vangiespen
Jan 21, 2015
Undergraduate / "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness" - An issue important to you [3]
I feel that your essay lacks the essence of how travel can be a binding force for the people of the world. You have explained in great detail about the kinds of problems that lack of cultural sharing and understanding brings to various nations. Your examples are very specific and you have truly made your point about the problems we now face in a fast changing world. However, you did not offer any true insight as to how travel can help resolve this issue. Don't forget that traveling does not come cheap for most people and that the countries are divided by visa and travel restrictions whether we like it or not. Therefore, resolving any issue simply through travel may not be a feasible idea. I suggest that you try to narrow down your topic or choose a new one that is easier to discuss and present possible solutions to. The one you have right now is not only too broad, but also difficult to present even a simple resolution to.
I feel that your essay lacks the essence of how travel can be a binding force for the people of the world. You have explained in great detail about the kinds of problems that lack of cultural sharing and understanding brings to various nations. Your examples are very specific and you have truly made your point about the problems we now face in a fast changing world. However, you did not offer any true insight as to how travel can help resolve this issue. Don't forget that traveling does not come cheap for most people and that the countries are divided by visa and travel restrictions whether we like it or not. Therefore, resolving any issue simply through travel may not be a feasible idea. I suggest that you try to narrow down your topic or choose a new one that is easier to discuss and present possible solutions to. The one you have right now is not only too broad, but also difficult to present even a simple resolution to.