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Posts by Habib Rastegar
Joined: May 21, 2013
Last Post: Jun 12, 2013
Threads: 8
Posts: 17  
From: Iran

Displayed posts: 25
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Habib Rastegar   
May 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Which one do you prefer? A student-based class or a lectured-based class. [5]

Would you mind correcting the plausible grammatical errors? (please rate my essay from 30)
Yours sincerely,

There are different types of classes in the educational system in each country around the world. Some students prefer to attend the lecture-based classes (teachers do all of talking). Others, however, like to participate in student-based classes (students do some of talking). If I were forced to agree with one these two conditions, I would rather to stand behind the later. As far as I am concerned there are the following most three reasons.

To begin with, in the student-based class, students have the opportunity to hear different ideas. In this kind of classes the teacher presents a topic and he or she wants from students to discuss about it and his or her students have to describe the advantages and disadvantages of the topic. Thus, students are willing to participate to discussion and they are able to state their opinions to other classmates. In this type of classes, definitely, student would learn how to give a lecture in front of others and they also will gain the required knowledge and skills for his or her future.

Furthermore, one student or their teacher can't dominant the class. If one student dominates the class, others have to sit on their desks and listen to their classmate and they probably lose their lecturing ability. The most important factor which makes the students active and does not allow a person dominant the atmosphere the class is competition. When they compete with remain students, they are encouraged to begin presenting their ideas and defence his or her opinions.

Last but not least, by presenting oral lecture, students make their future brilliant. Nowadays, most of jobs require interview and students have the opportunity to learn this skill in their classes at high school or in the university. They can learn how to reduce their stress and overcome their problems by giving oral presentation and talking about your own personal ideas in the presented topics. So, they can acquire fundamentals requirements to succeed in finding their future occupation process.

To sum up from what we have discussed, we can draw a safely conclusion that, attending to discussion and lectures are beneficial for students because they daintily hear more various ideas from different students and they can use these experiences to become succeed in the close or far future.
Habib Rastegar   
May 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / "Made in China"; Fake products produced in China [3]

In addition, China has an advantage in population that other countries do not have

China has an advantage which is reated to its population that other countries don't.
Habib Rastegar   
May 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL :Which do u prefer living in an apartment or living in a dorm? [4]

Many students during their university years either live in the university dorms or in an apartment.

Many students during the university years are able to live either in dorms or in an apartment building
[quote=Max Payne]Living in one them has it's own advantages and disadvantage
each of them has it's own advantages and disadvantages.
There are a lot of punctuation marks problems in your essay.
I seriously invite you to read the Barons series books to understand how to write an essay in the TOEFL format.
Best,
Habib Rastegar   
May 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / Share the Dorm or Choose my own Roommate [5]

Topic: You have been told that dormitory rooms at your university must be shared by two students. Would you rather have the university assign a student to share a room with you, or would you rather choose your own roommate? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

Please rate my essay.
Best,

There are different students with different cultures and tradition backgrounds in the international universities all over the world. They are forced to divide their room dormitories with other student(s). Some students allow the university to choose their roommates. Others, however, like to assign their friends by themselves. If I were forced to agree with one of these two conditions, I would rather to strand behind the latter. As far as I am concerned there are three conspicuous aspects that I want to explain as follows.

To begin with, students who are volunteers to select their roommates, they definitely have this chance to choose people who are similar to themselves. I think it is easy and conveniently to make relationship with similar students, because you and your partner have a lot of things in common. Common features are the most important factor which permits you to strengthen you relationship with your new guest. It is not essential to spend too much time to get knowing him or her characteristics and personalities. It is also a great opportunity to make friends swiftly with students who are from other cities or even foreign countries and you are able to learn new things from them such as their language and customs.

Furthermore, you are allowed to choose students who are in your field in university. If you could select some people who are in your department or even in your field, you would take account on his or her help at the difficult situations during the semester. Imagine you want to prepare yourselves for the midterm or final exam and you may be have several problems in that course, what would you prefer to do? The person, whom is able to assist you, is your classmate who is located in your room. Thus, your friend and you are able to read, to perform their own assignments, to answer the teacher's questions with each other simultaneously. In other words, you can help each other at the times of need. Your roommate will extend his hands when you are fallen in a bad situation or a problem.

Last but not least, if you allow the university to choose your partner randomly, you might confront with many hardships in the close future, suppose you have a difficult exam tomorrow and need complete quiet. But your roommate cannot understand your condition and he or she invites their friends to his or her room to play card all together, what would you do? Another instance is that you are sick and have a harmful disease and your doctor prescribes you to rest and eat nutrient foods. But your friend is a crowded person and makes too much noise and harsh voice, what would you want to do? Absolutely nothing. You must tolerate these problems to reach the end of semester.

To sum up from what I have discussed, we can draw a safely conclusion that it is beneficial not only for students, but also for university to allow students to choose their roommates according their interests. Because, both pupils and university managers face with few problems in the period of the educational years.
Habib Rastegar   
May 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Students from rural areas find difficult to receive higher education [5]

attention of the public

public attention

to receive the education that they should have received

to continue their education which they are deserved for them.

, etc.,

and so on or and etc (don't forget preposition and

Therefore, it is the university that should be the first to shoulder the responsibility to provide equal rights to let all youngsters

Therefore, the university should perform the required actions to provide the availability of universities for young rural students

to take measures

To use strategies

it is highly suggested

It is highly recommended

every student

all students
Habib Rastegar   
May 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: The development of a coastal village [3]

The given diagrams depicts

The given diagrams depict

The given diagrams depicts the transformation of an European coastal village into a huge tourist resort from 1974 to 2004

The given diagrams depicts the transformation [process] of an European coastal village into a huge tourist resort from 1974 to 2004

Along the coastline that was nearly empty in 1974 located many newly constructed hotels

Along the coastline that was nearly empty in 1974, now, however, many newly constructed hotels are located

The variety of the words are excellent and the sentences structures are very good
Please make short your phrases to allow the readers to follow you in the essay
Best,
Habib Rastegar   
May 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your own [4]

Please correct my own probable grammatical errors, and of course rate it from 30.
Thanks so much.

University is the most important part in each city like the heart inside the human body. Establishing a university in my own town has both its advantages and disadvantages. However, I strongly agree with the idea of constructing a new university in my own community. As far as I am concerned there are the conspicuous aspects as follows.

To begin with, university brings with itself money. If a university is established in my community, many students and professors definitely would migrate to my metropolis to continue their education. Certainly, educators especially freshman students need dorm or houses to be located. Thus, they have to pay money to staff of the university or college to reserve a room in dormitories. They also need foods and fruits to eat. Thus, they have to refer to hypermarkets or big malls to purchase their fundamental requirements to be able to have power to continue their personal lives. Moreover, money must be paid by the students to buy their university books and take their courses at the beginning the semester. So, students as well as university are the sources of budget for people of my community.

Furthermore, not only students but also other members of the university can be familiared with my culture and traditional backgrounds through attending my community university. Nowadays, world is like a small village and people migrate from their countries in dreams of finding better career and educational system to other countries which might are located in other continents. If a new university were established in my community, there would be many international students in my own city. Additionally, there are a lot of captive historical places in my settlement such as museums, monuments and shrines. Therefore, foreign students have the opportunity to visit these places and learn new things from our customs and culture. When they come back to their countries, they will state our memories about my traditions to their family and friends. Therefore, my people's culture can be known to others through university and students.

Last but not least, university can bring traffic and noise. As a new university is established, the population of my town will increase dramatically and the numbers of the cars and other sorts of public transportation will boosts, too. The outcomes of population increasing are noise, harsh voice, and traffic congestion. Cars and other kinds of vehicles produce and emit smog to the environment and this smoggy air is the causes of many harmful diseases. Traffic can be accommodated with mental and physical illnesses due to harsh noise and probable accidents.

To sum up from what I have discussed above, we can draw a safely conclusion that university is a two-sword knife. It can enrich my own community and other people to make knowing my cultures. However, it can polluted the air and bring mental and physical diseases. In short, the advantages of establishing of a university in my own university overweigh the disadvantages.
Habib Rastegar   
May 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: profits from natural resources make people ignore to preserve natural world [4]

There are a number of reason causing this issue and each problem needs to be dealt in a particular way.

There are a number of reasons which are the causes of this issue. Each problem needs to be dealt in a particular way.

a lof of money

a lot of money=too much money

In addition to that

in addition (to)
Habib Rastegar   
May 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again" - TOEFL essay [9]

that people should try, try again

should try again and again

Possibility to master something from the first try is very small

The possibility of doing for the first time is low.

In order to learn it you will make mistakes

In order to learn it, you will make mistakes
Habib Rastegar   
May 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / college and university should be available for all students or only to good students [4]

Topic: college and university should be available for all students or only to good students?

Nowadays, most people like to enter the university or college in order to increase their knowledge and find their career. Some people believe that college or university education should be available to all students. Others, however, think that higher education should be available only for good students. If I were forced to agree to with one of these two conditions, I would rather to stand behind the former. As far as I am concerned, there are three conspicuous aspects as follows.

Firstly, university and college encourage students to change their habits and behaviour. There are two kinds of students at schools: clever and weak students. The university, class environment and powerful students are the most important factors which can influence on the weak pupils to improve their life style. When lazy educators see the clever students, they unconsciousness wan to compete with them to increase their knowledge and their social status among their classmates.

Secondly, educators with low IQ are able to help their country. Students whom with low intelligence can attempt hard and hard to increase their knowledge by pay attention to their own professors and performing their assignments and projects duly. Therefore, they can increase the scientific level of their country by employing their experiences in the industrial fields and companies. For instance, I have a friend who he poor and he had to work all the day to pay his tuition and buy his school books at high school. Thus, he did not have enough time to read his books and do their homework and he got low scores in all of his courses. But when he entered the college, he could change his habit and pay more attention to his education. He could invent a instrument which helped the disable people to move from one point to another point. If he could not go to college, he was not able to devise that machine.

Finally, if only clever educators are allowed to attend the university, the crime rating is increased. Weak and average students are not permitted to continue their education higher; thus, they definitely disappointed and lost their confidence. They maybe kill themselves because they are not successful in their scientific fields. They also might consume substances which have bad effects on their body and on their healthy. They probably become a killer or a professional thief, because they are not able to find their career in the technological and developed society. They are exposed to the mental diseases that are very harmful not only for the individual, but also for the society and even country.

In short, all types of the students have the equal rights. They have to be allowed to enter the college and university to increase the scientific level of their own country and improve their personality. Attending university for higher education can indirectly lead to reduce the crime rating in advanced countries.
Habib Rastegar   
May 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Importance of studying History in school. [3]

These days

Nowadays

History

history (with small letter)

few

few people

History has declared an optional subject. People do not like to study it, and only few select it willingly

These sentences are very vague.Firstly, you should write a topic sentence to present your main idea and after expand it with details, examples.

Such as if history of Ireland is to study

want to study

most of the situations happening these days

most studies are happening

Such as

these days or will happen in the close or far future
For example,

because

put a comma after because

,

delete the comma

Therefore

furthermore or additionally or finally

lack

lose

History teaches them the facts of life along with ranges of skills

where is the verb of this sentence?

In conclusion, I must say History should be a compulsory subject for children so they will know better about the world they live in. And, various techniques should use to make it an interesting subject.
[quote=Shumaila86]analyse

analyze (verb)

In conclusion, I

your conclusion is very short
Habib Rastegar   
May 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / Advantages of living in the dormitory rooms and apartment buildings - COMPARISON [3]

Topic: Compare the advantages of living in the dormitory rooms and apartment buildings?
Please read my essay.I am preparing for TOEFL test in 13th of July.

Students of college and university usually have two places where they can to live in. Some students prefer to live in dormitory buildings where are located on the campus. Others, however, may like to live in apartments in the community. Both choices have advantages and disadvantages.

To begin with, students like to live dorm rooms. They have to share their rooms with two, three or even roommates. Therefore, they have the great opportunity to meet different students with different traditional backgrounds and cultures. They also can make new friends with other dorm students. They have the chance to share their rooms with people whim have the similar academic interests and field. Moreover, the dorm buildings almost always are located close to the class buildings and departments. Thus, it is not essential to pay money for public transportation. Students are able to use various on-campus facilities such as restaurants, snack bars, and libraries and rooms which are allocated for the reading.

Furthermore, apartments are spacious and larger than dorm rooms. If you are a rich student, you have the choice to live in the apartment buildings in the community. These places are very large and spacious and it is not necessary to share your suit with others. You are allowed to pay the rent money and live in. These places usually are located in the heart of the city. So, educators access to all things that they need such as hypermarkets, public transportation, restaurants and fruit stores and large mall. Therefore, living in the apartment buildings are very conveniently.

Last but not least, livings in dorms are conveniently, too. Since they are located on the campus which is close the class buildings. You can get up early and do your exercise and eat a complete breakfast whether in your own room or in the restaurants which are placed on the campus and finally go to your classes on time and without stress. You can spend most of your time with your friends in the university environment and meet your professors whenever you want. In addition, apartment buildings are located in the town and you can meet different people in the community and you can make new friends who live in that metropolis and learn new things from them like their language, cultures and so on.

To sum up from what I have discussed above, we can draw a safely conclusion that, dorm and apartment buildings ate the best places for the students. They can spend most of their time in the dormitories. University administrators are willing to invest too much money on constructing new dormitories to ensure the all students that they can employ on-campus facilities.
Habib Rastegar   
May 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Report an island before and after construction [5]

The two maps illustrate

The comparison of the two maps

change of an island

the changes of an island

the development for tourism

the development of tourism industrial

with the build

with the constructing many buildings and other facilities

To begin with, the first map describes the land before construction with only trees in the east and the west of the land

To begin with, the first map describes the land before construction with only trees in the east and the west of the land
Habib Rastegar   
May 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; In our society child's education have never been a simple task [9]

that, children

never need comma

Some people argue that, children should be taught to be a value member in their community by their parents

Some people argue that, children should be taught to be avaluevaluablemembemembers in their community by their parents

claim school

others claim that

especially in early period of their life

specially in early their own ages

each individuals has to

each individual has to

Besides that

besides (that )
Habib Rastegar   
May 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Some people think that family has more influence on the young adult [3]

Topic: Some people think that family is the most influence on the young adult. Others believe that friends are the most important influence on the young adults. Which one do you agree?

Please rate my essay. I will be taking a TOEFL test soon.

Thanks so much,

Members of family are the first individuals who have more beneficial affects on their own adults. Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Others, however, believe that friends are the most important influence on young adults. If I were forced to agree with one of these two conditions, I would rather to stand behind the former. As far as I am concerned there are three conspicuous aspects as follows.

To begin with, family members are the first teachers for their own adults. Parents are the first persons that teach their own adults the fundamental social roles. They teach them how they can respect others or how they can behave with strangers and their own relatives in different situations. Parents, sister(s) and brother(s) of young adults have the opportunity to teach adults how they can talk to others or even make new friends. Family is the first organization that children and adults begin growing up and learn more essential and required skills such as the way of eating food, the way of responding to others needs. Eventually, adults can be taught how to prepare themselves for their schools and how to find their future occupation. Young adults can recognize the wrong action from right one. They can use the assist of their family to fiend their favourite marriage partner in their future life.

Furthermore, parents spend more time with their adults. Since youngsters don't have enough experience and skills in both personal and social lives, they prefer to ask a lot of questions from their parents and even their own brothers and sisters to gain necessary information. Therefore, they have to spend more time with their own family members to propose their quarries. Parents want their adults to behave and treat according to their parent's trends. Thus, parents pay attention to them carefully in all probable situations.

Last but not least, friends can have most important influence on the young adults. Because adolescence is a duration which youngsters prefer to become independent from their parents, they want to spend more times with their close and best friends. Adults have a tendency to share their secret problems with their close friends to find solutions. In addition, they spend more time with their friends at school. For instance, they read their own books and perform their assignments and prepare themselves for the midterm and final exams. They attend to class with their own friends to learn new knowledge. They also have the chance to make group team to play games with each other at school or outside the school like football or basketball and volleyball.

To sum up from what I have discussed, we can draw a safely conclusion that, the influence of the family on the children and adults overweigh the friend's influence. Young adults spend more time with their family at home and outdoors and their parents are the first teachers for them in their social and personal lives.
Habib Rastegar   
May 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / Governments money for artsists; 'Artists have been seen as talented people' [7]

Artists have been seen as talented people

Artists are talented people

many people believe that government should have incentive to them while others, including me, argue that this policy is not fair at all for other occupations

many people believe that government should have incentive to them,

While others, including me, argue that this policy is not fair at all for other occupation
As shall I debate,

As I shall debate
Habib Rastegar   
Jun 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / The role of teacher in modern society [6]

The world changes day by day and there is no doubt that the modern society is not the same with an ancient one

The world is changing day by day and there is no doubt (undoubtedly) that the modern society is not like the ancient one.

For example, education system has changed completly (completely ) - nowdays (nowadays) being teacher does not mean only being a helper in difficult process of getting education; it means being creative and highly talented "guide", which accompanies a student in all way of studying

The sentence is very long and the reader become tired very soon
Habib Rastegar   
Jun 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / World is like a small village and people, especially students, decide to go abroad for study [4]

Why many students choose attend schools and universities outside their home country

As the technology is growing up, the world is becoming small and smaller. Nowadays, world is like a small village and people especially students decide to go abroad to continue their education. Why many students choose to attend schools and universities outside their home country? As far as I am concerned, there are the three conspicuous aspects as follows. They go to foreign countries to find better career, better life and finally they need attention from others members of the society.

To begin with, a lot of educators want to go abroad in the hope of finding better and proper job. In the developing countries, most of the educators face with a lot of problems when they want to find their appropriate occupation. Therefore, they prefer to study hard and take the required tests such as TOEFL and GRE to travel to other countries or even to their continents to find a high-paying job. For instance, I am living in a third-order world country and I have a master degree in electrical engineering field and now there aren't any profession for me and I have many financial problems in my personal life. Thus, the best option for me is to apply for other colleges and universities in order to find job. So, if I had profession, I would make money and form my life and I would realize my dreams such as purchasing my favourite car and house.

Furthermore, students travel to foreign countries in the dream of having better life. I live in a country where goods are very expensive and there is too much inflation in the society and we don't have any export and import. Thus, we confront with a lot of problems in our private and social life. Students are the part of the society who doesn't have much money to spend their life and they prefer to migrate to countries where the things such as foods, renting, price of the home and cloths are pretty cheap. Since other countries propose free dorm or house and give them fund, students are willing to go abroad to live.

Last but not least, the educators from schools, colleges and university need public attention. The top managers of the government have to pay attention to the problems of the students and choose options to solve them. When students see that they don't have a high statue in their community, they prefer to live in countries that people respect them. I, myself, for example, live in developing country in the Asia and my professor always does not have time to talk with me. He almost always is busy and does not any attention to my request. Therefore, I prefer to continue my education in a university that the teachers and staffs pay close attention to my problems and do their best to solve them.

To sum up from what I have discussed, we can safely draw a conclusion that pupils migrate to other countries in the hope of finding better occupation, life and form their family as soon as possible. Additionally, they like the other parts of the society pay close attention to them in order to find solution for their dilemmas.
Habib Rastegar   
Jun 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / Where would you prefer to live? Small town or Big city; existence of facilities' [3]

Where would you prefer to live? Some people like to live in a small town. Others, however, wish to live in a big city. If I were forced to agree with one of these two conditions, I would prefer to stand behind the latter. As far as I am concerned, it is easy to find your proper career in a big city. Living in metropolises is easily and conveniently. And finally, you have the opportunity to learn new lessons from the people who are living in your surroundings.

To begin with, people prefer to live places where there are a lot of jobs opportunities. In the big cities, there are a large number of companies and factories which need engineer and workers to work. Thus, youngsters can register to the entrance test of these industrial places to find their appropriate jobs. For instance, I live in a big city and I am a students. Thus, I can work in the universities to make money and continue my own life.

Furthermore, livings in big towns are easily and conveniently. Since there are a variety of facilities in the big cities, people can do their daily works without any problems. For example, there are several types of public transportation; thus, people are able to move from one place to other place in a fraction of minutes. In addition, there are extremely large malls and shopping in the big cities which provide the fundamental goods for the daily usage of the people. It is not also necessary for young students to travel to other cities or abroad to continue their education; they can study in their own university and college, if they live in big cities.

Last but not least, in big cities, different people with diverse traditional backgrounds and cultures live close to each other. Therefore, settlers have the chances to get accustomed with unknown customs and cultures. People who live in big cities are able to make new friends and intensify their friendship through their frequently meetings and appointments. Thus, individuals enable to learn several new languages from their partners and friends in their office environment or in their neighborhood. They have the opportunity to find their proper marriage partner among the people who live close to their houses or neighborhood.

To sum up from what I have discussed, we can draw a safely conclusion that, the advantages of living in big cities outweigh the disadvantages of it. People like to live in big cities such as the capital of their own country or in the advanced cities which include improved industrial. Because living in these cities are conveniently due to existence of facilities.
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