Writing Feedback / People with five distinctive employment status allocating their spare time [3]

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status

men and women enjoying their life

The bar chart depicts how male and female of five distinctive employment status allocated their spare time over the 1998-99 period.

Overall, men spent a lot of their free time than women. Another visible trend is that, in some employment status such as employed part-time and housewives, just only women had spare time while men did not show any shreds of evidence for giving time to relax.

Free time hours consumed by both genders when they were unemployed and retired were the same. Men always devoted their time to relax in both two sections was higher than women. The figures were slightly over 80 hours and about 70 hours, respectively. Additionally, men were also attracted to have more time to entertain themselves than women in employed full-time. Men's involvement in this status was nearly 50 hours, whereas the figure for women was a little under 40 hours.

In employed part-time status, women spent approximately 40 hours as leisure time while there was no record for any hours spent by their counterparts. This figure rose more than 10 hours for women in Housewives status comparing to employed part-time.

(182 words)

Questions: Do I need to use past tense in all sentences?

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Writing Feedback / [IELTS Writing] Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects [2]

computer skills as a mandatory subject

Writing, reading, and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In the recent competitive market, to apply for a vacancy and to get a high salary, computer skills are considered to be one of the most vital keys in conjunction with writing, reading and maths to lead to success in one's career. As a consequence, computer skills should be emphasized at schools as well as universities as a compulsory subject. This viewpoint has my support.

To commence with, computers skills are the core element for every individual who wishes to enter the workplace. It is undeniable that every task of most of the professions requires computer skills from typing to gathering information on the internet. For instance, the marketers need to utilize every source on the internet to seek their customers and to distribute customer-group segmentation. Without computer skills, all the tasks cannot be done in the nick of time and all the related duties, hence, will stagnate.

Not only are computer skills a demand for all employees, but it is also compulsory for those who have an intention of pursuing higher education. As an educational environment has undergone significant changes over the past decades, all the lectures at the university are no longer textbooks and paper assignments. Instead of that, most of the lectures are performed by PowerPoint and students finish their assignments by software such as Word, Excel. In other word, students also need to get access to online materials as fundamental data for their researches due to online journals. In all likelihood, computer skill really plays a key role in stimulating and boosting one's study.

In conclusion, it is essential that computer skills be included in school and university's curriculum for all the benefits to people. It is also crucial for those who intend to enter the modern workplace and the undergraduate to be equipped with.

(298 words)

Writing Feedback / The question is whether the motherhood is essential in raising children. IELTS Writing task 2 [4]

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up"

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

both parents should devote their time to children

Many people have contrasting views about where mother or father should pay much their attention to grow their children than the other side. While mother plays an important role in bringing kids up in most of the traditional families, I do believe fatherhood is as vital as motherhood, especially in terms of equality in sharing works and knowledge they can both bring to their children.

To commence with, the definition of "family" has been changed over the time and recently father and mother should share their works with each other to convey the idea of equality to their kids at his or her very first stage. In my judgment, men are no longer breadwinner of the family in modern times, women can also earn money for additional expenses of their babies. On the other hand, men should also take care of housework besides their wives such as play with their children, spend time feeding babies, etc. It is likely that the children will feel the balance of acquiring care from both mom and dad.

Not only is sharing works a positive way to do their children good, but knowledge and experience they can teach their babies are crucial as well. As men and women often have different views about some specific problems, their point of view somehow takes great effect on their children's thinking. That the way mother and father give their knowledge to their children in distinctive aspects of things can trigger their kids to broaden his or her mind to a practical problem so that they can evaluate issues more objectively.

In conclusion, although many people still put this problem on top of deciding whether motherhood is essential in raising children and vice versa.
Nowadays, in many families, many mothers become a breadwinner in finance and their husbands take the time to take after their kids so the space of earning money for families and doing chores is much closer than ever. To help children develop in a proper and comprehensive way, both parents need to devote their time to children's progress.

(342 words)

Writing Feedback / Kids, youth and elders in Italy and Yemen [2]

The chart below give information on the ages of populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

age groups numbers in two different countries

The pie charts compare populations between Yemen and Italy by three categories of age groups in 2000 and prediction for 2050.

It is noticeable that the 15-59 years accounts for the largest proportion in 2000 and in 2050 of both countries. Another interesting point is that the proportion of 0-14 years decreases slightly over the period of 50 years while the percentage of 60+ years tends to increase.

In 2000, the proportion for 0-14 years in Yemen and Italy was 50.1% and 14.3% respectively, which was the largest part of Yemen's chart and the smallest of Italy's chart. Additionally, if just 3.6% of Yemen people are 60+ years in 2000, it is predicted to rise slightly to 5.7% after 50 years. This trend is also applied with Italy as there was just 24.1% people are 60+ years in 2000, the percentage is forecasted to be on the rise in 2050, about 42.3 %.

On the contrary, in 2000, people who were between 0 and 14 years of Yemen and Italy accounted for 50.1% and 14.3 % correspondingly. In 2050, this age group percentage of both countries will see a slight drop, with 37% for Yemen and 11.5% for Italy.

(199 words)

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Writing Feedback / How inhabitants in UK spent their time on separate types of telephone calls over a 7-year period [2]

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billion) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002

number of phone calling hours

The bar chart depicts how inhabitants in UK spent their time on separate types of telephone calls over a 7-year period between 1995 and 2002.

Overall, what stands out from the chart is that both mobiles (all calls) and national and international - fixed line witnessed an increase in minutes throughout 7 years while local - fixed line fluctuated its figure from 1995 to 2002.

Local fixed line calls were the highest during the whole period, slightly rising from about 72 billion minutes in 1990 to its peak 90 billion minutes in 1999. After 1999, there was a marginal decline in the next three years until it reached roundly 70 billion minutes in 2002.

There was a significant rise in mobiles, rocketing from approximately 3 billion minutes to over 40 billion minutes in 2002. National and international fixed line calls grew steadily from 38 billion to 61 billion at the end of the period.

(152 words)

Writing Feedback / Railroads vs Road Budget - IETLS CAMBRIDGE 11 TASK 2 [5]

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Railroads and Highway Budgets

Some people believe that it is a pity if governments spend their budget on improving railways instead of roads as travelling by train is not faster and convenient than driving on our own private vehicle. In my judgement, I personally agree that governments should expenditure more money on railways. There are two reasons for my perspective on this.

To commence with, railways offer safe commutation for both traders and inhabitants. The reason explains to this safety is that trains can carry numerous passengers and packages on their own railroad, which trigger it to be more securer than road. Additionally, the annual percentage of death level from driving on the road recorded is always higher than that from train. As the result, the safety factor should to be put on top of people's choice when commuting.

Equally important, rails predispose less damage to environment due to its less consumption in energy. That car, bus, motorbike and many vehicle are the main factor emit a ton of CO2 into the atmosphere annually, which can compares to the inconsiderable amount of train's emission. For instance, the fact that Singapore is one of the most cleanest country owing to its famous train networking called MRT, which encourages that nation's citizens to use less their private vehicles. Consequently, Singapore is free from not only air pollution but also congestion.

In conclusion, railways offers more benefits to us than roads but the government should take how much they will invest money on rails into account. Besides, they also have certain money on road to ameliorate road standard.