Writing Feedback / TED talks: Clues to prehistoric times, found in blind cavefish [3]

TED talks : Clues to prehistoric times, found in blind cavefish
by Prosanta Chakrabarty

Ichthyology is a study of fishes. Recent years, scientists explore cave to find new species, particularly cavefish. From such fish, we can know more about geology, like how land changed and moved, and biology, such as evolution of animal being blind. Cavefish is blind because it adapts with dark and cold environment.

New species has been found in Southern Indiana which gives us information that such fish start to migrate from river few millions years ago. It shows great evolution which it loses one function, that is eyesight, but other functions still are maintained. On the other discovery, a new species from Madagascar indicated a similarity with Australia's cave fish. Such evidence gives a proof that Australia and Madagascar were singular continent in the past. However, cavefishes' existence is in danger situation since their habitats, the caves, are destroyed.

Writing Feedback / TEDx Talks : The Skill of Self Confidence [2]

TEDx Talks : The Skill of Self Confidence
by Dr. Ivan Joseph

Self confidence is one of the most important life skills in human beings. Without such skill, person will lose believe in her/his self before he/she accomplish her/his tasks. Self confidence itself means the ability or the believe to believe in yourself to accomplish any task no matter difficulty and diversity. The easiest way to build such skill is repetition what we want to be mastered. For example, a young soccer player in South Africa always kick ball to wall and catch it 350 kicks each day for several months. Because such repetition, we can play in Europe. Besides that, we should make ourselves far away from people who turn us down. In attempting this way, we may have negative self talk that goes in our head. We can stop this problem by getting around self affirmation. Finally, we also can build confidence to other by ignoring what people do wrong and appreciating what people do.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Many species close to endangered and we should protect only the beneficial animals [2]

There are many animal species close to endangered. Some say that only animals that are beneficial to people should be protected. Do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

Animal is real substantial element for human beings. Over recent years, more funds have been allocated to save the threatened animals, although some people claim that only of those give advantageous to human life. Therefore, I argue that only beneficial animal should be considered to be saved.

To support that agreement, several explanations have been gained. First and foremost, saving all the world's endangered animal will cost a great amount of money. In other side, many people are starving or suffering hazardous disease in many parts of world that need to support by expenditure. According to news from The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), the study in 2012 envisaged that preserving threatened land animals would cost $76 billion or around £49 billion a year, while it would cost more if our targets are entire marine species. Moreover, it is a fact that extinction is a natural process. Before human existed in the earth, several mass extinctions had occurred. The viable example can be seen from the extinction of dinosaurs. It is estimated that around 65 million years ago, the dinosaurs vanished without any intervention from human.

However, some people disagree about that statement. They argue that the most obvious reason is about ecological value. In human-social science, we learn that human is social creature. As like human, individual plant and animal cannot live by itself. Each animal depends on other animal or plant, and vice versa. One animal or plant extinction can disturb other organisms that interact with it. For instance, based on the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the disappearance of one plant or animal can tend to the vanishment of 30 other creatures.

To sum up, it is evident that saving endangered animals cost a great amount of money. Although some people think preserving all threatened animals is a must, it is proofed that only animal which can give beneficial to human life should be saved.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Problem and solution about homecoming in Eid al-Fitri celebration [2]

Eid al-Fitr is the most popular celebration in muslim world, especially in Indonesia. In such a country, there is a culture, namely "mudik" or homecoming, returning to one's hometown. On the other hand, some problems appear simultaneously with this phenomena, such as people enforce themselves to homecoming instead the funds is not sufficient and dramatic increase of crime numbers. To tackle this dilemma, viable measures, like brainwashing people about the essential of such an event and increasing the society protection from crime in few days before Eid, should be attempted.

As homecoming is worthy culture of almost entire muslim in such a nation, Indonesian usually forced themselves to do such a habit, while not all people have enough money to undertake it. Such a condition gives significant encouragement to do crime. The level of crime increases dramatically in the last week of Ramadhan which it near from Eid al-Fitr. According to Pagaralam Pos, a popular local newspaper, there is a dramatic growth of crime in several days before Eid al-Firtri. Increasing transaction in banks and consuming in society causes malevolent people to show off. Besides that, several reports show that there is a terrible extortion that occurs between entrepreneur and hoodlum. In addition, homecoming also becomes an event to show people's wealth. Many people wear plentiful jewelry in their body. With that situation, it will stimulate themselves to show more glamour in the following years.

To solve those problems, some solutions have been gained. First and foremost, educating people about the essential of Eid al-Fitr celebration is one of the excellent long term measures. The main purposes of such a celebration are making better relationship among members of family. We should tell about showing the treasures while celebrate Eid al-Fitr is not good manner. Furthermore, increasing the security among few days before Eid al-fitr is a perfect way to answer the dramatic increase of crime. Such an idea will make people feel safer while doing their regularly activities.

To conclude, homecoming cannot be considered as separate event with Eid al-Fitr. While such event gives some problems, outstanding solutions should be concerned. It is suggested that government and other stakeholders should take this into account.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. [2]

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.
What problems does this cause ?
What do you think are possible solutions?

Answer:

Car is a such breakthrough in moving people. Buying new car, especially in developing countries, increase dramatically. Since this issue makes terrible air pollution problem, it is agreed that proper measure should be attempted, such as impose tremendous tax to the car owner, to tackle this problem.

As far as I am concerned, a great numbers of car makes horrible air pollution. This happens because car needs combustion of gasoline to make it maneuver. Not only is combustion producing energy to move, but also it is creating a horrible pollution that spread out into atmosphere. For instance, research from University of Shanghai in 2014 shows that 90% middle-age people who live in Shanghai, China cannot breath fresh air anymore. Since almost all people go to work by car, the air quality gradually gets worse over time. Therefore, it is agreed that terrible air pollution that caused by abundant of purchasing new car should be considered.

From that problem, the solution that should attempt is imposing great tax for car owner. Such solution will make people avoid purchasing new cars. For example, research from Nanyang Technological University in 2005 shows that there is about 80% decrease in purchasing new cars in Singapore. The research involved citizen who have middle-level income. Such result happens because government impose a great numbers of tax to car owner. So, Imposing big tax to car owner is excellent solution to overcome the problem.

In conclusion, purchasing automobile in developing countries is increasing extremely. As result of horrible, imposing big tax for car owner is a best way to overcome it. Therefore, that solution should be attempted.

Writing Feedback / Having an outstanding career and satisfying family life are the main desires of all human beings [2]

IELTS Task 2 : Maintain a successful career and happy family time at the same time

Enjoying life is our principal intention. In identical period, society desire achieves favorable both career and family life. The primary problem of this phenomena is paid-labor suffer from burn out. It is suggested that the most viable solution is to educate human beings about attempting focus management in their routine life.

The most obvious problem associated with reaching successful both career and family life is bad exhaustion and horrible frustration. That is to say that people have restricted time and endowment to use in their daily life. For instance, according to research from University of Tokyo, in 2010, 80% of citizens who live in Jakarta, Indonesia accomplish their undone-jobs in their leisure period. This results in psychological stress and repulsive cynicism being suffered by employees.

A long term solution to this predicament is to cultivate wage-earner about undertaking focus management. Such a technique requires worker to focus and accomplish one task in one time. With this approach, people can accomplish tasks done productively and efficiently. For example, In 2014, 70% of office-employees in Berlin, Germany can take joy in their family time and done their jobs excellently. Those paid-labors do and focus on one work in a time. What is more, their jobs are accomplished effectively and savor their "fun time" with their family.

In conclusion, having outstanding career and satisfying family life are desires of all human being. Since such ambitions make people to suffer from burn out, appropriate measure, such as educating people to do focus management, should be attempted. It is imperative that stakeholders and individuals should take this into consideration.