Undergraduate / 'Cell phone beep' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality [7]

Please help me out, i've been working on this for hours and this is all i've come up with.

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. character limit 2000

'Beep Beep'. All faces turned grim as the only cell phone in the car died. The family road trip to Miami quickly became a nightmare as we were lost driving at midnight and now had lost all contact with help. The only form of hope, a car charger, was broken.

My eight-year-old self sensed the urgency and got to work. I pried open the charger using a pocketknife and laid everything out. A broken spring behind the metal contact caught my eye and I pondered the possible fixes. As I was thinking, my eyes suddenly landed on a stray pen. The light bulb in my head blazed to life. I knew the mechanism for a pen and I tore it apart to find a spring similar to the one in the charger. I switched out the parts, realigned the other parts, and clicked everything together. Praying that my fix would work, I anxiously jammed the charger into the socket with my eyes closed. When I didn't hear a sound, my heart started to sink. But then out of the silence, I heard a 'beep beep' and opened my eyes to see that the phone was turning on. A big smile was plastered on my face as my family cheered for me. Their worried expressions were transformed into happy ones and I felt like a hero.

At this moment, I realized how much I really loved to see how things worked. I had always liked to open up and fix things with my dad, but I did that more to make my dad happy than any other reason. I had never done it for my own enjoyment. This was the first time I realized that building and fixing things was fun. I got a rush out of it that I didn't get anywhere else. The fact that I can bring together parts that can't do anything alone into one contraption that serves a purpose amazes me still. I also love the fact that building something is pure creation. I am able to turn a concept that is in my mind into something in the real world. After this moment, I started building things for my own enjoyment. I was soon sure that I wanted to do it for the rest of my life and decided I wanted to be an engineer.

Any feedback is appreciated! I am not the best writer.

Undergraduate / 'Moving away and going to college' - Stanford Roommate Letter [21]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better. Character limit: 2000

Dear roommate,
I'm excited to meet you! Moving away and going to college is a big change and I hope we can get through it together. Since we are going to be spending a lot of time together, there are some things that you should know about me.

First and foremost, I am a pretty calm and laidback person. So if you have some quirks that you're concerned about, don't worry, everything will be fine. When you first meet me, you'll probably think I'm quiet, but trust me that will disappear very soon. When we get past our initial awkwardness, you'll see very quickly that I like to talk a lot. Technology, politics, current events, I'll talk about anything really! I love debating and discussing different viewpoints. If you want to talk about something, I'm here to listen too. Everybody tells me I'm great at giving advice so don't be shy. I'm also almost an obsessive thinker. At any moment of any day, you can be sure that there is something brewing within my mind whether it be as simple as what I'm eating for dinner or as complicated as the meaning of the existence of the Higgs Boson.

Another thing you should know is that I'm a big sports guy. Football and Basketball are my favorites, but I keep up with all sports. When the big game is on T.V., I might go a little crazy when my team scores, but I'll try to keep the volume down if you want me to. If you aren't a fan, I hope you become one as we spend time together. It would be great to watch games together!

One last thing, I am usually a neat person but when I'm working or deep in thought, cleanliness is the last thing on my mind. Also, I like to take things apart if it's broken or if I'm bored. So don't be alarmed if you come back to the dorm one night and you see that the floor is covered in computer parts or the pieces to what used to be a radio. I actually hope you'll decide to join me!

All in all, I'm pretty easy to get along with and I'm really looking forward to a great year with you! See you then!

Any help will be appreciated! Be as harsh as you need to. All critical criticism is welcome. I'll be glad to help anybody out who asks too

Undergraduate / 'want to see life worth living' - Stanford What matters to you and why? [4]

Well the deadline is getting dangerously close. Final stretch. Please help me! This was the hardest prompt, but I finally found a response. Tell me what yall think

What matters to you, and why? Character limit: 2000

The clock strikes 4 A.M. I take another warm soothing sip of my chai and start click clacking on my keyboard again to finish an essay for my English class. The headphones in my ears ooze out empowering songs to motivate me. As the hook of the song approaches, I jump out of my seat, sing silently into my pencil and do a little dance. I jump up with the upbeats, groove left and right with the flow of the song, and legitimately believe the pencil in my hand is a real microphone. Its 4 A.M. and there's an important essay due in the morning, a situation that most students dread, but I'm having a great time. I once heard somebody say, "If it's not fun, you're not doing it right." What's important to me? Having fun is important to me. What's the point of life if you don't enjoy living it?

Don't get the wrong idea though. I'm not a party boy who prioritizes fun over everything. I'm actually quite studious and take learning and education very seriously. But from a very early age, my father told me that fun is all about perspective. He'd always say how he had worked very hard for thirty years to where he was today and if he wasn't having fun while doing it, he would have gone crazy a long time ago. That message has always been a key facet in my life. Some people might see an all-nighter to finish an essay as a struggle, but I flip it around. What I think is, I'm going to finish the essay no matter what, so I might as well enjoy it. With that mindset, work transforms from a hated adversary to a welcomed friend.

I already know that there will be many things in life that I won't want to do but it is my job to make them enjoyable. Work is tedious and boring only if you allow it to be. When I'm old and looking back on my life, I don't want to see that I've lived a life of hardship and labor. I want to see life worth living, a life full of happiness and excitement. I want to be able to say exactly what Thomas Edison said, "I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun."

Undergraduate / 'my dad continued to pour his information on me' - Common App [4]

I wrote this essay for another college but it had the same prompt. I just had to cut it from 1600 words to much less. Tell me what you think! Be as harsh as you need to. All criticism is welcome! Thank you!

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

I was eight years old. I was listening to the ruckus of the vacuum in the living room when suddenly, I hear a bang and then silence. The vacuum broke and I knew what that meant. I pulled out the tool chest and met my dad at the site of the patient. We both settled and prepared for surgery. All the surgical tools were present, screwdrivers, pliers, etc. With the use of screwdrivers, we split her open and peered at her internal organs: a motor, wires, gears, and belts. Everything seemed complicated to my inexperienced eyes just as it did in all of our projects, but I dove right in with my dad and his years of experience as our guide. I watched and listened as he confidently showed me how the belt attached to the motor and carried on the power chain just as he did in every one of our projects. Just like always, as he talked, things began clearing up for me.

Suddenly, as my dad continued to pour his information on me, I had an epiphany. The vacuum's inner workings reminded me of some of the past projects that we had done together. The mechanism was clear to me now, and I finally understood the problem. I reached into the patient and found what I was looking for. My dad watched as I clicked a hidden belt back onto its gear. As I had finished my tinkering and started explaining my solution, my dad stared at me and smiled proudly. When we had first started doing projects together years ago, I would practically be a spectator and watch as my dad fixed the problem himself, but now, I had found the solution first. Although this was the first time, it would not be the last.

Since I was six years old, my dad and I would work together on "projects." If something broke, the toolbox came out, and a project ensued upon the item in peril. We would tear apart basically anything we could get our hands on without being scolded by my mother. We fixed, tinkered, invented, and just explored whenever we got the chance. We loved seeing how the inventors of whatever we worked succeeded in reaching their objectives. Obviously, we couldn't fix absolutely every project that we came across, but we would always learn something new about the item before reluctantly letting it go. The most important thing these projects did was ignite my love of learning and knowledge, and give me an insatiable curiosity. Just as I would always love seeing how each mechanism we worked on functioned, I now thirsted to see how everything worked. I required understanding. Since those projects, I have always strived to answer the "why" in everything I notice and have taken every opportunity to learn anything I can.

My dad's influence can be seen everywhere. In any situation, I strive to know all the detailed explanations and the answer to "why." Just as my dad and I hated to let go of an unfinished project, I can't let go of something if I don't understand it completely, and I refuse to admit defeat. My dad's teachings have also been etched onto my attitude on life. I believe everything has an answer, all problems a solution, and that nothing is impossible to accomplish. If faced with a problem I can't beat, I use my creativity and ingenuity to overcome. My need for understanding, my inability to admit defeat, and my creativity are the key to my success and all originate in those humble moments with my dad.

Even as I sit here as a young adult, I still love to build things and have "projects" of my own. I learn something new each time; because of my dad, I will continue to learn for as long as I live. Even though he isn't with me in every project, his teachings never leave. His actions shaped me to become the person I am today and motivate me to become even better. All I have accomplished and all that I will ever become is because of my dad.

Undergraduate / 'a convenience store in a small town' - Princeton - What did you do this summer [4]

Please take a look at my essay! I decided to Princeton very last minute and I was able to put this together. Be harsh

Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

"Thank you, have a nice day!" I said as the nice man with the two little kids left the store. Then as my brother tended to the next customers, I went to my dad who was fixing a display rack. I picked up a hammer and got straight to work. After a few hours of sweat and a little blood caused by a stray nail, it was finally 11 o'clock. Closing time. My dad, my brother, and I did the daily check out and locked up for the night. We headed home, talking about the interesting events of the day during the entire ride. This is what I did for the past two summers.

My dad owns a convenience store in a small town in northern Florida. Before moving to Texas, this was my home. But even after moving to Texas, my family returns every summer. It's a big change going from a bustling and busy city to a small town where almost everybody knows each other. I would be bored to death if it weren't for working at my dad's store. Whenever a regular costumer sees me, they immediately recognize me from before I moved and say how I'm not the tiny kid I used to be and we converse about life. This is what kept life interesting.

Everything seems slower in a small town. The cars seem slower, people seem slower, even time itself seems slower. At first, it's nice to get away from the big city, but soon boredom rears its ugly head. To combat this revolting villain, I resorted to work and my new hobby of programming. I see programming as a new world and it is free for me to mold into any image I please. The specific world I was dealing with last summer was the iPhone. I had never programmed for the device before but I had always wanted to try it. I dreamed to see my name on the "top apps" page of the app market more than anything that summer, so I got to work. Whenever I asked my brother or sister for help, they'd retort a sarcastic answer like "why don't you just ask Steve Jobs?" But their discouragement only fueled my desire to get it done. I learned the entire language, the interface, the syntax, and came up with an idea for a game all on my own and I got it done. I plan to launch my game in March 2012.

Other than working and programming, I just enjoyed the little things in life. I went to the beach and watched as the waves licked the sand. I ran and played basketball whenever I got the chance. And I spent quality time with my family. I may not have had something amazing to say when my teachers asked me "what did you do this summer?" but I definitely had a good time.