrust.
Also, "believe to be" is a common phase, but it almost sounds awkward when you write "believe to ... involve..." bu actually, i think this is okay.
However, the tense needs some consideration:
Always having believed science to involve objects of life, I was intrigued to later find out that only through the dead did we find out more about the living.
Now, finally, let's look at the meaning:
I thought science was all about physical things (i.e. physical science) and THEREFORE I was surprised to learn that we can only learn about the living "through the (study of?) the dead."
This expresses some things that are not true, and it is a "non sequitor" because the belief that science involves physical things does not seem to have much to do with this insight about learning about the living by studying the dead.
I see what you mean later in the para, so it is okay, but this sentence has room for improvement.
Anyway, your writing is great already. I am only leaving this feedback as a thank you for the many people you have helped... I am afraid the deadlines has already passed, and this is already submitted?
:-)
