Unanswered [56] | Urgent [1]

Posts by collegebound28
Joined: Oct 20, 2010
Last Post: Oct 26, 2016
Threads: 13
Posts: 22  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 35
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Oct 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Every student should be encouraged, regardless his achivement [2]

... improvement related to their academic history are the ones who should be rewarded.

I firmly believe their is an argument to be made that both groups of students should be rewarded for their efforts, regardless whether they show high academic results or improvement.

... student gets first rank in class and then the teachers give them a present, it will encourage students to continue their hard work in class.

This matter will encourage them (...) be as smart as another student if they strive for it.

... but they try to change it through hard work, teachers should also appreciate them.
... about the progress that students make.
Oct 26, 2016
Letters / Cover Letter for Resedential Volunteer ( Farmer- Chef) at Heifer International Farm [2]

To Whom it May Concern:

I was excited to see available openings for residential volunteers, and I hope to be invited for an interview.

My background includes working as a as an ESL teacher and as a museum intern. Most recently, I was part of the English Opens Doors program, where I taught ESL to vulnerable municipal school students in Chile. My responsibilities in the classroom included independently working with groups of up to 25 students, ranging in age from 14 to 18.I also worked both collaboratively with the English department, and independently to plan and carry out lessons. Outside the classroom, I developed and carried out extra-curricular activities for after school English Club.

Previously, I worked as an interpretation intern at Old Sturbridge Village. My responsibilities included engaging visitors, responding to visitor questions and carrying out daily garden, laundry, cooking and cheese making demonstrations. In these positions, I demonstrated the ability to engage a public audience of many different age groups and knowledge levels. I also gained skills in hearth cooking, cheese making and working in both flower and vegetable gardens.

In addition to this experience, I gained considerable customer service skills during my previous employment as a receptionist for F.W. Sims.

I also bring to the table language skills in French and Spanish as well as a B.A. in International Relations. Please see my accompanying resume for details of my experience and education.
Sep 30, 2016
Undergraduate / Peace Corps Motivation Statement- Reasons for Joining and Dealing with Challenges [NEW]

Peace Corps service presents major physical, emotional, and intellectual challenges. In the space below, please provide a few paragraphs explaining your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer and how you plan to overcome the various challenges associated with Peace Corps service.

(up to 500 words).

When one volunteers abroad the changes take place so fast there's almost no time to catch your breath. One day you're a volunteer in an orientation, living in a bubble of English speakers. A week later you're standing in front of 23 Chilean high-school students, in a Spanish speaking community and living in a home with no English speakers. My desire to be a teacher in the Peace Corps was formed somewhere between these two extremes. The joy of teaching is in watching people grow and having the privilege to be part of that growth.

The most important reason I would like to volunteer with the peace corps is that I enjoy being a teacher and working with students. My Chilean students attended a low performing municipal school that lacked basic supplies like toilet paper, where class sizes averaged 40 students. To watch those students blossom in the classroom despite their challenges at home and at school is a privilege.

If the highs of teaching are higher, then the lows are even lower. Many of my students in Chile disliked not only English but school in general. Classroom management was consistently one of my biggest challenges in addition to the language barrier and the lack of central heating. Working with teenagers requires resiliency. There were many difficult classes, lessons that didn't work the way I wanted them to or days where I came home exhausted and demoralized but still had to get out of bed the next morning and bring a positive attitude and energy to my classes. Being a teacher means being flexible and adaptable; a lesson that I spent hours planning might be canceled because of a school assembly or that projector that I counted on having for my class might not be available. A positive attitude, flexibility and the ability to withstand challenges are as necessary to a teacher as chalkboards and books.
Sep 30, 2016
Undergraduate / Peace Corps Resume Help with clarity, Spelling/Grammar and proofreading. [2]

Hi, I am applying to the Peace Corps for education and it would be great if another set of eyes could check my resume over for clarity as well as spelling/grammar! Thanks so Much!


English Opens Doors Los Lagos, Chile
Volunteer ESL Teacher
April 18 2016 - November 26, 2016 | 35 hours per week

Planned and taught ESL to students ages 14 to 18, emphasizing speaking and listening.

Managed classes ranging from 10 to 23 students with a variety of English levels.

Engaged students through interactive classroom activities to increase both student motivation as well as speaking and listening skills.

Developed and implemented activities for after-school English Club to engage students outside the classroom.

Worked with a Chilean teachers network to develop English activities in the community.


French: Fluent

Relevant Coursework:

201 Intermediate French I
202 Intermediate French II
300 Practical Oral Expression
300 Practical Written Expression
300 French Grammar
300 Study of Contemporary French Life
300 Study of Literary Texts
301 French Comp and Conversation
302 French Comp and Conversation II
376 French Literature after 1800
400 Practice Of Creative Writing


Spent eight months living with a Chilean host family, in a Spanish speaking community with few English speakers.


State University of New York at New Paltz New Paltz, NY
August 2011 - May 2015
B.A. International Relations

Center for Applied Linguistics Besançon, France
September 2014 - December 2014
Study Abroad: Courses in French society, culture and language.


Bideawee Animal Shelter Wantagh, NY
Animal Care Volunteer
May 2013-August 2013 | 40 hours per week during Summer

Carried out daily maintenance tasks to ensure cleanliness of the kennel.

Adhered to health and safety standards to ensure health and well being of the kennel.

Old Sturbridge Village Museum Sturbridge, Massachusetts
Museum Education
June 2016-August 2016 | 40 hours per week

Created an interesting and exciting environment for visitors to learn about 19th century life.

Responded to visitor questions about demonstrations and exhibit space.

Work in village farm gardens and carry out weekly cheese-making demonstrations.


F.W. Sims HVAC Contractors
Administrative Assistant
September 2015 - April 2016 | 40 hours per week

Using excellent grammar and spelling skills to type communications with customers and vendors.

Multitasking in a fast paced environment to carry out general office work and provide support to other departments.

Responsible for stocking office supplies and organizing materials to be sent to field sites.





Sep 15, 2015
Undergraduate / Motivation for becoming an effective teacher in Chile [2]

Describe your academic, professional, and personal background, and how your experiences will make you an effective teacher inChile.

As an undergraduate majoring in International Relations, the area of study that attracted me the most was economic development. As someone interested in having a career in economic development, it is important to have hands-on experience working in a developing country, particularly in education. I would eventually like to join the Peace Corps as an English language teacher and I feel that EODP will give me experience that I can carry with me into the Peace Corps. Fluency in another language provides academic and professional opportunities; learning another language not only allows one to experience another culture, but the chance to connect with others across the world. Studying a foreign language allowed me to form friendships with people all over the world; I would like to help students in the developing world do the same. I am excited to give students the chance to learn English from a native speaker; having had the opportunity to be immersed in a language I would like to give that opportunity to someone else. I was fortunate enough to be able to travel and immerse myself in the culture and language, but it is not possible for every student to have this advantage; through the English Opens Doors Program, I could give students a chance to experience learning another language from a native speaker and to learn about another culture without having to travel abroad. On a more personal level, I struggled to learn French and it was only through the patience and perseverance of my teachers that I was able to learn as much as I did. I would like to give that same opportunity to a student in a developing country. Furthermore, in a globalized world the best way to foster understanding between people, is through the sharing of cultures and languages.
Sep 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Just laws and unjust laws : GRE Issue task [2]

we should backward strictly seek a reflection on how just and unjust law can be determined We should look backward into history, strictly to reflect on how just and unjust laws can be determined.

On the other hand, the definition of just an unjust laws shows us one of the difficulties with the idea of civil disobedience of unjust law. The definition of an unjust laws shows us one of the difficulties with the idea of disobedience of unjust laws.
Sep 2, 2015
Undergraduate / Teaching English in Chile Essay #2 [2]

Describe your academic, professional, and personal background, and how your experiences will make you an effective teacher in Chile. *

As someone from a small town in New York, I have always been interested in the wider world, especially in other cultures and societies. As an undergraduate this led me to major in International Relations; through international relations is a varied field, including everything from diplomacy to international security to economics, the area of study that interested me most was in the field of development economics. My aspiration is to to join the Peace Corp and then eventually to work in the field of development. Learning another language is a vital part of studying International relations;I began studying French in middle school and continued through my undergraduate years.While other students seemed easily grasp the grammar, I struggled to memorize verbs and tenses. The patience and persistence of my professor and teachers was the determining factor in achieving fluency. Having spent 10 years learning a language, I understand how difficult it is to learn a foreign language. I feel that because I have gone through the process of learning a foreign language myself, I will be better able to understand and aid my students as they learn English. Working in a museum as costumed interpreter is good preparation for working in a classroom; you quickly learn to hold the attention of the room, while trying simultaneously entertain and inform. As an costumed interpreter, you get people of all ages, nationalities and varying degrees of historical knowledge; learning to adapt yourself to your audience is a skill that is useful as a museum interpreter and as a teacher. I feel that my time as a student abroad has given me the tools to successfully interact in cross cultural situations. A majority of my fellow students came from around the world; working and learning in that environment teaches you to become more flexible and adaptive.
Sep 2, 2015
Undergraduate / For outsiders, learning local norms and rules of polite behavior is a process filled with pitfalls [2]

Describe your history of cross-cultural experiences, and your general ability to adapt and adjust to new situations. Please include at least one specific example of when you had to overcome a challenge in this context.

Study abroad forces one to quickly adjust to new customs and ways of life; as my first experience outside of the united states, my study abroad experience in France gave me the chance to test my ability to adapt and adjust to new situations, .The challenge of adapting to a new culture is in learning the nuances that cannot be found in a book. Learning to adjust to a new culture can often be difficult, as what is polite and acceptable in one society is rude in another and the embarrassment of having caused offense, even accidentally, is not pleasant. People within a culture have a tacit understanding of the norms and rules of polite behavior; for outsiders though learning these rules and norms is a process filled with pitfalls. In the United States for example, it is acceptable to ask for something in a store without having first greeted the store clerk, and please and thank you are polite, but not essential. In France, to do so is not only extremely rude but also comes across as insulting. As an American, I often had to remind myself of these norms; to slow down and to greet people. More personally, a particular example that stands out to me was an incident in which, in a rush while in a shop, I caused accidentally offense. Needing to get through the store quickly in order to get back to class, I failed to greet the store clerk, and used the familiar Tu rather than the polite and more formal Vous. I could tell that I had insulted the store clerk, albeit accidentally. Sometimes these uncomfortable experiences are the best way to learn a culture;by making mistakes and learning from them, it is possible to learn the nuances of another culture that members of that culture implicitly accept and understand.
Mar 9, 2015
Undergraduate / 19th century novels, knitting patterns from the 1930s; Applicant Statement for Living History Museum [2]

in 500 words or less state why you wish to participate and why you feel this internship will be beneficial to you.

I am writing in response to the summer interpretation internship at Old Sturbridge Village. Since childhood I have been fascinated by history; whether by reading 19th century novels or reproducing knitting patterns from the 1930's, preserving and reproducing the cultural history of the United States has always been of interest to me. Old Sturbridge Village is one of the most accurate and elaborate recreations of 19th century American life on the east coast. Being part of such an experience would fulfill a lifelong dream of working in a living history museum.

In a living history museum setting I believe I have much to contribute. I have experience working with animals, both in a museum setting and in an animal shelter. While my specialty is not in American History, studying international relations has given me a broad understanding of world history in such diverse areas as Latin America and Africa. Having spent a semester in France as a study abroad student, I have learned to work well under pressure and to be adaptable.

I believe that this program would be beneficial to me. By understanding one's own cultural and historical development, it is possible to better understand the world as it exists today. I would also like to work in the field of development. I feel that by understanding the modes of existence before the industrial revolution, and the changed that occurred after, I would be better prepared to do work in parts of the world that have not yet undergone the historical changes that occurred in the developed world in the 19th and 20th century.
Mar 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / Should wealthy nations be required to share among poorer; education and food - government [7]

You need to consider other sides of the argument and say why they're wrong not just state your own opinion. For instance underdeveloped nations are sources of political instability, terrorism and illicit activities such as human trafficking. Isn't it in the interest of developed nations to to support developing countries, in order to relieve some of these ills that effect both developed and developing countries? Another idea to consider; many underdeveloped nations were once colonies of first world nations. What do developed countries owe developing nations for this brutal and exploitative period in history? There are also moral arguments to be made; can people in developing countries live comfortable lives as so much of the planet lives in abject poverty? Also you use Africa and Nigeria as examples; this is redundant as Nigeria is in Africa.
Mar 29, 2014
Research Papers / Researched response paper about a particular topic for ex. dementia and eating difficulty [5]

I think what he want is research paper not a response paper. A response paper usually involves talking about a specific text. You should contact your professor to clarify the nature of the paper. In a research paper you must look for sources such as books, journals and scholarly papers to provide evidence for what your saying in the paper, also you can and should use quotes from these sources to help clarify and provide support in your discussion of the topic. It is very important when you write a paper like this to cite when using quotes or other information from outside sources, in order to avoid plagiarism. You should also avoid using I, me, you and other personal pronouns in this kind of paper- this is not a discussion of how you personally feel about the topic. Again I would highly suggest that you talk to your professor about what kind of paper he would like you to write; response and research papers are very different.
Mar 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / food security / sustainability assignment; scenario [2]

An interesting way to look at this might be to look into urban agriculture; people in cities are looking for locally grown, organic and sustainably grown food and have started looking to community gardens and backyard agriculture to meet this need. I don't know much about the situation in Australia, but in the U.S. ( in places like Detroit) what was once urban blight ( abandoned buildings, former industrial areas) is being re-purposed as farm land. Also a discussion on the sustainability of industrialized agriculture could be useful as a comparison to smaller, more local sources of food like community gardens. Farm projects, where community members either pay with money or labor in exchange for produce have become popular. Questions to think about: how does this issue effect small farmers? Urbanites? Traditional large scale agricultural corporations? Local and state governments? Rural people? Food security and sustainability are also class issues- people in the inner city often lack access to healthy food and are dependent on processed foods, while the wealthy can afford organic, locally grown food through farmers markets and health food stores.
Mar 29, 2014
Undergraduate / Study Abroad Essay- Study Statement; As a person of French descent... [4]

Looking for some feedback on a study abroad essay: " Type a one to two paged, double spaced statement on your proposed program of study abroad and how it will be related to your present academic program. Also describe the personal benefits you expect to receive from the program."

As international relations major study abroad provides a host of benefits both academically and on a personal level. I feel that study abroad in France could not only enrich my academic program but could provide personal benefits as well. By studying abroad in France I hope to experience another culture and to improve my language skills.

I would like to study abroad in Besacon , France for the Fall 2015 Semester. As an international relations major, experience abroad is an important part of my academic program for two reasons. The first is language; a second language is necessary to work and study within the international relations field. Study abroad is the best way to improve language skills through interacting with native speakers and being immersed in that language. Although language classes are extremely helpful there is no replacement for immersion; I feel I am ready to take the next step in order to improve my fluency. Experience living abroad is also valuable in that it provides valuable interaction with other cultures; as a student of international relations the ability to successfully interact within other cultures is vital to future success in the international relations field.

By experiencing another culture and being placed outside one's zone, study abroad can allow one to grow as an individual. By studying abroad in France I hope to be able to not only learn about another culture, but to gain perspective on my culture. As a person of French descent, I'm interested in connecting with my heritage and learning more about where my family comes from. Knowing your heritage is an important part of identity and by studying abroad, I will be able to explore that part of my identity.
Mar 29, 2014
Essays / Turkey Scholarship candidate - subject choice [4]

These are very personal questions ( This site is for, spelling/grammar assistance and ideas help, not people writing your essay for you) you need to think why you want to go to Turkey, what do you plan on getting out of it? How does this advance your career goals? Pretty straight forward stuff, so I'm not sure how much anyone can help you with this.
Mar 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / 'various viewpoints' Extreme sports should be banned or not? [5]

As far as people who are against ultimate sports I think you can expand a little on that idea; while I'm sure there are some sports that are a threat to public security there is another element to this. What does it say about our society that we enjoy watching people perform actions that could leave them severely injured or even dead? Think about the Roman coliseums; today we think its abhorrent that the Romans participated in blood sports ( I.e. watching people killed/ injured for entertainment). But are extreme sports today very different? I also think it might be a good idea to expand on this idea of limitations for extreme sports; how can this be done- through lawmakers? Encouraging sports organizations to put in place safety measures voluntarily? Another idea you could discuss is how do we define an extreme sport. Football has important health implications for people who participate even with safety equipment; you might want to do some research on brain injuries in football.
May 5, 2013
Essays / "Mill says" - Where to get started [4]

Essay Thesis- Defending John Stuart Mill

Ok this is the assignment: Utilitarian thought is often employed as a way of avoiding some of the problematic metaphysical assumptions usually thought necessary to liberalism. Do you find John Stuart Mill's attempts to avoid these metaphysical problems in On Liberty to be successful? Does he have a viable political philosophy?

Thesis: Thesis: In the text " On Liberty" John Stuart Mill successfully vindicates liberal tenants on the nature of the atomistic self and one's relationship to society. But in contrast to classical liberalism, he rejects the metaphysical assumptions that liberal thought rests on. In doing so, Mill creates a viable political philosophy, without the need for tenuous metaphysical assumptions.
Sep 17, 2011
Essays / John Burroughs, Wendell Berry or Henry David Thoreau, English Essay causes of place [2]

" write an essay in the manner of one of the following writers: John Burroughs, Wendell Berry or Henry David Thoreau. choose a place you know well, and explore aspects and causes of that place following the style, tone and procedure of one of the authors above. You must include concrete particulars and local details that define a unique sense of whatever place you write about."

Help IM SO STUCK!!!! any ideas about what i should write about and/or what this teacher wants?
Sep 17, 2011
Essays / Pros & cons of separation vs. divorce (input on the subject) [14]

I would argue that you should try to represent both points of view benefits of divorce versus benefits of staying together. also the comedy thing is not really going to work because honestly divorce just isn't all that funny.
Sep 11, 2011
Student Talk / French Essay- needs refinement especially on grammar [4]

" write a paper on an important trip you will take one paragraph in the future tense and one in the conditional."

Le prochain voyagerai important j'irai est a chez me grandparents en Missouri. Une fois un an j'allais en general a la printemps ou l'ete. Je visitais tout de ma famille.

J'irai sur voyagerai important avec me petite souer. J'irai sur voyagerai important a la printemps ou l'ete. Je pourrai aller par voiture ou par avion. Premiere J'irai a la reunion de ma famill. Nous aurons la grand fete avec beaucoup des bouffe. Aussi J'irai alle au beacuop des musees. J'irai alle au ville musee d'histoire ou le musee d'art.

Si j'aurais les argent et beaucoup des temps, j'rais la Russie. J'adore le histoire de Russie.Je voudrais voir tout lieux historiques. Si j'irais sur cette voyage , j'irais avec etudier a l'etranger ou avec ma famille. Sur cette voyage, je visiterais la ville capitale et je voudrais voir Carre Rouge.

Je prefere voyage tres loin. je prefere aussi la ville par rapport au la campagne. Quel est plus important a moi est je dois noter espirit ouvert.
Sep 11, 2011
Undergraduate / tufts supplement: consider the world within [2]

I really like this. At first i didn't understand the point of the charlie brown reference but when it concluded i understood the real point of this. especially the part about your inner frieda!!!
Nov 20, 2010
Undergraduate / "I could reach the top of any mountain" - a significant experience, achievement, risk [3]

The incline is a mile long trail that gains 2000 feet -a giant set of stairs inching its way up the side of a mountain. From where I stood the incline looked like a snake curling its way up the side of the mountain. My nerve almost deserted me; it looked impossible, how could anyone climb all those steps? At first it was easy; at 5 A.M. the summer air was still cool and it was almost peaceful to climb the beautiful trail surrounded by tall trees, boulders and wild flowers. The sun came out; the air became hotter and hotter; I was out of breath and dripping sweat. Every step I took hurt and I could see that other people were out of breath and struggling. I learned to move one step at a time, rest for a split second but to keep myself moving. There came a point where my lungs burned, I was poring sweat and my feet ached- I desperately wanted to stop, to give up right there. But I realized that there was no going back because I was too far up- there was nowhere to go but to the top. I looked back and my stomach heaved, my palms became sweaty- I had never been up so far before. I could see Colorado spread out before me; the little towns of Colorado Springs and Manitou, the mountains that surround them. I could just see the top, but I didn't change my pace- one slow step after another. My heart was pounding but I had done it - I had reached the top of the incline. When I sat down and surveyed the world in miniature below me. I realized that climbing the incline was just like life; it is hard, but moving slowly and one step at a time, I could do it. I could reach the top of any mountain.
Nov 11, 2010
Essays / "a conflict between a parent and yourself" I am having difficult time with prompt! [3]

" choose a situation in your your life that depicts a conflict between a parent and yourself. Analyze the sources of the conflict and explain how the conflict contributes to the meaning of your life"

I am so confused with this essay, can anyone give me some tips or ideas on how to start or maybe some ideas on how to go about writing it?
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "French club" - briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities [5]

briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities. Can you give feedback?

French club encouraged me not only to look at French as a language but at the culture and society around it. The French club researches holiday traditions and learns to make French holiday food such as crępes; this helped me not just learn a language but to make a connection with a culture and a people. Another component of French club is our study of French impressionist artists, culminating in a trip to the Museum of Modern Art. Studying these artists and seeing their work inspired my desire to learn the French because the Impressionist art is a tangible embodiment of the beauty of the language.
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "I am a novice to this country" - VCU Essay.... what is unique about me [6]

Oh My! Love the topic! The topic is so unique that with with some polishing this essay will definantly catch an admissions officers eye. There are a few grammatical errors. Instead of saying "and a little knowledge of broken English sentences" why not say- speaking only broken English- instead of saying youngster why not say young person or young adult?
Nov 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "story about the wife of Jamadagni Rishi" - my essay about myself [6]

Its very interesting and I love the title becuase it really catches your eye. The only issue I see with it is that it gets a little confusing at times. "Actually wife of Jamadagni Rishi means Renuga Devy" , dosent really make sense to me. There are also a few spelling / grammatical errors - "Yeah that my name !" But otherwise this is a great topic and like I said the title really catches your eye!
Oct 20, 2010
Undergraduate / "French club" - briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities [5]

I wasn't sure what they meant on the common application could you tell me if I am on the right track?

French Club

One of my extracurricular activities is French club. French club acts as a supplement to the regular French courses I am currently taking; we participate in variety of activities, mainly focusing on French culture. During the Christmas season French club members research how the holidays are celebrated in France and work with Home Economics students to prepare French holiday foods. Club members take a yearly trip to a French restaurant as part of a study of French cuisine. French club also learns about French art by taking a trip to the Museum of Modern Art, in order to view Impressionist period art, which is also a component of the regular advanced French curriculum. French club raises money for its activities by selling items of clothing such as T-shirts and jackets to the rest of the student body.
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