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Posts by selenakieu
Name: selena
Joined: Feb 6, 2023
Last Post: Aug 14, 2023
Threads: 4
Posts: 14  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: Le Quy Don High School

Displayed posts: 18
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selenakieu   
Aug 14, 2023
Writing Feedback / Task 1: The percentage for clothes, books, film, music and travel in online sales in New Zealand [4]

Hi @semmast
Please notice that in IELTS writing task 1, there is an appropriate way to structure your paragraph:
- Paragraph 1: Paraphrase the rubric
- Paragraph 2: Summarise the main tendency in the paragraph (Overview)
* You can combine the first and the second paragraph.
- Paragraph 3&4: Details
Hope that you can get your ideal score!
selenakieu   
Jun 27, 2023
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Do you agree or disagree that following news is a waste of time? [3]

Some people think news has no connection to people's lives. Therefore, it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch TV news programs.

To what extent, do you agree or disagree?



There is an upward trend that individuals believe that the news is unrealistic. Accordingly, reading the newspaper and watching news programs are unnecessary. In my opinion, I moderately disagree with this statement according to a number of reasons which I will mention in this essay.

To start with, more citizens are likely to neglect crucial news since tabloids are rampant in the market. Indeed, it can be seen obviously that digital news is created to attract readers' attention. A myriad of online news is written with attractive titles, and some are fake. Moreover, individuals have never undergone the same situation which they have approached on the news; therefore, they tend to believe that taking time to follow the news is wasteful. Undoubtedly, it is a dangerous tendency since people can easily be lured into social scammers.

On the contrary, I argue that keeping up with the latest news both digital and paper forms is inevitable for each individual. Without a doubt, news which is broadcasted on television or newspaper is a means of media for numerous people to keep up to date with domestic and international events. Subsequently, watching television programs will provide viewers with useful knowledge to avoid fraud and other forms of breaking laws. For instance, a widely popular online news site named "The New York Times", which does not also bring readers to events on a global scale but also consists of helpful social knowledge.

To sum up, many consider that they will not be capable of connecting with the news both online and on paper. In consequence, spending time watching the news or reading it on paper is a waste of time. In this essay, I argued why I disagree with this statement due to the necessity of understanding social events and preventing being tricked.
selenakieu   
Jun 24, 2023
Writing Feedback / E-books vs traditional books-IELTS Writing Task 2 [6]

Hi @IELTSAlt
I think you should reduce the number of words in your essay by following this structure for your introduction:
- Sentence 1: General Sentence. You lead to your essay with a sentence which summarizes the tendency of topics in the question.
- Sentence 2: Rephrase the question in other words.
- Sentence 3: Give your opinion.
Hope that my comment is helpful for you.
selenakieu   
Jun 24, 2023
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1: The seven stages of salmon's life cycle. [3]

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the salmon.


Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant


The diagram given illustrates various stages in the life of a salmon. It is clear from the diagram that there are seven stages in the life cycle of a salmon, beginning with hatching from eggs and ending with becoming a spawning adult. We can also see that the cycle remains permanent.

At the first stage of the life cycle, in fresh water, eggs hatch in about a 3-month period, and the alevins appear. The alevins swallow yolk sacs for months, then swim at 5 to 10 weeks old. At this stage, the immature fish is called a Fry.

After a period of time, the Fry develops "finger" markings, and it is now called the Parr. At the next stage, the 1- to 3-year-old salmon, which is named Smolt, will group and leave for the sea. They spend approximately 8 years at sea, and during this period they are mature fish. Finally, the mature salmon spawns and dies within 2 weeks, and the life cycle repeats.




selenakieu   
Jun 9, 2023
Writing Feedback / Some people think that when criminals are punished, they will not commit crimes [5]

Hi @ElenaDiem
You are writing too many complex sentences in your essay, but most of them are in wrong structures. I think you should write a single sentence, and improve it by connecting your two sentences with some simple words, like "and","so","but",... Hope you will make progress and get results that you want!
selenakieu   
Jun 8, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - University education and attendance to the classes question - optional or mandatory? [3]

Hi @KimieKP
You should have 4 paragraphs in your essay. First paragraph is often used to rephrase the question given. In the second paragraph, you have to mention the first statement/problem/reason/...(based on the question). Next, the third paragraph, the second statement/problem/reason/...(based on the question) has to be discussed in this paragraph. Finally is the conclusion paragraph. Hope you will get results that you want!
selenakieu   
Jun 8, 2023
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: What can be done to encourage exercising in the elderly? [3]

Question: Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise.
What are the reasons?

What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?



Healthy lifestyles are becoming widely popular with the general generation. Although experts in the healthcare domain advise that the elders should take part in physical activities on a regular basis, a great number of them ignore it. In this essay, I will argue why health and safety problems are the main factors which affect the way older people get exercise. Besides, I will provide several solutions to solve these problems.

When it comes to the elderly, there are health issues to be considered as older people are more likely to get diseases. Indeed, ailments such as diabetes or high blood pressure affect their motor abilities. Therefore, seniors are unable to do physical activities according to weak physical conditions. An obvious example is my friend's grandmother, who is at the age of 69, is suffering from arteriosclerosis. Her grandmother is unable to walk or do basic hygiene without supporters. Furthermore, safety problems are factors which should be noticed. In recent years, sports centres have grown excessively. However, these fitness centres only provide facilities which are also known as gym equipment for young people. Accordingly, weak eye sights and joints can lead to severe injuries in older citizens if they approach inappropriate fitness facilities.

In order to tackle these problems, developing a positive attitude to exercise at an early age would be a necessary solution. In short, by providing basic healthcare education for younger generations, they can build up an exercise routine which can stick to them from an early age. As a result, young people will be able to prevent the ageing process and chronic diseases. Moreover, the government should give the elders opportunities to enhance their strength by creating more walking pathways in safe areas. Even more, encouraging older citizens to do internal nourishing exercise is a great method since it can facilitate a healthy development both mentally and physically for the elderly.

To sum up, even though it is recommended to work out regularly, many older people remaining lack exercise. I argued why some issues like health and safety play an important role in the way the elders exercise. For the aforementioned causes, education, publicity campaigns and government policies are the core solutions to encourage the elderly to do more physical activities.
selenakieu   
Feb 6, 2023
Writing Feedback / A positive situation of owning a home rather than renting one [5]

Hi @han0212!
There is one mistake that I noticed in your essay is the word "theirselves". It has to be "themselves". Not only one word "themselves", the ways you write reflexive pronouns are all incorrect.

I - myself
You - Yourself/Yourselves
He - Himself (not "hiself" as you write in your essay. I do not know whether you make mistake with typing)
She - Herself
We - Ourselves
They - Themselves
It - Itself.
Hope that this comment is beneficial for you!
selenakieu   
Feb 6, 2023
Student Talk / Reading : 9.0 - Just got my IELTS result. [16]

@Shumaila86
Hi, congratulations! Can you share some tips and methods that you have used in your Reading and Writing exam. I think that 9.0 in Reading is amazing as well as 7.0 in writing. Thanks a lot!
selenakieu   
Feb 6, 2023
Student Talk / I am a bit shy, when I have to speak in English, I always worry about my mistakes; I lack confidence [33]

@phuongtran
Hi, I am using some methods to improve my Speaking skills and I wanna share with you. Mostly, I learn by Youtube. There is one method that quite helpful for me is "Shadowing". It is really easy to use and appropriate with everyone. Firstly, you pick a video on Youtube or any other websites that you are interested in. For example, I love listening to stories, so "MSA" is the golden channel I always choose when I want to practice speaking. Then, you watch and listen to the video. If you can not hear all of the words in the vid, you should turn on the subtitles. Next, you watch again but this time, after listening to the speaker, pause at each of the sentence and repeat with the same intonation as the speaker until you feel pleasure. Finally, speak with the same pace as the speaker. After 3 weeks adapt this method, I am sure that you can make progress. Hope that this comment is beneficial for you!
selenakieu   
Feb 6, 2023
Student Talk / I'm weak in English, unable to write any composition. What to do? [31]

@atiya
Hi Atiya, I used to struggle to write my essays, so I understand your feeling. There are some methods I have adapted so far to improve my writing skills.

1. I suggest you writing diary or making bullet journal in English everyday. I have started to write diary since I was at the age of 10. It quite useful as I do not need to care about grammar or vocabulary. Another reason why I choose writing diary is because it helps me burn off stress and only me can read my diary.

2. If you can not write your own compositions, I guess one of the reasons is you have difficulties with grammar and vocabulary. I think, you should learn the basic grammar on the internet first, practice writing single sentences, complex sentences,...until there is no mistake in your sentences. Then, you should try to write paragraphs and finally the whole essay. You can expand your vocabulary after these simple steps.

3. Finally, as people have said in the previous comments, reading is the best methods. Through reading, I can immerse in English and learn a great deal of new words. Suggestion: "Harry Potter", but if you want easier one: "Diary of a Wimpy Kid".

Hope that this comment is helpful for you.
selenakieu   
Feb 6, 2023
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? [3]

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies.

Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?



Studying overseas is becoming a part of undergraduate students' studies. Although going abroad to study will be more likely to put students under pressure for costs of living, it is able to help young people become independent. I opine that pursuing higher education abroad is more beneficial for youngsters despite the difficulties they will face.

By studying abroad, students will live more responsible for themselves. In home countries, most young people living depend on their parents, which is the downsize that will acquire them to step out of their comfort zone to survive in a new-whole environment. Students who were sufficiently provided with their requirements by their parents, when they move to a new country, are forced to take responsibilities for themselves to meet their needs, which helps them become more self-reliant. Likewise, for instance, I have a friend who is studying overseas in Canada. He has become more mature and gained a great deal of hands-on experience after a year studying there. These examples have given the obvious benefit of studying overseas since it makes people grow up.

However, the challenge young people will face when they study abroad is they need to work hard to afford their living. Survival in a new place which is not familiar to you is difficult. It requires you to purchase a great number of necessary goods for your demands. Without the assistance of parents, most students have to search for a high-salary job which is appropriate for them from the early years of college. As a result, they will neglect their studies which is the main purpose in order to fulfill their needs.

Without a doubt, a great number of students in universities are going to study abroad as part of their academy. While young people will struggle to suffice their living, studying overseas also leads them to personal growth. As a matter of fact, this will make the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks.
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