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Posts by farina
Joined: Nov 28, 2011
Last Post: Feb 25, 2012
Threads: 11
Posts: 25  

From: Pakistan

Displayed posts: 36
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farina   
Feb 24, 2012
Essays / How to start: children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together [4]

Hi

can someone please help me I cannot write an essay on this following IELTS topic. Please give me some good suggestions I cant think of anything to write on this topic

It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, while others think that more intelligent children should be taught separately.

Discuss and present your own opinion.

Thankyou
farina   
Feb 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'traditions, history and language in China' - IELTS WRITING [3]

Some sociologists think nowadays many young people are repelling traditional culture in China. Teenagers are more interested in new ideas from western countries. For instance, Valentine's Day and Christmas are becoming increasingly popular rather than some traditional festival. In my view, it is not necessary for young people to learn all traditional ideas, because some ideas are useless and complicated.

There are several reasons that support my opinion: learning old traditions isare not imperative for youngsters. Numerous old ways of thinking are misleading atin today's society. For example, it was commonly believed that men are the best and women should always follow them. In some developing countries, especially in China, many parents living in countryside prefer having a son than a daughter. The reason is they believe men are better than women, which is completely nonsense, because only female can give birth to babies. Secondly, young people are suppose to create new concepts instead of remembering traditions so that they can improve themselves and be unique from others. Thirdly, the development of a country depends on the imagination and creativity of young adults.

On the other side, traditions, history and language consist oftogether makethea culture for a nation. First of all, traditions remind people where they come from and who they are. For young people, they access to international information and have been influenced by different culture as the world became a global village. Learning traditional culture prevent them from ignoring their identity. Furthermore, teenagers should be responsible for keeping culture alive. Traditions could be disappeared with elderly people's death. More importantly, traditional idea may help young people get a job. Meaning, the employers probably an old person may appreciate your knowledge of traditions during a job interview and give you extra scores.

To sum up, young people should not be forced to study all traditions.Please make your conclusion much more detailed

Thanks
farina   
Feb 22, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Successful people do something new or take risks' - TOEFL [2]

I favorfavour the latter; that is, successful people still do things they already know.
The first and foremost reason lies,inis an inevitable fact that to become successful, we all try to reduce the risk we might encounter. The lower the factors making us fail we have , the higher the probability to success we own.that we can reach to the top. Consider a circumstance in which one person is rich because he knows a lot of knowledge of investment. He can focus on certain successful companies which he thinks isare worthyit toof investment , and then just waits for the not so high but constant income. He does not have to invest in some dangerous companies to get higher profit which might leadcan make him to bankrupt in a short time. Therefore, we can commence to agree that successful people do not have to try new things or take risks.

Admittedly, on the other hands , there might be some dissidents proclaiming that doing something new is necessary for the people to achieve success because they can become different from others, which is also a widely accepted idea for success. However, according to my limited understanding, I just doubt the credibility of that saying, owing to its imprudence. TryIN something new can indeed make some people become special, while it does not mean successful.

Based on the reasons demonstrated above, I believe that doing what we already known can still leads us to succeedsuccess because the advantages of this are relatively greater than that of the oppositethe disadvantages . In other words, reducing risks and enhancing individual's capability is the most important path to success. It is not to say, of course, that other points of view are completely without merit. Still, I am firmly convinced that the reasons I have proposed in favorfavour of my own sentiment are much more tenable and cogent.
farina   
Feb 22, 2012
Writing Feedback / "independence day" and "mother's day" - are important? IELTS [2]

hi
Ielts essays are argumentative essays you cannot write an essay in only one para. your essay must have a clear INTRODUCTORY para, two or three BODY PARAS and finally the CONCLUSION. search essay format on google

Yearly, in the people's calendars there are certain days which are referedreferred to as public holidays.People have rest from their work places and come together to celebrate these days.When families come together it means a lot to certain individuals and this shows how important are these days.Thus,it brings to one of the advantages to the individuals and as to the market as well .

These days are for the public,where they travel and meet their families.The families come together,eat and make merry to celebrate.For example,the independanceence day,wherewhich individuals remember as the day when they gained freedom from their colonialists.This means a lot to the people celebrating, as they will be having liberty in their own native countries.Therefore,it shows how important is this day and when families have the moment for each other. svantage

Furthermore , it also brings to one of the advantages in that oftherememberanceremembrance of one another.For instance,"mother's day" where children appreciate and show their mothers how much they love them.The children usually show this by giving them presntspresents or messages in meansthe form of a card.With this example it shows one of the advantages in celebrating these days.

TheAn other advantage of celebrating these da ys is that it brings a rise toin the profits in the market area and thus, an increase in the production and economic stabilisation.People buy some presents and cards for their loved ones .Shops make sure that there is an influx of the products .Also ,people use different modes if the transport to go and be will beof transportations in order to see their loved ones, thus providing income to transport companies as well . ( For instance, the stations are crowded so that they can get trans portcan get transport to visit once more)(??) ..Thus, it show s the advantage to the marketthemaeket wh en people make an effort to celebrate tjhesedaysthese days .

In summary,why people remember these days because they are important to the people and to the market as well
farina   
Feb 21, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Students are developing more and more interest in arts and literature' - ielts essay [4]

THESE DAYS PEOPLE PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ARTISTS (WRITTERS, PAINTERS AND SO ON) AND GIVE LESS IMPORTANCE TO SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY.
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE AND DISAGREE? WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?"


It is true that in resent years many people are developing more and more interest in arts and literature. At the same time, this attraction could cause many individuals to draw away from much more significant fields like science and technology. While I accept that this trend is increasing but in my opinion this can not stop people to do more researches and produce more technological inventions.

On one hand, rapid proliferation of technology has made human lives very hard and tough. For instance, with the invention of mobile phones, we are now in the approach of our employers all the time. They can call us and hand over office work at any time. Not only that with the advancement of technology people have become much more materialistic and worldly. This race of materialism is putting people under immense pressure and tension. To take a refuge from this tense and depressive world people are taking the support of writers and painters. These artists, with their creativity, take people to an imaginary world, away from their busy lifestyle and help them to calm their tiring nerves.

On the other hand, as we are living in the 21st century, where our lives are completely dependent on science and technology, the predilection for artists can not pull us away from science and technology. No doubt, paintings are very good remedy for a sombre sole, but science provides a real cure which can save lives. In past few years huge number of researches have been done to find the treatment of a lethal disease called cancer. Only science and technology have made its treatment possible. In addition, all the natural resources, which have made our lives easy, are now available to humans because of technology. For these reasons, advancements in these fields, especially in the field of genetic science will never stop

To recapitulate, I concede that the works of artists do have magnetic effects that is drawing attention, yet arts and literature do not solve many problems that the mankind is encountering today. The answers to these problems are given by science and technology and this factor will always attract people towards them.
farina   
Feb 19, 2012
Writing Feedback / ielts: learn a language in primary school or secondary school? [6]

iceblade
Acquiringlearning a second language has becomes a useful skill to most people today due to the increasing globalization. Thus it raises a question to the public that when should children start to learn another language. I suggest, the children who learn a foreign language at elementary school will have more benefits than the ones at secondary school.

Firstly, young kids have more time to focus on the study of a new language, compared with the older students. Students normally have more subjects to study when they finish primary school and enter into a secondary. Take China as an example, pupils only have three main subjects, whilst high school students have six. Hence, children need to allocate their time to more tasks after they go to high school, leading to less time spent on studying a new language, which, by contrast, needs a lot of time to learn well.

Apart from that, it is easier for children to learn a foreign language when they are young because of their good memory. Research shows that the best period of people's memory is between 10 to 15 years oldof age . Generally speaking, learning a language needsrecitation of a lot of materials including words, grammar and phrases. Thus, on this stage, primary school students have more advantages than their older competitors.

Admittedly, learning a new language is more than recitationdose not mean reading only , instead, it's also about studying the culture behind that language. High school students usually have higher abilities on understandingto understand , which is an important capability for cultural studying . However, even students begin to learn a foreign language at their elementary school, they also could also learn the culture when they start high school.

In conclusion, though it will never be too late to start to learning a second language but students startwho begain to learn it in elementary school will have more advantages than those who start in secondary school.

I hope you will find it useful Thanks
farina   
Feb 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / Print and electronic media feeding us with information [2]

Topic It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

In recent years the media, both print and electronic, has developed immensely. It is a form of communication which is feeding us with information from all corners of the world and not only that it is a form of entertainment as well. These are the main reasons that are causing the media to penetrate into our lives. Although, media has many advantages but at the same time it has certain drawbacks as well. In my opinion their are more disadvantages of living in a media rich society rather than its good effects.

The first detrimental effect of the media is that it is the major source of violence among the youth. Children watch violent sports like wrestling, watch violent and horror movies and the aftermath of such shows is that children try to do the same acts as done by their heroes and can seriously harm them selves and their fellow children too. Furthermore, now on television their are large number of channel options are available. Children come home from school and sit down in front of the television, hardly involve in physical activities or participate into face-to-face communication or share virtual and non virtual information. This lack of socialism can seriously affect a child's' confidence and communication skills.

The other equally important factor is that in the newspapers, on websites and during a television show too many advertisements are being shown, trying to convince the public to buy their products even if they do not need it. Many people too get attracted by these ads and waste their money on non competitive things.

However, their are few people who consider media's influence beneficial. They claim that media can be auxiliary while making decisions about many aspects of life, like politics. Through media different people give different opinions, giving us choice to decide what is right for us. In addition, internet has made the research process so efficient and simple that we cannot think of redeeming ourselves from this form of media.

To sum up, I concede that the influence of media can be effective in many ways but it is causing many harmful effects as well at an alarming rate. We are are living in 21st century where we are completely dependent on the media and we cannot remove it from our daily routines. The best way to control its influence is to limit its use.
farina   
Feb 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / do you agree that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits? [7]

just for the simple reason that it leads to unhealthy eating habits.

an accumulating number of reasons are the real triggers to bad eating habits

The ever-changeing society comes with busy life style, which decreasesthe limited time ofavailable for entertainment and creates an atmosphere of high pressure,

he great pressure makes people tired both physicaly and psychologicaly . When people go home from work

possess a boned sense body especially in female.????

This phenomenon form an ideology in their groupie s that skin and bones isare the fashion trend that should be followed. Therefore, a sea of children and youths try to losinglose weight by all kind of ways, saylike , keeping dietstrict dieting , taking drugs and eating low energy food only. However, the fans ignore the bad influence on their bodies, for instance, malnutrition; weak immunity and feeble body.

Some pessimistic and sentimental people may feel frustrated and lack themay not be brave enough to
face the difficult challenges the difficulties

. Consequently, the common way to remove the annoyed feeling is drinking over dose of alcohol, and eating snacks without limitedlimits . By the paralysis of alcohol and the pleasure from delicious snacks, people forget the cruel reality temporarily. However, this method has no merits but many demerits, to illustrate, difficulties and problems can't be resolved radically and we may suffer with severe diseases saylike , alcoholic liver, obesity and hypertension

To sum these up, we can definitely consider that unhealthy eating habits are the results fromof various factors, advertising is definitely not the most important one.

please do not use ; when you are breaking the sentence use coma
farina   
Feb 16, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'The advantages of exam out ways its disadvantages' - Help for ielts essay [3]

Topic
Tests and examinations are a central feature of school systems in many countries.
Do you think the educational benefits of testing outweigh any disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In recent years there is a vast increase in discussions about how the examination systems should be at schools. Now students are undertaking too many tests and exams at school which do have many advantages both to the students and the teachers, but at the same time they also have certain drawbacks as well. The administration at schools need to think seriously about the outcomes of the examination systems they have, to test the students. In this essay I would like to give my own opinion after discussing both sides of the argument.

The first good thing about the exams and tests is that it is a method to test students how well they are learning from the lectures delivered in the class and how successful teachers are in conveying their knowledge. For instance, if a whole group of students shows poor grades in a subject then the teacher teaching that subject can be encouraged to work harder and improve his or her teaching skills to bring the students at the top. This is a strong point that favours the argument because teachers are the key figures in a school system and exams are mandatory to check their level of teaching.

The other, equally important factor in the favour of the issue is that exams encourage students as well to study, do more reading and writing and thus improving their general knowledge. If there are no exams and tests then students will not put any effort to learn and educate. Exams produces a state of terror that forces children to study. Moreover, exams bring students together, they do combine studies which help them to learn the essence of team work and they develop communication skill. Lastly, exams develop a sense of competition which also draws students towards books.

On the other hand, exams do have some disadvantages as well. The factor competition can be encouraging for some but it is a major factor that is causing immense pressure on the students and leading them to the state of depression. When students do not get good grades the are discouraged and at the same time they are forced, both by the teachers and the parents, to work hard putting them under more pressure. Now more and more students are involving in drug addiction to relieve from exam pressure.

To recapitulate, I concede that exams can be discouraging for the students in some ways but this does not mean that they should be removed from the system. The advantages of exam out ways its disadvantages. Students should be tested and then upgraded but at the same time weaker students should be given special help to improve.
farina   
Feb 8, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'public to use more public transportation' - IELTS band [5]

roopali
There are those who claim that a hike in petrol prices is the best solution to get rid of these issues
- the use of private vehicles to commute isare the major reason forof growing traffic and pollution. By increasing petrol prices would not limit those from usingthe use of private vehicles.

-There are several efficient measures which can help to solve these matters.
- Other solutions isare, for long long distance trains, making couch services are more attractive, comfortable and affordable and it would
encourage to use
- Release of pollutants in the atmosphere due to rapidly growing manufacturing industries isare the major factors contributing towards air pollution.
- the authorities should educateeducationthe public to use more public transport and the government toshould run more efficient transport system using safer and cleaner fuel based vehicles.These are the better measuresoptions to control growing traffic and pollution problem.
farina   
Feb 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Living in Nigeria' -Contributions might you bring to help create a diverse community [2]

blaze321 i have found essay very interesting but their are few mistakes
in Ghana it is rude for a kid to greet a grown up with their
I believe interacting with people from both countries has put me ahead of most of the people in the diverse community in Virginia tech, because not many peoplepupiles in this school in this line you have repeated word people 3 times please avoid repetition
farina   
Jan 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'work has become the most vital part' - help for ielts essay [NEW]

Topic
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workars

In the modern world, work has become the most vital part of an individuals' life. In order to do his work earnestly and successfully job satisfaction is mandatory. In its absence a worker can face arduous problems. When we discuss about job satisfaction we must consider which factors are responsible for it and how realistic they are for the employees

Firstly, a work place must provide a congenial and friendly environment. The colleagues must be helpful and cooperative. If the employers have welcoming attitude and good communication skills obviously this will automatically attract the employees and they can easily discuss all kinds of matters with their bosses.

Second of all, rewards and credits are few of the most pressing factors contributing to job satisfaction. Good pension schemes, pay raise, free medical facilities and monthly rewards for hardworking employees can make them work exceptionally harder and provide them mental gratification that their work is appreciated. Further, when a person works nine hours a day he must be given a proper break during working hours. Not only that they should be given reasonable numbers of holidays so that they can relax and develop their strength because "all work and no play makes the Jake a dull boy".

The list of factors responsible for job satisfaction will never end, because every person is different, has different way of thinking and has different needs. If one facility is rapturous for one individual, it may be disliked by others. Every company has to make decision realistic and within its financial constrains. On this score every factor cannot be practical.

To recapitulate, I concede that in today's everyone is involved in some kind of job. He/she must be provided with facilities to some extent which can satisfy each and every employee. At the same time workers should also be realistic because every wish cannot come true in the real world
farina   
Jan 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'the mental desire without money' - Happiness in life - Ielts writing. [8]

hi i am not a native english speaker but i have found your wrtting is very good
Here r some mistakes
. Only family and friends can bring you the pleasure of feelings which cash cannot exchange formoney cannot buy . Another factor is our perspective to life: are we optimistic

-A research has shown that 50% of
farina   
Jan 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS: People should not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65 [2]

meo71
There is aare number of arguments in favour of not forcing people to retire.
Firstly, the experience they have gotgained during the long career will be lost,
- who are ready to doput in more efforts and inat the same time
- In addition, new generations should hand over careers from the older generations to get a new blood or new thoughts. This line should be like this . In addition, the older generation should hand over the career responsibilities to the youth, who can pour in new blood and new thoughts.

- Moreover, for those who can to work after retirement age
farina   
Jan 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'change is a way of life and brings new colours in it' - IELTS essay [3]

Topic; some people prefer to spent their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

We are living in a world encompassed with people from different walks of life. For some spending lives in a same manner has become idiosyncrasy, their lives are devoid of new things and experiences involving change. However, others think that change is a way of life and brings new colours in it. Let's have a debate on both of these issues.

Some people exclaim that if individuals spend their lives in one tone is because of various reasons. Some are very superstitious and ominous. They believe that if they acquire any change in ways, on which account they spend their lives, bad things will happen to them. Similarly, people attain their habits from their parents and to pay them respect and homage, children keep on reviving the same things and refrain their selves from any change.

However, critics argue that without indulging into change, our lives will become sombre and rueful. For instance, if a person does not involve in social communities for a change and he/she remains confined in his /her home and family, is more likely to lead a life full of contempt and depression.

Furthermore, we are living in a modern age, where technology has made our lives comfortable and easy. This was only possible because people had cordially welcomed the new inventions and if they did not have, then we shall be still living in Stone Age like aboriginal inhabitants.

After contemplating on both views, I conceive that every individual has his/her own disposition. If they believe experimenting with new things in life congenial, then they should pursuit for changes and if not then they should spend a monotonous life.
farina   
Jan 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / ielts preperation give me a band score [3]

hi
please never give example in your opening para.
-This is not a bad development since we learn through of thethese programmes
-But the effect now is that the time to listen and interact with each other has affected us immensely because viewing television. this line is not connected with culture and it is giving a negative impression and your para is in the favour of the argument. you should keep the whole of the 1st para in the favour of the issue and keep all the negative ideas in the 2nd one.

- For example ,in in social networks people
-In my culture we are not allowed to
-i origin and what we see is wester n culture(?)
i hope you will find it helpful
farina   
Jan 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'the nature advocates' - some people are born with certain talents ... [2]

Daniel Choi
they are able to get aeligible to be successful
According to the natures' advocates, just as a sunflower grows in and orderly way
I find your 2nd para. very confusing. it does not clearly present what is in your mind.
other wise your writing is good
farina   
Jan 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'sportsmen are the ambassadors of a country' - IELTS essay [2]

Topic; Professional sportsmen should be paid a great deal of money. Some people feel it justified while others believe that is unjust to other professionals. Give your opinion.

In every corner of the world, sports industry is gaining immense popularity. Every individual has predilection for a certain sport. People gather from different areas to watch their favourites playing in the field. Who bring glory and rejoice to the people back at home. On this account it is considered, by some, that sportsmen should be highly paid. However, others refute this opinion and consider that every profession should be paid equally.

Cited by few people, sportsmen are the ambassadors of a country. They work done to dusk , epitomes of sporting profession, sacrifice their personal lives and dexterously avert the feelings of detest and rage, in people from countries which are suffering from internal war, into unity. Like in many African countries, in Somalia where groups of rebellions involved in terrorism, but when football world cup comes, every house in the country, on the face of every child you can see their national flag. Supporting their heroes vehemently, who represent their country in the world.

Similarly, actors and actress with their dandified affectations also earn equally great amount of money, but the essence of their work is not enough to fulfil the same duties as fulfilled by the sportsmen. For this reason they should be bestowed with large amount of money.

However, critics argue that other professionals like doctors, teachers, engineers, and policemen are the most important and vital pillars of a strong society, without each one of them a country will regress to an insufferable condition. There will be no law and order, people will cry for justice, upheaval of poverty, many prevalent diseases and no sign of development. Not only that, doctors work day and night to provide good health facilities and teachers provide literate citizens who can compete internationally to make their country economically stronger. A country can run without sportsmen but it will fall to the brink of destruction without illustrious professionals like teachers.

In conclusion, I concede that sports professionals are diligent and I esteem their efforts but it is unjust to pay them ample amount of money as compared to the other professions.
farina   
Jan 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / Compare the advantages and disadvantages of TV, books, radio [2]

meo71
-Some people argues that most radio's listeners
-but it highly affects many sides of our life
-That is the resultedfrom there areof abundance of channels in allfrom every fields .
-can easily ta ugh and remembered than other types
farina   
Dec 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'promote humanity and understanding among the people' - IELTS essay [NEW]

Topic;
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Other disagrees and thinks that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

What do you think?
Customs and traditions allude towards the uniqueness of a country. Their predecessors endeavoured to develop and preserve their culture and undoubtedly they represent the country in the world. On this behalf people consider their culture as national heritage and want to keep on reviving it by pursuing their old traditions. However, in my opinion most ardent welcome of new culture would be prudent and beneficial.

Firstly, I believe by learning about new cultures we can become much more tolerant and can bring harmony to the society because of more social understanding and less social conflicts. When we learn and imitate foreign customs, it can actuate the visitors for friendship and moreover proved to be auxiliary to apprehend their hopes and worries and help them to get through their difficulties and survive in a new locality.

Secondly, it is true that nothing defines a culture more than its language and it is also true that limits of my languages are the limits of my world. If I learn the visitors, it will not only bridge the communication gap between us but it will also broaden my future career perspective. Fpr instance by accomplishing the skills of English language can open many ways to educate in best universities of the world.

Thirdly, if foreign traditions are beneficial and congenial then they can become the part of the lives of the local dwellers. Take the example drinking Chinese tea with meals, basically it is warm water helps in digestion, surely by following this conduct of the visitors will not mask the local customs.

However, the opponents consider that "do in Rome as Romans' do". When visitors come to a foreign land they should respect the local traditions and to indulge in the local community, they must attribute their selves to the local customs.

Concluding, I firmly believe that to promote humanity and understanding among the people learning about cultural difference in compulsory.
farina   
Dec 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / Ruling The World With Ideas [3]

mussy
creative imaginary pictures either right
-Our skills are the abilities to do things in an exceptionally different way.
-we have to know that these talents cant' take us anywhere except exceptunless we act on it to produce skills ,
-thoughts that will push us forward.
-The right thought will push us to where we want to be in this world but the right thought is very difficult to be implemented and the wrong thought on the other hand will pull us back.in this sentence thought word has been repeated three times you can write this way The right thought will push us to where we want to be in this world but its implementation is very difficult and the wrong ones on the other hand will pull us back.

-These are things (that bring about things) this is confusing and again repetition that helps in profitable association,such as reading books from great Authors.
farina   
Dec 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'a request to produce new electronic device' - IELTS letter [3]

Moreover, I would like to say if you could print our logo and companys' name, it would be a great advantage for us.
-we had many complaints from the customers
-They said that gadgets were very slow and the power of the battery was the major problem
-these problems which we had in HP
farina   
Dec 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - we should not let technology and make our lives simple? [5]

Topic: Technology is causing environmental pollution. Some believe that we should not technology and make our lives simple; while others believe that we should use it to control the problem. What is your opinion?

Technology is a blessing that has been bestowed upon us. Numerous eccentric discoveries have proved to be the felicity of the mankind and certain it is that they have made our lives comfortable. However, not everything is perfect; indeed technology does have some odious effects, like environmental pollution which we have to forbear. Pollution can be subdued, if we stop using the latest gadgets, but in my opinion technology can be auxiliary in controlling the pollution.

Firstly, if our lives are void of technology then we shall have the lives of primitive people, like those dwelt in the stone ages, trying to put on fire with stones, travelling hundreds of miles on foot taking weeks to reach their desired destination, no mobile phones, internet facilities, computers, making our learning and education slow. In addition to that our health system will be crippled without modern diagnostic process, operational technique and medication can give a way to various epidemic diseases especially AIDS. The strong intimacy of modern man with technology cannot allow him to live without it.

Secondly, scrupulous use of technology can help us to fight against the problem of pollution. For instance, the use of train engines running on electricity rather than the coal ones, proper disposal of garbage and it's recycling, clean sanitation system, all are made possible by technology.

Thirdly, if we do make our lives simple, the element of pollution will still be there. Burning of coal and woods is the most essential part of every inhabitant and this can most evidently destroy our ecosystem because of smoke and deforestation.

However, the opponents believe that we should be circumspect. We should not completely remove technology from our lives but decrease its utility, like walking to the nearer places instead of using cars.

Concluding, I concede that technology do have some draw backs but if we use it wisely then surly it can help us to control the problem of pollution.
farina   
Dec 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'hesitate and miss good chance' TOEFL - Young People Enjoy Life more than older [4]

delta
Hi
i hope u will find it helpful
I still think young people more enjoy life than the old people do

-The young people have better health conditions than the old people.
-They are all exciting, aren't they ?
-never would the old people choose these ways to enjoy life, (even they don't want do any sports)this line confusing because of the poor health condition.

-it is said that the number of old people who have cancersare ten times more than that of the young people.
-the stress from
-less stress problems
-needn't to worry about the of care their parents
-it is these are the experiences
-might not be aware of the variations of the modern society
-the young people are more creative than the old people
farina   
Dec 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'the world of formidable evil, injustice and detest' - IELTS essay [6]

Topic
Some people believe that capital punishment should be legal while others refute this opinion. Do you agree or disagree

We are living in the world of formidable evil, injustice and detest. Crimes involving murders are flourishing on the bed of envy and hatred. In order to put an end to these acts of folly stringent measures should be taken, on the account of civilians' protection. Yet, what type of punishment should be given to the criminals, whether capital punishment or life time imprisonment, is a question needs to be answered. From my view point capital punishment is the answer.

Cited by a few people that death penalty is morally and ethically unjustified. A murder may be in self-defence or a juvenile conviction or involving a person falsely accused for it, giving such punishment to them will cause lose of innocent lives and leaving their relatives in disparity and grieving on the death of their loved ones.

However, it is exclaimed by the other group of individuals that to ensure the safety of the public and to reduce the crime rate in the society capital punishment is incumbent, since it has a deterrent effect. The thought of death penalty will prevail on the mind of the criminal and deliberately refrain him from the crime.

Moreover, in life time imprisonment various means of escaping can become possible. In many countries, bribery and internal corruption are making people with better fortunes and high connections to pay for their way out. Furthermore, to gratify the feeling of revenge and preventing more bloodshed, punishment of life-for-life will be prudent.

Concluding, I believe that for the benefit of the society and to keep the crime rate at the lowest level capital punishment should be mandatory.
farina   
Dec 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay if children should be sent to school at an early age? [6]

Topic
Children should be sent to school at an early age or they should be sent at the age of six or seven. Give your opinion?

Children are the building blocks of a country, their education structure should be constructed carefully to obtain the best results. To achieve the high standers in the learning process we must decide at which age children should be sent to school, whether early age or at a mature age of six or seven.

It is believed by some people that at three years of age children's brains are developing. They are much more eager to learn, have unbiased behaviour against different subjects, easier for the teachers to teach them discipline and co-operation which is difficult for the parents to teach at home, because at school a child is up-against larger number of students with whom he/she has to co-operate and get along with; while at home he/she owns everything.

At the age of six or seven, it becomes very difficult for the students to merge with the new environment because when they spend six years of pampered life at home, they find it hard to indulge with the new children. Moreover, many researches, especially in the field of language, have proved that better performances is seen in children, in learning a new language, who are going to school from a younger age because at three years a child can utter three or four words, so-forth it is easier for them to attain native fluency and make complex sentences.

However, the second group claims that six years is a much more mature age, at this age children behave positively towards education, make friends more sensibly and understand and respond to teacher's commands effectively.

Concluding, I concede that although there are benefits of sending children to school at six years but advantages of sending them at three are far more, in this way they will spend more years in learning process.
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