Writing Feedback / Sat essay: is it best not to change our ideas, opinions, or behaviours？ [3]

We all find difficuly making choices, especially when our ideas conflict with those of others. When shopping online, I often hestitate for a long time if what I would like to buy receives negative remark from other customers. However, sometimes we are more likely to make right decisions if we stick to our own ideas. From US history, one can see how this statement proves to be true.

Willia Loyld Garrison, the editor of 'the liberator' , never abandoned his determination as an abotionlist. Before civil war, citizens in all part of the country regard African Americans as animals and treat them as such. However, William held a totally different view that African Americans were no inferior than Whites. He published an influential anti-slave newpaper, the liberator, in which he demanded immediate emancipation of all slaves without any compensation to their owners. However, because his ideas were not popular, especially in south, Garrison was not received well. During his lifetime, Garrison received more than ten death-threat-letters and one of his abolitionist frinds were murdered by southern extremits. Despite such difficulty, Garrison refused to desert his belief and continue publicizing egalitarian beliefs. Finally, Garrison's insistence paid off that, after the controversial case of Dred v Scott, many northernors used claims in 'the liberator' as weapons against southern slaveholders. Thus, we can say that it is wise for Garrison to preserve his original idea.

Similarily, Ford Frick, president of National Baseball League in 1945-1953, made a right choice through insitence on his own thought. In 1947, Brooklin Dogers offered Jackie Ronins a contract, first African American signed by League teams. Himself an egalitarian, Ford Frick spoke in favour of Doger's decision in public, Unexpectedly, his response provoked a potential crisis. 1\3 of the players in League threatened that they would strike if Robinson was admitted to League. However, the threat failed to daunt Ford to give up his position. One month later, Ford approve Robinson's contract formally and expresed his opinion with a powerful speech stting that, 'everyone in America has the right to work as other citizens. Wharever the consequence, League will go with Robinson.' Inspired by Jackson's admission and Ford's speech, more and more distinuished Negro players attended the League and audience began to accept racial integration in sports fields. Thus, from Ford's case, we can see the necessity of persisting initial oppinions.

On many occasions l, sensible decisions derive fron insistence on own ideas. For one's own idea to produce good results, one must deem his or her idea as true. In the examples above, both Ford and Garrison believed their egalitarian views as morally justified. Thus, we can conclude that it is best for people not to change their opinions they believe as right.

Writing Feedback / Sat essay - worrying too much about other people's opinions... [3]

assignment: Does worrying too much about other people's opinions prevents us from seeing things clearly?

Before making choices, we often seek for other people's opinions. For example, when I decide to purchase online, I often refer to former customers' assessments first. However, because individuals often express their points to achieve certain goals, such ideas may fail to report the truth. Thus, it can be readily stated that people may find it difficult to discover the truth if they emphasize too much on other people's opinions. From US history, one can see how this statement proves to be true.

We can see the faults of excessive emphasis on other people's opinions in as early as colonial era. In early 16th century, 'captive narratives' , novels relating the story of survivors from Indian tribes' abductions, was very popular. These books characterized Native Americans as brutal and demanded an immediate expulsion of Indian tribes from colonies. Predictably, such misleading ideas convinced many innocuous people that Native Americans are evil and everything done to them are not immoral. However, they fail to see the truth about Native Americans. Far from being ruthless, brutal, native

Americans were very hospitable and only attacked potential intruders. In fact, 'captive narratives' just distorted native Americans' images to justify their authors' avarice to Indian territory. Had not those readers relied so much on author's opinion, they would have judged Native Americans more objectively.

'Yellow journalism' before the Spanish-American war also displays how misleading sometimes other people's opinions are. After Maine, an American battleship, exploded at Cuban coasts without known reasons, to engage more readers, newspaper publisher William Hearst,regardless of fact,vociferously accused Spanish of sinking Maine to provoke war against USA,with sensational headlines'our enemies split the warship Maine into two with an secret bomb'. As expected, such propanganda convinced many citizens that Spanish was looking for a war with USA and stirred widespread hostility against Spanish. However, had those readers considered more carefully, they would understand that Spanish never intended to fight with USA. Just two hour after Maine's explosion, Spanish governments dispatched officials to American ambassadors to show innocence. In effect, Hearst produced those reports only to seize more customers, rather than pursue journalistic truth, It is credulity to Hearst's opinions that hinder readers from clarifying truth.

In many cases like two above, other people's opinions prove to be wrong. Such things occusrs because these opinions are given to achieve unjustified purpose at the expanse of distortion.Hearst gave ideas to seize profits and 'captive narrative' to justify crimes. Thus, we can conclude that opinions given by others who have unjustified motives can hinder us from seeing things clearly.

Writing Feedback / Sat essay: Is conscience a more powerful motivation than fame, power or money? [3]

People often have two incentives: avarice and conscience. Although avarice can produce temporary passion, only conscience can motives humanities persist consistently. In other words, people often abandon their avarice for money, power or fame for the sake of conscience. Thus, it can be readily stated that conscience is a more powerful motivator than money, power or fame. From US history, one can see how this statement proves to be true.

Compelled by conscience, many northern abolitionists rejected pecuniary tempt to help escaped slaves. In 1850, to placate outraged southern slaveholders, congress passed 'fugitive slave act', which stated that any northern citizens who send a fugitive slave back would get 10 dollars' reward, then an appealing amount. Despite such pecuniary tempt, many northern abolitionists still chose to follow their conscience. Those abolitionists believe that no race is superior enough to prosper on exploitation of another and they are obligated to save fugitive slaves from perils. Motivated by such moral beliefs, abolitionists built Underground Railroad, which helped fugitive slaves escape to Canada from vicious slave hunters. By 1860, more than 100,000 slaves successfully fled to Canada through this route. Thus, in this case, we can see how conscience defeats pecuniary avarice.

Again, conscience overwhelmed concern over money when National Baseball League president Ford Frick approved Dodger's recruitment of Jackie Robinson, the first Negro player in the League. In 1947, when Brookline Dodger boldly offered Robinson a contract, Ford expressed his support with an energetic speech. Unintentionally, his response provoked an outcry among white players and thus incurred potential financial crisis. Informed of his attitude, many racist players, nearly 1\4 of all league players, threatened that they would strike if Ford admitted Robinson. Furthermore, several economists have predicted that League would lose at least 1million if this happened. Though concerned over potential loss, Ford put his conscience on the first place. Ford holed an evangelical belief that in USA, everyone has the right to play as any other, regardless of his or her race. Finally, Ford approved the recruit ion of Robinson with another powerful speech stating that' our League will go down the line with Robinson whatever the consequence', permitting Robinson the first Negro player in League. Thus, we can see, for Ford, conscience was a more powerful stimulus.

Despite cases above showcasing the power of conscience, many people argue that they are more loyal to money or fame. However, people loyal to fame can preserve in the short term while those to consience forever. Even though many tycoons have donated money several years to establish fame as philanthropist, only Mother Teresa can devote her wholelife helping others. Futhermore, as shown in cases above, individuals forsake avarice for moral objectives. Thus, we can conclude that people are more incensed by conscience than money,fame, or power.

Writing Feedback / SAT ESSAY：ease does not challenge us? [3]

Topic: do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us determine who we are?

People get different things from different situations. From ease people can just get superficial satisfaction while through adversity they can learn their true beliefs. Thus, it can be readily stated that ' ease does not challenge us; adversity helps us determine who we are'. From US history, one can see how this statement peoves to be true.

Before the war of independence, a series of adversities built the 13 colonies' belief. In the era of ' salutary neglect',13 colonies lived with mild ease. Because the British congress never tended to impose harsh regulation on colonies, all colonies enjoyed a certain degree of automacy and saw no need to unit together. However, after the French and Indian's war, serious adversity came.To pay enormous debt the war had incurred, congress began to impose variety of taxes on the colonies and tried to deprive the colonies of right to self-governing. In 1767, the congress passed the Stamp Act, forcing colonies to pay irrational tax on any official document. In 1770, British sent 10000 troops to Massacusette, nearly half the population of Boston. In 1773, after the Boston Tea party poured the tea of East Indian company, incensed congress passed Intolerable Acts,which disbanded Massacusett's legislature and forbidded any residents from assemblying. As a result, colonies were forced to face the challenge to their automacy and find a way to regain their rights. Through adversity, colonies realized their true beliefs. They were able to understand that because single colony is so weak, it is necessary to unite together to defend their rights. In essense, the colonies bacame aware of their true identity. However, such thing only happened when they were faced with difficulties.

Similarily, in the war of 1812,USA, then a fledging nation formed by the former 13 colonies, see its national belief through adversities. Before the war, the fledging nation had never encountered any economic hardship. With the import from Great Britain, US industry kept prospering. However, such prosperity ended abruptly when president Madison declared war on Great Britain. As soon as the war started, British congress cut all exports to USA. Without the import, US economy suffered enormously that the GDP of USA shrinked to 1\3 of its original size. Therefore, USA was overwhelmed with serious crisis and was forced to discover a way to overcome the difficulty. Along its struggle against difficulty, USA find its true self. USA began to understand that the only way to become am economically strong nation is to develop is to develop the industry independently. From then on, USA gradually get rid of the reliance on import and became a self-sufficient industry nation. Thus, it can be infered that it was the adversity that create a nation with independent identity.

Despite the case above showcasing the benefit of adversity, many people prefer ease to adversity bacause ease can provide them with immediate satisfaction. However, such satisfaction is superficial and transient and in the long term may alienate people from their true selves. In the Roaring Twenties, it seemed so easy to get fortune that most people lost theirobjective and indulge themselves with alcohol. In contrast, although in the short term adversity may hurted individuals, in the long term it can help them find their beliefs. The situation also aplied to the nationa above. Throgh the crisis the colonies got the belief of unity and USA the belief of economic independence. Thus, we can conclude that ease does not challenge us and adversities help us discover who we are.

Writing Feedback / 'people who give their opinion for justified purpose are heroes' - sat essay [2]

topic:should heroes be defined as people who say what they think who say what they think when we do not have the courage?

Heroes should sometimes be defined as people who take the risk of saying what they believed as right while others dare not. Such definition is justified in the cases of John Adams and Tom Sawyer.

John Adams, later the second US president, was a hero when he defended two innocent redcoats in the court. In the Boston massacre of 1773, because of the attack by several mobs, two redcoats were forced to start fire and kill two mobs to protect themselves. Even though most people knew the innocence of the two redcoats, afraid of some fanatic Massachusetts colonists who hated the British ruling so much that they even tried several times to torture the royal governor, no attorney dared to defend the two redcoats, However, John Adams, really a brave and determined man, believing that the redcoats' behavior was justified, agreed to defend them with the word that:' I only side myself with the side of truth and justice.' and finally succeed proving the innocence of the two solders. It is his boldly saying his thought that established himself as a hero.

Similarly, we can define Henry Sinclair, a famous muckraker, as a hero. In the first decade of 20th century, terrified by the insanity of meatpacking industry, many reporters tried to report it to the public. After knowing their plan, several powerful meatpacking factories, such as CLAIR MEAT, threatened them that ' keep you mouth closed or go to hell'. However, not daunted by the threat as other reporters did, Sinclair published ' the jungle', which revealed how dirty the meatpacking process was. After reading his book, the public got indignant and urged the reform in the meatpacking industry, forcing President Roosevelt enforce the Meat Inspection Act to improve the sanity of the industry. In this case, no one would deny that frankly speaking Sinclair was a hero.

On many cases, people who speak what they thought are defined as heroes. In these cases,people who bravely give their thought can only be defined as heroes when they have justified purpose such as helping others. People who boldly insult othes can not be defined as heroes because they do not have justified purpose. In Adam's case, he tried to defend the innocent redcoats from unjustified penalty, and in Sinclair's case, Sinclair tried to make public aware of how their health was threatened. Thus, we can conclude that people who give their opinion for justified purpose should be defined as heroes.

Writing Feedback / sat essay: should all people's opinions opinions be valued equally? [8]

informed opinions be taken seriously?

John Chafee once said:' opinions are valuable only when they're backed by thorough knowledge of the subject' .Though the words seem justified, they are wrong sometimes.When the experts give flippant opinions withouy careful thinking and thorough research,rather than following them, we should pay attention to others' opinions as well.

In the case of Dust Bowl, the informed Federal Agriculture Depatment made a tremendous mistake. In the Great Plain region, because the climate is dry there, the soil is vulnerable to wind erosion. To preserve the soil, farmers oftern limited plowing. However, from 1930 to 1935, the region rained untypically affluently.Thus, without any scientific research, the FAD concluded that the climate in the Great Plain had changed permanetly and encouraged farmers to increase plowing.Beliving in the FAD, farmers doubled the sizes of plowing. However, in 1936, the weather became extremely dry again and nearly 1/3 of the soil, extremely loose after over plowing ,was driven away,resulting in the Dust Bowl destroying 2/3 of the farmlands in Ohio and Kansas. In this case, even thogh FAD was more informed, it did not consider carefully and gave a rather flippant and absurd suggestion. Instead,the farmers, though not so informed, had developed a suitable work method. Had they adhered to their own idea rather than following informed FAD, they would not have suffered so much. Thus, this case showed the necessity of valuing the ideas of people not so informed.

In Pavolva's case, the authority gave fallible opinion again. Anna Pavolva, an inovative Russian ballerina, modified her shoes to save energy .However, many critics, esapecially Nicolas, the editor of 'ballet world' ,disproved her adaptation, arguing that her adaptation would not be accepted because it reduced the sophistication and loftness of ballet. Despite such critism, Pavolva persisted her adaption. Finally, out of critics' anticipation, Pavolva's adaptation was commonly applauded because with less energy consumed, she can dance more elegantly. In 1908, Pavolva became so popular that 18 coutries invited her to perform.In the case above, though the critics were probably more informed, they did not give a correct idea because instead of reliable research ,they based their ideas on the unsubstantiated assertion that audience only valued' sophisticated actions'. Fortuanetly, Pavolva persisted her right dea and gained success. Thus, we can see from Pavolva's success that sometimes we should question the authorities' ideas.

Even though experts gave fallible opinions in the cases above, when they presented their ideas after careful thinking, such ideas should be more emphasized than others. For example, after months' debate, many informed people such as Jefferson, Madison produced the Constitutio of US, proved to be a treasure for democacy. Arguably,the informed are more likely to give right ideas, but they can also make mistake without careful thinking. Thus, we should value all people's opinions when the informed gives flippant opinions.

Essays / Advice on SAT essay writing - what should I pay most attention to? [2]

What should I pay most attention to in the Sat essay? logic,structure, example, or anything else?
Fthermore, what should I do with my body paragraph? should I just fill it with my supporting examples, or should I try to opine on the examples?

Writing Feedback / sat essay: Do people succeed by emphasizing their difference from others? [3]

currently, some people believe that their difference from others would result in failure because it is likely to alienate them from others' help. On the otherhand ,many people argue that their difference from others help them maximum their advantage and find more creative method. Consequently, I do reckon that people could gain success with their difference from others. Please allow me to illustrate my point using the judo master, Tanaka Akira and second biggest cab company in USA, Avis company, as examples.

Tanaka Akira, the famous judo player, use his differnce from others to get success. Since 5, Akira started practicing judo and aimed tp become the world champion. However, when Akira was 7, a serious disease left him a powerless right arm that he could not even hold chopsticks. Despite the misfortune, Akira did not give up his careere and seek for methods to compensate for her disability, Five years later, a match totally changed his career. In that match, Akira unintentionally found a technique which the only way to strike back is to hold his right arm, an act made impossible by his feeble right arm. From then on, Akira practiced this invincible technique repeatedly and made significiant progress. Finally, when he was 20, Akira became ther yougest champion of Judo, which soon established him as the world famous master. Consequently, the emphasis on difference from others help Akira to convert an disadvantage to his unique advantage.

Avis company also intentionally emphasize their difference in its advertisement. Though most company use tjhe word' we are the best' to attract attention from the public, Avis company use a truly differnt tactic, saying that ' we are always the second' , which Avis company said implies that they would always try their best to chase the first. Enchanted by such creative publicity method, customers began pay great attention to Avis company and Avis finally became the second biggest cab company nationwide. No one would deny that it is Avis's difference attracted the customers,

Consequently, the exxamples of Avis and Akira serve to explain how people get succeed by emphasizing their uniqueness.

Writing Feedback / sat essay:Do highly accomplished people achieve more because they expect more? [NEW]

Currently, people tend to regard the unsatisfied will to achieve more as the source of their unhapiness and frustration, which would discourage them from success. On the other hand, ambition would create stronger, more passionately driven people who persist despite hardships and are more willing to work hard. Thus, people with the will to achieve more are more likely to success. So, I do reckon that accomplished people acieve more because they expect more. Please allow me to illustrate my point using the famous tennis player, Hewit, and distinguished Swedish female author, Selma Lagerloff.

The success of Huwit can exemplifies how strong will builds a diligent athlete. When Hewit began to parctice Tennis as a boy of 7, his goal was to become the best player in the worldand win the championship. Holding this ambition, Hewit trained tennis in a more strict standards than others did that everyday he would practise tennis technique three hours longer than others. Consequently, Hewit progressed very fast and had won several local prize when he was 14. However, Hewit did not get satisfied due to his high goal and still get intense training schedule. Before17 ,Huwit had injured his ankle for three times due to dash in the high-intensity training. Finally, when he was 20, Hewit became the yougest player to win the world's champion. Undoubtedly, It is the high expectation propell the boy to become the world champion.

Strong will also turns Selma Lagerloff, once a lame girl,to a world famous author. After a serious disease left her lamed, 7 years old Selma could not get standard writting and reading education in scool but just learn limited knowledge from her personal tutor, who loves reading and writting very much. Under the infuence of her tutor, Selma developed a strong interest in writting and set an ambition to become a famous author. However, due to the lack of standard knowledge and skill on writting or even such talent, Selma could not write a word in the first10 years. Instead of giving up, holding the ambition, Selma tried her best to compensate for her disadvantage. Despite her natural disability, Selma had persisted to go to campus for extensive reading and standard trainging for nearly 10 years. Finally, when she was 40 , Selma won the Nobel Prize for Literature with ' the adventure of niels' , which soon established her the most prestigious author. Thus, we can infer from Selma's success that people with high expectations are more likely to stick in the hardship and gain success.

The examples of Selma and Huwit suggest that high expectations help people to achieve more.