Scholarship / QuestBridge biographical essay - "Here's one special skill you won't see on my resume" [10]

Please let me know if you thought the metaphor I used was original. Since this is a biographical essay, obviously the topic of narrating my life won't be too unique. I just want to know if the first line and the way I wrote the essay piques your interest, and any revisions and advice is appreciated! The limit is 800 words and right now I'm at 793.

Here's one special skill you won't see on my resume: I can hear my memories in the form of music.

It began on December 16th, 2006, the day my grandmother and I, with approximately fifteen English words between us, boarded a plane in Beijing to Tampa, Florida, where my mother had immigrated to a year prior. The first piece in this musical photo album was a melody used for three songs: Twinkle Twinkle, the alphabet song, and Baa Baa Black Sheep--the extent of my English skills. In January, I was thrown without ado into the second half of second grade. No one looked or spoke like me. I clutched my three songs closer, put my head down in books, and didn't look back up until I had won my class's vocabulary contest three months later.

Like all children of immigrants, I grew up before my time. I learned the language of landlords and car salesmen and tax forms before turning ten. During this, I struggled with my ethnicity in an overwhelmingly white school. Rallying against stereotypes, I painstakingly memorized "Fifty Nifty United States" and sang it in my choppy accent for music class. (I was still an outsider, but hey, it wasn't a complete waste--to this day I can still recite all fifty states in twenty seconds.)

The summer after fifth grade, we moved to a suburb near Detroit for my parents' jobs, when the turbulence of adolescence began. I did not handle relocation well. While I had friends in school, I dropped most of the extracurriculars that I had flourished in because my parents had no time to drive me. Feelings of inadequacy compared to my peers and insecurity about what we couldn't afford began and would continue for years to come, and my family life began its slow decline.

My father, who'd followed my mother here to support her endeavor of becoming a doctor, felt trapped and unproductive. He longed to be doing surgery in China; instead he was doing mind-numbing lab work in a country where he didn't belong. Meanwhile, I was sullen, impatient, and stopped talking to my family in favor of my computer. Three years later, he left for a new surgeon position in China. Said he had to make something of his life, said a man's calling will always be in his career. I didn't think this would affect me; after all, it was only "temporary". He still hasn't come back, and I had never been more wrong.

A rocky transition into high school, my family seemingly falling apart, and one of the worst winters in decades culminated in seasonal affective disorder. I was frustrated and angry with myself, stubbornly denied that I was unwell, thought I had no right to feel this way. It wasn't until my mother heard me sobbing late one night that she found out I had been like this for months. The music, if I had to describe it, would not be a melancholic ballad. It would not be poignant, nor tragically poetic. Those words imply beauty in darkness, and for me, there was no beauty.

Slowly, however, the soundtrack of my life was revived. It started small, just a timid, single-string violin melody at first. Then, a piano would key a few bars of harmony, adding depth. Then the drums kicked in, picking up the pace, and finally, to announce my triumphant return, cymbal crash! Well, not so much a crash as a haphazard clang, and not so much triumphant as a shaky hobble. But I was back, and I didn't intend to go away again anytime soon.

My mom achieved her goal, miraculously landed a residency position in Buffalo, New York. We moved again. This time I was grateful to leave bad times behind. Junior year was approaching, and I was going to work harder than ever to compensate for the two years I'd already lost. There was still lingering bitterness: Why did I have to get sick? Why didn't I have this clarity of mind earlier? If I had been a better daughter, would my family be whole?

Those thoughts have no power over me now. I've learned throughout my life and especially in my recovery that I can't change how the music of the past sounds. I'm still learning, because my newfound success is meaningless if I do not evolve and aim for constant improvement.

I can't hear the music of this time right now, but I know it will be there. It's never fully formed in the moment, much like how it's impossible to determine what the future will be. I simply try to compose a score that will add substance to my collection. This is my song to write, and I'll make it a good one.

Scholarship / QuestBridge National College Match Short Answers [3]

Please tell me if the first 2 short answers are specific enough and if the 3rd fits the prompt of "intellectual curiosity". Do my answers paint a distinct picture of me as an applicant, or would I fade into the rest of the essays the admissions officers read?

1. Describe which single activity/interest listed above represents your most meaningful commitment and why. (400 characters; FBLA = Future Business Leaders of America, and was already defined as such, so using an acronym is no problem)

Although business isn't for me, FBLA brought new dimensions into my life. It gave me my first leadership opportunity to make independent financial decisions for the club. It was my first experience competing nationally, standing onstage before 12,000 people, accepting my award. I adapted to an administrative role, gained experience and ambition, and met people whose passion inspired my own.

2. What are your career goals and how did you develop them? (400 characters)
Working in a drug research lab by myself and rarely getting new results made me realize I wanted to take a front-lines approach to healing people and seeing their tangible recovery. Personal experience with mental health issues and self-studying AP Psychology were especially formative for my interest in psychiatry and medicine in general. I also read doctors' memoirs for insight on the profession.

3. Tell us about a concept, theory, or subject that has piqued your intellectual curiosity. What steps have you taken or do you want to take to further explore that interest? (200 words)

My interest in American history and politics is fairly recent. As the 2014 Ferguson riots polarized the country, I, childishly cynical and lacking moderation, believed I didn't want to learn the history of "old white men" at all. But as I watched the arguments over Black Lives Matter unfold, I realized cynicism will never lead to progress. Watching articulate debates and contrasting those with other blustering, emotion-heavy arguments taught me that thorough knowledge of the facts is vital in using civil, intelligent conversation to prevent divisiveness. Even though I'd already taken regular US history, I decided to take AP US History and also AP Government and Politics to get the facts before I can productively contribute to the conversation. I highly anticipate taking part in activism in college, especially because all through high school I've been limited by my parents' disapproval. I'm also lucky enough to be able to apply what I learn in class to the 2016 election. Now, for the first time, I feel invested in this country and in my future of working to ensure that the American narrative will never again be told only by, as 14-year-old me put it, "old white men".

4. If you could meet a character from a book or a historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them? (200 words)
Dear Mr. Harvey Milk,
On my first day of senior year, I was mistaken for a freshman exactly seven times. And yeah, I'm barely 5'0 with a round baby face to match--a special kind of disadvantage. When you're at the intersection of gender, race, and sexuality--and, to be honest, stature--as I am, the world's scrutiny is like a mixed bag of shame. I'm working on it, though, just as the world is steadily working on it too. If you saw how far the gay movement has come since 1978, would you even believe it? Would you tell us to not get complacent and to keep fighting until true equilibrium has been reached? At what milestone would you declare equilibrium achieved? What role would I, small and lacking an air of authority as I am, play in it?

But it doesn't really matter, does it? I'm not in it to make history or leave a legacy. Take some of the gravitas away, and it gets less scary. I stop worrying about how to make myself loom larger to make an impact. You were simply fighting for what is right, as you were, and I'll do it too, as I am.

Undergraduate / Stanford Supplement - critique content/style [3]

Please tell me if these responses give you an idea of who I am as a person, and if they would stand out from other apps.

1. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better.

I'm nocturnal, and I don't wake up gracefully. If our schedules match, I'm sorry you'll have to drag me up, but also congrats on definitely beating me to the shower. Coffee won't help either; I can't handle caffeine--if I need to stay up late to study, green tea after dinner does the trick.

I don't really eat on a normal schedule, so if you never see me eat lunch, rest assured, because another thing you don't see is me covertly consuming my weight in chocolate during class. I can only concentrate when I'm eating. There's something about feeling the solid shape of chocolate giving way to creamy goodness as it melts, and tasting the decadent richness with which I have been blessed--what? I said eating helps me concentrate, I didn't say what I'd be concentrated on.

Evening arrives, and the substantial free food comes out. I've honed my mooching skills into an art. Come on, grab your stuff, we're gonna score big.

It's dark now and our windows are open, and I want to talk, want to trade ideas and let intelligence and incoherence and inquiries flow. I want to know about your major, book recommendations, new food at your favorite bakery. I want to listen to your thoughts, maybe change your mind on something, and perhaps let you change mine.

I'm nocturnal. The only thing better than basking in the night's calm is enjoying it with a friend. I am content in this moment, and I hope you are too.

2. What matters to you, and why?

What do a Japanese volleyball anime and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart have in common? For most people, probably nothing. For me, this unlikely pair holds a world of significance. Yet for everything that I love dearly, part of that love comes from envy. I want to be on the most elite team in the Miyagi Prefecture. I want to be in the writer's room working on an iconic monologue with Jon. Maybe it's the starpower; maybe I'm drawn to fame and want to experience the admiration I hold for others. Or maybe I am drawn to success. More accurately, I am drawn to how others have achieved success. The volleyball team taught me the importance of never wasting a moment of practice, because the regret that comes after defeat tastes like bitter ashes. I internalized the perseverance the volleyball players showed, and it got me through eighth-position passages on the violin that shredded my fingertips and pages of calculus problems solved again and again until I was satisfied that regret would not come. Jon taught me how to articulately make arguments, how to extract humor from somber topics, and how to dissect hypocrisy with the razor-sharp precision that made him the most trusted man in America today.

So, fictional volleyball and political satire matter. Learning unconventionally matters. And knowing that I too can succeed with the unrelenting effort and clarity of mind I have gained from those unconventional sources--that, to me, is what most matters.

Undergraduate / Columbia Supplement - 1. Why Columbia? 2. Why these majors? [2]

These are my Columbia supplements. For #1, please tell me if I am being specific enough about why I like Columbia. Should I mention fewer Columbia activities in order to go into more detail?

1. Please tell us what you value most about Columbia and why.

Vitality. That's what Columbia means to me: an active connection with the world that aligns unerringly with my curiosities and goals.

With the SURF program, I can continue the genome annotation or cancer drug research I did in high school, or take a new direction and study biological bases behind social behaviors. Here, I can put into practice the inquiry skills I learned in Frontiers of Science. The Charles Drew Society and the Columbia Medical Brigade will familiarize me with challenges faced by minority medical students and patients in countries where healthcare is most needed. I will encounter socioeconomic and cultural influences in healthcare policy and learn of the politics behind medicine, which will shape me into a more compassionate doctor.

I want to explore LGBT in Literature Humanities through Aristophanes's commentary on homosexuality and the role of Sappho's sexuality in her poetry. Another renowned classic, The Columbia Spectator, recently published an article on the inclusivity of Columbia's LGBT scene that resonated deeply with me. My race and affinity for science were always rifts between me and the mostly white and arts-centric Gay-Straight Alliance members. I'm excited to join Columbia Queer Association and Proud Colors, but I also want to start a chapter of oSTEM, a national organization that supports LGBT students in STEM. I want to create this safe space so others won't feel torn between those disparate elements of their identity, and to offer to younger kids hope and confidence that I struggled to find alone.

So, as a message in a bottle to myself, to the best self I can be in these four years and beyond, to the lessons I will embody and redistribute, to the cosmopolitan yet specialized Columbia: I would be honored to cultivate your vitality as my own.

2. For applicants to Columbia College...
One essay at one time please

Undergraduate / Cornell CAS essay - seemingly-divergent TV shows and interdepartmental learning [8]

Please tell me if I should be more specific with what each show has taught me. Thanks in advance :)

Haikyuu & The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

What do The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and the Japanese volleyball anime Haikyuu have in common? Not much, I admit, though from them I have learned my most valued lessons. But it is precisely the unconventionality of this pair that represents my capacity to learn broadly from all that I experience. I will build upon my eclectic approach of pursuing knowledge at the College of Arts and Sciences, where multidisciplinary learning lies at the core of education.

I am drawn to the complexities and mentalities driving people's actions. When I watched Haikyuu, I was analyzing, almost instinctively, how the volleyball players dealt with losses, how past failures guided their approach to training and technique, and how I could assimilate their determination as my own inspiration. Likewise, I revered Jon Stewart's famed skill of exposing hypocrisy, and dug into his biographies to examine how his success and intelligence came about, how majoring in psychology and a difficult relationship with his father may have fueled his commentary. Dissecting these factors gave me the ability to understand and empathize with human behavior. Meanwhile, The Daily Showintroduced me to social issues like global feminism and human rights violations. I began to question the causes of corruption and violence beyond the effects of nurture. I wanted to explore human nature in the context of our most intrinsic, chromosomal compositions. I also wanted to study intellect from outside the brain's gray matter. How did life experiences alter rationale of our actions?

At CAS, I want to pursue both neuroscience and sociology. Together, they form a complete narrative of how human behavior is formed and influenced. In the Neurobiology and Behavior concentration, I can explore the origin of all thought and behavior through Molecular and Genetic Approaches to Neuroscience. The next level consists of the changes our nervous systems undergo as we come into contact with outside factors investigated in the Sociology major, such as discrimination or poverty. Courses like Gender and the Brain, Neural Views on Mental Illness, and Mass Incarceration and Family Life supplement each other in studying psychiatric disorders and the consequences of incarcerating the mentally ill. I plan on pursuing psychiatry in the future, and a strong biology background interwoven with humanistic understanding will shape me to be more insightful and perceptive as a doctor. Together, my passions are the links between science and humanity, and Cornell is the force that unites them in intricate, overlapping parallels.

The fact that all the courses above are crosslisted in other areas such as psychology, gender and sexuality studies, and American studies demonstrates Cornell's interdepartmental style of learning. Just as I acquired elements of two seemingly-divergent TV shows to become who I am today, I will drawn upon elements of many different programs at CAS to weave together a cohesive educational plan. This will challenge me intellectually on a level beyond simply learning the material; I will also envision and create a path for myself instead of relying on a pre-determined structure.

Throughout this journey, I can find support in my professors and fellow students. The mentorship program MEDSCI and the Biology Service Leaders will provide me with the advice of older students and pre-health resources. On the other hand, I can gain experience advocating for social issues by participating in service-learning trips with Alternative Breaks, and serve the Ithaca community with Into the Streets. Not only will I have incredible flexibility in my course of study, I'll also have boundless opportunities to apply classroom knowledge in affecting tangible change.

I want to be a part of a community where education is organic and heterogeneous, where the philosophy of "any person, any study" emanates from all settings, and where "learning unconventionally" becomes simply learning, period. With the immense resources at CAS, I will find many more Haikyuus and Daily Shows to cultivate my passions and lead me to new worlds.

Undergraduate / Northwestern's global presence and its inner niches... What aspects of Northwestern appeal most to m [5]

Should I write a short introduction at the beginning? Am I too focused on academics and not enough on why I genuinely like Northwestern?

Prompt: Other parts of your application give us a sense for how you might contribute to Northwestern. But we also want to consider how Northwestern will contribute to your interests and goals. Help us understand what aspects of Northwestern appeal most to you, and how you'll make use of specific resources and opportunities here. (300 words)

Northwestern's versatile quarter system allows me to double major in Sociology and Neuroscience, creating the strong scientific background interwoven with humanistic understanding that is essential for me as a physician. The Biology Allied Field of the Neuroscience major guarantees a solid biological foundation, while the electives allow me to explore both nervous system mechanisms and human behavior in ways that reinforce one another.

The substantial investment in undergraduate research grants me incredible autonomy. I plan to get involved in a department lab in my first year and apply to the NEURON program in my second year with my mentor. I particularly would like to join the Affective & Clinical Neuroscience Laboratory, as their work on mood disorders relates to my interest in psychiatry.

Through Sociology, I can study how stratification of opportunity based on gender and class affects one's life and behavior with field studies right in the Chicago area. The Health, Medicine, and Science concentration provides fresh insight on my intended profession, especially in healthcare politics through courses like "Social and Health Inequalities." I'm also interested in Professor Steven Epstein's work regarding social movements, sexuality, and biomedical research. I will take full advantage of the accessibility of faculty to discuss with him topics that spawn intellectual inquiry in both of us.

Whether it's the unparalleled academic resources, concerts at Pick-Straiger, networking with the Purple Mafia, or simply journaling by the Lakefill, the direction of my future lies here. Beyond just scholastic achievement, Northwestern's global presence and its inner niches culminate in an environment that fosters personal growth and bestows upon me the best of all worlds.

Undergraduate / Yale Supplement: Having fun with learning something [5]

Do my essays answer the prompt well? I assumed that most people would write about something academic, so my goal is to stand out with my answers while still showing my personality and valued traits to the admissions officers.

2. Reflect on a time in the last few years when you felt genuine excitement learning about something. (200 words)

Driving improvement

Click goes the key. The control panel lights up in pixelated primary colors, the engine roars, and although it's just a Honda CRV, I feel invincible.

Driving was a multifaceted impetus for growth. When I started learning, there were unexpected obstacles: whether I could reach the pedals (I'm barely five feet tall) and the covert jokes in my driving class about Asian women being bad drivers. However, the scrutiny only made me more determined to succeed and amped up my anticipation for my turn to drive during class. I practiced as often as I could, and soon an innate understanding awakened. It must have been what athletes feel when their corporeal kinesthetic sense aligns with the brain's perception, except a humming motor was my throwing arm and the world was my ballpark.

Driving demands constant improvement, and the learning never stops. Every drive is a new scenario for me to hone my attention to detail and make split-second decisions. Though my destinations are commonplace, it is how I spend the trip that gives driving significance and thrill. Indeed, the journey represents tangential lessons and self-directed discoveries, and one adventure's endpoint is simply a road sign pointing to another escapade.

3. Write about something that you love to do. (200 words)

To the untrained eye, it was simply a crowded airport terminal. To me, it was a tense situation of cat and mouse, a test of wills to see whose would snap first. My eyes narrowed imperceptibly as the rival spy shifted in his seat. What was his motive? Was the symbol on his neck pillow a brand logo or a clue to his allegiance?

The boarding call interrupted my thoughts. I watched the nameless stranger tug his suitcase away, leaving behind another unfinished story.

I love people-watching and attaching fanciful explanations to ordinary interactions. Sometimes they're as grandiose as my airport narration. Most times, however, it's something simple and infinitesimal. The cashier checking her phone isn't being unprofessional; she's nervously anticipating news of her mother's surgery. The street corner beggar isn't an entitled bum; he's recovering from debilitating anxiety and it's all he can do to even be in public. This imaginative habit has instilled in me a moral principle of reserving judgment of everyone I encounter until given reason otherwise. It's a good reminder that everyone has a struggle, and even if my story of a stranger is hilariously inaccurate, that person still deserves kindness, regardless of circumstance.

Undergraduate / Yale Supplement: Something you love to do: people-watching [3]

3. Write about something that you love to do. (200 words)

people-watching

To the untrained eye, it was simply a crowded airport terminal. To me, it was a tense situation of cat and mouse, a test of wills to see whose would snap first. My eyes narrowed imperceptibly as the rival spy shifted in his seat. What was his motive? Was the symbol on his neck pillow a brand logo or a clue to his allegiance?

The boarding call interrupted my thoughts. I watched the nameless stranger tug his suitcase away, leaving behind another unfinished story.

I love people-watching and attaching fanciful explanations to ordinary interactions. Sometimes they're as grandiose as my airport narration. Most times, however, it's something simple and infinitesimal. The cashier checking her phone isn't being unprofessional; she's nervously anticipating news of her mother's surgery. The street corner beggar isn't an entitled bum; he's recovering from debilitating anxiety and it's all he can do to even be in public. This imaginative habit has instilled in me a moral principle of reserving judgment of everyone I encounter until given reason otherwise. It's a good reminder that everyone has a struggle, and even if my story of a stranger is hilariously inaccurate, that person still deserves kindness, regardless of circumstance.

Undergraduate / 'There is no point in going to college.' Why UChicago - Purpose of education [3]

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago. (The "suggested" word limit is 250, and I'm around 520, but I have seen accepted applications with essays way over the limit.)

There is no point in going to college.

Okay, that may have been too cavalier a translation of UChicago professor Andrew Abbott's 2002 "Aims of Education" address. Rather, he says that "there are no aims of education. The aim is education." Being educated is not a means to a future end; it will not guarantee a happier, wealthier life. It is for nothing but the present.

At first, I wanted to rebel against this wishy-washy wordplay; of course we must use our education for the future! Then I thought of the hours I spent browsing UChicago's website for Neuroscience research abstracts and UCIHP's pre-health opportunities--hurtling towards medical school before even being admitted to college, just as I've immersed myself in college preparation all throughout high school. Instead of "using" my education, I was hurrying to get through it to reach whatever came next.

Professor Abbott acknowledges that some people can and will go through school "mechanically" and will perhaps become doctors, whose day-to-day work is mostly routine and requires no groundbreaking revelations. So if I can still reach my goal, why even bother with education's mysterious true purpose? I have already woven together my intended path here. The versatile quarter system allows me to double major in Comparative Human Development and Neuroscience, fields that supplement each other in studying human behavior at the molecular and societal levels. I will be constantly drawing upon and fine-tuning knowledge from those courses with year-round treks shadowing Chicagoland physicians and the Biological Sciences Collegiate Division's summer research programs. I will familiarize myself with humanistic aspects of medicine through the Katen Scholars Program's community health outreach and ameliorate the real-world consequences of healthcare inequality with the Urban Health Initiative.

These experiences will be thought-provoking and fulfilling and will bestow upon me critical skills for the future, but I will be doing myself a disservice by seeking them only for the fixed entity of becoming a doctor. The aim of education is indeed not for the future or a career, but for refining myself in each passing moment. I have to rise above the idea of undertaking endeavors only for the sake of deriving some form of tangible advantage from them. Career plans deviate and skills needed in a profession change from what we learn in school; what endures is the flexibility of mind that earns no outside recognition but is invaluable in making me a more well-versed and intellectually dexterous person. Some would call this elevated view enlightenment; at UChicago, I will call it education.

I am still digesting the erudition of this address, but that I must fight to understand it validates Professor Abbott's point. The problem sets, the curriculum, the Core are simply tools. Education cannot be given, it must be discovered. Beyond simply providing the tools, UChicago strives to constantly improve its most intrinsic ethos and inquires deeper to reshape education itself. It lays bare the truth as a challenge to its students: Will you puzzle over why enlightenment slipped by in your complacency, or will you cultivate our resources to command your own revolutions?

And truly, I thought you would never ask.