Undergraduate / 'Visionary, honest, oriented' - What five words best describe you? (300 chars or less) [7]

Persistent (encouraged by those who say it can't be done)

Innovative (finding solutions from different angles is my specialty)

Visionary (?)

Honest (knowing my limits)

Goal-oriented (with a drive to accomplish all that I begin)

[223 characters atm]

concerns:

is it okay to format it like this for the stanford application? not complete sentences, parentheses, etc?

"knowing my limits" seems a bit pessimistic

what should i put for "honest"?

anything else? or any changes?

Undergraduate / 'present economic crisis' - common app short answer EC activities [4]

Even though the prompt only says "elaborate," i think what the adcoms really want to see is how you were affected by the activities. If they wanted to only hear about the activity itself, they could read a pamphlet. But, I think most of the description here is necessary b/c you explained why it is unique. I think if you can cut down the word count a bit, you should add a few sentences about how it "developed you." As for ideas as to how to tie that in...did this club allow you to see things in a different light or change the way you view things? Did it fulfill your need to help others? Did it teach you something you didn't know about yourself?

The present economic crisis of the modern world has been linked to the financial irresponsibility of both ignorant institutions and unsuspecting consumers. Only the benefit of early education and practical advice will save future generations from repeating these mistakes of the past . For this reason,Therefore, I, along with several friends and an experienced advisor experienced in finance and business , laid the foundations for a new club. Unlike other organizations, the Finance club would not simply be a special interest group. With a new objective each week, we are wholeheartedly determined to understand the critical issues of smart shopping, taxes, loans, debt, mortgages, credit cards, and businesses. Is there any way you can condense this list? We promote the learningunderstanding of these serious concernsissues with captivating stock investment games and lively discussions, while simultaneously building the financial plansbackground essential to a secure life in an environment of economic uncertainty.

Undergraduate / Moving from Chinatown to So Cal - prompt #1. [6]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

-------------------------

Community:

I want to talk about how moving from a not so ethnically-diverse place (Chinatown) to a more diverse place (somewhere in So Cal) has given me broader sense of the world, and given me ways to look at things from different angles, which will be necessary to become an engineer.

I want to do it in a way that will actually get people genuinely interested, and not just skim through the paper like they do with everyone else's.

Maybe metaphorical and/or third person and/or just unique somehow? Yet professional.

Any suggestions for structure, flow, and/or beginning sentences?

Undergraduate / 'From panic to self-drive' - Stanford's sense of intellectual vitality. [10]

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging. (250-1800 characters)

I started forward, my mouth slightly agape at the scene before me. My eyes widened in horror and I silently screamed, "No, no! It can't end, not like this!" Something had to be done; there was no room for error.

Quickly rewinding the hands of time, I find myself at the beginning of the scene, a time before the now familiar story had shattered into pieces. Meticulously I examine the details. Where had it all gone wrong?

The initial panic ebbs, replaced by obstinacy. I replay the episode, reviewing the tracks, ensuring the perfect synchronization of audio and video. Each transition placed with purpose, each effect intentionally highlighting a certain aspect of the clip. Yet I am not satisfied.

I reach out, gently altering a visual effect here, adding a crossfade there. I replay the scene. Still I am not satisfied.

One may wonder why I spend time creating montages, editing videos that are neither required by my school nor by anyone other than myself. I have taken no class on video editing, driven only by online tutorials and hours of tweaking clips to match the movies of my mind. I enjoy the process of creation as much as publishing the end result, a satisfaction that requires no external incentive.

As my eyes gaze into the darkness of impending death, imminent failure, radical thoughts pace my mind. To scrap even ten seconds of video is to cast away hours of editing. And then, an epiphany. I sigh with gratitude. The computer mouse and my imagination blend into one, and rescue arrives at the scene of the crime. I make the necessary changes. A sense of completion; my duty is done. I call it a wrap and my next project begins.

"Initial panic turns into controlled self-drive." (can someone fix this sentence? i dont like it :/)

Please help me fix this essay, thanks :)

[1468 char]

Undergraduate / the greatest physical challenge of my life - Roommate. [10]

what would you want your roommate--and us--to know about you? tell us something so we can know you better.
(250-1800 char)

Some things have changed since that happy memory. I have now learned that the proper time to step on each pad is when the arrow moves up to the top of the screen, rather than the bottom, which my friends were so kind in pointing out. I have also realized that returning to the center after each move can be disastrous to one's health, and it is best if avoided. Yet one thing hasn't changed, and that is my unique ability to laugh at myself. Interweaving this philosophy into my daily adventures, I have found that life is too short to live without a little self-inflicted humor from time to time. It enhances our lives by eliminating anxiety and allowing growth, for we will always be our fiercest critics.

Perhaps my recent 215 combo is a testament that dancing may not be impossible for me.

[1549 char]

Comments: I don't really like the last two sentences. Any suggestions?

Note: I want to keep the sarcastic tone in the last paragraph, and keep it light and funny, and "not bitter" throughout.

And of course, please critique, rip it apart, whatever you'd like. Thanks in advance! :)

Undergraduate / Favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists - supplement questions [2]

name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists. (300 characters)

Crime and Punishment- breaking conventional stereotypes
The Grapes of Wrath- hope in humanity despite struggle and disillusionment
C.S. Lewis and the Chronicles of Narnia
Apollo 13- true film of a NASA mission that developed severe problems, and of the men that rescued it with faith, skill, and dedication.

What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy? (300)

Facebook- to build connections that last for a lifetime
Youtube- a vehicle to express individual creativity
Virtual Stock Exchange- practice investing in real-time environments
Role playing games (MMORPG's)- to relax and escape from reality once in awhile; fuels the imagination

Instead of listing off every title I could think of, I decided to list a few and try to say its importance to me. While being honest. But the way I did it, it just doesn't seem professional to me, and acceptable for a college application. Is it just me, or is there another way I should do this?

I would love to put it in sentence form but I can't think of a way to "glue" all these random parts together.

The prompt doesn't give a required form but i want it to sound acceptable (ivy league level).

Grammar, Usage / I am talking about something that occurred in the past, over 5-10 years. [6]

I am talking about something that occurred in the past, over 5-10 years.

"The team may have lost , but I had still played well."

or

"The team may have had lost , but I had still played well."

or

"The team might have lost , but I had still played well."

or

"The team might have had lost , but I had still played well."

or something else?

Sorry I'm bad at this. Thanks in advance!