Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Changes in Town_Maps [5]

The maps below show the changes experienced by the town of Lakeside at the beginning of the 21st century.
The maps demonstrate alterations made to the town of Lakeside in the first few years of the 21st century (2000 and 2009). Generally big differences occurred to the north of the river, while the south of it just slightly changed.

First of all, in the north of the river, a car park was built in 2009 in place of the derelict warehouses of 2000. Below these warehouses was the old town, which was transformed into blocks of offices, and a part of the land was used to build a new university near the school which stayed the same after nine years. To the left of the school where an Arts centre used to be, a multi-screen cinema was constructed in 2009. Just by the river, in 2000, there existed a residential area, but nine years later, it was replaced with a big shopping centre. However, the other residential area in the north remained unchanged throughout the period.

In the south of the river, there used to be a small industrial complex and a residential area, but the neighbourhood was removed in order to give room for the expansion of the industrial zone in 2009. It is also noted that the lake to the north of the town, which was connected to the river, was changed into a pond.

All in all, it can be seen that major alterations were made so as to make the lives of the citizens more convenient with the introduction of business buildings and a university and the development of the industrial complex.

What could be used to replace "residential area"?
Please give me some feedback. Any comments are appreciated!

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Impacts of Technology and its crucial part of our lives [7]

Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.
Nowadays the whole world is moving from the paper age to the technological age with the introduction of a wide array of modern devices. This has led to a dispute over whether techonology is controlling our lives or it has brought about positive advancements to human beings. This essay will express my views on both these opinions.

First of all, it cannot be denied that to some extent, techonology is taking stock of our daily lives. For example, in many big shops, surveillance cameras are installed in order to prevent thieves. However, some people feel that this intrudes into their privacy and that they are uncomfortable when shopping with a camera recording their every move. Furthermore, many stores offer membership cards with which customers receive discounts on special occassions, but to own these cards, shoppers must provide basic personal information to store owners. As a result, their lives might be disturbed or even controlled if bad people could somehow hack this information.

Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that despite some negative impacts of technology, it has in fact created many positive changes to people's lives, a few of which are improvements in security and communication. Some people might think that the use of cameras causes discomfort to them, yet I would argue that this can prevent robberies or in case crimes occurred, it could help with the identification of the culprits. Besides, thanks to the invention of the Internet and mobile phones, communication has been made easier than ever. It is now possible for relatives and friends who are away from one another to contact regularly without having to wait for months for letters to be delivered.

In conclusion, it is indisputable that techonology has become a crucial part of our lives, and it has both negative and positive effects on us. Nevertheless, I believe that the benefits of technology outweight its drawbacks, and if we can make use of technology in the right way, there is no reason why it cannot improve humans' living standards.

Please give me some feedback. Any comments are appreciated!

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Fish and Meat Consumption [3]

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
The graph demonstrates the amount of fish and three kinds of meat consumed in a European country from 1979 to 2004. There are two general trends: upward and downward.

Regarding the former one, the consumption of chicken soared from below 150 grams per person per week in 1979 to approximately 250 grams in 2004, making it the largest consumed type of food.

With respect to the latter trend, the amounts of beef, lamb and fish eaten all declined. Beef consumption fell sharply by about 100 grams throughout the recorded time after having reached its high in 1983 at nearly 235 grams. Similarly, the consumption of lamb reduced from 150 grams per person per week to just over 50 grams. Besides, the amount of fish eaten, though did experience a downward trend, had only a slight decrease of about 10 grams.

Overall, after the 25-year period, chicken was consumed the most out of the four types of food, while fish was the least popular.

Please give me some feedback. Any comments are appreciated!

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Reasons for Study and Support Received [8]

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
The two charts provide information about how reasons for study and the amount of support received varied among five age groups.

In the first chart, it is clear that the percentage of people who studied for interest increased with age. Only 10% of students less than 26 years of age wanted to derive pleasure from their study. The percentage rose gradually as people got older, and it reached 70% for learners aged 49 and over. In contrast, most young students in the age group of under 26 studied for their career (80%). The older people became, the less they were interested in learning for this reason, as only 20% of the people aged 49 and over studied for career purpose.

With regard to the second chart, employees who were under 26 received the largest amount of support from their employers (62%). The support given to workers decreased steadily when people went through their late 20s and 30s, and then rose slightly among 40-year-old learners and older.

Did I repeat myself too much?
Please give me some feedback. Any comments are appreciated!