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Posts by kiev
Joined: Jan 10, 2011
Last Post: Oct 17, 2016
Threads: 8
Posts: 14  
Likes: 1
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 22
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kiev   
Oct 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Power of Negative Thinking by Tomas Chamorro-premuzic [2]

Dr Tomas is a psychologist who carried out research or almost a decade between people's perception on their abilities and their true abilities to do something in 40 nations across the world. Interestingly, he found there were least relations between confidence and competent. He also pointed out that up to 70% of people is overconfidence. There are two personal benefits of being overconfidence based on recent psychology publications and motivation books. First, it is feel good for people to imagine themselves as an outstanding person and secondly, these misconception may useful to help others.

However, Dr Tomas revealed that there are several dire effects of overconfidence such as gamblers and people who miscalculate their ability to pay loans and mortgage. Overconfidence has also linked to several health problems such as people with obesity issue or their addiction on smoking and drinking. Thus, his solution is that people need to maintain their low confidence for the personal advantages and for other's benefit. He added that low confidence is essential factor for people to remains humble and it is also shows their willingness to accept suggestions.

Source: youtube..../watch?v=WtjSCoq8pE4&t=284s
kiev   
Oct 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / A Day in the Life of Hollywood Paparazzi [7]

Hi Kiki,

Below some feedback from me:

It IS UNDENIABLEcannot be denied that famous people IS surrounded by (...) and capture videos without their knowledge for money purpose.

... action is really disturbing TO celebrity's daily routine ...

... is nonsense because once they FAMED PEOPLE choose their job (...) gone as it becomeS public consumption.

What is become more negative is ( how about using this lines instead: This condition is getting worse... ) when the paparazzi are ...

I hope this helps,
Cheers.
kiev   
Oct 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary: The next outbreak? We're not ready [3]

Bill Gates, in his TEDtalk, pointed out that virus infection will possibly cause millions of death instead of physical threat like nuclear weapon in the future. The problem is, there are far more investment on nuclear prevention but we are lack of system to prevent epidemic.

A particular example of lack of system was Ebola outbreak sometimes ago. Initially, there was no stand-by group of epidemiologists to examine spread of the disease and the absence of medical staff. Bill identified three reasons why ebola did not expand to a larger area, it was because the ultimately great job done by number of health workers, the virus does not spread thorough the air, and it was only concentrated in rural areas. However, he warned that there may be more and more threatening virus in the future that people should worry about.

Therefore, Bill proposed a solution to integrate all instruments into one global health system such as to take advance the use of technologies, mobile phones, and sciences. For example, he hope that new drugs and vaccines will be discovered by scientists. However, He doubt about how much the expense to carry out the initiatives, but he fairly convinced that the cost is very low compared to the potential harm caused by epidemic.
kiev   
Oct 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Anthony Goldbloom, Machine learning expert, shared his experience in TED channel. [6]

Hi Mr,

Below is some comment from me:

... learning expert shared of his experience ...

... people live which IS it not only able to task ...

This IS hard to imagine (...) able TO DO TASKS like human do.

... brought some negative impactS in people live.

Good luck of your writing progress
kiev   
Oct 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Haunting photos of polar ice (TED Summary) [4]

Hi Fauzan,

Below some of the comments from me:

... and everything is interconnected TO each other.

Iceberg is comeS from one snowflake united ...

It which is lain 200 feet in height above sea ...

Best of luck for your writing progress
kiev   
Oct 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / Internet-based social networking sites are designed to help bring people together or bring drawbacks [2]

Hi,

Here's some comment from me:

However, i agree that such communications should deteriorate individual ...

.., has proven that using Line, AN INSTANT MESSAGING APPLICATION(it may not all of reader know about line) results in an increase of stressful level of stress ...

Despite this, a positive effect of online interactions is that people can ... ( this line does not support previous lines a.k the negative effect of social media.

I hope this helps,

Cheers.
kiev   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Most of professions such as lawyer and doctor will see a significant change, as result of machinery [2]

TED Summary: The jobs we'll lose to machines and the ones we won't by Anthony Goldbloom

According to Anthony Goldbloom, in the next decades, most of proffessions such as lawyer and doctor will see a significant change as as result of machinery. In line to that, recently, researchers from Oxford University argues that nearly half of human's jobs are n the risk being take over by machine in the future.

Anthony describes machine learning as a most influential branch of man-made intelligence, it enables to learn from data and imitate some of people's abilities. Machine learning first used in early 1990 with fairly simple jobs , for example, to evaluate credit loan's risk and to sort mails using postcode. Over the past few years, machine learning was capable to handle a more complicated task such to give score on high school essays and to determine eye disease called retinopathy. At this point, it is clear that there is no opportunity for human to compete against machine when it comes to do a large number of tasks.

However, machine has limitation that they can only perform work than they had learned before in a large number, while people are able to cope with unfamiliar conditions. Business strategies, marketing campaigns and other creativities tasks are some of the people's capability that is likely hard to compete by machine.
kiev   
Oct 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / How Did a Blind Man Climb Yosemite's El Capitan in a Day? [3]

Hi there,
Here's is some of feedback from me.

The first blind climber ever was Erik Weihenmayer in El Capitan// Erik... was the first blind man who ever climb El Capitan...
including Hans Florine, who had a (OF) record 177 times ...

He and team set a blistering speed and... ( is it refer to Hans or Erik?)

Best of luck on your writing progress.

Cheers.
kiev   
Oct 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article summary: Once Sleepy Singapore Has Become Asia's World City-While Hong Kong Is Lagging [3]

Hong Kong and Singapore were considered as the greatest hub of free economy in South and South East Asia and two prominent market in the region according to Asian Journal. Over the past 40 years saw number of changes between the two cities, which according to the writer as a result of the political change.

Between 1980s and 1990s Hong Kong was stand among world's best cities for trade, for some reasons. For instance, tax rates is below the average and limited regulation, and their proximity to the rise of China. In the past few years, after Hong Kong resumed to be governed by China since about two decades ago, they became less attractive. In addition, political instability arose around the city with the massive protests in 2014 called "Umbrella Revolution and the Occupy Central Movement.

However, Singapore appeared to be less oppressive under current regime, governed by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong. Local press in Singapore is also slightly stronger than decades ago. In the business field, the country was stand out in number of rating agencies such as rank as second place on 'least miserably country' by Bloomberg and referred to world's most liveable city for foreign workers in Asia according to ECA International's version. All in all, these could be the advantages of Singapore over Hong Kong when it comes to appealing place for live and work.

source: time.com/4513089/singapore-hong-kong/?xid=homepage
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Review: Zuckerberg and Chan Promise $3 Billion to Cure Every Disease [2]

Up to $3 billions will be invested by Facebook Founder, Mark Zukeberg and his spouse Priscilla Chan to fight against all children's diseases in the next 10-years. About a year ago, after welcoming their first baby, Max, the couple announced 45 billions financial endowment named "Chan Zukeberg Initiative". Moreover, there are several world billionaires such as Bill Gates, Pierre Omidyar, Marc Benioff have donated to the organisation. Although there is no much information how the fund will go, they have invested in tech education startups in number of developing regions like India and Africa.

According to Zuckerberg, one of the plans is to create $600 million "BioHub" to in San Francisco, a collaborative projects, where researchers from Stanford, UCSF, UC Berkeley able to work together. He added his organisation's mission is concentrated on curing diseases so that people do not sick. In contrast, community focus on spends fifty times more investing in treating people who are sick.
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Chris Anderson explained about four keys to be an extraordinary public speaker. [4]

Hi Aris,
I hope you are doing good, I just want to give some advices for you.
please, you have to be careful with your spelling (I have found some errors) and remember singular and plural.
connect 's'
prespective perspective
languange language
spesific specific
a young women young women (singular/plural)
consider a phenomenon consider about ... (preposition)
Therefore, you can change to ' it has led to' (cause/effect)

Good luck for your next summary assignments
Cheers
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / How to speak powerfully to make changes in the world. [3]

Hi fauziyahtami,
I hope you are doing good. You have a good summary, let me give you some suggestions.
How to speak powerfully to make changes in the world. is it a question or a title?
number of habits that we can avoid suggestion ' there are several bad habits of human being. (this is the main topic)
Your summary already used logical order however, you probably need to use other types of logical order such as primarily, first of all, next, initially etc.

First gossiping, speaking about the others flaw. --> First and foremost, gossiping is that individuals tend to spread other flaws without the real fact. (this is just suggestion)

The thing we could do to be more powerful to speak is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically. --> on the other hand, there are a considerable number of aspects to present a powerful speaking

Just all from me, Good luck for your next assignments/tests
Cheers
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Everybody who wants to be happy, and get the dream, is suggested to read book every single day. [5]

Hi!

Here's some comment from me

everybody in the world want (to have)..

but also there cannot get .....? ( what do you mean?)

Todays , globalizationsare is moving faster, it can be seen developing through modern technology, business global global business, international diplomation(space )and etc( try to avoid etc. how about: just to name few)

People are not chalanges challenge if they do not have good strategy, More persons are success in (...) like mentor who guidance guide their plan.

Mentors are vital item to be success ( mentors are vital figure to inspired someone to success. Is that what you mean?)
..more powerfull ..

Cheers
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / I wonder how the busy people always working are able to read a book every day [4]

Hi Arisandy,
You already have a good summary however, summary is the main point from the speaker perspective not from your perspective. Probably it will be better if you avoid to use 'I'. (you need to straight to the point, many words are good but you need to narrow your idea)

is are
a book was the the most loyal friend to bring and encounter every time and everywhere. I think it is not past tense but present tense.personswere ( singular/plural)

always working
I hope those suggestions are useful to improve your summary
cheers
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary: A life lesson from a volunteer firefighter by Mark Bezos [2]

Firefighter is consider to be one of dangerous jobs in the world, but Mark Bezos, an assistant captain volunteer in fire company presented his TED talk in a funny way. It was in the middle of the night and under pouring rain when he got into initial fire assignment. A volunteer who arrived five seconds before him was asked to save home-owner's dog. So when his turn came, captain of the volunteer said that Bezos need to got inside the house, pass the fire and got the home-owner a pair of shoes to wear. When he got out from the house, it turned out that his friend who save the dog got more attention that him! At that time, he feel that he is not a hero.

However, through his volunteer role as a firefighter, he learnt about the act of generosity and kindness as well to learnt about grace and courage a long the way. He advised if people want to help their surrounding, they need to start now. It does not to be somethings big. For example, serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up neighborhoods park or be a mentor. At last, Bezos gave an inspiring words to close his speech with " not every day is going to offer a chance to save somebody's life but every day offer an opportunity to affect one".
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary article_Unsafe Air-Pollution Levels Affect 9 in 10 People Globally [2]

Hi David,

Interesting article! Here are my feedback:

A new report (about demographic) is released by the ...

(It is revealed that) more than 90% of the world's ...

....in 2012 there is more than 6 million people ...( there are)

Good luck with your writing progress!
kiev   
Sep 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / An Article Summary: Brad Pitt Says He's Skipping His Latest Film Premiere to Focus on His Family [3]

Hi Fitri,

Very interesting article, here's some feedback from me.

a famed Hollywood celebrity( consider to replace it with : well-known or A-list)

he stated "I'm very grateful to be part ... ( could be much more interesting to change into indirect speech)

Overall, the article that you choose it too short, try to pick longer articles next time :)

All the best for your writing progress!
kiev   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Think about something you want to add and try in the next 30 days [5]

TED Summary - Try something new for 30 days by Matt Cutts

In this TED talk, Matt Cutts tried to share his joyful experiences about "try something new for 30 days challenges", inspired by American well-known Philosopher Morgan Spurlock. Matt's 30 days challenges has been ranging from simple tasks like took pictures, wrote novel to even bigger target such as climbed the highest mountain in Africa, Kilimanjaro. To start it, firstly, think about something you want to add in your life or things you want to try in the next 30 days. Another tips is, focus on a more small changes, based on his own experiences it would be more likely sustain compare to big changes. There are number of reasons why people should consider the challenge. For instance, time is much more memorable, self-confident improved, even be more adventurous like Matt did in Africa.
kiev   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED: Speak Up for Syrian People [6]

Hi Ismail,
You have a good summary
I have given you some advices to improve your summary.
cheers
Whereas the children are not a soldier sentence fragment 'whereas (sentence), (sentence)
who refer to ?
The better world for all of us sentence fragment ( no verb)
They did not write. Syrian children are unable to write ( this is my suggestion)
kiev   
Sep 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED summary: Steve Howard; Let's go all-in on selling sustainability [3]

which are based on recycle products this is my suggestion to erase this extra information.
as 'because' is better as a transition signal for your sentence.
You overused passive voice sentences
impacts to impact on (preposition)
from a nice-to-do to the a must-do what do you want to say?
you have think 2 verbs
kiev   
Sep 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / TED Summary: Forget Multitasking, try monotasking by Paolo Cardini [2]

According to merriam webster dictionary, multitasking is the ability to do several things at the same time. Paolo Cardini, as a multitasker person himself, questioned how really efficient multitasking is, in his TED video. He gave example on his recent multitasking activities, where he answered phone,wrote SMS, uploaded photos while he was cooking. It caused him nothing but a burned barbeque.

Paolo mentioned that he is currently working on monotask project and urge the audiences to do so. For example, down grade smartphone into a very basic function or enjoy beautiful Venice using monocompas rather than retrieving lots of information from GPS. In extreme ways, we can also consider to turn off our digital life completely.

To close his speech, Paolo emphasis that in a world that multitasking provide lot of possibilities, he encourage the audiences to find their own monotask.
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