Undergraduate / "Overcoming perfectionism" - USC [5]

USC's speaker series What Matters to Me and Why asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.

Most people view perfectionism with a positive connotation; calling someone a perfectionist is a compliment as it demonstrates their concern for quality and achievement. What people commonly overlook are the negative undertones of perfectionism. In this essay, I will show you my experiences of being a perfectionist and how I have learnt that the most important thing in life is to be pragmatic and aware of our limits.

Unless I achieved perfection, I was never satisfied with myself. I was never content with myself unless I outdid the best students. I could put hours of study into an exam and not get full mark. This idealistic view of the world was highly detrimental to my peace of mind but at the time I was completely oblivious towards it. After all, the side effects of perfectionism are sneaky little creatures; it was not as though I was overwhelmed with grief after receiving bad grades. Rather, it was a more subtle but persistent dissatisfaction with my achievements that took permanent residence in my mind.

I only realized this problem in me when I had a talk with my chemistry teacher a few months ago, who saw right through me. He mimicked my perfectionism almost mockingly, pretending to be an obsessive compulsive, arranging his photo frame frantically into an "appropriate" position. He told me of his challenges with perfectionism as a youngster, and his eventual epiphany that freed him from the thrall of perfectionism.

Perfectionism is counterproductive and is not conducive to learning. We all have limits and it's silly to ignore them. When we try hard enough, we can reach this limit. The difference between a normal person and a perfectionist is that a perfectionist refuses to accept his/her innate limit; a perfectionist denies these limits and strives harder. However, this extra effort does not pay off since the perfectionist begins to sacrifice physical, social and mental health, in exchange for a negligible and disproportionally small improvement in academics. In order to achieve a slightly better grade, I lost sleep, rejected almost all of my family and friends' invitations to go out and most significantly, my self-esteem.

As students who aim to be productive members of a community like that at USC, we have to acknowledge the balance that must be achieved between academic achievement and health. Sure, you can stay holed up in your dormitory like a hermit, studying nine-to-five to achieve the best grade you can, why not? But how would that benefit USC's vibrant community? We have to be more selfless and consider our physical, mental and social health. Only then can we efficiently contribute to USC's campus. What good can a valedictorian student do if he or she is too depressed and introverted to be proactive in the community?

You know, I could keep re-drafting and re-drafting this essay and be the perfectionist I used to be, staring at the page in doubt for days. But I've changed. I've grown. Although it has taken many months, I have learned, through this quest called high school and through advice from my chemistry teacher that my unrealistic expectations of perfection which I had embraced since middle school were in fact not worth shooting for.

Any help is appreciated! I'm going for that Dec 1st deadline by the way!

Undergraduate / "My Morning Jacket and my voice" (Essays for USC) [6]

I've written an essay for two different USC prompts. I can't choose which essay to use. I feel like the first essay is a little too typical but the second essay a little too extreme and aggressive. Both are very sincere essays, however.

#2 Visions and Voices is a university-wide arts and humanities initiative that seeks to transform students' perspectives through presentations and performances by top artists, writers and scholars. Tell us about a creative project, performance or other work of yours and how it reflects your vision or voice.

Music is the literature of the 21st century. Music is an art form in the same way that poetry and literature is. Most poetry is well-crafted; they overwhelm the reader with imagery, are personally significant to the author and usually provide insight into the author's society or feelings. Ultimately, good literature and poetry provides the reader with a meaningful and vicarious experience. Why should music be any different?

"I'm amazed at the TV stations; I'm amazed what they want me to believe"

I performed the song "I'm Amazed", a social critique by My Morning Jacket at a charity fundraiser concert at my school in October. I believe people should be judged on their effort and integrity. This performance demonstrated my admiration for sincerity and authenticity, showed my disdain of conformity and illustrated my desire to improve and refine culture in society.

While many other performers at the concert opted for more "popular" music in the vein of hip hop and pop music, I decided to cover an independent, relatively unknown but very conscientious band. Why? The band I covered is a band with integrity that makes the most out of what they have and adhere to their values. They are down-to-earth and keep their egos in check; Patrick Hallahan said in an interview that he liked playing small venues because it allowed the audience to come up on stage and talk to them like "normal guys". They play music not for the money, but because they truly love doing it. These are qualities I share with them; although I knew that the audience at my concert would have little appreciation for the music I played, I continued because it is weak to conform to society when you don't agree with its conventions.

I believe in introducing new music to the masses, which is why I decided to perform "I'm Amazed". As artists who shape the future, it is our responsibility to put culture on the fast lane. I will give pop artists respect where they are due, but I'm sure most can admit that the level of artistic integrity in popular music today is on the decline. I'm not talking about a minor egotistical aside every now and then, I'm talking about "musicians" who approach music as if they suffer from attention deficit disorder; their lyrics are so incoherent it's difficult to believe they actually put more than an ounce of effort in making their music representative of their vision. The music industry is slowly spiraling into a cesspit of vanity, where more effort seems to be poured into promoting the artist's image and securing a place on the Billboard Top 100 than into writing and composing the music. To support this, Jim James said in an interview that he was frustrated about how the media focused so much on My Morning Jacket's image when they started out and probably "didn't listen to the records"; they only drooled over their image of "long hair rockers from Kentucky". Many albums are no longer the concept albums of times ago, but rather an amalgamation of randomly selected songs. The advent of technology and AutoTune has removed all authenticity in music.

By covering songs of an independent artist, I demonstrated my belief that "artistic pinnacle", so to speak, is not impossible to reach. No, you do not have to sell a million records to prove that you are an artist. Likewise, who we are is not what car we drive, how many houses we own and how much money we have. To be a true artist, you must be well-versed with culture. You must have a vision that you want to share with the world. Jim James admired Bob Dylan and Neil Young because "they had something to say" and that made them respectable musicians. This reflects my belief that authenticity and sincerity command more respect from society than fame and financial success.

Who knows? Maybe today's pop music will pass its puberty and mature into something more meaningful in the same way that the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson realized the shallowness of the surf rock about cars, girls and Southern California, and progressed into the much more thought-out records like "Pet Sounds" and the melancholic and touching "'Til I Die" in 1971. Although my performance had no effect on the musical culture in my school, it was a firm stand for my beliefs and my voice.

_____

Thanks!

Undergraduate / USC -activity (the student council at school) and academic interests (business) [3]

Any constructive criticism/pointless musings are appreciated!

Tell us about an activity that is important to you, and why. Please feel free to talk about an activity other than one you may have discussed in your essay.

My involvement in the student council at school was very important to me. During the interview and application process, I carved a niche for myself by emphasizing the three "R"s which described me - realistic, reliable and responsible - words that were alien in the current council. In addition, I upheld my values tenaciously and exuded pragmatism. These were the qualities that got me accepted. I was taught a valuable lesson; intuition and integrity takes you far in life. The activity itself was very rewarding because it provided me with a vast array of opportunities for leadership. My favorite achievement was when I formed a liaison with a neighboring school's student council so that we could make joint efforts, especially in terms of environmental action. Forming this liaison involved talks with their vice principal and teachers, as well as presenting my ideas at an assembly at my own school, where we invited some students from the neighboring school's student council to talk.

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. [my 1st and 2nd choice majors are the biological sciences and business administration]

The tangible and concrete nature of the natural sciences, especially the biological sciences, makes it a compelling area of study. Unlike its counterparts, chemistry and physics, the biological sciences provides unprecedented opportunities for field research, rather than strictly laboratory research. Additionally, Los Angeles is home to many biotechnology firms which will allow me to explore internships while at USC. Unlike any other undergraduate biological sciences program I have come across, USC provides students with a research opportunity at an exotic location like the Catalina Island. My single-sided deafness also motivates me to continue education in the biological sciences; I look forward to using USC's research facilities and knowledgeable faculty to obtain the research skills I will need for developing treatments for this disease.

A course in business administration at the Marshall School of Business appeals to me because of its perfect blend of empiricism and theory; it has roots in very tangible subjects such as the sciences, but also has the abstract and theory of the liberal arts. Taking part in student organizations is an integral part of the USC education because business concepts cannot just be learned, but must be applied to the real world as well. The USC-sponsored Southern California Business Film Festival is something I definitely look forward to participating in, as it will not only further my grasp of business concepts, but also provide me with a way to engage in my creative interests. I would like to join the USC student organization Los Angeles Community Impact (LACI) to help improve the Los Angeles community for the academic enrichment the city provides me with.

Undergraduate / "The Quiet Life" - Why Brown [5]

I'm worried about this short answer because although I think it's a more unique take on the question, it doesn't show my knowledge about Brown very well (except the last sentence; even there it's very basic knowledge). I've changed location names for the sake of privacy, so sorry if it sounds stupid. If you must know, I'm an international applicant. I'm willing to help read other peoples' essays; just let me know.

____________
Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

(958/1000 characters)

I was a nomad for the first seven years of my life. I was born in A, moved to B when I was four and then again to C when I was five. C was a quiet city of just over 100,000 inhabitants. D has over 7 million inhabitants. All my years in D, I've always felt out of place. I remember stepping out of the cab that fateful August evening in 1999 into a whole new world, having to reel my neck backwards to see the top of my new apartment complex. I couldn't adapt to the hustle-bustle, the pollution, the bright lights and the hectic indifference exhibited by commuters in D. The lifestyle here is too systematic and riddled with technology that there is no sense of community. With its relatively low student population, its tight-knit community, a 9:1 student-to-faculty ratio, rich history and most importantly, its unparalleled tranquility, Brown will quell the nostalgia for the quiet life I used to lead.

Undergraduate / "Goose bumps" - Stanford Intellectual Vitality essay [3]

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

(199/250 words)

Don't you love the feeling of goose bumps? Goose bumps, or piloerections to be pedantic, arise from strong emotions or experiences, whether it be fear, awe, nostalgia, adrenaline rushes or music. Why on earth does our body decide to erect our body hairs when we are overcome with strong emotion? What functional purpose does it serve when we're frightened? The simple answer is that there is none; it is just a redundancy in human physiology much like the appendix, the residue of evolution. In the past, mammals had long hairs to not just to maintain body temperature, but also as a self-defense mechanism; when they felt threatened, the erected hairs on their body to make them appear larger and more intimidating to the aggressor. Evidently, you don't see anyone nowadays erecting their hairs to make them appear more intimidating since our hair is just too short. Besides, people nowadays would find extended hair more disturbing than intimidating. In several hundred years, the redundant piloerections may cease to exist in humans. Now, when the chorus of Pink Floyd's "Us and Them" sends waves of goose bumps from head to toe, I can't help but think about Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

Undergraduate / "The 'small-school' feel and broad education" - Why Northwestern? [4]

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Northwestern is the best of both worlds. Firstly, it has the "small school" feel with just over 8000 undergraduates, but provides an unduly broad education across six schools and unprecedented opportunities to students. As a student who aspires to be a scientific researcher, the I appreciate the fact that Weinberg College not only provides, but also encourages undertaking internships, volunteer opportunities and applying for undergraduate research grants provided by Northwestern. These opportunities will allow me to bridge the gap between theory and the "real world".

Secondly, Northwestern balances teaching responsibility and research endeavors perfectly; despite being research-based, Northwestern never neglects its undergraduate education, as 90% of the faculty teaches undergraduate courses. The Weinberg school also provides a hint of liberal arts education with its distribution requirements. My cousin recalled his experiences at UC Berkeley, another research-based institution, where his professors were so focused on their research endeavors that they sometimes had to compromise their teaching responsibilities.

Thirdly, Northwestern students possess both intellect and zeal; an education at Northwestern is more than just a diploma. Students here may be intellects, but they are definitely not hermits, as evidenced by their vigorous involvement in contributing to a vibrant campus life. For example, "Dillo Day", or Armadillo Day, started off as a small celebration in honor of the armadillo, but has since evolved into a much larger celebration that is, thankfully, not just in honor of armadillos! Some of the past performers at Dillo Day such as The Decemberists and The Black Keys are among my favorite bands.

Students at Northwestern are always on the lookout to be proactive and engage with the wider community, as evidenced by Northwestern's environmental initiatives. Most would not consider this to be a key factor in their college decision, but it is to me; Hong Kong is one of the most polluted cities in Asia, with pollution reaching record levels this year. Environmental action is not only important to protect wildlife, but also to protect human health. Having led can recycling activities in my own school, I know how important yet easy it is to carry out our responsibility in saving the environment. Northwestern's "Green Initiatives" such as the Sustainability Working Group and the "Going Green" initiative at Mayfest illustrate the civility of students and staff at Northwestern, justifying their number 8 ranking in the annual "green power" usage out of all universities in the US.

Upon exploring the program I was most interested in (the Department of Biological Sciences), I browsed the Biology Students Association "past events" page and couldn't help but smile at how approachable faculty appeared to be. Regretfully, I have not had the chance to visit Northwestern University or speak to faculty because I am on the other side of the globe, but just reading "FREE PIZZA!!! All are welcome!" indicated to me that Northwestern is the place I want to attend. It is no surprise that there are college advisors at Weinberg, but it is a very welcome surprise that they figuratively pledge allegiance to undergraduates; they stick with you no matter how many times you change your major. It is this dedication to students and these cordial student-faculty relationships that are conducive to learning and make Northwestern a truly impressive and unique school.

The Biology Students Association not only has its connections with faculty, but provides biology homework help sessions and even an "Unofficial Guide to Getting Involved in Research at Northwestern" that simultaneously exudes intellect and gregariousness. Students at Northwestern are not pedants; they are not the aggressively competitive type of student that I have been surrounded by for my life here in Hong Kong. Just a browse through the biology department website has shown me the support and solidarity of students and faculty at Northwestern. Northwestern emanates an aura of amiability that propels my desire to be a part of this unique university.

Undergraduate / "Sensorineural deafness" - Common application [8]

A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

I sit back on my chair, put on my headphones and let M. Ward's Transistor Radio album play. The record evokes patchy imagery of a sun-dappled, sepia-toned suburb of a place far away, a place, as M. Ward likes to say, "where time cannot be told". The Hong Kong skyline out my bedroom window appears to slow down and I find myself blankly gazing at a bright advertising billboard on a hotel several miles away. His record manages to soothe my mind until I get about thirty-five seconds into the song Fuel for Fire; the instruments die away until all I hear a raspy voice so delicate that a drop of rain would shatter it. My entire being is mollified.

"I've travelled all kinds of places
The song is always the same
Got lonesome fuel for fire"

Thump, thump, thump. My trance-like state is cut short by a conspicuous thumping in my left ear that overshadows M. Ward's pacifying voice, thanks to the acoustic guitar.

I suffer from single-sided deafness (SSD), also known as monaural hearing or unilateral hearing loss. The type of deafness I suffer from is sensorineural deafness, where the auditory nerve is damaged and cannot transmit nerve impulses from the cochlea to the temporal lobe in the brain. Unlike conductive deafness, the effect of sensorineural deafness cannot be easily alleviated by mere hearing aids. Surgery, specifically a cochlear implant, can help, but has always been inherently risky and expensive. Both SSD and sensorineural deafness are often overlooked in favor of full or conductive deafness.

Unless I listen to older records from before the early 60s, awkward gaps in music and irritating thumps which arise from my left ear only hearing lower frequency sounds are inevitable. Since a young age, I have always loved music. I was introduced to the piano when I was 8 and began teaching myself the guitar 2 years ago. Music has provided me with a way of connecting with other people, putting my opinion forward, and developing my view of the world. My nemesis is the stereo headphone. As of now, there are few earphones designed for sufferers of single-sided deafness. Though there are some earphones for this purpose, many are not carefully researched; they typically merge the left and right channel of music into a single ear bud, but can further exacerbate the deafness in the affected ear. If I were to use these types of earphone, my left ear, which still retains tiny sensitivity in the bass range (<1000 Hz), would further deteriorate as the brain gradually shuts off the left ear due to lack of use. A much safer design would be to have two ear buds, each bud with both channels merged together and equal in volume.

For sufferers of sensorineural deafness, there is a light at the end of the tunnel; advances in stem cell research look promising for sufferers of sensorineural deafness. The cochlea in all animals turns sound waves from the environment into electrical impulses that the brain can interpret. A critical component is stereocilia; stereocilia are hair cells that line the cochlea and are responsible for the conversion of sound waves into electrical impulses. With the help of stem cells, new stereocilia can be synthesized and implanted into the cochlea of the ear, restoring the cochlea's ability to convert sound waves into electrical impulses.

Just the thought of being able to hear articulate sounds in my left ear incites immense determination within me; for the first time, I may be able to listen through M. Ward's Fuel for Fire in total tranquility. M. Ward's lonely voice will be reunited with its long-lost friend on the other side of the headphone, the acoustic guitar, to form a harmonious concoction that appeases the senses. The only thing an SSD sufferer could possibly miss is tranquil sleep; with the hearing ear to the pillow, the whole world lapses into silence!

I am confident that the path to finding a cure for sensorineural deafness is within reach and this is a cause I ardently promote. The study of human physiology and the biological sciences at university will provide me with the vast knowledge needed for truly understanding the condition and its possible cures. Improving earphone design and stereocilia stem cell research are just some of the things I can do to help both the sufferers of single-sided deafness and sensorineural deafness. The door is already open; I just need to walk through it.

Undergraduate / "Odysseus's Journey Home" - Why Brown? [3]

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

A few months ago, a Brown admissions officer made a ceremonious visit to my high school. She likened the Brown education to Odysseus' monolithic and tortuous journey home to Ithaca. Hearing this, every checkbox for my ideal university was ticked. With Brown's lack of core curriculum, I can design my very own meandering academic adventure. At Brown, the education I receive does not end with a diploma, but with a blossomed and mature character like Odysseus' after his eventful journey home. In addition, Brown students are not pedants; they are intellects with panache and flair, who engage in interests outside of academics. Perfect examples include Brown's "International Ambassadorship Program" which aims to increase the socioeconomic diversity of Brown, the "Spring Weekend" concerts which have drawn classic acts like Elvis Costello and Ella Fitzgerald in the past, and some other lighthearted acts such as rubbing the statue of John Hay for good luck and Brown Band's anachronistic yet euphonic performance of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Undergraduate / Northwestern Letter of Interest - co-authoring UNC paper, NU sex demo. controversy [2]

I was wait listed at Northwestern, so this is actually a letter of continued interest to Northwestern. I'm aware that there is a section on the forum specifically for letters but I thought that it would be more appropriate posted here, since this forum is probably frequented by people more knowledgeable about colleges. Sorry if I should have posted it elsewhere!

Thanks in advance! Please let me know if this is a conventional format for a letter of interest; I've never written one before. There is no specified word limit, and of obviously no prompt either.

_____________________________

Kevin, I've taken your advice and came up with this. The letter has now become an extended metaphor as I have this idea of acquiring the taste of Northwestern as if it were wine running throughout. It's a bit risky, but let me know what you think! (I have highlighted in red the parts of the letter that have undergone major changes.)

Dear ______ ______,

It takes a certain amount of effort to acquire a taste for Northwestern, or any university in general. Like a connoisseur at a wine fair, I pour a sample of each university into my glass and sip it sparingly; some taste better than others, but one thing all have in common is the eclectic mix of tastes each university offers. At the end of the day, I have to choose a wine to buy. Although none particularly suit me, I choose to take home Northwestern; its label is lined in purple and white, the wine is full-bodied, well-aged - a year 1851 and brewed in Evanston, I believe - and seems to have a fantastic reputation among the fair-goers. Over the next few months, I start to develop a stronger affinity for Northwestern, as I make sure to taste it regularly. Over time, I start to taste the nuances in the wine; the flavors begin to spill out - sweetness becomes more pronounced and the bitterness and taste of foreign land begins to evaporate. Before long, I acquire a taste for Northwestern.

My preliminary taste of Northwestern was from an interview with a gracious Alumnus called ____, who did a fantastic job of outlining Northwestern's undergraduate experience given the tight schedule she had - we had to reschedule multiple times! She provided such an honest insight into Northwestern University and nostalgically recalled her friends at Northwestern, one of whom was enrolled in the Integrated Science Program, and another who was enrolled at both Weinberg and Medill. Her fond memories of Northwestern and most importantly, the academic flexibility and research opportunities at Northwestern, allowed me to appreciate the diversity of Northwestern's flavors. Although I was initially skeptical about my match for Northwestern - the coffee didn't ease my nerves while I was waiting -- the road ahead of me was clear by the end of the interview; Northwestern's taste began to grow stronger.

In that interview, I was able to mention some recent achievements I accomplished after I sent in my application. Lately, I have been involved in a volunteer activity helping a research team inthe University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, who are investigating natural phenomena in a regional bat population and to do so, require thousands of letters of DNA collected from the bats to be decoded to reveal the various proteins present in the bats. Given their lack of manpower, the team needed extra help and that was where I came in. Because I had contributed the most out of the many participants (and enjoyed it thoroughly - it felt as though I was getting a preliminary taste of the research I plan to do in college!), my biology teacher chose me to co-author their research paper! As I write to you now, the research team is currently under way as they are processing the thousands of proteins we discovered in the DNA, and is hard at work on their part of the paper. It may be a while before they need my help in contributing my findings, but I will be more than happy to continue to help them, even if it runs into my time in college!

My subsequent taste of Northwestern was through keeping an eye out for Northwestern in the news. Through Northwestern's YouTube channel, I discovered the work of Nina Kraus and her study on the correlation between listening to music and improved linguistic skills. Eventually, I even found her work mentioned in articles that my favorite online cultural news center, Flavorwire, led me to. This was not an isolated case; suddenly, I became more aware of Northwestern in society, which inevitably also included Professor John Michael Bailey's controversial demonstration. After an initial feeling of shock, I came to be quite impressed, not just with how mature students were in approaching the controversial demonstration, but Professor Bailey's well-considered response and Northwestern University's slick handling of the controversy. Reading through the comments on the CNN article where I first read about it, I ran across comments from concerned parents, claiming that the students were "innocent" and that it was the professor's fault, but we know that the students viewed the demonstration with the knowledge that it would be explicit, and, as far as I know, were mature enough to take the demonstration seriously and appreciate the educational value of it. Professor Bailey, like any education-minded professor, was taking a dangerous step, but one he saw necessary for the educational benefit of his students. This controversial affair may have polluted Northwestern's image for some, but has only reaffirmed by desire to attend Northwestern - a place where students and faculty are mature and take education very seriously.

Hopefully, through this letter I have conveyed to you some facets of my character not apparent before, that I feel are most important to your admission decision; I could write so much more about why Northwestern is the ultimate wine, but that would probably test your patience. Whether or not I will be taken off the wait list is unfortunately beyond my control, but I can assure you that if accepted, I will make a permanent home for it in my wine cellar, right on the altar. The unfamiliar, bitter beverage that caught my eye a year ago has over time become an intense, rich and intoxicating wine that I will appreciate time and time again.

I truly appreciate the effort and care you and the rest of the admission committee put into creating the Class of 2015!

Yours sincerely,