Writing Feedback / GRE: Adam's Realty firm is considerably superior to the Fitch's Realty firm [2]

Which Real Estate Firm is Superior?

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

RESPONSE:

The above argument deduces that the Adam's Realty firm is considerably superior to the Fitch's Realty firm. The argument however relies on certain assumptions which may or may not be realistic. The analysis of quantitative data provided can present better evidence for this purpose than the data itself.

The first assumption is that Adam's Realty has more productivity due to a higher number of employees. However, in comparison, Fitch's Realty has almost half of those employees. Many of these employees work only part-time. The argument states that with a double number of employees, Adam's Realty has earned double revenue. This ultimately reflects that both these firms have equal productivity with respect to their number of employees.

Another assumption is that a higher home sales average reflects better performance by the Adam's Realty. However, it should be noted that the difference between the revenues of the two companies, only accounts to $24,000. Considering that the Fitch's firm has only a half number of employees than the Adam's, the former seems to lead the year in home sales. From this point, it may be deduced that Fitch's firm is superior and probably more concentrated on home sales than other projects.

Also, the argument presents the evidence of a faster sale but the evidence is extremely flawed. The ten year period can help a company establish its business, increase its productivity and thus, highly affect the overall performance. It is possible that during this period the performance of Fitch's company has also improved and they would now be able to sell the house in less than a month's time and at a higher price. The home sales revenue data from the last year certainly supports the idea.

The argument seems flawed but it can be improved if the data is critically analyzed. Also, there is a need to understand that every company has a set of goals. If the Fitch's firm is focusing on home sales, then provided the data they are successful.

(Kindly provide a score on a scale of 1 to 6)

Writing Feedback / GRE Argument: A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys.. [2]

The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

RESPONSE:

In the argument presented, a deduction has been made that the birth order of an individual may affect their simulation level due to changes in hormone secretion. However, it can be argued that the observed results are not because of the birth order rather the higher stimulation is due to the first time exposure to such simulations. This can consequentially change the predictions made by these studies.

The argument is supported using two main evidences. The second evidence from the study using Rhesus monkey as subjects, it was seen that first-time mothers produced more cortisol. However, the increased levels of cortisol cannot be associated with birth orders since the study does not observe the hormonal differences between first-born mothers and the younger-born mothers. The evidence is related to first-time pregnancy hence the increase may only be due to first time exposure to this condition.

The first evidence does however involve the first-born humans and monkeys producing higher levels of cortisol when faced with certain alarming situations. Although this does indicate the correlation between the birth order and the stimulation levels, it does not indicate causation between the two. The increased secretion of hormones might actually be a transferred character from parents. Most probably, the character has been influenced in some way during the pregnancy as most mothers, especially in monkeys, were probably fist-time mothers. This can also be an inherited genetic character and thus only a larger data can provide appropriate evidence.

Conclusively, the birth order may be relevant to some extent in the stimulation level of individuals. However, there may be certain other factors that are more relevant than the birth order such as those discussed above. Further studies and a larger population data maybe more convincing for that matter.

(Kindly rate the argument on a scale of 1 to 6)

Writing Feedback / GRE Argument: Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity [2]

"Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity. One graduate of the course was able to read a 500-page report in only two hours; another graduate rose from an assistant manager to vice president of the company in under a year. Obviously, the faster you can read, the more information you can absorb in a single workday. Moreover, Easy Read would cost Acme only $500 per employee-a small price to pay when you consider the benefits. Included in this fee is a three-week seminar in Spruce City and a lifelong subscription to the Easy Read newsletter. Clearly, to improve productivity, Acme should require all of our employees to take the Easy Read course."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.eport just as fast?

Response:

The increase in productivity of any company is due an overall increase in the work efficiency of all employees and not individuals. Just assuming that an increase in any one character because of taking a course will increase the productivity is unjustified. There may be several factors at play and surely office environment would have changed at least a bit since before the course. The company needs to evaluate the difference made by this course and not the difference made by the company overall. Only then can it be confirmed that the course really made a significant difference for the employees and ultimately, for the company.

The first question that arises is whether the inclusion of the course was the only change made? Were there other courses, trainings or assistance provided to the company employees at that time? Furthermore, changes in office environment such as computers and laptop, seating arrangements, number of employees and changes in management must be analyzed. These changes may play more important roles in increasing productivity than an Easy-Read one!

Also, it should be noted that an increase in reading speed is not proportional to the speed of understanding and critically analyzing important documents. One need to read carefully not fast in order to achieve fair understanding and respond accordingly. Hence the efficiency in complete tasks should be observed instead of just in the reading part. Furthermore, the evidence of high reading speeds maybe flawed if those observed already possessed efficient reading skills. Also, the other graduate may have rose because of extreme hard work, an open position or even favoritism!

Most importantly, the three week in Spruce City was a break from routine and hence would have been more refreshing than the course itself. The increased reading efficiency can therefore be induced by these emotions and may as well be temporary. A longer term observation may bring out the defect in this supposedly increased productivity.

If the company thinks that the course has made a significant change they should evaluate the profits earned before and after this period. A $500 charge for reading practice may only be justified if, in turn, the profits can fill up the cost spent. The Acme company can then evaluate its potential advantage for their own employees.

(The word count is 364 which seems very low from GRE perspective. Please suggest new points that may be included)

Writing Feedback / GRE Argument: "Palean baskets" archeologists discovery [2]

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Response:

The previous archaeological assumptions seem to present a constricted view. Only because the characteristic pattern has been found in the vicinity areas previously does not mean it is restricted to that area. Furthermore, in ancient times people used to trade their goods in exchange of food. Also, fishing was a rather important food source hence the interaction between these across-the-river villages must be frequent.

In order to analyse the argument, we first and foremost need to understand the frequency and nature of the interaction between the two communities. The absence of 'Palean' boats so not provide sufficient evidence that there was no interaction between the people of Palea and of Lithos. The ancient boats might have withered over time, sunk or Paleans might have been using boats other than 'Palean' boats. Furthermore, there may have been more Lithos travelling to Palea than otherwise. Thus the travel might have been more frequent than previously thought.

The woven baskets with the Palean patterns may still be Palean and traded with people of other villages including Lithos. Again, the travel through boats can be possible due to previously explained reasons. Futhermore, there is a chance that via fishing, the two villages might have interacted more hence increasing the exchange of goods.

Another possible argument is that although the travel might be as rare as thought, the transfer of skills is still possible. The travelers might have learned the specific patterns and evolved the basket weaving further. The fact may be explained well if such an evolution is seen in the baskets and other woven items.

Since archaeology is a science on unearthing the past however several truths might still remain hidden. Hence we should remain open to the possibilities that certain evidences have loopholes which might be more visible if contradictory evidences appear. In this case, Palean baskets were not Palean because they were found near the village but because they were yet not found anywhere far away.

(The word count is 325 which seems very low from GRE perspective. Please suggest new points that may be included)

Writing Feedback / GRE Essay: Scandals are useful because they focus our attention [3]

Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Response:

Scandals often bring hot news for people whether involving public at large or just a few individuals. It certainly brings to focus, the issues that exists in society but are often not highlighted enough for common man. However, their single sided representation cannot be considered useful as it might enrage some false emotions.

It is easy to grab a piece of news featured in a magazine or broadcasted through television. But it is extremely difficult to detect the hidden, intricate details and analyze the issue from different perspectives. Most often, the news is sliced up in an opinion making it difficult to form any personal opinions.

Recently, Donald Sterling's racist comments were brought to light. Being himself involved with a sport which is predominantly played by dark skinned players, his comments were thought to be moronic at best. The remarks successfully enraged most of the country yet, many failed to realize that such recordings were probably breaching privacy. And when Edward Snowden fights for our privacy, he's a hero!

Scandals might bring to focus certain news that we might have ignored for some time. But does it bring to us what is more important in the present time? Our everyday Facebook news feed is littered with celebrity news, some political issue in far away countries and women rights issues. Yet, currently the most threatening news around has been the potential spread of MERS, a viral respiratory disease. Of course it has brought our focus on key issues yet it has all too well hidden what is necessary for the survival.

It may be argued that without these scandals, we might not become aware of the intensity with which a certain issue is rising. Again, with the example of Edward Snowden, we would certainly not have suspected such a huge case. He was well appreciated for his bravery but some also labeled him a traitor. In view of all the arguments and the revelations, he might rightly be both a traitor and a patriot. Hence, most often, biased opinions are forced along with the news.

It is not just some big scandal that is needed to bring issues to light. To move people there must be something that they feel they are related to. Take example of teen girls' abduction in Nigeria. People from around the world are not only acknowledging the issue but also taking action in any way they can instead of merely protesting.

Today, we need to focus on issues that are not only necessary to address but also as urgent that we need to put all efforts in solving them. Scandals may help us but they are usually involved or at least made public when they do not concern the public at large. Also, opinionated statements from the scandal revealers should definitely be thought upon before believing as is.

(Please correct any errors found and mark on a scale of 1-6)

Writing Feedback / GRE: fields of study in which students are unlikely to succeed should be banned [5]

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

(Response)

Educational institutes have the responsibility of providing students a good knowledge base and making them competent enough to take their own decisions. Teachers and facilitators may have a good understanding of the skills and mind of an individual student yet this understanding does not exceeds student's self awareness. Therefore, under no circumstance, should an institute discourage a student in pursuing what they wish to pursue.

A student, if taught well and provided with adequate sources of information, will be aware of the skills and talents they have. They will also be aware of their interest and inspiration necessary for success in future. Based on this knowledge, they can better choose for themselves. It may be argued that a teacher knows a student's weakness and hence will be more than capable to guide them. However, if a weakness exists it may be worked upon if one is motivated.

Students may not always have a choice of pursuing the field that interests them. Many of my classmates at high school had intention of joining the medical college only because their parents wanted them to. In this case, educational institutes should have intervened and helped students to find out their interests and parental sessions might have been conducted too. Still, no discouragement should be shown to such students for whatever they decide to choose in the end.

Peer influence is yet another problem that the students face while deciding what to pursue next. Losing friends, transferring to another city or going abroad, choosing fields with no certain future etc. might be harder than presumed by educational institutes. The students should be motivated to go for what they think is right for them; sometimes it may be choosing what interests them and sometimes not. In my case, I had excellent mathematical skills yet I chose biology because that was where my interest lied.

The future success is considered to be based on an individual's talent in a field. However, their interest is usually fueled by passion to do something unique. Without this passion there will be no reason for hard work and thus, a student may fail even in the field they are considered to be proficient.

It is necessary for the students to be well equipped while choosing their future. This important role is obviously played by their educational institutes. But the students should be made capable of choosing well for themselves. Also, trust should be shown in their choices and in them.

(Please mark on a scale of 1-6)

Writing Feedback / GRE Essay: major cities study to learn characteristics of a society [5]

To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

(Response)

A society is an amalgam of cultures and lifestyles. To study a society it is necessary to study all of its characters; education, entertainment, food, and religion. The major cities are usually a hub of resources and opportunities hence people from all socioeconomic background arrive and develop these cities bringing along their languages, religions, cuisine, and entertainment sources. Although the major cities may not represent the true population, these can still provide a beneficial approximation of a society.

Education is what defines a society in today's world. I have seen in my own city, an infinite number of schools, colleges and universities in both government and private sector. Of course, the public schools and colleges are comparatively less progressive than those in private sector but, for universities, the case is reversed. It is due to adequate funding from the government for the research and development purpose. The conditions of these educational institutes more appropriately reflect the overall literacy of the population.

The socioeconomic background of people can be studied viewing the job types and daily expenditures of individuals and families. In cities, the careers may vary from clerical positions to executive ones. Apart from the working class, businessmen, industrialists, politicians, all inhabit these cities and present the economical chart that may exist. In our country, villages mostly present the agricultural setup and hence most working class is constituted by farmers. The towns more often are full of people trained in a particular skill for e.g. football sewing in the city of Faisalabad. Hence these towns and villages may not be an appropriate representation of the whole society.

The language, arts and literature is what unites the diverse members of society despite of their educational, religious and economical differences. The national language, provincial languages, and variety of dialects almost all can be found in the major cities. Most of the city dwellers are bilingual and many even multilingual who thereby support and promote the literature.

It may be argued that the condition in these major cities highly vary from those observed in smaller cities, towns and villages. This is particularly true for underdeveloped and developing countries. The most important difference is of traditional values observed in towns and villages. Major cities around the globe present a similar freedom loving environment however, that is not true for the smaller dwellings. Human rights specially children and women rights are often ignored and violated in these areas and are in a significant way, representative of the social thinking.

The major cities may not truly reflect the overall society but it does provide us an easy manner to study and analyze a society. Studying minor cities and towns may only provide knowledge regarding the local population. The only other option would be to study each and every town and village setting, which is almost impossible.

(Please grade on a scale of 1-6)

Writing Feedback / GRE Issue Essay: Kindly check the response and advice accordingly. [6]

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

RESPONSE:

Technology, in simple terms, is the solution developed by humans to make their everyday life easier. The introduction of newer technologies in market essentially represents the evolution of human creativity hence the current developments reflect our ability to envision lives that are less laboring and more meaningful. It is important to remember that humans may be dependent on technology but the technology is just as dependent on human mind.

From the laptops and other personal devices to the automated instruments and machineries, technology has made life easier. Multiple tasks may be performed with high efficiency in a relatively short time. The time hence secured can then be put to better usage. For example, a calculator helps students perform simple mathematical functions quickly. However, one must understand the problem and apply logic in order to develop a potential solution. This ultimately polishes our finer skills of problem solving which are applied in almost every part of human life.

Similarly, the ease with which the information is practically available at our fingertips has made it easier for us to work on the potential usage of this information. Personal devices such as laptops, tablets and mobile phones have made communication as well as interaction easier. Some may associate it with our lack of exposure to the books however, as scientifically evident, this easier interaction relates to increased exchange of ideas and thus, creativity.

Even the field of sciences has seen the advantages of introducing technology especially in laboratory settings. Many automated instruments and computing softwares have taken the task of collecting and organizing the scientific data. In this manner, several experiments run parallel and the accuracy of results is increasingly reliable. The 'Big Data' is hence presented and organized into data sets which may then be easily analyzed by the scientists. Although, most of the experimental techniques are performed by programmed instruments, the secrets hidden in between the numbers can only be figured out by the ever inquisitive mind of a scientist. This helps them to focus on developing solutions (such as better treatments) rather than gathering miles of data necessary for a reliable study.

In industries, automation has helped increase the growth of products. The automobile industry has recently seen a high rise in robotic assemblage corresponding to exponentially increased sales. Still, one of the most reputed automobile companies, Toyota is now returning to manual means. The reason behind such a decision is that the robots only perform a programmed procedure and lacks the human insight. The greatest innovations in automobiles and broadly, all other industries has been brought because of the understanding of finer details by the workers. For the introduction of more innovative products, it is necessary that men remain a constitutive part of the industrial workforce.

All in all, our reliance on technology has surely increased and some have become necessary for our daily lives to continue without hassle. Yet, it is the human mind that has led us to this era of technology and the end of such inventions is not in sight still. If anything, the latest innovations has challenged the human mind to come up with even more creative and insightful improvements in modern technology.

(Response = 529 words)