Writing Feedback / The International Graduate Students in some Canadian Universities [2]

The International graduated students in Canadian Universities are revealed by the bar chart and it is differentiated by some Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. The chart had seen significant changes in all categories in 2006 with New Brunswick as the highest level. However, only Alberta had fallen almost 2 points.

By the 2001's, New Brunswick had a position at 7, but the next period saw the extremely climb almost 12. The second place had been obtained by New Scotia and British Columbia. Nevertheless, only British Columbia had shown significant changes by 6 points. However, the only decrease had experienced by Alberta, roughly 6 points in 2001 and 4 in 2006. Then, Manitoba, and New Foundland and Labrador had indicated the same trend over the period.

Overall, the International graduates in some Canadian Universities came from New Brunswick presenting the most noticeable changes, while Alberta showed the different trend. This chart illustrates that more student had graduated from Canadian University from 2001 to 2006.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A comparing of normal circumtances and El Nino circumtances in the Pacific Ocean [2]

The comparing of normal circumstances and El Nino circumstances in the Pacific Ocean were presented in the two diagrams. It is important to note that there are different effects from both of the situations.

In the normal condition, the cloud blow and rain to the land because the west pacific wind breeze slow and the east pacific wind breeze really strong. It is good for land life and sea life. In the land, a living thing finds so much water from a cloud. In the sea, there is no domination from the warm water, so that the sea has a cool water and contain rich nutrient for sea life.

Different with a normal condition, because of El Nino, the west pacific wind move totally strong and the east pacific is slow so that the cloud blow to the sea and the warm water flow to eastwards. It can cause the land getting dry. The cool water will be in the deep sea, so the sea has the lack of nutrients.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The Government Should Handle The Obesity Problem [3]

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Nowadays, many people live with obesity not only adults but also children. Obesity is a problem which have to be solved together because it has become a global epidemic. I completely believe that this case should be public notice that its solution must be thought seriously.

There is no doubt that in this modern era people live in busy activity and a sophisticated technology has helped directly someone to do something easily so that people will live with sedentary and unhealthy lifestyle. A sedentary lifestyle is like sitting down continually in front of the computer, watching television in a long time and so on. Moreover, because of people always wanting to move quickly, they often consume fast food every time. Consuming fast food also emerge as obesity problem which becomes an unhealthy lifestyle. These lifestyles affect people health. Many diseases are caused from the unhealthy habits.

Actually, many things can be done to resolve the obesity case. Firstly, people have to start living with healthy habits. People should aware with their health because the obesity does not give many advantages. They can start to avoid consuming a fast food and doing a physical exercise. They must realize that fast food offers many disadvantages for their health: heart disease, diabetic, cholesterol, high blood pressure, cirrhosis and even cancer. Secondly, a good habit must be taught from early ages. Parents and school have a responsibility for children habits. They have to teach children how to live in healthy lifestyle such as asking for physical activity continually, preparing a healthy food for children in their home or school and giving a suggestion about which a good or bad habit.

Thirdly, the government also confer a way to solve an obesity problem. The government should arrange some rule for food industries and fast food restaurants like making food standards for every fast food, restricting operational fast food restaurant's time just until evening and making the rule for fast food advertisement. If the government give responsibility for this case, it can be resolved immediately.

To sum up, there are many ways to solve an obesity problem. If the solution is thought together, the figure of living in obesity can be pressured and many people have to aware with this issue.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task2: The Smart Dress Is Not The Only One Factor Which Indicate The Quality of Employees Job [2]

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, we can see that many workers wear fine clothes. Some companies recommend their worker wearing it to support their career. In a job situation, there are other assessments to cause that the employers' job become a high quality such as ability, discipline, knowledge, and performance.

Sometimes, a gorgeous dress creates a good image for people who wear it. It is considered which can explain a great worker performance. Moreover, many companies want their employees to dress nicely when they meet colleagues, clients or customers. However, others believe that a professional performance not only being sustained by fine clothes but also the others factors. For example, a skillful worker is really needed by companies of technology.

I completely believe that an employer have to has a great ability, knowledge and so on to support their career besides appearance. Many examples can explain it. Presenters must have not only attractive appearance but also a great communication skill and a good attitude. So, they will look gorgeous in front of their audiences. A technician has to understand about technology and must has a great ability in technology. However, I strongly consider that a worker have to dress which make them comfortable. If an employer feels comfortable, it can increase their performance.

Finally, these explain that appearance is not the most important thing to support someone's career. Sometimes, the term of 'do not judge a book by cover' are the good way to observe people performances.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The Government Should Fund Education and Healthcare Sectors Free for Residents [NEW]

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that the government should provide a government funding for education and health sectors and make it free for citizens. I totally agree with this notion that the government have to concern to both of two sectors because these is basic sectors which will grow a country.

Education and healthcare are two important of resident basic needs which must be conferred by the government. A country must have educated people to develop their own country. A health is also a basic human need which confer people feeling happy. The healthier citizens are, the higher government development is. So, both of them have to be assured by a government because those determine the government progress.

Making clearly, some European countries can be an example for a government who apply free tuition fee for their own school and Singapore also become an example for the best education country. Free tuition fee offers an opportunity for citizens obtaining an education. They can evolve their ability and knowledge so that the government also get advantages like having a proffesional worker in each field. We know about Singapore that they have the best education in the world and Singapore is one of the developed country. Good education and developed country are identical things. It is not vastly different with healthcare expense. If the government guarantee the healthcare fee, inhabitants will feel comfortable because they can work professionally without worried. Moreover, old people can feel happy in their retired time.

Finally, if both of them are fulfilled by the government, there are no worries for residents and they can focus with their self-development. The government and residents can be considered as interdependence.

Writing Feedback / The picture of Fairmont Island in the eyes of regular visitors. [2]

IELTS Task 1: The Survey of The Most Usual Advantages and Disadvantages of Fairmont Island

The two of pie chart depict the survey of the most usual advantages and disadvantages of Fairmont Island by the traveller opinion. At first glance, it is evident that the most usual advantage comes from the resident who lives there and the most usual disadvantage was gained by high expense of living.

The most general advantages from Fairmont Island tourism place which was observed by visitors consisted of the four selections: the citizens, the panorama, a great accommodation and culture. It can be seen that the inhabitants obtain 40 percent. The scenery acquires the second most choice as the Fairmont Island advantages at 37%. The last of tourist selection is a fine accommodation only 11 percent.

There are four the most general disadvantages such as a weather, an expensive expense for a living, an entertainment and a food quality. An expensive cost for a living was chosen to be the most usual disadvantages at 45%. However, a food quality became the lowest choice only 5 percent.

Ultimately, it was a clear selection that people are really keen on having a great accommodation but they did not like to be offered a high expense for a living.

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Writing Feedback / The Ways of A Wind Turbing Working And Where It Have to be Located [2]

The diagram gives the information about the ways of a wind turbine working and where it have to be located. It is important to note that the turbine basically needs strong airwaves, so there is an option to get optimum locations placing the turbine.

The airwaves turbine needs strong winds to work well and the best spot to locate the wind turbine is the highest open-place. The machine is placed where there are not trees that can block the airwaves. Sometimes, the wind turbine also places in the ocean although the highest spot is the best location because it can produce maximum wind.

If the wind has produced maximum waves, the generator gets big output. The process starts when the wind come and spin a blade which is made from fibreglass or wood. Because of achieving a strong wind, the wind machine has to be made from steel in order to support the process. Then, a wave sensor catches the energy by blade speed and direction. Afterwards, the wind which is produced is saved by a generator. The machine also is maintained by a computer, so there is a home where there is a computer inside to gain much information from the machine.

Finally, the wind machine is cheaper than other and it has an easy way to get many energies only from the wind. It is really useful because the machine can produce many energies for citizen needs.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: The Bad News Report from The Media Discourages People Doing Activity [2]

The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourages people from doing activities which usually involve very little risk.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the media, such as a mass-media, a media television, a radio broadcasting and an online media, become a great information supplier. Because of a modern technology, the media can reach a scene of action easily and fastly. A satellite catch the incident. Then, the media immediately run to an occurrence place. Afterwards, they transfer much information to public. Because of the easy way to get the information, the media often share a lot of information even if they are a bad news. Sometimes, it can be annoyed because some people feel uncomfortable with a bad news content. Moreover, many people usually do something which has a risk. For this situation, I extremely believe that the media should diminish their bad news.

The media allot much news, included bad news, which are accepted by a news achiever, such as a reader, a spectator and a radio listener. What is the bad news like? The bad news is all about information about a war, murder, crime, disaster, suicide, abuse, drug, corruption and else. Sometimes, the media report this news without a filter. Bad news often gives people worried, afraid stressed and depressed. Many psychologists believe that the bad news can bring pressure for achiever.

People who read, watch, and/or listen news occasionally feel upset because a bad news can disturb their focus from their activities to the bad news, and it also can ruin their relationship. For example, there is a news about the terrorist recently in Paris which spoil a Muslim relation with other religion in the world. We know that a news is about humanity, but it is not about religion. People who are non-Muslim become afraid with Muslim people. Moreover, this news also makes people frightened to go to everywhere in Paris.

Finally, the media have to filter all news before they share it to public. It is because sometimes people become uncomfortable with a bad news. A bad news can convert people mindset turning foul.

Writing Feedback / The figures who apply for teaching job in two different subjects in Ontario between 2001 and 2007 [3]

The line graph presents the figures who apply for teaching job during the period 2001 to 2007 in Ontario in two different subjects: English-language and French-language. Overall, it is immediately apparent that English and French language teacher recruitments had roughly the same level in the beginning. Afterwards, English-language study hit a low in 2002 then it acquired a moderate increase in 2003 while French subject had a lack of interest until 2003.

To begin, job seekers who choose one of the two subject had almost the same position. In English, subject stood at 70 percent and French subject stood at 73 percent. Next, English subject applicant hit a low to 58 % and rose to 68%. However, French-language study applicant plunged to 41% until 2003.

After 2003, the teacher who apply teaching English lesson indicated some fluctuations, but it showed a steady growth over 74 percent at the end of the period. Nevertheless, English and French courses had a similar gradual climb between 2003 and 2005 where English course gained an increase to 2% and French lesson showed a rise to 3%, but then French hit a low to 28% until the end of the period.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: The people who must give responsibility to solve children unhealthy lifestyle problem [2]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In this era, people want everything moving quickly because they worry about time. Moreover, because of sophisticated technology facilitate people to work or do something easily. It causes a new problem in an expeditious world such as unhealthy lifestyle. It is like consuming fast-food, lack of exercise, sitting a long time in front of computer or television. Pitifully, these things happen to many children.

Nowadays, many children have a bad habit. In my opinion, I extremely believe if both of schools and parents must give a hand to solve this problem. Because they are people who interact and can teach children immediately. Children learn more from school. So, school have the capability to train children to avoid unhealthy habit. The teacher can give some advice and example about the effect of unhealthy lifestyle. Thus, parents also have a controlled to their children. Bad and good habits come from their home. Parents are the first person who can teach children closely because children are often 'copycat' their parent lifestyles or habits. Parents must form their children's healthy lifestyle such as do not giving junk food to children, taking their children to a gym, swimming pool or somewhere which can make their children doing exercise than playing games in their home.

In other hands, there are some people who can participate to fight in this problem like government, non-government organization, media and some actor-industries. A government needs to make some laws about fast-food restaurant's standard such as giving a standard for nutrition in fast-food or do not give permission for a fast-food restaurant to open in the night. A non-government organization ought to organize some events which invite children doing an exercise like running event, football challenge for children or something else. Media must diminish some advertisements and news about junk food and other unhealthy lifestyles which can make children interested doing it. The last, some actor-industries have to think seriously to create products which make people still doing a healthy habit.

Finally, there are so many actors who must give responsibility to solve unhealthy lifestyle problems in children. Yet it basically starts from schools and parents because they play a role as a model who can be imitated by children.

Writing Feedback / The Citizens Obstacle to Change Their Living in A Novel Place in Three Problems [3]

The bar chart presents the citizens obstacles when they change to live abroad in a novel place and there are problem matters based on their age, such as having friends, obtaining living place, understanding the local tongue.

In young people who are 18 until 34 years old, developing friendships appear as the highest hindrance roughly 46 percent. However, the fewest problem in finding companion is people over 55 years old at 23 percent, while people in 34 to 54 years old get difficult only thirty-six percent.

It is clearly seen that the people over 55 are totally complicated to conceive diverse languange which is in 54%. In contrast, the youngest people are easier to comprehend about learning local language and get the lowest level at 29%.

Nevertheles, different with language-learning problems, the oldest people just got 22 percent for discovering place to live. However, for the others age groups, it has almost the same position in 39 and 40 percent and it means being the second hardest prolem.

Ultimately, the all age people has almost the same problem in some parts, but the oldest group experience understanding language as difficult case which get much largest level than the others.

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Writing Feedback / The Changes of Woodwards University's Map from 1985 until now [2]

The Woodwards University's map portrays the changes from 1985 until now. The most significant change is the demolition of many buildings over 20 years. It can be seen the transformation of some buildings with open-space.

First of all, the Woodwards University replaced the largest car park with a shuttle bus terminal and there had no car park anymore.The small car park reformed the lecture theatre between the science libraries and admin building. In addition to this, it switched from the road in 1980 to the shuttle bus line which connected to all buildings except the farthest, science laboratories and passes by admin building.

There have also combined some buildings. Physics block, chemistry block and biology block in the north east became science laboratories behind the lecture theatre. A library which had been opposite the biggest car park in the past was extended and joined with the IT center which now was in front of the shuttle bus terminal.

Finally, admin building which has large building in 1980 has also altered to be long building in the east. Moreover, the remnants of space was built open-space, such as footpaths.

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Writing Feedback / The Silkworm Life Cycle in 76 Days [NEW]

The cycle in the diagram depicts the silkworm life cycle during 76 days. It is important to note that the process life cycle of the silkworm consisted of four stages and definitely accounts for the moth life circle from the eggs to larva and the last cycle become the flying insect named moth.

To begin with, the mother of moth produce many eggs which hatch after 10 days. And then, the mature eggs transform a silkworm larva. Aterwards, the egg which generate the larva eat mulberry leaf for growth for 28 until 42 days (4-6 weeks) before the silk thread start to entwine larva's body. Its body gradually is twisted by the silk thread which is soft and thick. So that, in 21 or 56 days, the larva has fully covered with the silk yarn.

The last stage is the larva that has change to be silkworm cocoon. This cycle needs 16 days before the larva which is in the cocoon eventually become a flying insect named moth.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The Presence of Pupils Which School in Secondary School in Different Three Years [3]

A table gives information about the presence of pupils which school in Secondary School over the following different three years in four different school types, such as specialist schools, grammar schools, voluntary-controlled schools, and community schools. It is important to note that an gradual growth in three years and the highest rise in the last period was community schools.

In the beginning, community schools experienced a few rate at 12% in 2000, the same inception with specialist schools, but then specialist schools indicated steady reduction to the lowest level. Community schools saw an enormous rise of 32% in 2005, afterwards it found the highest percentage in 2009 at 58%.

The second highest grade was obtained by voluntary-controlled school at 52% in 2000. However, different with community school, it showed significant drop at 38% in 2005 and 20% in 2009.

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