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Posts by somysojan
Joined: Jan 19, 2013
Last Post: Feb 5, 2013
Threads: 8
Posts: 14  

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somysojan   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS : museum is for education or for entertainment? BOTH [5]

question: some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people,while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate.discuss both views and give your own opinion.

museum's role in today's world



Museum is considered to be a depository for collecting and displaying objects having scientific,historical or artistic value.Many people have the opinion that a museum should stand only for imparting information, whereas some others assert that it should be an amusement area to make people happy. To my mind, an acceptable museum is something which satisfies both educational as well as aesthetic need of an individual, irrespective of their gender,age and believes.

Firstly, a museum is the best information reservoir of the past. It brings tremendous opportunities for us to have an insight about prehistoric life by seeing the exhibited specimens.Precisely, learning something by seeing is much more efficient and that glues to our memory for permanently than learning by reading books. For example, prehistoric stone sculptures or certain tools which are showed in a museum passes on great information to the visitors to have a significant insight of those things than that of reading of those online or on books.This is the reason why many people asserts to restrain museum as only a means of educational tool by governing its importance on imparting knowledge.

On the contrary, the argument of seeing a museum as a means of amusement is also to be discussed. Because, the specimens which are exhibited in a museum can have great artistic value and those can make people entertaining to a great extend.For instance, an old drawing of Leonardo da vinci or Raja Ravivarma,has great aesthetic value and which is adorned on the wall of a museum can bring about great joy to the visitors.

Finally, it seems to me that, both the arguments which are listed above have its own importance regarding the concept of a museum. So a museum should be an institution which is for both education and for entertainment. Why because the visitors of different gender,age and interest are equally satisfied by the use of a museum. Moreover, the hike in the number of visitors can provide the museum more lively and also provide a significant proportion of revenue for further modification of the museum.Thus it should attract more people of various places by fulfilling their needs to a very large extend.
somysojan   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / Childcare training course for parents. Agree or Disagree? [7]

your essay is good but in introduction you did not emphasize your own view whether you agree or not. more over try to make sentense simple. which allows readers to follow easily.. you tried to use some special vocabularies nicely in this essay.. try to explain topic sentences with relevent examples. best of luck..
somysojan   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: all parents should take children training courses [5]

i think it would be better if you agreed to the question to list out your ideas perfectlty.. but instead you put some opinions which are quiet weak in order to prove your argument.. any way..you tried well..best wishes.
somysojan   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) necessity of child rearing programs for parents? [3]

Q: Childcare training course for parents can be the best way to update them to bring up their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

In today's world, child rearing has become one of the prominent issues among our developing societies.Majority of parents find it difficult in caring for their own children owing to the influence of current life style. In this essay i would like to agree to the point of the need of special training programs for parents to facilitate their attention towards their children.

Generally, child caring is considered to be a natural process as all creatures in the world practice. However, when it comes to human beings, especially in this sophisticated era, many children in our world don't get enough attention from parents in their developing age. The main reason for this trend is either due to the busy working schedules of parents or the emergence of nuclear families. In nuclear family, the absence of grand parents hinders the appropriate nurture of children as they can contribute a major role in effective child care. These all problems unanimously point out the need of some special training programs for parents in providing better aid for their child.

The implementation of child care training programs can bring about many positive changes in our society. Firstly,due to the effect of training,parents can acquire some tips on how to make use of their limited time in caring their kids.For instance, going for outing with children on holidays or engaging in some games with them, make them feel more attached to their parents. In addition to that, by learning about the type of care needed for each and every stage of children's growth and development, can be instrumental in enhancing efficient child rearing.

In a nutshell, child care training has its own significance in the developing of each child in this modern world by imparting well updated information to each parent. So let us cross our fingers for the betterment of each and every child and so do the whole world with the effect of such training initiatives.
somysojan   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Countries develop economies improve living standards.degradation social values [6]

Economic improvement boost country's growth in all sectors. It eradicates unemployment, poverty, homelessness, child labor and so on. Though it has advantage some people believe that it will diminish vital social values

i think u have not mentioned your opinion in your introduction.

in this essay you should list down the advantages of countries growth and disadvantages such as lacking social values, explain both seperetely and provide appropriate examples.

in conclusion you should clearly mention the abstract of what you have written on the body.

good luck
somysojan   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) pros and cons of technology in human life. [3]

Question: Some people think that technology improves the quality of life. whereas others feel that creates new problems that threaten the quality of life.Discuss both these views and suggest your opinion?

Science and technology have great influence in human life since their inception. A lot of technological advancements have been taking place day by day, and which clearly reflect on peoples life styles both positively and negatively.This essay focuses on some pros and cons of technological advancements, and asserts the need of reducing the precarious outcome of it for the rise of a risk free society in future.

Technology is considered to be the one,is developed to reduce the effort of people.Which provides countless visible advantages for human beings. It is conspicuous that from paper clips to ultra-modern space crafts work on the principles of science and technology. Moreover,people are much relay on the benefits of this and a life with out computers, vehicles and other tech-applications is unable to imagine.Thus it is obvious that, now the human life runs with the beats of these advancements.

However,at the same pace technology brings some threats to people.For instance,the inventions of weapons especially nuclear war gadgets are extremely dangerous for the existence of the entire life forms on earth. In addition to that, an increased use of motor vehicles causes the contamination of our ecosystem, and thereby which directs certain problems such as global warming and unsteady climates.So the in appropriate application of these advancements will lead us to tremendous problems.

To my mind, the appropriate use of technology by taking the positive effects and by ignoring the cons, can bring about great changes in our life styles. By promoting global peace by anti war campaigns can counter the use of weapons.Also, making an awareness in individuals about the hazardous outcome of increased fuel emission from automobiles can be instrumental in avoiding threats associated with global warming.

In a conclusion, the advantages and disadvantages of science and technology is purely depend up on the way in which which is applied. If it uses for goodness then it gives good results.Lets hope for a world without enduring the dangerous outcome of these inventions in near future.
somysojan   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Economical developments degrade Social values? [4]

The developmental programs of a society bring with increase in living standards along with decreased social values. In this essay, I will explain why I feel the disadvantages of these changes overweigh the advantages.

let me suggest this way as its an introductory sentence and it should have a punch.

Nowadays, many nations spending a major proportion of their economy in society developments. This trend brings about some changes by improving life styles and reducing many of our social values. In this essay....

If it is uncontrolled, it may result in the monopoly of these firms and the distraction of the local culture and market.

it may monopolize such firms and thereby causing the distraction of indigenous/aboriginal cultural values and market.
somysojan   
Jan 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) effects of electronic games on children [4]

Question: Children nowadays prefer electronic games to other games and toys. Why is it happening? Is it a positive or negative trend?
In the present scenario, majority of youngsters incline to pursue computer games than that of conventional plays. I believe it is due to the advancements in science and technology, and which leads to a number of adverse impacts on children's lives.

The unprecedented changes in science and technology give rice to the invention of many amusement gadgets, especially gaming devices. Nowadays, these applications are highly influenced by young children, as those offer much lively graphical effects along with less activity needed for playing. For example, some computer games are available in three dimensional formats with higher sound effects and picture qualities, attract a large number of youngsters. Moreover, majority of these games are easily downloaded from the internet without any loss of money.

Playing games on computers or other devices bring about many adverse effects on kids. Firstly, it hampers a child's academic excellence to a very large extent. Moreover, games of extreme violence can take away many of the emotional values from youngsters. For instance, one who plays shooting game continuously becomes less emotionally sensitive to real world crimes. These may lead to reduction of some good qualities; sympathy, empathy, and generosity from them. Finally, sitting continuously in front of computers causes some serious health hazards such as visual problems and obesity.

In a nutshell, from these points of view, computer games have become a big menace for young world. So it is high time for parents and teachers to be active in reducing children's affinity towards these games.
somysojan   
Feb 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) effect of mobile phones on young children. [12]

Question: many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Give your own opinion?

In this super-connected world, mobile phone serves an important role in the field of communication. Today, everyone has their own cell phone including young children. Even though these gadgets have both positive and negative effects, I am of the view that mobile phones have an adverse impact on youngsters.

Firstly, cell phones have many advantages. Other than talking or texting, it provides many applications such as access to the internet, camera, songs, calculator, torch light, and so on. Out of which children can make use of the internet as well as scientific calculator application as a means of their studies. For instance, many English learning students use mobile phone GPRS facility to log on to essay forum in order to improve their writing skills .So mobile phone helps children in many ways because of its convenience.

On the contrary, cell phone has become a major threat in children's life. These gadgets diminish the academic interest in students. In addition, the potential of the loss of moral values in youngsters due to the exposure of unhealthy stuffs on the internet is a matter of concern. For example, obscene contents on the internet have a negative effect on young children, and now mobile phones serve as a great reservoir of such contents. More over gaming, chatting and so on are of having their own ill effects on young kids.

In my opinion, the cons of mobile phones are very large in number compared to pros in children. So it is high time for us to control the affinity of young children towards these gadgets in order to mould up a better generation in near future.
somysojan   
Feb 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) effect of mobile phones on young children. [12]

i thik its not an agree or disagree question.. it demands both advantages and disadvanteges along with our view..that is the reason why i have listed both aspects.. but i could not elaborate my own view in this.
somysojan   
Feb 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) MODES OF LEARNING OTHER CULTURE AND TRADITION.. [2]

Culture Travel Abroad



Travelling abroad helps us to come across many lifestyles. Learning about others lifestyle helps us to have a better understanding of the place and thereby, which helps to make a better relationship with the people. This essay focuses on the ways how other cultures and traditions are learnt and the reasons for some people's specific interest in learning other customs.

To begin with the possible methods which help people in learning alien culture and tradition. Firstly, collecting as much information about the place, including its history, geographical features, socio-cultural characteristics and so on. Books and the internet are the best sources for such information. In addition to this learning it is essential to be with the aboriginal people and learn things by seeing. It could be the best way of understanding as it helps to provide a better insight of the culture due to the direct exposure. For instance, by eating traditional food items or involving in some cultural programs, we can have a better understanding about the system efficiently.

Some people put an extra effort in learning other customs, while other shows no interest. This may due to several reasons. Those who wish to settle in a place, tend to express great interest in studying their culture. Another reason might be those who engage in research on other culture, make the use of all advantages in learning about these cultures than those merely visiting the place like ordinary visitors.

In conclusion, understanding of other culture and tradition is of great importance. It helps us to adopt the better aspects of it's in our lifestyle. Moreover, other tradition helps to promote a sense of fraternity among nations, which in turn contributes for the global peace.
somysojan   
Feb 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / THROW-AWAY CULTURE IS GOOD OR BAD? - IELTS [3]

Nowadays a growing throw-away culture causes people to throw away their goods and replace them with new, latest technology ones available on the market. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this culture for our society.

The advancements in technology gives rise to an over production of goods.This may cause excessive consumerism and there by the development of a throw away culture,which tend to buy new devices by trashing or replacing their old one's.This essay focuses on the pros and cons of this dumb-away culture.

To begin with the advantages of buying the latest models of commodities.Firstly,by come across with latest types of any gadget may help us to be more attached to the dynamic world and can easily get along with the ultra modern advancements in the field of technology.One another major advantage of this culture is that,which helps to avoid certain negative impacts of old version products.For instance,in olden times, refrigirator was one of the major cause of the emmission of chloro fluro carbon,was said to be the cause of ozone rupture.Nowadays advanced refrigirator has been invented without causing any damage to nature. By buying such echo friendly products, it is quiet easy to retain the natural balance.

On the drawbacks side, this kind of practices may lead to excessive financial loss.Majority of products cost much higher during the initial sales and gradually the price value decreases.So buying things soon after its arrival may seriously affects the overall economy of the society.More over this culture is having a great negative effect on the equlbrium of ecosystem. For example, the excessive trashing of materials those are unable to decompose such as plastics may leaves serious threats to the ecosystem.

As this trend of" throwing old and buying new" has both positive and negative impacts,i am of the view that, the manufacturer of such products should arrange possible way to re-cycle their old products and make use of these in making new versions. This helps to reduce the cost of production and price of that particular product along with protecting our nature.
somysojan   
Feb 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS;"Charities in developed countries should donate to underdeveloped countries" [5]

you follow a good essay structure.

you could rephrase both the arguments effectively.. which you had taken from the question, to make it more nice..

you could also include one good point in second body paragraph, that international aid might be
futile, as it could have reached in corrupted hands.

good luck..
somysojan   
Feb 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - there is a great gap in between the living standards of the people of cities and villages [4]

Question: Living standards in cities are much higher than those in rural areas. Why do you think this is so? What do you propose to improve the living standards of people in rural areas?

Cities are large and densely populated area, whereas villages are rustic and focus on only on agriculture. The standard of living in the urban region is much better and complicated than it is there in countryside. This essay focuses on the reasons for this statement and also the possible measures to amend the lifestyles of the agrarian life.

The main reason for the good standard of living in the metropolis is the effect of the inter-mixing of multi-cultural communities. A city is a combination of both aboriginal and alien cultures, which causes the adaptation of many good lifestyles among the dwellers. Moreover, the urban area comprises of many good educational institutions, well-developed communication facilities, which are also instrumental in the betterment of the living standards.

However, rural communities are mainly relay on agriculture as a means of livelihood than on any business or co-operate jobs. So the scene of living standard in this folksy culture is just opposite to what we see in an urban life.

By implementing several measures, the rural standards can be improved. Establishing basic educational facilities for the children in the villages helps a lot. For instance, many villages in India still suffer from illiteracy due to the lack of elementary educational institutions. So literacy plays a major role in developing a well-standard community in countryside. In addition to that, the accessibility of communication facilities and media, such as television, newspaper and the internet are also highly backing in terms of improving the living standards.

From the above statements, it is clear that there is a great gap in between the living standards of the people of cities and villages. So it is crucial to provide essential concerns on the development of rural culture in order to develop the whole nation.
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