Undergraduate / Emotional essay vs. Light hearted essay! [7]

Ok, I am anything but funny so I hope my attempt at doing this won't fail as bad.
Kevin said my writings has too many modifiers so when I wrote my second essay, I tried not to use adjectives and adverbs unless it was necessary. I came to the US for four years yet I still write essays like I would in Vietnamese (people there they put as many adjective as possible).

Please read my "sad" one first and then the light hearted one:
"There was a God somewhere watching over us" -an experience that changed your life.

Both has the same story line but completely opposite tones to it.
Don't worry about the grammar for the second one because I scribbled it while waiting at the bus stop.

Father forgot to pay the rent, again; I frowned when I saw our suitcases beside the locked door. I soon discovered that our possessions decreased every time it happened. I guess Father was sick of carrying all the tables and chairs wherever we went. But he didn't throw out my animal figures though. I promised him that I would carry my own toys.

Deep in thought like an old man, I was soon distracted by our neighborhood's cat. As proud as a little tiger, she marched down the empty corridor. I counted one, two in my head, synchronized with her every step. I wondered if animals could understand music.

Father took my hand, his other arm carried our luggage. I dug into my red book bag and pulled out a dog figure. Shaking my head, I dropped it back in and took out another one. It was a dragon, so I kept digging. I felt the long and thin tail with the tips of my fingers; I grabbed the thing. A mouse, that was what I had been looking for. I smiled, fascinated by the little plastic creature. Why the mouse always win in Tom and Jerry?

I shivered when we stepped outside; it was colder than usual. The vestige of the evening storm moistened the October air. Father handed me my little jacket, and I found two holes under its sleeves. Skipping along the wet pavement, I hummed to the Happy Birthday song that was playing in the distance. I remembered the toy flute that Father bought for my sixth birthday, but nothing came out of those seven holes when I tried to blow into them. In the end, Father decided to throw the thing away. Only pure acid could sanitize the pool of spit inside the pipe. "For the sake of our environment," he chuckled.

We passed by a house had its window open. Cai luong was blasting in maxed out volume- the worst kind of music that sounded like a broken violin and shrieked like a suffocated fish and the lyrics reminded me of the funeral home. But old folks like my Father seemed to like it even though I could never understand. Why not Twinkle, twinkle little star?

"Father," I whimpered. "My tummy hurts." I stopped walking and stomped my feet on the ground as any six year old would.

He smiled and took me to the bread stand nearby. He counted every last coin in his pocket. The store keeper complained about the pennies Father handed him, so I stuck my tongue at the guy before we left. Father broke off the the hard side of the bread and gave me the rest. I devoured the thing within seconds, still craving for more. But I knew better than to ask.

"Can we please sleep on the bench in the park tonight?" I asked with my glittering eyes.

I saw Father's eyes turn red so I stopped, thinking I did something wrong. He rubbed my head and nodded. I felt the excitement and couldn't wait to tell all my friends in school about our new adventure. As we sat under the big pine tree, I sang "Twinkle twinkle little star". Father just sat there and smiled. I stared at his odd expression, trying to figure out who my Father really was. Sometimes I couldn't understand his eyes, the eyes that carried such depravity and burden. I knew he was far from perfect. I was mad at the time he scolded me because I didn't brush my teeth, or the time he told me to stop picking my nose. But it was all because of that smile that enabled me to enjoy my childhood. Oh, and my animal figures too. Who needs five star hotels when we could see millions of stars under this big black sky. And taking a bath was definitely overrated.

Undergraduate / "ephemeral" - Favorite word essay -UVA 250 words [8]

I took a different approach to the essay, do you think it will work? Is it too unclear about what is my favorite word? I tried my best too reveal as much info as possible without changing the writing style.

And I absolutely hate the ending. Please help me improve it. Thank you :)

Dear Mother,
Do not tell me that you will love me always, because such word does not exist. For eternity, I have been waiting for the everlasting to come, but I see nothing, just empty promises. Your ephemeral passion is like a fire in a vacant room, like a vortex that sucked away my every hope that one day you will change. You told me that everything in this world will fade away, just like my ephemeral dreams have long gone. I was foolish not to grasp on the reality that you, will not change.

It took me years to realize that what I have always believe in will disappear, just like your love. You left me to chase after your delusion, to chase after the land of opportunity. You took away everything, but left one lie, the fabrication that haunted my dream like a ghost: "One day you will understand".

Did you know my best friend Jimmy passed away? Yes, I was the last one to see him, the last one to watch his suffering, the last one to witness him shatter our ephemeral friendship.

Do not be angry at me for my pessimistic perspective about the world. Because for ten years that you abandon Father and I to go to America, I have learned that sorrow is also momentary. We were homeless. We were hungry and thirsty. However, the darkness had fled away. We have won over our fate.

I cannot wait for the day to tell you that "ephemeral" is not always negative. It taught me how to be a person in the world that full of irony.

Your son.

Undergraduate / The reason I hate my elementary teacher? - Virginia Tech question [7]

Ok, the title is very misleading, but this is my response to Virginia Tech question: Which current teacher or previous teacher that influenced you and why? First draft and i didn't spend a lot of time on it so i expect to have a lot of grammatical errors. Please read over and tell me what you think, did i answer the prompt?

I hate the way her right hand moved so gracefully across the blackboard and her fingers tucked the silky strands of hair behind her ear. The sound of chalk tap in rhythm against the smooth surface tempted me to put my head down and forget about the reality, but I hated it when her soft voice would call me back from boredom and forced my interest into algebra. Has math always been this pleasant?

I hated it when I accidentally called my teacher "Mom". Her gentle hands always assured me that everything is alright when my own mother wasn't there to wipe away my tears. The way her almond eyes looked at me- explaining why the eye is the window of the soul, telling me that life is much more than one plus one- there was nothing I could despise more. I never understood the reason she expected someone like me to become perfect. No. Not me. I can never become perfect.

I forgot about the time when she shared her food when Dad was too busy to pack my lunch, and her expression when I praised how awfully good it was. I hate the reason why I was still alive, the reason I did not use drugs, the reason that I am sitting here and thinking about my future.

But no, the person that expected me to become a great doctor, expected me to know right from wrong, expected me to do one plus one, an elementary math teacher had made me realized that hatred does not exist.