Undergraduate / Essay Option 1.How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.) [7]

This is UChic extended essay!!!

Essay Option 1.How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.)

Any feedbacks on this essay?

It was 2pm in Korea. School was over. There was rush-hour traffic in our school, with 450 students trying to escape the vibe of strictness caused by the teachers as quickly as possible. Unpleasant aroma tickled our sensory organs every possible moment in the toilets. There were fans, but no air conditioners to keep the atmosphere fresh. In winter, there were no heaters to make the students feel cozy and warm. Worse off yet, before and after school, a group of year 5 or 6 'naughties' (as us year 2 students called them), acting like street fighters, would always try and engage petty conversation with us year 1 or 2 innocent schoolboys and girls. Their point? Money. There was no escape for those poor schoolmates who were randomly targeted. Their pockets were emptied, and tears upon their faces were evidences of this cruelty. This is the environment in which I grew up.

I was able to avoid many of these ruthless senior-junior relationships because, over a long period of time, I developed a clever reputation of being the poorest boy of all times by not carrying any cash in my pockets. I did it purposefully so as to make my way home as less painfully as possible. It was a success.

One day, however, I received a birthday bonus from my grandparents: 5000won (Equivalent to $5 USD) in cash. Gladly, I took it and put it in my left side pocket of my one and only pair of jeans. Normally I would insert it in my piggy bank that I used so efficiently -- it summed up to 23,000won by the end of the year - but, in an attempt to recover from tiredness after the family party, I instantaneously fell asleep. Having forgotten I put 5000won in the pocket, I wore the same flashy, baggy jeans the next day.

I was really hungry that afternoon. My stomach grumbled at me. I had to please my irritated organ, and so I went into the rice cake shop and bought 4000won worth of rice bundle compacted into little cubes covered in brown bean powder. I opened the pack and transferred my nutrition onto my hands so as to allow fast consumption. One of the 'naughties' was there, with a rotten smile and threatening eyes. He came closer and closer to me, so close that I could feel his desire for a petty conversation. To settle the inconveniences caused in my stomach, I put one of the rice cakes in my mouth, and enjoyed the melting feeling in my tongue whilst the bean powders tinged the gustatory sensors. My stomach was producing acids already, ready to digest the chewy substance as soon as it gulped down my throat. It was a temporary heaven. I say temporary because when I opened my eyes, his deceptive eyes were inches away from my frightened ones. I turned around and ran like Arnold in The Terminator. I ran across the school field - the whole 100m in less than 15 seconds. For a 9-year old, that was impressive. I ran for a purpose. I had to keep whatever was on my hand to myself, just because I was hungry. The desire to eat outweighed the desire to escape from the year 5 'naughty'. I ran so fast that I couldn't feel my heart beating. In fact, my heart wasn't beating. I thought I had a heart attack, so I stopped for a second.

I had to consume one piece from my hand; my stomach ordered me to do so. Yet again, I enjoyed the smell, the taste, the touch and even the sight of it. I enjoyed every moment as I slid the squishy cake to the tip of my tongue. It was heavenly; it was food that I could never obtain because they were so expensive and my parents didn't realize how much I loved this type of rice cake (because it was my first time trying it). One of the seniors' hands brushed my back; I thought I was dead for a second, because losing the rice cakes on my hand would cause a tremendous inconvenience to the sensitive 9-year old stomach. My heart started beating again, this time at 220 beats per minute. I ran, not for the safety of my body, but for the sake of saving two pieces of square, compacted rice. This time it was with sticky, chewy, powdery thing in my mouth. Inhalation was thus impossible, because the bean powders would get into my trachea. I was so hungry that I couldn't throw away the last piece left on my hand. I looked behind for a brief moment and he was literally half a meter away from me, and I hadn't breathed for a while, enjoying even the slightest moment of gustatory pleasure.

The idea of having something in your mouth and running like Jerry (in Tom & Jerry) sounds like a scene from Mission Impossible. To a 9-year old, it was mission impossible. My legs were aching; 200m that I ran felt like 2km as a child. I didn't talk to my parents about this event, nor have I thought of it too deeply. To me, it was just an instinct. The desire to eat simply overruled the desire to escape from the 'naughty'. Now that I think about it, the determination to achieve the desire made the impossible mission possible.

What happened to me? I did get caught that day, by that 'naughty' I was talking about. I handed him the 1000won left in my pocket, but finished off the rice cakes before he chased me down. They were extremely delicious.

Thanks

Student Talk / What is more important? Common application essays or supplement essays? [9]

I have a mediocre common app essay and excellent supplement essays for all my universities. I didnt realise that everyone else wrote like 600+ words for the common essay (i wrote 446 words btw), when the minimum said 250 words. So i thought it had to be around 250-500, but i guess i was wrong.

Which is more important? common or supplement?

Undergraduate / Luck in Chemistry - University of Chicago optional supplement [4]

Prompt: Would you please tell us about a few of your favorite books, poems, authors, films, plays, pieces of music, musicians, performers, paintings, artists, magazines, or newspapers? Feel free to touch on one, some, or all of the categories listed, or add a category of your own (quote).

I never believed in luck, it didn't exist in my dictionary. If I faced disappointment, it was never because I was unlucky, and if I achieved top results in something, it was always my skills that did the job. Maybe I didn't believe in luck because every time I completed something successfully, my parents would always say, "you're a lucky man", or "luck saved you, my little boy." Before I entered the world of IB in grade 11, I came across a quote, which became my motto not long after, from the movie The Little Black Book: "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." Fascinated, I did some internet surfing based on the quote and discovered that the quote was originally from the philosopher Seneca.

I still wasn't convinced that luck existed, and so I put this doubtful concept to test. Chemistry was a tough subject for me in grade 11; there were so many aspects to learn and so little came up in the periodical tests. Trusting luck, I prepared only a handful amount of coursework and set the test next day. Result was horrible: 60% and a C in my report. I was 'unlucky' (according to the quote), because my meager preparation didn't meet the opportunity to express the chemical knowledge. That moment was when I changed; something talked from nowhere and told my brain to do everything. For the mid-year exam, I prepared everything. It seemed like I memorized the textbook inside out, and I literally have. The exam wasn't too hard after all: 85% and an A in my report. I was 'lucky': an opportunity was given to demonstrate my preparation. The valuable lesson I learnt from this is that, if you're prepared for anything, you're 90% on your way to getting lucky. Remember, according to my favorite quote, luck is when preparation meets opportunity. University of Chicago will give me the opportunity to enrich my academic knowledge and pursue my social interests, and I will give the university my preparation built for the past 17 years in return.

Essay length is 2 paragraphs :).
Any feedback would be nice, positive or negative.

Undergraduate / 'enthusiasm for economics' - JHU supplement - why did you choose the major(s)? [3]

Hi guys again, and thanks for helping me with UChic essays :).

This essay did not have any word limit so i wrote about 750 words... Any feedback, positive or negative, will be appreciated!

Prompt: Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this supplement, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

Having lived in New Zealand for 8 years, I was excited to travel to the United States half a world away. This was the world which previously existed only in the news or in TV shows such as 'The Amazing Race' -- my favorite TV program -- and it was soon to be transformed into a reality! Even better, I was about to undertake a 10-day leadership course in the capital city of global economics: New York City.

My enthusiasm for economics has gradually grown since I was fourteen. My dad, who started his own import/export business not long after I was born, played a significant role in shaping my interests. Our house was often untidy, filled with papers titled "balance sheets" and "strategic plans", symbolizing my father's disorganization skills. He once told me to find one sheet of paper, with "Trading Balance" printed bold on top middle section, lying somewhere in the 300m2 area (the entire house). After 20 minutes of thorough search and rescue action, the familiar words "Trading Balance" was visible. It was familiar because I learnt it from grade 9 economics. Showing interest, I repeated the phrase "I learnt this from school!" three times, and he gave me the golden opportunity to make some trading decisions with his help. This was only the beginning. Completely unaware of exchange rates, I wondered how US dollars that my dad earned turned into my usable pocket money (in NZD).

Once the world of exchange rates bound me to it, there was no escape. Every time a question like "how does exchange rate affect inflation?" was answered through a myriad of Google searches, there were more questions yet to be answered, like "How does exchange rate affect the number of migrants?" It was like the multiplier effect: number of unanswered questions doubled the number of answered questions. Fascinated, I did not quit, but, day by day, I was more and more intrigued by the small 'pieces' of economics, such as interest rates and recession, that amalgamate to the greater economic reality.

I was then introduced to the People to People leadership summit program (P2P) in December 2008, the course that enabled me to pursue my interests. Visit to the Wall Street constructed an irrational feeling that I belong here in the future. Details in the Museum of American Financial History caught my attention to an extent that I nearly missed the bus back to our accommodation. The 'business project' that we had to complete required us to put the economic theories into practice. I believe that nothing compares to experience, and this 10-day leadership course at New York City has certainly confirmed me to choose economics as one of the subjects that I want to pursue in my tertiary studies.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------
I enjoyed drawing maps. Strange as it sounds, drawing maps was one of my favorite hobbies in elementary school. During intervals and lunchtimes, when my schoolmates rushed out to the Sport's Cafï to get one of three soccer balls in school, I drew maps. Memory gauge increased extra 100% when it came down to inserting names of the streets around the school into my brain. This hobby carried on until the end of 8th grade, when I was about to enter high school. Going to high school also meant choosing subjects. One of the subjects that I chose, thinking that it would involve drawing maps, was geography.

My interest in geography was purely developed through my academic experience, thanks to my hobby of drawing maps when I was younger. As a Korean migrant in New Zealand, I enjoyed studying population and migration the most. Unfortunately, drawing maps was only a small part of IB* geography. The subject mostly involved memorizing real-life case studies -- not street names -- such as the landslide in Bangladesh, Kobe Earthquake in 1995, or pro-natalistic** policy in Singapore since 1989. Without a doubt, geography was the subject that I enjoyed the most while studying; natural or human, these real-life events fascinated me and made me want to research more about them. High marks I obtained in geography also acted as a motivator to study further. Needless to say, I wish to continue to enrich this interest and pursue it in my tertiary studies at Johns Hopkins.

In short, I chose economics and geography as two majors that I want to pursue at Johns Hopkins. My strong interests in both of these subjects are still active today and I hope to enrich them in the future. These interests in economics and geography, the pursuit of these interests and my determination to learn more about these two subjects confirm that I have selected the right majors to be studied at Johns Hopkins University.

*IB: International Baccalaureate - an education programme like AP.
**pro-natalistic: A government policy supporting increase in population.

Thank you all, late merry christmas and happy new year :)

Undergraduate / "education is useless because it dulls our personalities." required supplement [15]

Prompt: Which of the academic communities and social communities that now comprise the University of Pennsylvania are most interesting to you and how will you contribute to them and to the larger Penn community?

Since the beginning of high school, I have unnoticeably built a love for music, and the gap between us only got closer and closer progressively. I look to pursue this affinity to music in the University of Pennsylvania as an undergraduate. There are many musical communities that I can participate at UPenn, and I can contribute to them in many different ways. Penn Symphony Orchestra is something I could partake with my 12-year experience on the piano. I jolted when I heard that Penn's Orchestra previously performed my favorite classical music: Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. A Penn Rock Band is something I could create with my passion for the guitar, the drums and my culturally unique style of composition. Penn Symphony Orchestra is something I could partake with my 12-year experience on the piano. I have also heard about the PennJazz. Learning jazz -- one type of music that I did not pursue during high school -- at UPenn is also an opportunity that I would like to pursue.

With the help of my experiences, my passion for musical instruments, and my creativity, I can contribute to the larger Penn community. I have composed a diverse range of songs throughout my high school life, most of them performed by me and my closest friends in small events. I am willing to help middle or high school students with compositions, or maybe even teach them directly how to play a few musical instruments. These are two of many ways in which I can contribute to the communities of Pennsylvania.

In addition to the social communities at University of Pennsylvania, I would also like to participate in Penn international business volunteers (PIBV). Through UNESCO and International Club at high school, I have developed a strong interest in international predicaments, and I have developed a thorough knowledge about business with the help of higher level IB course: Business and Management. It is for this specific reason that I find PIBV as the most interesting academic community that I want to participate in. PIBV aims to benefit those in need outside of University of Pennsylvania by utilizing business skills. I am willing to contribute to PIBV by putting the business theories that I have learnt from school into practice. I can also contribute by participating in projects like enhancing infrastructures in developing countries with my experiences of helping those in need throughout high school.

One key component in PIBV is raising awareness about the importance of international economic development. Should I join PIBV, I wish to help raise this awareness to the larger Penn community by, for example, screening documentaries about international NGO's, or organizing a state conference about business responsibility. I can also contribute to the wider community by showing them how they can combat poverty as working professionals or globally-engaged citizens. Teaching and raising awareness, as we all know it, is ultimately the best contribution to give to anyone, including the wider Penn community.

Out of many opportunities available at the University of Pennsylvania, the musical community and the International Business Volunteers interest me the most. Through my special talents in music and the dedication and knowledge for business and international issues, I am willing to contribute to the two communities I have mentioned, to the larger Penn community, and even to developing countries and those who are in need.

Any feedbacks would be nice, positive or negative!
Oh and please check my JHU supplement too!
Thanks

Undergraduate / University of Pennsylvania optional supplement (the good old autobiography) [3]

Prompt: You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit page 217.

NOTE TO EVERYONE: the page 217 can be based on your life SO FAR as well (the way I took it and asked the university!)

...beginning of something completely different. It was unexpected, like a bombshell dropped out of nowhere. All the school tests were considerably harder than those in grade 10. I at first regretted taking this IB course, and wanted to switch back to NCEA , the 'easier option' as my school friends considered. However, once I was caught in this mysterious labyrinth of IB that was wearing me away, physically and mentally, there was only one way out. Quitting was a no go. One piece to the puzzle that unlocks the door, I thought, was determination.

And so you, the readers, would have guessed that I was intelligent, determined boy when I started the 2-year IB course. You are perfectly right. I was determined. I was determined to pull through and get a great overall mark in IB. Unfortunately, grades did not follow determination; unfortunately, I put in more than what I got back. As Benjamin Franklin -- the founder of the university that I wanted to attend since the start of grade 10 -- said, "If you get more than you put in, you have the philosopher's stone." I engraved this quote deep in my heart that it almost became my motto, but I broke this golden rule that I always lived by. I was incessantly making an effort to strike those top marks in literature, German, and chemistry, but honestly, all I got back was a collaboration of C's in my report. I do not lie about this, and I am not embarrassed to share with you the failures I have experienced throughout the beginning of the IB course. I am not ashamed of it solely for this reason: without failure, no success. Another piece to the puzzle that unlocks the door, I thought, was learning from my mistakes.

When I got 12 out of 25 in my literature essay in April 2008, I didn't put my head down and let all the neuron transmitters which cause depression chew me away. I asked Mr. David Shaw, my world literature teacher, why I was getting such results. He told me what I was doing wrong, and provided me with a detailed step-by-step method that could improve my literature marks which I carefully noted in my diary, in a condensed form of 3 words: read, practice, and write. I implemented this method all throughout April and as much as the three words looked simple and easy, it was difficult. Many nights I thought to myself that I cannot do this, I cannot survive IB. The problem was that it took this much of an effort for one out of three subjects I was getting C's at. German: learn, think, use. Chemistry: memorize, use logic, solve. I give you my word on this; the final and most crucial piece of the puzzle, in the midst of all adversities, is 'believe'.

You may ask, how can 'belief' and 'determination' be any different? You can believe all you want, but you may not be determined to achieve your beliefs. You can be determined to achieve something, but you may not believe that you can. The truth is that belief sets your mind up to accomplish your goals; determination sets you up physically to obtain them. You do need both: without one or the other, you can never achieve what you want to achieve.

Once I started to believe that I could unlock the door out of this adversity, nothing was impossible. Reading, practicing and writing, once difficult, turned out to be not much of a problem. That April month I had another literature test, and for that test I was more nervous than I had ever gotten before. I wanted to get more than what I put in. I wanted to live by my motto again, because one way of succeeding is to have output greater than input. I spent the longest two hours of my life (until then) in my literature class. My level of nervousness, like everyone else's, increases rapidly when I know I have made all the effort possible, and I'm finally being tested on it. The world literature test result was

...

Any feedbacks would be nice, positive or negative!

Thanks

Undergraduate / Music and International Business communities at Penn - [6]

Hey guys,

I have finished writing the Penn supplement requirement essay... But im having trouble with the introduction... Can anyone give me some ideas on how to write an introduction for this essay?:

Since the beginning of high school, I have unnoticeably built a love for music, and the gap between us only got closer and closer progressively. I look to pursue this attraction to music in the University of Pennsylvania as an undergraduate. There are many musical communities that I can participate at UPenn, and I can contribute to them in many different ways. Penn Symphony Orchestra is something I could partake with my 12-year experience on the piano. I jolted when I heard that Penn's Orchestra previously performed my favorite classical music: Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. A Penn Rock Band is something I could create with my passion for the guitar, the drums and my culturally unique style of composition. Penn Symphony Orchestra is something I could partake with my 12-year experience on the piano. I have also heard about the PennJazz. Learning jazz -- one type of music that I did not pursue during high school -- at UPenn is also an opportunity that I would like to pursue.

With the help of my experiences, my passion for musical instruments, and my creativity, I can contribute to the larger Penn community. I have composed a diverse range of songs throughout my high school life, most of them performed by me and my closest friends in small events. I am willing to help middle or high school students with compositions, or maybe even teach them directly how to play a few musical instruments. These are two of many ways in which I can contribute to the communities of Pennsylvania.

In addition to the social communities at University of Pennsylvania, I would also like to participate in Penn international business volunteers (PIBV). Through UNESCO and International Club at high school, I have developed a strong interest in international predicaments, and I have developed a thorough knowledge about business with the help of higher level IB course: Business and Management. It is for this specific reason that I find PIBV as the most interesting academic community that I want to participate in. PIBV aims to benefit those in need outside of University of Pennsylvania by utilizing business skills. I am willing to contribute to PIBV by putting the business theories that I have learnt from school into practice. I can also contribute by participating in projects like enhancing infrastructures in developing countries with my experiences of helping those in need throughout high school.

One key component in PIBV is raising awareness about the importance of international economic development. Should I join PIBV, I wish to help raise this awareness to the larger Penn community by, for example, screening documentaries about international NGO's, or organizing a state conference about business responsibility. I can also contribute to the wider community by showing them how they can combat poverty as working professionals or globally-engaged citizens. Teaching and raising awareness, as we all know it, is ultimately the best contribution to give to anyone, including the wider Penn community.

Out of many opportunities available at the University of Pennsylvania, the musical community and the International Business Volunteers interest me the most. Through my special talents in music and the dedication and knowledge for business and international issues, I am willing to contribute to the two communities I have mentioned, to the larger Penn community, and even to developing countries and those who are in need.

Thank you :)