Writing Feedback / There's no evidence to prove that computer will do a job of a teacher better [NEW]

Hey guys, I am new to essay forum so this is my first thread. Please help me to correct my mistakes, I am really appreciated!

Thank you guys!

Nowadays, computers are more familiar and useful to us. They appear in daily life, in work and even in education. Some people may think about computer teacher which will replace the position of human teacher in our life. From my point of view, I disagree with this point for the three main reasons: production problem, the common teachers have with students and matter of emotion.

Firstly, computer is just invented by human. It is us to come up with the computer so there is no reason to give computer the right to be our teacher. Moreover, being a product means it can face mistakes anytime, which leads to teach wrong things.

Secondly, human teachers and students are all human, this thing does not happen to robot teachers. Consequently, teachers understand more about their students than computers do. For example, computers are set to do only some repetitive task with every student, there is no different between them. Otherwise, teachers are able to classify the students, decide which methods will meet the demand of that student or so. In short, the same in body structure makes learning easier.

Finally, emotional issue is the important problem that computer can not overcome. Only can teacher share her feelings with her students and understand them. Sometimes, through the understanding inside which is not popular in computer; students are able to perceive clearly about the lesson. Additionally, intuition of a teacher can help her realize her best way to deal with mischief students.

In summary, there is no evidence to prove that computer will do a job of a teacher better than she does. With three points above, I have every confidence that we always prefer our child to be taught by a real human teacher.

Writing Feedback / 'hard work works always' - When people succeed, it is because of hard work [3]

"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above?

People used to say "Count on Luck" because of the idea that luck helps you succeed. But in my opinion, hard working is the key factor to decide whether you are successful or not as it provides good preparation and chance to meet friends and opportunities.

Firstly, diligence helps me to achieve base knowledge which leads straight to success. A good preparation is necessary when chances, which can bring successes, come to us. Besides, a well understanding about my major creates my confidence, help me to express myself one hundred percent better. For example, if I did a math once and in the test I meet it, so I have enough confidence to do it without spending time on finding solution. By and large, only by being well prepared, do I find my success.

In the second place, to meet friends and opportunities are one of the reasons why I choose hard work. If I am a hard working one, I will usually come to library where other passionate people can be met. We can share our ideas, help each other to improve and get experiences. Moreover, chances are wide open when I deal with lots of people. Through conversations or being introduced, more people know about me and I am more likely to get the jobs than others. In short, diligence has another advantage - build a wide range of friends and chances.

In conclusion, I want to emphasize that luck can help you success may be once, but hard work works always.

Help me please, I need comment to correct my mistake. Another problem I meet that, I can not come up with any idea, Can anyone help me???

Writing Feedback / Movies or television influence people's behavior badly. [3]

This is my essay.

What could be more interesting than watching a movie on the weekend! And not just a form of wonderful entertainment, movies also affect human's reaction, which can be explained more in my essay below.

In a movie, we always see the two kinds of characters: the good one and the bad one. Each has his own of characteristics which symbolize for real people. Watching a movie like you are living in a real world, interacting with real people and you can be affected by them because human's behaviors are established by watching and doing after. Consequently, movies will have some affect on how people act in their lives by two ways: the positive and the negative.

Firstly, films can make people change their behavior in a good way. Regarding to some movie about human-being, watchers can have a better view on their lives and become more responsible. For example, "Slum dogs millionaire" is such that movie; you can feel the warm during this film and believe in destiny - good person will have a happy ending that motivate you to live better. Beside, through movies, people can learn more about themselves; know how to be more romantic by watching romantic movies, know how to be well communicated by watching social movies.

Contrast to positive ways, movies sometimes cause negative ways of affecting human. Fighting and shooting at each other can not be missed in action films. This makes a trend of violence among people when they think everything can be solved by fighting. Films are making about the war basically which have no plot in other factors can cause that situation. In addition, movies make people more passive by taking a lot of time enjoy them. They become lazier; even take all their time to do some wishful thinking in their movies.

In short, movies are created to entertain people and how they are affected depend on how they see that movie. If they all see the good in it, they will be well affected or others see in it all the evil, they will act like these evil.

Help me to improve! Thank you all

Writing Feedback / Ielts test: compare three of these communicating tools and choose the best effective [7]

Nowadays, information can be gained from various sources: from books, television and films. Each of these sources offers its own pros and cons. In my opinion, I choose films as the most effective tool to gain knowledge.

In term of advantages, books, films and television can give us the same information in different ways. For example, in historical knowledge, there are so many documentaries film, which can provide information in through film and this knowledge can easily be remembered in head through visual tool. Moreover, if you want to get more detail about the world wide news, television is the best choice because it provide News program with some discussion about your related issues. Additionally, books are suitable to carry around, means that you can learn anytime you feel like. In short, we can not deny the efficiency of these media sources.

In the other hand, they have some disadvantages. Books are really space-taking. Can you have enough space to spare thousand of books in your house? Of course, you can not. Next, we move to television and its cost to have one, it may cost you hundred dollars to own your TV. One more problem is that you do not have enough time to watch every News, every program on TV. In conclusion, considering carefully, these tools also have negatively problem.

Finally, I choose films as my best choice to take in information. Firstly, there are so many categories of film, from documentaries to musical and even romance. I really find myself excited when I am both watching film and learning at the same time. What is more, film can easily be carried because they are quite light and I can watch them again and again as how many times I want.

Summary, books, films and television are really helpful in approaching the knowledge regarding to their advantages and disadvantages. I strongly recommend film as the best way to communicating knowledge.

Thanks for reading and correcting

Writing Feedback / Training, essential skills, friendships: Why people go to universities and colleges? [NEW]

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

After high school, what would you do to ensure your better future? Some people choose to work in order to gaining experiences while some continue studying in colleges and universities. In my opinion, there are three reasons for the later choice: academic education, social skills and relationship.

Firstly, studying in universities and colleges provide a professional environment. To be taught by erudite lecturers with updated material help one person to be well prepared when facing reality. Moreover, a certificate will also be issued to prove one's ability and this is quite helpful when he applies for a job. For example, a company will highly appreciate well trained candidates than those without any training.

In addition, colleges' environment also improves one with soft - skills such as: leadership, organizing, time managing, etc. For instance, university community often hold seminar that relates to your major, attending means you need to presenting, working in a group. Your social skills will improve significantly times by times. Besides, deadlines also put one under pressure which results in responsibility and punctuality.

Finally, establishing new acquaintances is one of the reasons. Joining in clubs such as research, music, media and so on can help one build up his new amity among his friends which is essential in future life. Once a person knows someone new, the possibility he gets a job increase because good reputation circulates better in mouth words.

In summary, for the three reasons I listed above: good training, essential skills and friendship, I have every reason to understand why more and more people attending colleges and universities.

Thanks for reading and correcting my mistakes

Undergraduate / "And they live happily ever after";Happiness is considered important in our life.Why? [5]

Happiness is considered important in our life. Why? What factors are important in achieving?

"And they live happily ever after..."That is how a fairy tale usually ends ï with a happy ending. Long time ago, people always search for happiness and regard them as an important part of our life. But how should happiness be defined is a confusing issue. In my opinion, the definition depends on individual and there are two determinants in finding happiness.

Firstly, happiness is amorphous so it is described rely on each person. For example, some may say the state of being happy happens when they fall in love, others define it as a successful career. Consequently, each individual has his own understanding about happy: Love, money, success, fame and so on. In short, the diversity in diversity of happiness makes it difficult to define.

Moreover, there are two important factors in achieving happiness. The first one is give the best definition to oneself. He should have a clear picture about what he likes, what will bring him satisfaction. Only by knowing exactly one's desire, does he figure out the way to fulfill happiness. Take me as an example; I enjoy playing with number and statistic. Whenever I solve a difficult math question, I always feel excited and of course happy and I take it as a reason why my major is finance. This is the first step in making my life happier.

Additionally, the ability that brings more happiness plays a key role too. We can not deny that with ability, everything will be easier. What would happen if one feel like a job but he does not have enough qualifications for it. Will he continue to choose it? No, advisedly. Will someone be happy if he has to deal with all things out of his reach? No and this is the reason why one should consider carefully when defining the means to make he happy.

In summary, the ambiguity of happiness counts on single person and stating one's desire and his ability have significant impact on how happiness is achieved.

Help me to find out the mistakes. Thanks!

Writing Feedback / Should or not restrict on artists? ---Ielts Test [2]

Artists, who bring us creativities, always desire to show all their imagination. But someone believes that government should set some rules to restrict the open expression of artists. In my opinion, I totally agree with the ideas below because of three reasons.

Firstly, I take the content as a reason. As we are all aware, art should reflect the national culture, there should be no subversion to the government or anything relates to rebel problem. For example, the authorities should encourage more and more artworks in themes of contributing to nation diversity of cultures as well as ban those which refer to ambiguous issues and separating citizens.

Secondly, there should be interdicted on customs of artists. The clothes need to match the topic of the artworks, particularly the pictures or the songs. For instance, one actor attended the National Film Festival and she wore a bikini, should it be allowed? She may say it is her style as her excuse, but it can not be accepted. Moreover, if a singer on stage with only a short custom and she is making unsuitable moves, how the audiences will react? Does this bring a good impression to the country? Of course not, that is why the customs should be included in laws for artists.

Finally, the means of expression are involved. Art makers have the freedom to show their ambition through words, pictures and films but it should be under controlled of the government. Drawing on new walls with meaningless pictures and words or creating music in the middle of the night which bothers neighborhood is not recommended. In fact, there should be legislation about the fine when artists make environments pollution and noise pollution.

In summary, creators are welcomed to come up with new ideas if they follow some government rules about the content, the clothes and the perception.

Writing Feedback / Should universities accept the equal men and women? -- Ielts Test [3]

Every universities providing information about the gender always show that there is a difference between men and women for each field. In the electricity, for example, the proportion of men usually higher than women's one while in educating subjects, this is illustrated an opposite trend. In my opinion, there are some reasons to prove the benefits from accepting the same number of male and female in universities.

Firstly, we need both men and women - the perfect couple of God to survive. That is why the best sample of an effective class is the one with ratio of male and female is 1:1 which means for each man, we have one woman. They can be divided equally as a pair creating the balance of the gender inside as well outside the class.

Moreover, the equality in society status is more popular. Nowadays, the role of a mother is no more only staying at home and taking care of her child but also to be a professional at her major. Additionally, cooking men will not be shame because of their passion to cook. We have to admit that the majority of famous cook of all time is men, not women. Integrity makes people omit the stereotypes and status quo. Both male and female have the rights to follow their dreams and sex will not be a barrier if admission department takes their applications into consideration carefully, excluding gender factor.

Finally, the same percentage of men and women provides the best effect of the team working performances. Each gender has the strengths and the weaknesses. Being chosen into a group with the analogous number of female and male can help them complete themselves and their peers. For instance, male have the strength and determination and women are soft and altruistic.

In conclusion, we can not deny the trend to break the prejudices on what only men can do or women can and the pros of how well a balanced gender class can affect learning.

Writing Feedback / 'the mental desire without money' - Happiness in life - Ielts writing. [8]

Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success. Others argue that the happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion

On the way looking for true happiness, some people take economics success as the most important determinant in building up the state of being delighted. Others praise the idea that other factors should be the foundation for joyfulness in life. Both views have its reasons.

For the first opinion, supporters may take the strength to fulfill the physical desire as the advantage. This reason is quite convincing, especially in the context of unstable economy. There is no doubt that money will ensure you a better life. You will be approached with the advance in medical treatment, no more pressure from work if an exciting holiday by travelling and exploring new land is waiting for you. Moreover, your future generation - your children will be entitled with well-education, with well-equipped rooms and small-size classes. In short, richness makes life easier, which leads to happiness.

However, the latter view also has its validity. There is still something that cannot be bought by money: the mental desire. Only family and friends can bring you the pleasure feelings which cash cannot exchange for. Another factor is our perspective to life: are we optimistic or pessimistic. A research has shown that 50% delightful people find themselves in the bright side instead of worrying about unnecessary things. That means our points of view to a matter somehow affect the state of happiness.

In conclusion, after both sides considered, I take the balance of financial issue and peace in mind to contribute to my happiness in life.

Thank you for reading and correcting my writing.

Writing Feedback / Taking a gap year, should or should not? IELTS writing test 2 [NEW]

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In America or other European countries, taking a year off between high school and university is recommended and it is called "gap year". The pros and cons brought up by this left year should be careful considered before one student decides her future. In my opinions, this situation provides more advantages than disadvantages.

First of all, going to university is a big decision one has to make when graduating from high school. Investing in higher education reveals many problems: financial insufficient, time management, ability and most important which major to choose. Gap years will help anyone who still confuses about whether or not to study in university makes her mind up. During the gap years, she can work or travelling, while finding her true ambition. Working in a specific field, for example, teaching poor children in volunteer work, make her mature, thinking deeply about the future job she desire to work. Another advantage is travelling through other land, exposing to diversification of culture and work resources may lead to other higher purpose which can not be find out if staying at home passively. In conclude, years off from high school confirm one's future position, in university, in which major or in other working field.

Secondly, there are some disadvantages of gap year as a whole: more money and time spent as well as the opportunity cost. One year without attending to university or in any other work place means one year late in comparison with normal students. One taking gap years has to accept either the living cost or the time consumed, while other friends study and graduate earlier than her. It also about the opportunity cost: one year travelling makes no money; even she can spend more than amount should have been invested to education. That is why gap years are not always the best choice, especially with who have a clear goals and strategies for future.

In summary, the advantages and disadvantages of gap years can be seen clearly, although the good ones are more than the bad ones. Even one takes gap years or not; she should define what she wants to do when staying in the high school.

Thank you for reading and correcting my writing.

Writing Feedback / 'Country history' - people visit museums when they travel to new places [NEW]

Since the purposes of building a museum are to provide information about a culture, historical length and people, it is reasonable to ones to visit a museum when they are on vacation in a new country. Here are my supportive reasons.

Firstly, a museum reflects the country's history. By chronologically organized, each section of the museum will lead the viewers living with events from the pre-history to the modern time. What happened in different time frame is also clarified by real collected things, documentary films, and artificial models. For example, when visiting the History Museum of Vietnam, visitors will explore Vietnam in different perspectives, when Vietnam was in the Nguyen Dynasty or when it was in the American War with a numerous visualized items. These experiences to see the real ancient objects cannot be supplied in any movie.

Along with the historical supplement is the cultural source. Exploring a culture museum is just like diving in the ocean of traditional rituals and new customs. Different parts in one country will have their own habits of living, and it is infeasible to go through all the country to find their culture. A cultural storage, where all the customs are recorded, is much more practical for those with time limited. Take the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology for instance, just one day in the place to enjoy all cultural heritages of the 54 ethic groups rather then spending 2 years for travelling all over Vietnam.

Finally, the most important factor to build up the historical and cultural values is people. Visiting one country's museum also means finding about the human-being here. What they did, how they survived, how to create a 1000 years cultural length ... Art museum is a precise example. The lives of people are all being granted in the paintings and by looking at them, art-lovers can imagine the stories behind.

In short, there are many ways to visit a country but in my opinion, pay a visit to museums is one of the most effective and time-saving in gaining information about the history, heritage and people there.

Writing Feedback / Experienced learning or classroom learning? [2]

Knowlegde can be asborbed in two most common ways: by experience or by authentic education in classroom. Eventhough, each has its own pros and cons, I still regard the classroom instruction as the more importance source of learning.

First of all, it is undeniable that learning by eperience can bring us a lot of benefits, for example like the flexibility in studying. One does not have to register for a class in an university to be eligible for the studying, he just live his own life and gain knowlegde through all activities experienced. Let's take the engineering as an instance. An graduated engineering from an university may be better at theory knowlegde than a trained by experience engineering. However, the latter one would be good at practical issues such as how to repair a car in a fastest way, etc. Besides, personal experience method also has some disadvantages: the learner not focus o the studying or the knowlegde learn is not authentic and academic.

In constrast, classroom learning method can turn all the disadvantages of a experienced learning process into its advantages. Attending a classroom means that one can access to a numerous authentic material which have been standardized. Lecturers who bring knowlegde to students are always availble to answer any question arisen during the studying period. Library with wide range of studying material also plays as an useful facilitator for learners. Moreover, being a full-time learner also provides student with more time to dig into his favourable field. In spite of this, an enrolled student will be restricted to the time and place required by the learning institutions which turns out to be a disadvantage point.

All in all, I prefer the second method of learning by attending in an offline class for the benefits of concentrated knowlegde and effective tools of learning.

Writing Feedback / Microwave oven and fastfood store in our lives [3]

The advent of microwave oven and fast food has brought us to a totally new way of living. Some people may argue that the coming of these products reduces our time for family and even for ourselves. However, I think, microwave ovens and fast food restaurants provide us with two main advantages: the high productivity at work and the simplification of life.

Firstly, we can not deny the impacts these high technology machine made on our work which produced a higher productivities. The reasons for these increase can be explained easily based on the fact that, we do not have to spare time preparing our meals - the time that we can focuse on doing our work. For example, a woman working in a busy office has to go back home at noon to prepare food for her family. If she purchased a microwave oven at home, she can save her time by making the food in the morning before she goes to work and at noon, all the family members just have to reheat the food with the oven. The time saved she can stay rest at the office and get herself ready for the afternoon shift which can result in a better performance in working. It will be easier and more effective to own a microwave oven in the kithen to achieve your ambition in career.

Last but not least, the apparence of fast food stores and microwave machines bring life the simplification. In the past, women were always in charge of making meals for family. Now, with the technology, the burdens on women's shoulders have been left just by a simple button or a simple call. Instead of staying all day in the kitchen, women now can spend more time take care of themselves and concentrate on other activities to enhance the family's bond. Life is simplier with the help of these inventions

In short, microwave and fastfood have become a part of our life, which bring us enormous benefit.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: IMPACT OF INTERNET on LIFE [4]

8. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Internet can be regarded as one of the world most important invention which brings numerous impacts on people's life. Some people may show their reasons for the negative effects brought by Internet. However, I personally believe that the advent of Internet has civilized positively our way of living, both physically and mentally

Firstly, Internet brings us the physical impacts by simplifying life. Nowadays, everything can be done easily with the services supplied on the Internet which include the online shopping, news providing and even weather forecast online. People can be found in the street, taking with them the Ipad with Internet connection to catch all the latest news, instead of hurrying to find a new hard copy paper. There will be no tired of looking for a bottle of milk in a giant supermarket, women can stay at home and do all their shopping online, which is much time-saver. What is more? Internet will satisfy all the commands given by just a simple gesture - a click on the mouse. In short, the first advantage of Internet can be seen widely in our daily life.

Secondly, emotional effects can also be counted. With the advent of Internet, people are more likely to connect with each other, regardless of the time and distance. So many software like skype, yahoo messenger have been developed to match with the demand of Internet users. Social network such as Facebook is also an good example. Friends or family members can connect freely through this platform by simply updating the statuses, posting pictures and writing notes about their feeling. Not only strengthening the intimacy of people, Internet also provides us with a wide range of entertainment services to delight our days. Hence, youtube, game online can be strong cases to illustrate.

In summary, numerous impacts brought by the Internet will enhance its strong position in future. People will live a life with better physical and mental care.