Undergraduate / 'One father, one teacher' - a person who has influenced you in a significant way [2]

Please somebody help me revise my essay.

Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.

One father, one teacher

My father was different from any other parents who would force their children to go to school. Instead, he decided to home-school me and my brother, him being the counselor who designs each and every course and curricular we would follow. Few years before he made this irregular plan, he was originally a well-respected diplomat, one of the most difficult occupations an individual can have in Korea. However, he abandoned his precious career for our sake without a single sign of hesitation.

Unlike conventional Korean educational system, which emphasizes only of stuffing simple facts and terms (of which he thought was so unproductive and time consuming) into students, my father led the classes mainly as a form of debate, always demanding for the 'reasons' we made for our conclusions. He marked clear distinction between passive and active learning, and trained us not to be bound in bias and prejudice. He never compelled me to be have certain dreams, but helped me find the most appropriate goal and pursue for the career I was deeply interested.

My intimacy with father grew tight as the time pass by. I could not think of having teachers other than him. I was free to express any idea I hold, and object to his opinion during the debate, through which I learned to think in a deeper level. Instead of just instilling simple facts written on textbooks, he would let us 'feel' the knowledge by taking multiple means.

His method of teaching does not resemble any I previously experienced when I attended school. One day, during the AP economics class (although it may not seem like 'conventional' class to those who received 'traditional' education), he told me that the slope of demand curve of a monopolistic market is always half of that of marginal revenue curve. I knew he would not stop at this stage. Not surprisingly, he asked why it is so, and instructed me to recall all the related concepts to fully explain the term. Although at the very first period of my life as a home-schooled student I thought the courses were too complicated and redundant, soon I knew this is one of the most effective ways to grasp knowledge. By enduring and going through this process, I was able to solidify what I learned, never forgetting afterwards even a minor detail for his successful style of tutoring.

Furthermore, he eagerly tried his best to discover my strongest points and optimize them. Knowing that I was not a brilliant science student, he recommended me to keep the main focus on the subjects of my main interest such as calculus, statistics, social sciences, and foreign languages. My improving academic performances proved that he had unquestionable skills in teaching. His initial opponents who had severely reprimanded him for his decision to home-school his two sons praised his rewarding 'venture.'

One summer night, I asked him if he does not regret the decision he made resisting harsh criticism from his friends and even members of family. With a slight smile dangling on his face, he replied: "Sometimes, of course I do, but I would stick to my original plan until you are qualified enough to receive better education in the university." Yes, he has always maintained his position, and promise he made to me and to himself. He scarcely scolded me of some occasional failure, but more often, he reproached himself and bore most of the resulting responsibilities. Maybe this kind of attitude and mindset were also a part of his means to lead me onto the right track to my dream. I was deeply galvanized to hear him say so. It seemed that he was the last individual who would forsake his own self-designed regulation and philosophy.

Being my father and teacher, he influenced me in various aspects. Not only did he contribute to my scholastic fields, but also guide me to always consider three virtues: modesty, morality, and integrity. He was one of my top role models I wanted to emulate. Though his minds may appear to be the most unorthodox and idiosyncratic, as he believes in me, I also trust him, respecting his principles and rarely frustrating him. Every class I had with him was full of vigor and vitality. He taught me to love knowledge and apply it, to stand against any odd and plight without surrender, and to value the merit of persistence, through all of which I was able to get near to my goals. For my father and teacher and eventually for myself, I will keep proceeding to my dream. I will smile, and so will he.

Undergraduate / How did you spend your last two summers? Princeton supplement [2]

Anyone please revise my essay and give me some suggestions!

Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

Being involved in various extracurricular activities give me a sort of internal satisfaction and lessons scholastic achievements would not offer to me. It is my attempt to embark on ambiguous area with which I was unfamiliar, a daunting trip that sometimes chases me into stressful predicament. However, at the end of the path, I found myself learned something new, a precious knowledge I could have missed had I solely engaged in my academic affairs.

In the summer of 2010, when I was still a home-schooled student, I was proposed to participate in the All-China Kendo Competition as a member of the representative team of the city of my residence. In order to excel in the match, I practiced rigorously, investing huge part of my summer. In this process, I learned to appreciate the aids and advice presented to me, the way to respect adversaries, and the morals and regulations. Prior to the commencement of opening ceremony, the captain of my team emphasized that blindly pursuing after the triumph of game is a direct contradiction to the main point of this grand tournament. Rather, knowing to pay homage to the winners and being able to maintain modesty were prime objectives. I was surprise to see the civility of sportsmanship. I could see neither the boast of the triumphed nor the frustration of the defeated. Watching the winning team ascending the platform to receive award, without expressing an inch of regret, I acclaimed for the team. Looking up the azure sky, I felt the sun was even more dazzling than usual, as if to celebrate my growth.

The summer of next year is about another story I should narrate, after I finished my senior year of school, I made a plan to publish an anthology of poetries of three Northeast Asian countries: Korea, China, and Japan. I thought this experience would be an excellent opportunity to further my interest in literature. Collecting the poems and classifying them into similar themes required arduous efforts. For several times, I wanted to put the operation into hold from mental and physical exhaustion. However, alluding myself that this is another challenge that should be conquered, I persevered in the work, without being succumbed to any kind of obstacles and quagmire. I could finish the job and have the final copy of the book sent to the publishing company on time without delay. This was an especially significant experience in that I produced a creation of my own and expanded my possibility to confront impossibility.

Undergraduate / 'a Japanese speaking class' - Elaborate on one extracurricular activity [4]

Please leave any comment or advice after reading my essay. I really appreciate your help.

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

When I was a 12th-grade student, I had a chance to organize a Japanese speaking class to teach university students. Dreaming of becoming a professor after graduating from college, I conceived that this teaching experience would be an excellent opportunity for me to enhance my ability, and find out the way to improve myself. On the first day I made acquaintance with some of my students, I shrugged a bit, thinking if I was a well-qualified person to lead these people for the lecture, as all of them were of Japanese major. Fairly soon, however, I noticed that the concern was purely redundant. They followed the class extremely well, and, in most cases, tried their best to make progress. I enjoyed tutoring them very much. I would rather say that the lesson was mine, because the experience showed me the effective way to communicate with people of difference race, age, and language, hurling down the invisible walls existed between them and me.

Undergraduate / "Matrix of inspiration and dream "- Why UChicago? [5]

Please read my essay and give me any feedback and suggestion. Please be harsh to me!

Respond to Question 1 by writing a paragraph or two.

Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

I have always been seeking for a university that provides students with academically competitive environments and hands-on experience, and found out that UChicago is one of my perfect fits. Possessing intimate interest in economics and other fields related to it, such as economics-mathematics and political economics, I am resolute to apply for the university. Since UChicago has a great reputation among prestigious American colleges on the economics, I consider that it would be a rare and honorable opportunity for me to expand unlimited amount of knowledge with which I am concerned. At UChicago, my lifelong dream of pursuing further education of the subject will be realized in the academically demanding curricula and coursework. UChicago will present me with the challenge I need to obtain my ultimate objective of creating an economic union like EU, comprised of three Northeast Asian countries (Korea, Japan, and China), and becoming an economist.

In addition to excelling in the intellectual areas, I'm also a competent athlete. Enjoying Kendo, one of the most famous Japanese traditional martial arts, and squash, I gained the ability to view the world in different perspective that I would not have been able to have, had I merely been a student interested only in academic affairs. Participating in a variety of sports activities is to be emphasized as much as it does continuing my academic career. UChicago is best equipped with its renowned varsity sports, club sports, and intramural sports. Some of them, if not all, will satisfy my desire to remain not only as a scholarly person, but also as a proficient sportsman.

Undergraduate / "the comparative advantage model" - time you found something you weren't looking for. [6]

Hey guys! Please take a look at my essay and give me any advice and critique. This is my first draft of essay, so it may contain many errors.

Extended Essay

Essay Option 4: While working at the Raytheon Company, Percy Spencer noticed that standing in front of a magnetron (used to generate microwave radio signals) caused a chocolate bar in his pocket to melt. He then placed a bowl of corn in front of the device, and soon it was popping all over the room. A couple of years later, Raytheon was selling the first commercial microwave oven.

Write about a time you found something you weren't looking for.

Five minutes before the class finishes, and a week before the midterm starts, my economics teacher announced that the international trade will definitely be the main topic on the following exam. I could see my friends shrunk with desperation, as that was the part they found most difficult. We went to the library right away for self-teaching. The sky was crystal clear, and the still breeze tickled my cheek. It was perfect time for me and my classmates to elaborate on the preparation of midterm. As a group leader, I was instructed by the teacher to give other students description about comparative advantage, a concept with which many of them were riddled.

During the group study session, I gave other peers fundamental explanation about the term. Being in the position of teaching someone was something that I enjoyed most. However, because of my imperfect knowledge, I was unable to satiate the infinite academic hunger of my fellow students. The assumption that the countries always has a constant opportunity cost of producing one good to the other, which was contradictory to production possibility curve graph that shows increasing cost as the amount of goods or services produced augments. I recollected my father's statement that if one cannot teach something fully to others, it means that he has limited information or not completely grasps the concept. Tormenting on the idea that my understanding may have been flawed, after returning home, I delved into the entire scope related with comparative advantage. I was resolved to clarify the vague area I wasn't actually well known of, and discover something new that would broaden my view on the subject.

Initially, I could not understand which part had I missed. I pondered over the word repeatedly to get the clear picture of it. However, all the painful efforts seemed to be futile. The deeper I got into the question, the more I perceived myself fallen into an inescapable quandary. A mournful sense of desperation possessed me, and I put my pencil down. After a short moment of rest, to cool my confused head down exhausted with economics, I started my math homework. Solving a question about differentiation, a curved graph, which has variable gradient according to different values, caught my eyes. I instinctively related the graph to the comparative advantage model.

Eureka!

The intricate question that tormented me got resolved swiftly, unexpectedly. I extricated myself from the confusion why production possibility frontier of a country trading with its partner is a straight line instead of a curved one. I understood that the cost have to be equal to the change in level of production, so that the trade can be made. With the fixed opportunity cost, countries can evaluate reasonable terms of trade to be benefited from trading. As a by-product of the fortuitous discovery, I also spotted another reason that the opportunity cost ought to remain constant. Changing cost cannot adequately explain the basic presumption that trade cannot be made when two countries have same opportunity cost, because in such case, none of the both countries can be better-off from transactions.

I carried my steps pleasantly to school, imagining that I could be a savior of the entire class. This amazing knowledge (at least it was for me) was purely of casual encounter. However, it was what fueled even more of my intimate interest in economics. An ineffable exultation was something that greeted me every time I made a new leap or progress. It was sweeter than my favorite lemon tea, and more inspiring than incessant encouragement teacher would grant to me.

Undergraduate / Stage for me - common app essay [4]

This is my draft of essay, I would really appreciate any feedback and critique. It may contain numerous grammatical errors.
I'll read your essays and give you necessary advice as reciprocation.

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Stage for me
I gasped when suddenly the melody of music went ugly. Unable to play any longer and terrified, I threw a quick glance at the audience. They were grimacing and laughing at me. Too embarrassed to even apologize for my clumsy mistake, I absconded from the stage after taking a hasty bow.

Finally, I woke up from the gruesome nightmare, panting, drenched with sweat all over my back. Playing classical guitar has always been my passion, an intimacy I have maintained for a long period, followed by my academic pursuits. However, having ruined my first contest few years ago, which engraved on me a kind of everlasting trauma thereafter, a painful experience that made me an inward person who detested being in the limelight, I almost always made a cautious decline whenever suggested to participate in a music contest or a concert. Nonetheless, my seemingly eternal withdrawal halted when the music teacher wrote my name on the school bulletin board as one of the soloists for the inaugural fund-raising concert, which is designed to channel the funds to support the restoration of a school devastated by Sichuan Earthquake.

Elected as a solo guitarist and my personal information already being sent to Hong Kong and Beijing to make pamphlets, I had no choice but to practice one of the most famous classical guitar pieces: 'Recuerdos de Alhambra' with Frank, my 20-year-old Yamaha guitar. I practiced this piece over and over again, at least five times a day, all under the eyes of my brother and father, encouraging me forwards. Whenever I made a minor mistake, my face would turn pale, and I was seized by misery. Nevertheless, without giving up halfway, I tried my best to produce the best sound in the limited time given. The day had finally arrived, and I made my unnerving expedition to Qingdao with other members of the orchestra and soloists. I had been reduced to a timid juvenile with fluctuating emotions.

In the concert hall, feeling my heartbeat running intensely quickly, I gripped my fists tightly. When I made my last rehearsal prior to the main recital, the hideous fear controlling my mind ripened into an even bigger monster. However, I ventured to face it, attempting to enjoy the moment that would probably never come later again in my future. Although I thought myself to be well-prepared for the recital, when it was finally my turn to be on stage in front of such a vast audience, all my senses reacted vigorously, so much that I almost threw up on the glistening wooden floor. The roaring claps and dazzling spotlight offered to the performers were more of a strain for me than a fervid reception.

When one of the stage assistants gave me the cue at last, I dashed onto the stage with my cherished guitar, silently yet confidently, trying not to make any offensive noise. The sonorous cheer greeted me. I seated myself, cleared my throat, and commenced a four-minute performance that seemed to last an eternity. I could feel my fingers trembling with tension. It was so quiet. When I closed my eyes softly, nothing could I hear except the melody coming out from the musical instrument I was handling. My rough hand glided from place to place on the neck of the guitar. I was engulfed solely into the moment. The threatening long-term terror had vanished from my brain within a minute, and I could find myself completely enthralled in the rendition of my own. I was proud of myself for doing something meaningful, with so many people watching me.

When I gently thrummed on the last note of the music, the serene hall was again filled with listeners, who sent me a burst of applause that pierced through the bubble of tranquility. A gushing rapture possessed me instantaneously, and I felt I had matured into a more evolved persona. I learned to face fear and to conquer shyness. Getting off the stage, I saw my music teacher smiling at me, with his thumb raised as a sign of satisfaction. A kaleidoscopic panorama of thoughts passed onto me when I descended from the stage. At the end of the continuous days of fear, pressure, and anxiety, I found accomplishment.

Merely playing the guitar had presented me with an invaluable lesson. I reproached myself for avoiding such performances for such a long time, and for not having enough courage to take a small step forward. My heart was still racing, but the inexpressible sentiment, a feeling that I had finally made significant progress, which I procrastinated to achieve for nearly a decade, bestowed utmost bliss on me. I hurried into the foyer, exhaled deeply, and phoned my father, who was the person most anxious about whether or not my performance went successfully. As soon as a quiet beep signaled that the line had been connected, not surprisingly, he promptly inquired about the recital. With a small smile on my face, I replied: "perfect, not because I did it without any errors, but because I made a vital breakthrough."