Undergraduate / Shifting to a different city? Commonapp / Signicant experience [6]

Hey guys. please review and suggest?
i really need some good advice on it.
thanks-

Prompt- tell us about a signficant experience one?
We gorged on the famed kebabs- my elder sister and I- as I chortled on my father's frequent banters. He tried to ameliorate the mood on the dining table. I missed her, my mother, who was miles away from our new home. I missed her eyes, the ocean green-blue marbles I could get lost in forever, and her sweet vanilla attar; one could smell distinctively when she would enter the house. I had always been the mummas-boy and not much of a father's-son, and moving in with my father from a small town into a "Big City", at a tender age of 10, was challenging. It was a totally alienated city; the big, tall buildings, the fancy, shiny cars, and the well dressed, tacky people.

Transcending from a class of 10 to a class of 50 student was pressuring and depressing. I became a sulky, side-bencher in class, from an active, mischievous and topper student. Books became my friends, silence my voice and solitude my soul. I would spend all the by myself, weeping over the sweet nostalgic memories of the past. I became an autist, keeping to myself. The news of the shift to Big City was a shocker. The exposure since the very childhood made me more accepting towards the bitter truth of my family.

Seeing me spend months in my imaginarium, by father took me with him to meet his childhood friend, Uncle X. On entering his house, it was as if I had entered a golden treasure trove. I soon noticed that the golden sheen was coming from the gold medals that reflected the tacky L.E.D white light giving it a golden lustre. Few hours after the random conversations, Uncle X told me about his passion for tennis . He also told me how he, along with my father, went for the one-day stealth trips to play the tennis tournaments and return back without their parents even getting a pinch of thought about their absence and at the same time maintain their top national ranks in the sport. I was awed and inspired, but frustrated at the same time- how could my father forget to mention about him being a nationally acclaimed tennis player?

On my first day at tennis academy, my coach said that I was rather impressively better when compared to the new admits. Perhaps it was my father's athletic genes that were dominant, rather than the ones of my mother's self-absorption. Within a month I was transferred to the intermediate group from the novice one. Gradually, tennis became my getaway from the real world, where I could escape from the reality of a broken family. Escaping the realism, I focused on tennis to feel better about me and get better at the sport as well. My father encouraged me to join the Drama classes taught in a park, nearby. I could express my emotions there without any hesitation and hide myself behind my character. I was better at it than anyone else.

By the age of 16, I had become a master in deception. I could amaze people with my portrayal of emotions in a theatre ensemble, and had climbed the ladder to reach the national level in tennis. Although, the broken home had some banes, I converted the chi to make it work my way as a boon and come out as a better, stronger and a smarter me. This shift to the Big City helped in defining me as a better human being.

Undergraduate / My mother has been a role model ; Williams SE- looking through the window? [6]

guys. please help me make this a williams standard essday.
critique and suggest if i should scrap this essay alltogether.
any andecdotes i can use? what else can be done?
as of me, i am happy with the beginning and the ending.
meh.

I see the broken glass on the floor. The bright sunlight sifts through the window and reflects through the broken glasses, shining like a thousand little diamonds. The sparkle blinds me momentarily as i stoop down to pick up the shattered (family) photo frame. I look through the window that sifts the sunlight, going down the memory lane.

My mother has been a role model in our house as my father, a civil service official, was usually posted in different cities for work. She would make sure that we could feel the absence of father. Amidst starting her own school and working for it day and night, she would make sure we didn't lack behind in our education and sports. Every day in the evening, she would send us, my elder siblings and me, to the nearby stadium and get us trained by an athletic coach so that we had a healthy body. When we would come back, she would sit with us and administer our studies, ensuring our wits were sharped as well. The school was her other child whom she worked for day and night. She singlehandedly took care of her children, did the household chores and run the school as well. I could hear her pray for the strength to do her daily chores, every night and yet I could only do a diminutive part to help her in every way.

I blow the glass particles off the photo frame and keep it on the table. I pick up each broken piece of glass, one by one, so as if recollecting the broken fragments of my past. I put the shattered pieces in the disposable back, bracing myself for the forthcoming life. I am what my mother has invested in me. I am ready for the coming world, knowing that the hand of my mother is on my back.

Undergraduate / Interest in Bio; Cornell Sup - College of Art and Sciences [8]

I hope it answers the question well.
Please, read, review and critique ASAP,
help me with mine and i shall help you with yours.

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study

500 word limit-
current word count0 499
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Since the childhood, my family has had a unique fascination with plants and animals. Although, my mother did her master in microbiology, she couldn't begin her medical studies because of her marriage. However, her love for plants and animals increased day by day ever since. We have had 2 cows in our backyard, which gave us plenty amount of pure, fresh milk, free from the preservatives. We have had 4 pet dogs of different breeds, 2 parrots, 2 hamsters, 1 pigeon and a surfeit number of plants of different flora and fauna. With a kitchen-garden attached to our house, our house was the powerhouse of fresh dairy products and vegetables. Even so, we could also call our house a small ecosystem and therefore, growing up there interested me in Biological Science since the memory of my childhood starts.

My interest in Biology evolved at the age of 13, when my pet dog developed a tumor. It began with a small lump and soon grew into a palm-sized malignant tumour. She was operated upon every day and the tumor was surgically removed from the mammary region. While the veterinary doctor operated on her in the clinic, I nursed her to health at home. After every surgery, she was too feeble to walk so I would carry her in my arms everywhere and even feed her with my own hands. I would put the surgical sterilized gloves and clean the opening of the wound with a cotton swab dibbed in spirit, followed by putting anti-bacterial on the area, to prevent the bacteria from setting in. Looking at me clean and cover up the wounds, the veterinary doctor commended me on the finesse of my work and complimented me by saying that I had a hand of a surgeon. Taking care of my dog made medicinal science more alluring to me. I was sure by then that I wanted to be a doctor- to save life and give new ones.

While introspecting for this essay, I didn't know how to start. Suddenly, in the back of my mind, neurons fired across synapses and signals triggered my memory: I abruptly recalled my childhood memories. I had known my interest and passion all along. The working of the entire human body has always enticed me, especially the human genetics. Just like any tealeaf-picker plucks the best tealeaves from a plant, in the same way, I plucked the biological sciences at Cornell's College of Art and Sciences because of its phenomenal Biology Department, known throughout the world. Sharing a common interest with Professor Erik Alani in generic modulation of DNA recombinant, I want to join the Alani lab and help him with his research on the MMR proteins. As a young researcher, Cornell with give me the opportunity to utilize its resources and work in its world class labs under the phenomenal professors. When I see myself tomorrow, I see myself in Cornell, following my dreams of working in Prof Alani's under his great mentorship.

Undergraduate / The Diary of Anais Nin; H,Y,P Supplement [11]

"There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do. And whenever I fall, I rise and try try try"

-The Diary of Anais Nin, by Anais Nin

"Genu Valgum or the knock-knees" The doctor's words resonated in the clinic as I, an 11 year old, was trying to figure out the pronunciation of the word. ga-nyu waal-gam? geehnu wellgum? My father, however, looked rather worried. The icing on the cake was that I had flat-foot as well - a condition that obstructs most leg movements including sprinting, swimming and even dancing. This provided excellent explanation for my funny dance steps. However, my restriction on sport was something of a shocker as I had recently started swimming in an attempt to overcome my hydrophobia and h and had been a fervent tennis player. The doctor, while telling us that surgery was unnecessary, blatantly stated that I would never be able to play any sport properly.

My treatment began the very next week; I had to wear huge boots with custom insoles to school. Hoping for a miracle, the custom insoles were made for my sport shoes as well. In addition, my parents hired a physio-therapist. In school I was pelted with questions about the shoes, only to become the laughing stock. "Troll", muttered people as I passed by. I had become the social outcast, the boy who was avoided. The pain of wearing those shoes was so excruciating that I had to remove them every 10 minutes. Soon negative thoughts pervaded my brain "You have knock-knees and flatfoot, you can't win eitherways". The thought that I couldn't play had created a mental block.

After a frustrating few months I decided to forget about the deformity completely. I focused all my attention on practicing for the upcoming swimming and tennis tournaments. I removed the correction-insole from my sports shoes, without my parent's knowledge. I tried to grasp the art of compartmentalising, and made a conscious effort not to think about my visit to the doctor. Initially, I did stumble a lot, but considered it a problem with the tennis court surface, assuring myself that sprinting would be less problematic. I didn't improve in a day, a week, or even a month. It took a lot of time, deep breathing, and self-motivation. As I broke the barriers that I had mentally created, I could finally play, and play well.

In the ASISC State level athletic meet, I was competing against my competitor for the gold in back stroke, having a good lead over the others. With just 15 metres from the finish, my feet and hands started to give in, to the thought. Scared, I tried to flapper through the last few metres only to see the competitor pace by. In the back of my mind, neurons fired across synapses and signals triggered, forgetting everything else. It was just me, my competitor and the shiny little gold medal that reflected in the sunlight. I plunged harder and reached the finish. I had won. I had won not only the gold in the swimming meet but also against the thought that became my biggest deformity.

I remember my doctor telling me, without hesitation, that I would never be able to play a sport again and yet today I am a state level swimmer and a nationally ranked tennis player. All I needed was to believe. Even if I stumble today, i rise up and try try try.

Undergraduate / Like jellybean, Mac contains has a unique flavor; Why mac? [3]

so, although the thought was interesting, i couldnt implement it properly.
also, there might be few errors in relating jellybean and the quality-

What factors have led you to consider Macalester College? Why do you believe it may be a good match, and what do you believe you can add to the Mac community, academically and personally

I ripped open the bag and colourful jellybeans exploded everywhere. Each jellybean reminds me of the Macalester College. Just as each jellybean has a unique flavour, Mac consists of every unique flavour.

Born and brought up in India, I have never had an opportunity to choose the subject of my curriculum, as the government has always decided for me. I believe that the most valuable education I can receive is the education I obtain by my own initiative, curiosity, and passion. It is Mac's liberal arts curriculum that really entices me. Studying at Macalester would allow me to combine my passions and take courses in Biology, Psychology and Human rights and at the same time. Pop. I eat a jellybean for the curriculum.

While researching about different colleges in senior year, Macalester College caught my eye. Being an extensive traveller, I knew I would only fit in well in a college with diversity. Mac is a college where one can sip Japanese tea, eat British cakes, while listening to the spicy Indian story of a girl with an African accent, on the beautiful lands of America.. With students from over 95 different countries, Mac is one of the most diverse college on the globe. Pop. I eat another jellybean for diversity.

Mac is located near the beautiful Twin Cities. As an international student, my parents are scared about me attending a college in a foreign land. It gives them a relief to know that the city where Mac is located is amongst the safest cities in U.S.A, as listed by the Forbes magazine. To me, giving back to the community always comes first. Mac has a unique orientation tradition known as "Into the Streets," in which members of each first-year course go into the Twin Cities community to see how their course topic connects to the Cities. The city also offers a wide range of research and internship opportunities to bring out a person out of its cocoon. Pop pop. I pop in two jellybeans; one for the safety and another for innovative learning.

Mac has always been a trendsetter. It was the first college in the whole of America which hosted the flag of the United Nation on its campus. For astronomy enthusiasts, there is an observatory and one can also catch a beautiful view of campus and the Minneapolis skyline off in the distance. Mac knows that there is still a child in every person's heart, which is why it houses the Children's Reading Room which is full of favourite childhood books, tiny chairs, stuffed animals, and huge bean bags. These gems in Macalester College only add to the plethora of mystery than is calling me to go on a hunt for. Pop. Pop. Pop.

Pop. Pop. Pop. I see myself spending my next 4 years in Macalester College, meeting extraordinary people, being a Scot, exploring the resources of one of the world's best colleges and having every opportunity to transform my life's possibility. My ultimate goal is to share my wealth of unique characteristics with a large group of people who share the same desire. I still have many jellybeans describing why I and Mac are perfect for each other. In my eyes, Macalester College is the right place to go to find this group of people.