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Posts by frenchfries [Suspended]
Name: LINH
Joined: Mar 24, 2017
Last Post: Apr 19, 2017
Threads: 7
Posts: 18  
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From: Vietnam
School: Gia Định high school

Displayed posts: 25
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frenchfries   
Apr 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / The prevalence of Western clothes. [5]

@Holt
thank you so much, Holt. I really appreciate your feedbacks and comments. They have helped me improve so much. I will try more next time.
frenchfries   
Apr 15, 2017
Writing Feedback / The prevalence of Western clothes. [5]

Topic: In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why ? Is this a positive or negative development ? (about 300 words)

jeans and suits - what to wear?



Clothes such as suits and jeans, which come from Western countries, have become a fad recently. Western clothes are also much more pervasive than traditional costumes. As far as I am concerned, I believe that there are a variety of reasons for the prevalence of Western clothes. From my perspective, this growth will have beneficial effects on many sides.

There are certain primary causes entailing the popularity of Western clothes. The first reason is these modern clothes make people feel much more comfortable and satisfied. It is inevitable that jeans and suits are more convenient compared to conventional clothes. Jeans and suits are chosen because wearing them makes workers and students feel relieved and easy to perform many different tasks. For instance, if a Japanese employee wears a kimono to run a business, they may struggle with its huge size and encumbrances and therefore may not work effectively. Another reason is because these trendy clothes help people save money and time. Choosing clothes to put on is no longer time-consuming due to the flexibility of jeans and suits in many situations. These fashion-forward clothes also save consumers' money because of its durability to wear for many years.

Moreover, regarding suits and jeans' popularity, I believe this development will give rise to some positive impacts. Because they can boost people's working and studying efficiency, these modern clothes also reduce the gap between cultures as well as social classes such as the rich and the poor. This phenomenon will become negative only if people wear modern clothes and underestimate their cultural identity and national values. On the contrary, if people still respect their traditional clothes and wear national clothes on special occasions such as "ao dai'' of Vietnam or "hanbok" of Korea, wearing jeans and suits is not a serious problem.

In conclusion, I believe that jeans and suits are the best choices when people go to work or learn at schools as a result of their convenience and simplicity. Despite their benefits, citizens all over the world must respect their cultures and traditional values, including their national clothes.
frenchfries   
Apr 15, 2017
Undergraduate / My reasons of choosing master of health management. [6]

Hello, you should have a sentence to introduce your essay. You cannot open your essay with ''firstly''.
Plus, the phrase ''appropriate quality of health'', I am not sure about this sentence and wonder whether it's true or not. You should check collocation dictionary first before rewriting.

If you want to write a good essay for applying scholarship, you have to express for people to know what special about you and why you choose this university, not because of its rank but something more and more special, suitable with you. I mean you should write more specific instead of writing too general about yourself and your chosen university.
frenchfries   
Apr 12, 2017
Writing Feedback / Should we help people from other countries ? [3]

Topic: We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

support for poorer nations or not?



Some people claim that it is impossible to support all citizens who need assistance throughout the world. Therefore, people should only focus on giving a hand for their own societies and countries. As far as I am concerned, I totally disagree with this point of view. From my perspective, citizens have powerful abilities to offer assistance to others and it is essential to support foreigners for a variety of reasons.

Helping as many people who are in challenging situations as possible is necessary due to the humanity. As we all know, there are millions of people, not only in our own countries but also in other areas, have to suffer from the difficulties every hour. These people may face with the impoverishment or infectious diseases. It is undeniable that they are the one who need the others' help the most. If the rich or those who are able to support only try to help residents in their nations, the poor or the homeless from other communities who live under unbearable conditions may come into death. The contributions of foreigners can give them more opportunities to survive and overcome obstacles or at least mitigate their sufferings.

Another important reason for providing assistance for other areas' inhabitants is assistance has no limit. In other words, assistance and sharing from a person to another is extremely immense, even when it comes out of our own nations. Every individual is able to lend others a hand and help them more or less. For instance, there are many youngsters and adults in Africa have to encounter with contagious diseases, which are curable in many developed countries. If we cannot give them financial support, we can, as a result, become volunteers to come there and help them with vaccines or even just share our love with them. Our little donations can give people who from low economic-socio background a chance to live and address their problems more easily.

In conclusion, even though helping residents who are disadvantaged in our nations is crucial, people should not ignore to support the citizenry in other communities. I strongly believe that everyone is responsible for supporting others, based on the humanity.
frenchfries   
Apr 12, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: Poor memory in modern life [6]

Hi, I think you should write your essay with one paragraph with one cause and a solution for that cause and keep on. It means you will have two paragraphs in Body part. Your conclusion should have at least 3 sentences.
frenchfries   
Apr 12, 2017
Undergraduate / AFRICAN LIFE STORY/JOURNEY - SMU PROMPT [4]

I think your essay is quite good, you have used a bunch of good vocabs and easily to understand. There is one thing I can find in your essay

I think you should write ''All I can do is TO take the amazing ... "
frenchfries   
Apr 6, 2017
Writing Feedback / Which factor is important to stop the poverty and hunger in a country. [4]

Topic: Some people think that economic growth is the only way to stop the poverty and hunger. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? (write approximately 300 words)

Solutions to curb the poverty and starvation



It is believed that only economic progress can put a stop to the poverty and hunger. From my perspective, I disagree with this point of view. As far as I am concerned, there are many factors, which are more decisive and vital than economic development, can give rise to the decrease of the poverty and hunger in a country.

First of all, In order to make a country become wealthier, an out-standing education system is a key factor. As we all know, education provides people many useful skills to develop and become talented. For instance, people are taught numerous moral lessons, which deters them from committing the crimes, and therefore become good residents for the societies. Additionally, well-educated people are also equipped with specialized knowledge. With know-how they have gained, people such as workers, doctors or engineers will have abilities to work efficiently as well as make great contributions to their countries.

Another criterion to curb the poverty and starvation is the authority's policies. It is inevitable that the government's decisions will have tremendous impacts on the developments of the country. The authority's orders and plans are much more important than economic progress, simply because the leaders' strategies will lay the foundations for the nation's growth. If those in control focus on solving the starvation and allocating national budgets on supporting people who from low socio-economic background, the poverty and hunger will certainly decline. It is obvious that the authority is the root of every nation. The positive contributions of the responsible leaders will, therefore, lead to the country's prosperity and set a limit on hunger and poverty rate.

All in all, even though economic growth is crucial to the development of a nation, I personally think that an excellent education system and the responsible government are much more important in reducing the poverty and hunger.
frenchfries   
Apr 6, 2017
Writing Feedback / Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave? [4]

I personally think your essay has some grammar mistakes such as in paragraph 1 " what we should we were ''?. You should not write capital letter between your sentence. However, your essay is quite okay except some mistakes.
frenchfries   
Mar 31, 2017
Writing Feedback / Influences of advertising - are these ads really necessary? [2]

Topic: The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree ?

Advertising should be more controlled and limited



In today's world, there are different categories of advertising, which have become more and more prevalent. Some people believe that if all advertising forms prohibited, citizens will be benefited in many ways due to its usefulness. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view because of a variety of reasons.

First of all, advertisements are time-consuming and popular, which makes people feel dissatisfied and disturbed. As all we know, there are numerous types of advertisements, ranging from adverts on TV channels and product placements to promotional campaigns. Undoubtedly, residents have to confront with them on a daily basis, which may cause people feel exhausted and annoyed. For instance, when viewers are focusing on watching a gorgeous film, every five minutes, products are brought by actors or actress as a symbol of advertisements such as Samsung smartphones. These product placements exist everywhere in the films, which may make viewers have a sense of dissatisfaction and their concentration may be interrupted instantly. Therefore, if the authority curbs advertisements, people will certainly feel relieved without worrying about the over-popularity of adverts.

Another reason is product-images on advertisements are quite distinct from the conditions of real items. It is inevitable that producers have to afford a huge amount of money to pay for adverts. They, as a result, have to lower the quality of the real items to make higher profits. Many companies take advantage of the luxury of the promotions to boost the conditions of their products. Customers are easily deceived by eye-catching appearances of goods on advertisements even though the real items are unqualified. As a result of advertising appeal, consumers will totally trust producers and purchase their goods without concerning about its true colours. Consequently, residents may use low-quality products, which might be made of chemicals or preservatives. It is obvious that those promotional campaigns introduces people misleading information of products while people always want to buy something have positive influences on their health. Consequently, advertisements should be forbidden due to its damage.

All in all, although all forms of advertising provides consumers general know-how about what they are pronch to buy, I personally think that those in control should limit them due to its detrimental impacts on people's life, including their emotions and their health.
frenchfries   
Mar 31, 2017
Letters / Applying for a business school in Netherlands - Motivation letter for Business Administration [3]

I think you should show your reasons why you want to choose this major and tell people about your future activities. What you are going to do as well as your experience related to your major. You shouldn't tell too much information. Tell what involved to the major. Express why you really want to study that kind of major.

In the last paragraph, ''I have always been working ...''
And some courses, not course.

In the fourth paragraph, using the data providedby the bookstore consumers.
frenchfries   
Mar 31, 2017
Writing Feedback / New technologies have developed dramatically in the recent years. IELTS, task2 writing module [5]

@jason_alan
Hello, I think you should write your essay with topic sentences. This type of essay requires you to choose one opinion, you agree or disagree, and you have to express to defend your side. You need to express your personal opinion " I totally disagree with this point of view'' or '' I completely agree ...'' in the introduction. Then, you write the reasons why you agree or disagree and support it throughout your essay.

I, personally, think that you need to have at least 3 sentences for your conclusion.
frenchfries   
Mar 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / IMPORTANT FACTORS TO CHOOSE A JOB. [3]

@Holt
thank you so much for your suggestions and your advice, I will practice writing the essays in the required time.
frenchfries   
Mar 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / IMPORTANT FACTORS TO CHOOSE A JOB. [3]

salary in a work consideration



topic: When choosing a job, the salary is the most important. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Career choice is one of the most important decisions people have to make carefully. Some people believe that the income is a key factor to secure a job. From my perspective, I disagree with the statement. My view is there are certain aspects which are more significant than the salary when people choose their jobs.

First of all, a passion for one job plays an indispensable role when people decide their occupations more than high salaries. In other words, career choices must be based on people's likes and what they have burning desires for. Job seekers should look for careers which are suitable with their personalities and their dreams instead of following high-paid jobs. Simply because a favorite career gives rise to high job satisfaction. It creates joyfulness and make employees delighted in working. As a result of high job satisfaction, workers will run their business more efficiently and in a much more productive way. Employees will be motivated to work and be creative during working time as they are doing what they have passions for. It is obvious that career choices will affect long-term life. Staff may, therefore, torture themselves with stress and negative emotions if they have well-paid jobs but not their passions.

Another criterion when seeking an occupation is working conditions. Even though handsome income will help workers to meet their requirements, they will certainly have a sense of dissatisfaction if they have to work in primitive conditions. For instance, the company lacks modern devices and updated machines, which helps worker conduct effectively. The shortage of equipment may cause the staff become exhausted to fulfill their tasks. Moreover, attitude of co-workers is vitally important when the work needs staff cooperation. People may get demotivated if they cannot get along well with their co-workers. It is inevitable that a good working environment results in the efficiency in working. Consequently, job seekers should look for a favorable working conditions which provide people an incentive to work harder in place of a high salary job but cannot work satisfactorily.

All in all, although it is necessary to find a career which offers a high sum, I personally think that job satisfaction is by far the most important, including a work that people are interested in and work atmosphere. Workers cannot apply an occupation without considering about what they have strong feelings for or how good the working conditions are. Consequently, when applying a job, aside from the salaries, job satisfaction must be taken into consideration.

Thanks in advance!!
frenchfries   
Mar 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: environmental topic, fossil fuels / other forms of energy [6]

Hello, your essay is good, I like some good vocabs in your writing.
I think you should pay attention to plural and countable nouns. For example, ''toxic gases'' instead ''toxic gas'' and ''pollutants'' instead ''pollutant''
Your conclusion must have at least 3 sentences.
frenchfries   
Mar 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / How to support developing countries ? [3]

topic: Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

Help for poorer world areas



In today's world, international support plays an essential part for the progress of developing countries. While some people claim that it is more realistic for global organizations to supply these countries with money. Nonetheless, from my perspective, practical aid and advice is more vitally important for developing countries than financial aid.

On the one hand, financial assistance can be such a driving force for countries with difficult conditions to thrive. It is inevitable that developing nations have to struggle with the shortage of revenue annually. National budget does not have enough financial resources to promote residents' life as well as motivate the social developments. Therefore, funding from global organizations helps governments tackle the issue of lacking money, meaning that the authority will have more chances to rebuild their nation without concerning about financial difficulties. Thanks to the contributions of world organizations, poor countries can utilize the huge amount of money to improve living standard of residents. It is obvious that the support from all over the world will certainly give rise to numerous positive impacts on many sides of poor nations, ranging from economics to commercial. Moreover, financial aid can be used to boost the quality of education and health-care system and some aspects that have low quality.

On the other hand, practical aid and advice is more necessary and beneficial for those nations with impoverished background. Simply because practical aid and guidance from specialists and researchers throughout the world has a long-term effect for poor countries to thrive. For instance, in many countries in parts of Africa, local civilians have to live below poverty line due to the lack of food and fresh water. The life, however, has become better because of volunteers from developed countries, who have come to these areas with updated machines to help some Africans the way to produce more food and have more water. In addition, volunteers also provide medicines for difficult places where people have to confront with the outbreaks of severe diseases. Practical aid such as methods to plant or produce food have been taught by foreigners are valuable to the developments of difficult nations. Volunteers also teach children, who do not have ability to read and write, so that they themselves can change their poor lives by their true talents and make contributions to their countries. It is clear that financial help only supports these nations in short-term period, while they need a long-term plan to prosper without the dependence on financial aid.

In conclusion, even though financial help can make poor nations develop economically, I believe that money is limited. It is better for nations with low quality of life to be equipped with some real tools. As all we know, the prosperity of the nation leans on people and their skills will help to change their country, not because of money from other countries.
frenchfries   
Mar 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / SOLUTIONS ON CLIMATE CHANGE [5]

@Holt
Thank you very much for your comment. I will try next time to do better.
frenchfries   
Mar 24, 2017
Scholarship / 6th NIDA summber camp 2017 on "Sustainable Community Development" In Thailand. [3]

I think many ideas in your essay are good and it contains a bunch of good words.
But you should not open your essay by "we" or "I" cuz they make your essay become personal and the first sentence of the introduction is very popular, I think you should change it.

Plus, I suggest you write your essay including topic sentences. For instance, in body part, you can write the first importance in a paragraph, the second importance in the next paragraph to make those clearer.
frenchfries   
Mar 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / SOLUTIONS ON CLIMATE CHANGE [5]

TOPIC: Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The broad interest issue



Climate change has become an issue of broad interest to the general public. Some people believe that it would be better to devise some solutions to get along well with climate change. From my perspective, finding a wide range of measures to curb this risky phenomenon is more practical.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why it might be considered beneficial to deter climate change. The first reason is taking control on climate change will lead to a better living conditions. As all we know, this dangerous phenomenon may give rise to the shift in temperature and has a detrimental impact on life's quality such as the scorching weather in some areas. Therefore, if citizens minimize the influence of climate change on the Earth, this will contribute to a more ideal place to reside without suffering from its consequences. Another reason is there are a variety of simple measures to fight against this problem. For instance, local residents can cut down on power used on a regular basis or try to utilize public transport. The authority can launch environmental campaigns to boost residents' awareness about using alternative energy in place of non-renewable power. It is not easy to solve climate change instantly, but we can mitigate its negative effects and decrease its increasing speed.

On the other hand, there are numerous downsides when people withstand climate change. The first consequence is inhabitants may confront with the fluctuation in weather and temperature. People can, even though, survive in changing environment, they have to undergo the rigorous weather everyday. There are also various detrimental impacts on people's health and natural environment such as skin cancer, deforestation and the extinction of many species. Living with climate change means that no one try to contend with it. As a result, climate change tend to become worse and worse without any solutions. It is inevitable that living with climate change introduces people a temporary plan, while people needs a permanent plan to deal with the increasing problem.

In conclusion, it is clear to me that we must address the problem of climate change and I disagree with those who argue that we can find ways to live with it.
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