Writing Feedback / Compare/Contrast Family Dynamics [3]

Undoubtedly, Brandi is part of a dysfunctional family, and this is very unhealthy for molding a child.---- I added a comma. Separate the 2 parts of a compound sentence with a comma.

I don't claim my family to be without dysfunction at all, because no family is completely content with its relationships in one another and have zero and free of arguments.

This is a great essay! I am glad I was able to find those 2 small ways to help, but really this is a very good compare contrast essay. As you continue to work with this, keep in mind that a compare contrast should cover both similarities and differences. You focus mostly on the differences.

:-)

Undergraduate / "Traces of my diffidence" - letter to roommate [3]

tiny cocoons were hatching exponentially in my stomach.--- haha weird, I like it!

I want you to give the essay a vitamin. What I mean is that I want it to have something added that will make it more meaningful. For example, what does this cultural observation have to do with the subjects that interest you? Or, can you make a connection between this concept and your life interest, your life plan? What is important to you?

See, if something is important to you in life, it will somehow be related to everything you do, including this essay. So make a connection between this cool letter and your life's aspirations... or your philosophy or attitude toward college.

:-)

Undergraduate / "one summer in Costa Rica" - Becoming a member of Peace Corps [3]


I wonder if all this is really important enough to include.... Let's not get off to a slow start.

How about starting with this:
since I started broadening my cultural awareness many moons ago I feel more in tune with both the people who associate themselves with my culture, and those whose culture differs from my own. ---- awesome!!

See? So, shave off that boring stuff at the start, and start with this great sentence.

This is great; you write well. the only thing to do now is see if you can compound the theme by adding a whole new concept... something important to you. Add a fascinating concept that is relevant, another anecdote or perhaps some mention of articles you have read. Add a theme, and condense this material by cutting or shortening sentences. Cut any weak players! :-)

Condense this, and add a theme, and it'll be even better. But it is already good!

Undergraduate / "my perspectives and knowledge in Economics" - my personal statement [2]

I studied hard and eagerly first, but I realized that I had neither talents nor interests in science.---- I know what you mean! I can't do well in science, either.

If I could have a chance to learn a variety of economic theories and applicable tools in Economics major, I think that could build useful macroeconomic models by combining with statistics and commuter systems. --- very impressive! I am convinced. If I was the AO reader, I would want to accept you.

From the upper-level math classes, I wasn't able to achieve good grades, but These challenges definitely helped me to build ... ---- I crossed out a part that is unnecessary. Don't highlight mediocre grades.

Good luck!! This is great.

Undergraduate / Hard Crust; Soft Center; My Loaf of Paradigm, Speaking with my own voice? Creative? [4]

Then we went back to Taiwan and Mother found a job that was almost twice the salary than the one before of her previous job. Her effort had finally paid off.

On whatever paths that one chooses to achieve their dream, sacrifices and obstacles are inevitable. The real secret is how... -------- okay, here is the problem. Here in this paragraph, you are being very philosophical but what you should be doing is looking to the future and talking about your intentions as they are affected by the experience of watching your mother's perseverance. Know what I mean? Let them see how it affects your ideas about one or more of these: responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

Writing Feedback / Buy books or borrowing books?- TOEFL [4]

Because of my desire to save money for ourselves and the resources consumed to manufacture books, I prefer t o borrow books than all.

Therefore, it is more necessary appropriate to save our money than buying all books with regret.--- I thought the word appropriate was more appropriate than the word necessary! :-)

By saying that, I do not mean that buying books is a bad habit or unacceptable. --- This is a very good sentence!

:-)

What I want to stress is that saving is very necessary for our current life and the world later future; therefore, let's save as much as possible with smallest actions, like borrowing books.

Very good!! You do not have too many mistakes, and your meaning is clear. You will do well on the toefl I think! When will you take it?

Undergraduate / The intellectual, social and cultural differences... UMD College Park Undergrad [6]

No! I would be lying if I said I thought this was a good idea. Let's have an essay that expounds your most important insights. Discuss the concepts that interest you, and make a connection between the theme of the essay and your intention for your time ad UMD.

I don't understand what is required of you!

But I do think it is a bad idea to write something that makes it seem like you recently saw this film and wanted to write about it; you should want to write about something that has to do with your plans for making a great contribution to UMD and then to your chosen field.

:-) get focused on your future.

Book Reports / WRITING ABOUT "VOICE" IN LITERATURE? -The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime [2]

Well, I assume your assignment is to write an outline to get ready for writing a paper, so do not post the instructions here in hopes that people will do the work for you!

You should write something to get it started, and we can comment on your work.

We have a thread all about VOICE here A Question about "Voice" - inspired by some helpful feedback from Mayada

Find me the names of several articles or books that discuss a writer's voice or The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime. The first step in a project like this is to find articles and books to read and gather info for your paper. As you read, you will think of the parts that the paper will have, and you can write your outline.

Essays / "How Media Can Influenced Children" - My teacher assigned us an essay for 3 pages. [5]

That's good advice, Marissa!
Hi Leah, I want to add some ideas for you:

Write a few sentences about the kinds of advertisements you have seen.
Read an article about the "influence of the media" and write a few sentences about the article. (Google to find an article)
Try to think of some products that are unhealthy for children, such as junk food and fast food.
Try to think of violent video games or movies, and write a few sentences about the way they might influence children.

Just do one thing at a time! Write one sentence at a time, and do plenty of reading to get ideas about how to structure sentences.

Undergraduate / Personal Statement for an Electrical Engineer ("what makes the most money") [4]

Inefficiency here:
At a young age When I was six, my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. Jokingly, I asked back, "What makes the most money?" Laughing, she answered back, "Engineers." That was when I was 6. ---I took out some extra words.

More inefficiency:
To this day I realize now that at that moment I unknowingly devoted my life to becoming an engineer.

This is an incomplete sentence:
Not for the money, but for the reason my mom led me into engineering.
fix it with a dash:
devoted my life to becoming an engineer -- not for the money, but...

I think the end of the first para is pretty weak -- "not for the money, but ... confusing stuff..."
Try to think of a better way to end that para. What is the main message the essay is supposed to send?

:-)

Undergraduate / Austin, an autistic kid in the class, significant person - NYU Essay [2]

I meet met Austin six months ago, when I just happened to stop by my mom's work.

This is a sentence fragment:
Not knowing that this one little autistic boy could change the way I looked at life.

Connect the first 2 sentences with a dash, like this:
I meet met Austin six months ago, when I just happened to stop by my mom's work -- not knowing that this one little autistic boy could change the way I looked at life.

I think you might be able to look deeply and find another lesson Austin has to teach. Learning to appreciate not being trapped in your mind seems like only half of the understanding. The other half might be something deeper, something about paying attention or something about creativity or human nature.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay about influential people in the world [2]

To begin with,the most important reason is that he gave some rights to women for...

Use a spell checker. I see spelling errors, like this one:
...contribution

You are doing very well! Some of it is unclear, but it is not bad. You write that women would be second class citizens all over the world if he had not empowered them, but that cannot be entirely true, because women's empowerment has been going on all over the world. So, I think some of the ways you express meaning could be clearer.

For example:
There are lots of leaders in the world, the most important of whom is, Ataturk. ---- is he really the most important, or is he "among the most important." I think you mean to use among.

:-)

Undergraduate / How my hardworking mom has influenced me in my life, College Essay. [2]


Why is this weird? It seems like she would be one of the people who would be most likely to have the most influence... her or your father.

I know that many people who find their mothers to be influential would be females, but i tend to have a different approach on this.--- oh, do you mean that you think boys usually aremost influenced by fathers and girls by mothers? That is not necessarily the case. Anyway, I don't think these sentences are important enough to be included in the essay. Let's get focused on the theme! :-)

I have to add to this sentence so that it is a complete sentence:
Although she has been a great parent, throughout my life I couldn't stand her at times due to a few reasons conflicts.

In the sentence below, I will add two apostrophes and a verb (include).
These reasons include times she would be on my brother's side just because he's older than I.

I like the ending. I wish, though, that you could find room to tell about how her influence helped to develop your interest in the subjects you want to study and the career you want to have. That will make you seem like a more serious applicant. Talk a little about the field of expertise into which you have been influenced.

:-)

Undergraduate / "There is a reason why the other man thinks", the best advice [2]


Well, I understand Navaneet's concerns about it "not saying anything", but the essay is good. It really does say something important. Carnegie's advice is profound.

Um... the thing is, the religion argument cannot be resolved through application of the saying by Carnegie. His advice is about persuasion, not existential dilemmas. If you add an element where you used his advice to understand WHY THEY THINK THE WAY THEY DO, then you will have completed your point. But it really will be best to use an example that involved persuading someone of something.

:-)

Undergraduate / My years in Dubai, Stanford Supplement Short Essays - intellectually engaging [7]

Revise this to include plenty of discussion of the psych topic that is most relevant. What is the topic in psych most relevant to this experience? Whatever it is, make it your theme: the topic of intellectual interest.

:-)

Undergraduate / Undergrad essay: "How eight little ducklings changed my life" for common app [4]

I had to make a difference; I had to help. I think it starts to get repetitive right here, and this sentence can be left out.

Putting my fears aside, ---- what fears?

Use a comma:
Bugs covered the walls of the drain, and the only light was a shaft ...

As they waddled off into the sunset, I will never forget the way I felt.--- a little unclear. How about this:
I will never forget the way I felt as they waddled off into the sunset.

I like this a lot! Don't mind those criticisms I gave above... just constructive feedback. So... I just wish this essay reflected something about what you want to study and the work you want to do. It would be good if all of this was to explain the foundation for your career.

:-)

Scholarship / S.A.T essay writing, how to write something meaningful in 25 minutes? [7]

Great ideas, Simbarashe!

I also suggest this:
Look at the prompt, and then write several sentences that come to mind. Explore your ideas, and write sentences that pertain to the prompt.

Each sentence might be helpful to support your MAIN THEME for the essay. When you know that theme, tell it at the end of the intro paragraph.

Take some of your sentences you wrote and let them be TOPIC SENTENCES for paragraphs. Google this: how to write good topic sentences.
The way to turn a sentence into a paragraph is to let it be the first sentence of the paragraph and then add sentences after it: examples, elaboration, explanation, quotes, facts, etc.

I think you should be able to write a great essay in even just 15 minutes!!!! :-)

Essays / Financial planning -- My academic and career goals (essay plan) [8]

Perfect!! I think you got some great help here in this thread, and now you are of to a good start...

capitalize Korea, though.

Also:
My father's answer for my question has driven me to the world of helping another others, and I decided that when the time comes to decide about my career, I will choose something that I can use to help people with their struggle. This is why I chose financial planning for my dream career.

See the small changes I made? Please practice this 10 times to learn the correct grammar. Type it 10 times!

I look forward to seeing more of your essay. Tell about some articles you have read.

REMEMBER: you can take classes that make it possible for you to have multiple careers: entrepreneurship, accounting, management, marketing, writing... study them all and keep your options open!

:-)

Poetry / What poetry means to people,what can we learn from it - need help [2]

The way to get better at writing is to read. The way to get ideas about poetry is to read about it. Try googling around: history of poetry --- this should help you!

But actually, what do you think poetry is? I think it is different from ordinary writing, but how is it different? It is often rhythmic, and it is often very much like a riddle.

So why is it important? Ordinary writing tries to clearly inform us of things, but poetry makes us do some work, some interpretations! So what happens when poetry is used and both reader and writer are working hard to understand?

Some subjects can be written about in a straightforward way, but some abstract and philosophical subjects can only be expressed through poetry!! I hope this gives you ideas.

What is your favorite poem? Google around!!!! :-)

Graduate / Journalism Statement of Purpose for UT Austin [3]


Woo hoo!! (Kevin stands up and cheers.) That is seriously funny.

Also, I am especially appealed compelled to reporting economic news on an international scale. ---- it has appeal, so you are compelled to pursue it. See the difference? It can appeal to you, and you can appeal to others, but you are not appealed to do something.

lso, Professor Tracy Dahlby's "Reporting China" workshop can offer me insights about my own country from a Western perspective, and prepare me well to report in this rapidly developing Asian giant.--- very good detail... they will be impressed.

Hardships occur on my ideally-planned career path, but my determination, diligence and passion will help me to overcome whatever obstacles that hamper my way.

Excellent ending... this is one of my favorites.

Writing Feedback / Are organisations most successful when members pursue individual wishes and goals? [4]


Right after this sentence, I need to see one more sentence before the paragraph ends... so that I can really understand what your theme is.

Successful cooperation needs requires people to...

refused them because the position would imprison them in the academy building where they would have to teach all day.

I like your examples!! Your English is not as bad as you say it is.
Well... one other good point to discuss is "transactional leadership." That means transactions need to take place so that leaders in an organization can help individuals achieve their goals and in return the individuals work toward organizational goals. Keep practicing! You write well!

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing: Commercialization of sports (wrong motivation?) [3]


Cool, and how about adding one more sentence to the end of that first paragraph to tell briefly the conclusion you come to. Know what I mean? Do not just say you wll examine it, but also say that you determined XXXXX XXX XXXXXX XX X XXXXX... (just briefly tell the main point of the essay. You can do this after rereading the essay and looking at what the main idea seems to be.

You have some very sophisticated sentences!! Like this one: What is rational for youngsters who have a desire to indulge in sports professionally to do, in my opinion, is to make a balance between ambition, pride, and financial capacity.--- I like it... you are an English language learner? I think you have learned the language and mastered it. Nice to see you here again!

:-)

Graduate / Science and Mathematics: Statement of Purpose- MS in Computer Networks [3]

No need to capitalize scientist.

my interest in Science and Mathematics was inherent. --- I thinkinnate is a better word here. Inherent means something comes with something else, but innate... innate is a word that is similar but people use it about people.

... myself in the future- an Engineer.--- what kind?

My innate strength ---- oh! there is my word! :-)

All of this is quite impressive... However, that first para seems a little short, and it leaves room for you to add a brilliant thesis statement that tells, in a single sentence, the theme for the essay... the theme you want the reader to remember.

:-)

Undergraduate / Life independence after a transfer to an University - transferring objectives [3]

For the past nineteen years of my life, my dream has been to discover this life independently.

I would like it if it was this way, simpler:
My dream has been to discover this life independently. Transferring to a University can give me the capability to live life on my own and learn from my own mistakes. Although I am In ( no ned to capitalize this In) a Community College now, I have yet to experience ...

...which increased my insecurity of achieving any kind of degree. ---- this does not make sense. You can say "insecurity about" instead.

I suggest rewriting this after reviewing some articles and books about health promotion, disease prevention, and so forth... and you should look at various specializationsthat are available to you. If you are serious about doing this, you'll use the Internet to become very knowledgeable about all your options, all your possibilities, and the various kinds of medicine you can practice.

This essay is too much about wanting to live away from home and not enough about showing how much you have researched about medicine and health, and about the career options available to you. Do that research! :-)

Undergraduate / Dear Father; We were happy but most importantly, we were together! [7]

We were happy, and most importantly, we were together. What had changed? I still continue to ask myself that because unfortunately, I have ...

I discovered infidelity in my household. What hurts more is that it was my father. whom I admit was the parent I was closer to than my mother. I think it is better without this part.

...collapse and I would not be able to get back up.--- This paragraph is very eloquently written.

...want to be ready to accept him for when that time comes.

Nice! This is a good one... I think it would work for most of those prompts, but if you use it for the first one you will need to revise to include discussion of your educational goals, etc... how this has effected you (specifically, not just the way it strengthened your resolve, but the way it changed your goals and ideas...)

I like your forgiving attitude and your wisdom!

Writing Feedback / Appearance, work spirit, skills - important characteristics of a co-worker [3]

When someone decides to work in a company, there are several characteristics that have to be concerned about considered, such as...

Appearance is one of the most important characteristics that a person has to be concerned about.

A friend of mine was so nervous on his first interview that forgot that he was chewing bubble gum. ---- That's funny...

Moreover, any women should not use opened shirt, short skirts, sandals or any provocative clothe because desktop is not a place to expose yourself.--- This kind of consideration is important for men, too, not just women.

Several research studies indicate that it is more difficult to make some decisions when you are working by on your own then than when you are working with a group.

... illustrates a corporate life.

:-)

Undergraduate / Football, leadership, spirituality - help with grammar. [2]

Hello,

In the future please start a new thread for each essay. That is how we stay organized. :-)

as many as possible:
My short term goal is to achieve as many scholarships as ...

Capitalize Bible.
The program was 3 weeks long and consisted of praise, Bible study, and reading/science comprehension, for Kindergarten - 5th grade.

This sport is more than just athletic ski lls and hitting other players for fun; it teaches one how to be under self control.

I am the only player on my team who has shown academic excellence, but I am also the only student that participates in the Varsity Football among my "intellectual friends".

...each serves to symbolize my...

:-) I think these definitely reflect your hard work and seriousness. If you have any trouble getting the first scholarship you try for, or getting accepted into the first school to which you apply, don't worry! People are able to recognize your dedication, and if you don't give up I would bet a thousand dollars you can achieve your goals and be a great PT.

Undergraduate / The City, The Lessons, The Campus: Why I chose to Apply to UCF [6]

I can still remember back to the first time I stepped foot on ...-----I think it is usually written this way: set foot on

I like this first half; it is very sincere and naturally... very nicely written.

However, these sentences could be better:
The lessons I learn at college are ones I will take with ... grow as a human being.
Those last sentences are very generic, very normal and uninteresting. I think you can see what I mean...
Instead of writing those sentences, it would be nice to tell about the future; you told about the past, and now it is time to spend 100 words telling about your intentions for the future.

:-)

Undergraduate / (My summer in Spain), Vires Artes Mores - FSU [5]

Great first sentence...

Never had I realized, however, how fully immersed I would actually end up.

... I tripped over and butchered out a few sentences in Spanish ... well done!! You are a writer, for sure...

And the last sentence is as masterfully written as the first.
I really enjoyed this one, and if the AO reader has any sense s/he will appreciate it, too! :-)

I guess it could work for either of the 2 prompts mentioned here.

Scholarship / "A stranger that changed my life" - first draft for my scholarship essay [6]

You have a run on sentence at the start:
A fine brilliant summer afternoon, not hotter than the usual. With Maria trying to...
You can fix it this way:
On a fine, brilliant summer afternoon, not hotter than the usual, Maria was trying to...

Paranoid because of the odd smile, Maria yanked my arm, signaling me to walk faster. I stopped.

At first, he would only nod and answer "Yes" or "No", still feel uncertain by my initiative. ---- I am not sure what you mean by this... can you write it differently?

I never saw Roy again after that day, not until and three years later I found out he passed away from terminal illness.---- I added "three" but I don't know how many years later it was.

This was great to read, very interesting!! I think you could be a novelist.

Undergraduate / My Seven-Old-Year Nephew- A two-paragraph essay describing a person you now. [4]


He is too competitive. I think that is the phrase you are looking for.

skillful at ----- this is good!

Though he is only seven years old, he uses a word processor program to print short stories that he enjoys.

his teeth are full of cavities.
or
his teeth are in decay.

(You can also use "decay" about other things. The old, abandoned house was in decay because no one was there to repair it.) Decay is also okay to use with teeth, though. But if he is only 7 years old it is the parents' job to make sure he brushes!

:-)

I admire your hard work!

Undergraduate / "The irony of suffering " - my UCF Entrance Essay (obstacle, bump) [5]

hyphen
ill-advised

I really love the energy of this piece of writing as I read the first paragraph...

It was when my father and brother died that I ...oh... now I see where the energy is coming from. Pain causes a lot of good writing.

...comprehended the perception of a difficult encounter becoming ...

Less fortunate is a cliche... maybe you can say that in a clever way instead.

Intending on going to---I think you should write, "Intending to go" instead.

...so deliberately crave. --- This is a unique expression... hmmm... I don't know how I feel about it. It seems like I ... I guess I think that something someone craves is... argh! I guess I don't like it. Sorry. Ha ha... if you like it, keep it.

Add more detail about your action plan for these coming years. That is the most important part, I think. I hope you have lots of success!!

Graduate / It is the choices that we make that determine an our true character - SOP for PhD in Psychology [2]

I wish to study in the field of I/O psychology. A fe w aspects that really interest me is are the study of ...

I have referred (what do you mean? Read? Recommended?)several books and articles of well known psychologists

I see a typo: i
In AIESEC, i executed ...

The team was responsible to develop for developing the questionnaires, collecting data and evaluating data.

...three internships in two different sectors: government and private firms .

extra words here:
I believe it will also serve to give direction to my goal of a career in a research oriented organization. I want to pursue further...

Graduate / 'teamwork rehabilitation' - PTCAS essay (Physical Therapy school application) [2]

that he was experiencing deferred (referred?) pain in his knees ...

I enjoy working with people and I am naturally an observant and analytical person, so my intuitive skills complement the work of a physical therapist.-----I added a comma to this, but it actually seems like a sentence that could be written in a better way. When you make a bunch of claims like this it is not very meaningful... you can use an example to show this instead.

...many aspects of the profession that motivate me to become a physical therapist.

I guess my criticism of this essay is that it is not focused enough on a theme or concept... like, this is obvious:
Through an education in physical therapy I will develop the technical skills and knowledge to help people live healthy active lives. -- when you say things that are obvious, it is a waste of a sentence. In this essay, the beginning is kind of basic, too. When you revise, try to make sure every sentence tells the reader something new and meaningful. Here is a part that I think is meaningful and awesome:

A teamwork approach has been employed in most of the rehabilitation settings where I have volunteered. Most recently in an acute inpatient setting I was invited to observe a team meeting...

:-)

Graduate / Fascination with Mathematics and Science (especially physics, spacecraft) -My SOP. [3]

I see places where you typed lower case i instead of I:
I also believe i have an artists hand because i can draw complicated drawings(technical and non-technical)with ease.

Use a comma for any compound sentence: I am an active volunteer, and I have volunteered for numerous blood donation camps in helping the organizers and have personally

donated blood twice.

Probably this should be capitalized:
enrolled into _______ University for Masters in Aerospace Engineering as...

This essay is really impressive. The focus and detail are better than what I usually see. This shows confidence and enthusiasm, and the only way I can think of to make it better is to prove that you are reading journal articles about this by citing and discussing some aerospace research articles.

Book Reports / Beowolf Essay Symbolization (a great king in Anglo-Saxon society?) [2]

...let anything get in the way of being maintaining a powerful kingdom. ---I changed it to maintaining, because you cannot BE a kingdom.

No one likes being taken over, and when this happens you fight back for revenge.

"Though the monster was slain, an avenger survived" (Beowulf 812). ---If you are writing about only this single story, then you do not have to write Beowulf in every in-text citation. If the essay is all about this single story, then you can just use the page number.

Life wasn't an easy one for the Anglo-Saxon kings, and the obstacles that the kings had to go through overcome are represented in the poem, Beowulf -- a great symbolization of these challenges.

:-)

Undergraduate / "mom's death swiped a fatal blow"- significant experience, achievement, moral dilemma [2]


Hey now, wait a minute... let's look at the phrase... it swiped a fatal blow... does that mean you are giving up? A fatal blow is one that kills, but I don't think you are dead yet!

And I don't think you are giving up either. It is an inspired phrase... strikes a fatal blow... but maybe you can discuss what part of you died with her and what part of you is going to live on and accomplish some things.

Let's trim this sentence:
I withdrew from the company of members of my family.

At the end of the essay, some words about your mother might be appropriate for fully expressing this as a tribute to her. Don't worry, she lives on in you! I am pretty sure that is how things work. So many perspectives, but just one family of being.

Undergraduate / "robbed of my innocence and childhood" - UCF application essay: "Bump in the road" [5]


That is so true!

Hey, this essay can be appropriate or inappropriate, depending on how you use it. The trick is to make a connection between this experience and something about your career intentions. Can you make a connection? I think you should take a key insight from this, something interesting that it makes you think of... and make it the theme for the essay.

IS something actually lost? Or did you gain something? Or does it depend on how you manage your strength and pain? Let's see if you can connect this to your career intentions.

Essays / Going to college as an adult - Narrative (A significant event that changed your life) [5]

Hi there,

Isn't it weird to be 32 and feel like you are older than college age? That whole 20-something experience slips past us quickly. Anyway, college is about intellect and skill, not about being a kid. You are in a better position than the kids; you might not think so, but it's true!

Anyway, get focused on your purpose. Going to college is not your purpose. Your purpose is the field you are entering. I assume you have a major in mind!

:-)

So... as you write the narrative (a story), write it in a way that conveys your vision for the future.

Undergraduate / Mass Art and Photography: Statement of Purpose help? [3]


I don't think this sentence is helpful! It seems to express something that maybe you do not want to express... like a simplistic attitude toward it.

I challenge you to compound your vision for the future by combining photography with another discipline.. entrepreneurship, journalism, Internet marketing... what is your method?
I do not mean to say photography is insufficient alone; it's just that all art forms require us to have a sort of vehicle to make us able to make a living... for example, photography and internet marketing go well together.