sobin
Oct 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / ielts : How does position of women influence society? [2]
hi friends,
thanks a lot for your patience.please give me feedback about this essay n about the band score,which i may achieve in my ielts exam.once again thanks a lot for your patience n time.
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Task-1:-
the table shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
A:-The graph reveals a clear picture of total numbers for jailed prisoners in five countries between 1930 and 1980.The chart compares the figures of imprisonment among Great Britain,Australia,New Zealand,United states and Canada.
In general,United states and Canada showed highest figures of imprisonment among all these countries.Specifically,United States recorded highest number of 140,000 in 1980,rather than the imprisonment rates of other countries.Meanwhile,imprisonment figures in Great Britain were increasing gradually to its peak level of eighty thousand in 1980 from its thirty thousand in 1930.
Despite,the sixty thousand in 1940,the number were showing a gradual increase in Australia.In contrast,New Zealand recorded the least number of imprisonment in 1980,which were only 50,000.Obviously,in New Zealand imprisonment rates were higher in previous decades than 1980s.
In a nutshell,the chart provides information about the growing numbers of crime in most of the developed countries.On the other hand,the graph gives the results of the government initiatives to tackle crime in their countries.
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task-2:-
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years.Many of the problems young people now experience,such as juvenile delinquency,arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
To what extent do you agree or dis agree with this opinion?
A:-Nowadays,most of the countries have tried to provide equal opportunities right to both women and men.Indeed,the human rights have changed the roles and responsibilities of women in the society.However,some people think the new problems ,which are faced by young generations are related to the changes of roles and responsibilities of women in the society.On the other hand, some other argue about the need for a change.In fact,both of these views have its own advantages and dis advantages.
In general,women have great roles and responsibilities in the motivation of moral and social behaviour of her children.Moreover,mothers are considered as good teachers for their children by the society.Obviously,a mother,who is busy with her job,will lack time to develop her children's behaviours.Eventually,these young people may experience various problems in their social and personal life.Recent riots and looting in Great Britain,for instance,showed the lack of moral values among youngsters.Furthermore,these values are taught by others.
On the other hand,all human beings have their own right to expose themselves.Apart from this,recent rules and regulations help women to enjoy their freedom.Nonetheless,these laws give respect to women in the society.For example,these rights have brought many successful female leader in the world.Specifically,Ms.Margret Thatcher from Great Britain was one of the greatest prime ministers of that country.
In a nutshell, women need equal opportunity and respect in the society.Recent changes have brought remarkable position for women in the society.However,they should manage to take care of their children and other responsibilities equally with their job.Therefore, I dis agree with this statement.
hi friends,
thanks a lot for your patience.please give me feedback about this essay n about the band score,which i may achieve in my ielts exam.once again thanks a lot for your patience n time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------
Task-1:-
the table shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
A:-The graph reveals a clear picture of total numbers for jailed prisoners in five countries between 1930 and 1980.The chart compares the figures of imprisonment among Great Britain,Australia,New Zealand,United states and Canada.
In general,United states and Canada showed highest figures of imprisonment among all these countries.Specifically,United States recorded highest number of 140,000 in 1980,rather than the imprisonment rates of other countries.Meanwhile,imprisonment figures in Great Britain were increasing gradually to its peak level of eighty thousand in 1980 from its thirty thousand in 1930.
Despite,the sixty thousand in 1940,the number were showing a gradual increase in Australia.In contrast,New Zealand recorded the least number of imprisonment in 1980,which were only 50,000.Obviously,in New Zealand imprisonment rates were higher in previous decades than 1980s.
In a nutshell,the chart provides information about the growing numbers of crime in most of the developed countries.On the other hand,the graph gives the results of the government initiatives to tackle crime in their countries.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
task-2:-
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years.Many of the problems young people now experience,such as juvenile delinquency,arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.
To what extent do you agree or dis agree with this opinion?
A:-Nowadays,most of the countries have tried to provide equal opportunities right to both women and men.Indeed,the human rights have changed the roles and responsibilities of women in the society.However,some people think the new problems ,which are faced by young generations are related to the changes of roles and responsibilities of women in the society.On the other hand, some other argue about the need for a change.In fact,both of these views have its own advantages and dis advantages.
In general,women have great roles and responsibilities in the motivation of moral and social behaviour of her children.Moreover,mothers are considered as good teachers for their children by the society.Obviously,a mother,who is busy with her job,will lack time to develop her children's behaviours.Eventually,these young people may experience various problems in their social and personal life.Recent riots and looting in Great Britain,for instance,showed the lack of moral values among youngsters.Furthermore,these values are taught by others.
On the other hand,all human beings have their own right to expose themselves.Apart from this,recent rules and regulations help women to enjoy their freedom.Nonetheless,these laws give respect to women in the society.For example,these rights have brought many successful female leader in the world.Specifically,Ms.Margret Thatcher from Great Britain was one of the greatest prime ministers of that country.
In a nutshell, women need equal opportunity and respect in the society.Recent changes have brought remarkable position for women in the society.However,they should manage to take care of their children and other responsibilities equally with their job.Therefore, I dis agree with this statement.