Undergraduate / "My new home; volunteering" - Johns Hopkins supplement [2]

A Typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?

This is my second try at this essay and I could use help with it. please comment on it an tell me whether it answers the prompt or not and whether you like it. Thank you for your help and if you need help just ask.

Volunteering is a part of my life that I have cherished since I was a small child and is something I plan on continuing at Johns Hopkins University. I learned the importance of volunteering from the volunteers who came to Albania from different parts of the world. They showed compassion and carrying by offering their help to people they had never met or knew anything about and in a country that at the time was unstable. They risked their lives to help people and this inspired me to do the same. Their actions inspired me to begin volunteering at the hospital. The more time I spent at the hospital the more I realized that it was a paradox. There was suffering and death all around it but the hospital was where miracles happened every day. I became accustomed to it and loved coming every day. I learned how to things that I never imagined I could do. The hospital also helped me find what many search for all their life, my calling. When I saw the neurosurgeon on my unit I knew I was destined to become a neurosurgeon so that I could help people like my grandmother who had a tumor. I now have grown up and my time is running out at this hospital but I know that as I move on to college I will continue to volunteer at the hospitals. Johns Hopkins Hospital will be my new home and as Dorothy said "there is no place like home."

Undergraduate / "My second family NHS" - University of Michigan [3]

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Any suggestions are welcomed. If you need me to look at your essay just ask. Thank you.

"Welcome our new inductees who have shown leadership, scholarship, service, and character," said the speaker and in an instant two hundred students began to cheer because finally we were part of National Honors society. This is not simple high school club but is a diverse family with members from Albania, America, Mexico, Romania, China, Japan, and Africa. This is a family who accepts all races, religions, and backgrounds and celebrates them all. It is diverse group held together by our simple desire to help others and our commitment to academic excellence. My role in the NHS family is that of a big brother because of my being on the Executive Board of NHS. I help the members when they have inquiries, problems, or simply need someone to talk to. As an executive board member I have helped plan fundraisers like bake sale and bottle drive and have also volunteered in them. I have always found a joy in helping others and NHS has allowed me to do that and much more. NHS has offered free tutoring to students and I have found that teaching my fellow students is something that I really enjoy and may someday pursue. The National Honors Society is my family and I am only a small part of it. I may have only two real siblings but because of this group, no family, I feel as if I have two-hundred brothers and sisters who cannot be replaced and the experiences we have had will never be forgotten.

Undergraduate / "my new home to better the community" - Johns Hopkins supplement- [2]

A Typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?

Please give any suggestions that can help me make it better. Any suggestions are welcomed. Thank you for your help and if you need me to read yours just ask.

As undergraduate of Johns Hopkins University I will be presented with countless new opportunities that I will fully take advantage of. School will be my number one priority but it will not be my only one. I will be in new city but I will be as active if not more active then I am now at home. I plan on volunteering at Johns Hopkins Hospital because I have always had a desire to help others and hospitals give me that chance. I can help patients who cannot help themselves and the feeling you get from this is something that simply cannot be described. You know you are making a difference in someone's life for the better. Helping others is just my way of showing that I am human and that I do care about my fellow man. Volunteering does not only help the patients but also helps the volunteer because as Mohandas Gandhi said "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." At Johns Hopkins I plan on loosing myself in my volunteer work because I will dedicate as much time as I can to help these people. I will not limit myself to only the hospital but try to help at soup kitchens, nursing homes, can drives, and any charities that I can offer my assistance to. Johns Hopkins is going to be my new home hopefully and I will do anything to make the community there better for everyone.

Undergraduate / University of Chicago- Favorite book and author-Moby-Dick [4]

Optional: Question 2. Share with us a few of your favorite books, poems, authors, films, plays, pieces of music, musicians, performers, paintings, artists, blogs, magazines, or newspapers? Feel free to touch on one, some, or all of the categories listed, or add a category of your own.

Please give me suggestions on how to make it better and whether you think it is to much. Thank you for your help

"Call me Ishmael" begins one of the greatest American novels ever written, and coincidentally my favorite book, Moby-Dick. Moby-Dick the magnum opus of Herman Melville has a great story, great characters, and raises questions that have been asked all throughout our existence. Moby-Dick has memorable characters like Queequeg, Ishmael, Starbuck, Flask, Stubb, and of course Ahab the madman who brings them all together. These characters are all different and the crew of the Pequod is very diverse. The Pequod crew had crewmates from the United States, China, Ireland, South America, and the Pacific islands. They believed in different gods and have different ideals and these differences caused tension among the crew. The crew had little squabbles between the civilized and uncivilized members but was quickly done after the two sides saw that they were both human and that in order to survive they must come together. This acceptance of others shown in Moby-Dick is something that in 1851 is unheard of in America a nation who at the time was split over the expansion of slavery. This book shows a modern way of thinking and for a book of this time period to do this is simply amazing and highlights the characteristics that set it apart from others and make it my favorite book. Moby-Dick is my favorite book because it intrigues me. The soliloquies and asides incorporated into the book are superb. Ahab in his soliloquies raises questions that mankind has wondered since our beginning. He wonders about god, fate, and Moby-Dick his obsession. Ahab's obsession with Moby-Dick is something that I believe ever human being has. We are not all obsessed with killing a whale who we believe to be the essence of evil as Ahab is but we are obsessed. Whether it is with money, fame, power, or anything else that comes to mind, human beings have always dreamed and many have become obsessed and I am not exception. My obsession is a simple one, to become a neurosurgeon that has the ability to save someone's family member as mine was. As Ahab has given up everything even his life, I have given up everything so that I can achieve my dream. This personal connection I have made with Ahab is something that made Moby-Dick even better. Moby-Dick is phenomenal and undoubtedly my favorite book.

Undergraduate / My experience at the hospital - Short common app [4]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

Please help me with this. The main thing i need answered with this essay is whether it answers the promp or not and any other suggestions would be helpful. Please tell me if it answers the prompt its the thing that worries me about this. Thank you so much and if you need me to look at any of your work just ask.

"Come on Juliano, hurry," I hear Jessica a nurse from my unit, yell. I look around thinking there most be another Juliano but it is only me. She is signaling me to hold the patient down. He is having convulsions and she cannot keep him still and treat him at the same time. I rush over and hold him gently because he is an elderly gentleman and I am scared of hurting him. I see the nurse reach for something but then my attention is drawn back to the patient who continues to move. All of a sudden he stops, he seems more relaxed and so I relax too. The nurse and I exchange looks and smile. I then look at the time and see my day is over. She says as I walk out "Hope enjoyed you first day of volunteering at the hospital, see you next week."

Undergraduate / "the most rigorous curriculums in the nation" Uni Chicago-Why I would love to attend [6]

Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago.

Please give me suggestions on how to make it better and whether i answered the questions thoroughly enough. Thank you for the help.

The University of Chicago is a university that is all its own. It is a school that stands out from others. From the people who attend this institution to the very application I am completing for admission, appropriately named the "Uncommon Application," everything is unique about University of Chicago. This is a university whose courses are so rigorous that its students sometimes joke that the "Ivies" cannot compare and they are right. University of Chicago offers one of the most rigorous curriculums in the entire nation. This is something that some may see as a negative because of the challenge it provides but I see it as a huge opportunity. These rigorous courses will allow me to receive one of the finest educations available and I am ready to meet the challenge head on. The college has a great core curriculum with an impressive number of majors and the courses available are very difficult. These classes are taught by world-class teachers who are the leaders in their field of study and to be able to study under them would be incredible. University of Chicago also has great programs for biochemistry and neuroscience which is what I would major in.

The University of Chicago also has a something that is really important to me: a rich, diverse, vibrant community that brings people from all walks of life and all over the world together. The University of Chicago would allow me to become part of a community that accepts all and where I would be a perfect fit. I would be able to develop relationships with people from China, India, Africa, and South America. At the same time, I would be in a city renowned for its diversity and great atmosphere. The University of Chicago provides the ideal community for me. The University of Chicago also satisfies my desire for a particular future because it allows me to study under some of the greatest minds for pre-med and neuroscience. The university has had a vey successful alumni group with 10 percent of all Nobel Prize winners having attended The University of Chicago. The records speak for themselves and show that people who attend and graduate from this University become people who contribute to the world and have successful futures. I would be honored to attend and become another success story.

Undergraduate / Anchor to a world that seems far away-Common Application Essay [2]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
Please write any suggestions you have. I am not a good writer in the sense that my grammar is terrible so look out for that especially. All suggestions are welcomed and be as critical as you can, it wont hurt my feeling, only help me. Sorry this essay is long. Thank you for your help.

In life many influences help to shape us but few are so great that they completely change the course of our life. Some have teachers, others celebrities, sports icons, or great thinkers, but for me it is my father, Ndue Ndoj. My father is the father you envision when you think of a 1960s sitcom. He is loving, caring, and always there for his family but he has a certain foreign flavor to him that most parents lack. He is a man who demands discipline, respect, but would give anything for his children. He has been the anchor in my life that has kept me sane in this place we call our world. He has been the source of strength and determination that characterize me and he is the reason I have become the person I am today.

My father, through his words has tried to make me an honest, respectable, and hard working man in a world where, unfortunately, there are few. As a small boy, I did not realize the cruel realities of the world and the true nature of man; my father opened my eyes. At the age of 4, my young mind received a shock that I would remember to this very day sometimes even dreaming of the horrors that I witnessed. In 1997, Albania erupted into rebellion, which turned into full blown anarchy and the world around me seemed to crumble and become something so chaotic and awful that it seemed to be hell on earth. My world was gone; everything I knew was destroyed. Morals, ethics, humanity, kindness, kinship all thrown by the wayside. Everyone seemed to let loose and , in those days, what I saw of the true nature of man terrified me. My father, however never changed; he never bowed to the madness; he never let it engulf him; and so he became my anchor in a world that seemed so far away. He protected me from turning savage like many of my neighbors and so called friends. During this time, my father shielded me physically and emotionally from the world. He taught me to become a man who has priorities, morals, and who values both law and order. He spoke to me about things such as virtue, respect, and manners, and he made sure that I learned them. He instilled in me a love for learning by buying me books to read and teaching me math and how to write. As a boy of almost five, I became a mini figure of my father. I loved him, respected him, and cherished his presence and the things he taught me.

After the rebellion was quashed and things returned to normal, my father knew we had to leave and so he entered the "lottery competition." The lottery winner would be presented an opportunity to come to the greatest country on earth, America. He entered thinking it was a scam but hoped it wouldn't be and in three months time we received a letter stating we had won. My father without hesitation accepted, the offer and had already begun to plan our departure but I saw in him a sadness that I had not seen before. I realized it was because he was giving up everything. He was leaving his entire life, family, the only home he knew, and the job he had always dreamed of so that his children could be safe and have the best life the world had to offer. This fact weighed heavy on me then and now. It has become my drive for school, for my dream, and is something I always remember when I want to quit. After some time, we came to America and my family entered a world that was foreign to us. The second day we were in America, my father went to work with his friend at a tile company. He worked for 12 sometimes 14 hours a day to support us. He seemed to never sleep and was constantly holding his back but never complained. He never gave up and his sacrifices changed my life. He gave me the opportunity of a lifetime and in exchange he gave up everything. My father to this day gives up everything he has to try and give me the opportunities to become all I can be.

My father sometimes jokes around saying that the dreadful communist system did not hurt him and neither will the capitalist system, but I see that he is tired. He is a man who has given up everything for me, my brother, and my new little sister and there is no way we can truly repay him. His influence is something that can never be replaced. He has molded me into the man I am today teaching me a love for learning, virtues, the importance of family, determination, and what sacrifice really means.

Undergraduate / "My father and his words" - influential person [3]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Please make any corrections or suggestions that you can. Im sorry it is really long but i was really passionate about this topic and I hope it shows. Any feedback is appriciated.

In life many influences help to shape us but few are so great that they completely change us as human beings and the course of our life. Some have teachers, others celebrities, sports icons, or great thinkers but for me it is my father, Ndue Ndoj. My father is the father you envision when you think of a 1960s sitcom. He is loving, caring, and always there for his family but he has a certain foreign flavor to him that most parents lack. He is a man who demands discipline, respect, but would give anything for his children. He has been the anchor in my life that has kept me sane in this place we call our world. He has been the source of strength and determination that characterize me and he is the reason why I have become the person I am today.

My father through his words has tried to make me an honest, respectable, and hard working man in a world where unfortunately there are few. As a small boy, I was a naïve boy that did not realize the cruel realities of the world and the true nature of man but my father opened my eyes. In 1997, at the age of 4, my young mind received a shock that I would remember to this very day sometimes even dreaming of the horrors that I witnessed. 1997, Albania erupted into rebellion, which turned into full blown anarchy and the world around me seemed to crumble all around me and become something so chaotic and awful that it seemed to be hell on earth. My world was gone everything I knew was destroyed. Morals, ethics, humanity, kindness, kinship all thrown by the wayside, everyone seemed to let loose and in those days I saw the true nature of man and it terrified me. My father though never changed, he never bowed to the madness, he never let it engulf him and so he became my anchor in to a world that seemed so far away. He protected me from turning into a savage like many of my neighbors and so called friends did. During this time my father shielded me physically and emotionally from the world. He taught me to become a man who has priorities, morals, and who values both law and order. He spoke to me about things such as virtue, respect, and manners and he made sure that I learned them. He instilled in me a love for learning by buying me books to read and teaching me math and how to write. As a boy of four almost five I became almost a mini figure of my father. I loved him, respected him, and cherished his presence and the things he taught me.

After the rebellion was squashed and things turned to normal my father knew we had to leave and so he entered into the "lottery competition." If you won the lottery, you would be presented an opportunity to come to the greatest country on earth, America. He entered thinking it was a scam but hoped it wouldn't be and in three months time we received a letter stating we had won. My father without hesitation accepted the offer and had already begun to plan out departure. I saw in him though a sadness that I had not seen before. I realized it was because he was giving up everything. He was leaving his entire life, family, the only home he knew, and the job he had always dreamed of so that his children could be safe and have the best life the world had to offer. This fact weighed heavy on me then and now, it has become my drive for school, for my dream, and is something I always remember when I want to quit. After some time we came to America and my family was in a world that was foreign to us. My father the second day we were in America went to work with his friend at a tile company. He worked for over 12 sometimes 14 hours a day so that we could be provided for. He seemed to never sleep and was constantly holding his back but never complained. He never gave in and his sacrifices changed my life. He gave me the opportunity of a life time and in exchange he gave up everything. My father still to this day gives up everything he is to try and give me the opportunities to become all I can be.

My father sometimes jokes around saying that the dreadful communist system did not get him and neither will the capitalist system but I see that he is tired. He is a man who has given up everything for me, my brother, and my new little sister and there is no way we can truly repay him but we will try to by fulfilling the only wish he has ever had and that was for us to realize our dreams and become something. His influence is something that can never be replaced. He has formed me into the man I am today teaching me a love for learning, virtues, the importance of family, determination, and what sacrifice really means. I now say to my father your job is done. You have given me everything I need now its time I finally repaid my debt to you.

Undergraduate / If we had the power to dissolve anything? - University of Chicago supplement [4]

Essay Option 3. Salt, governments, beliefs, and celebrity couples are a few examples of things that can be dissolved. You've just been granted the power to dissolve anything: physical, metaphorical, abstract, concrete...you name it. What do you dissolve, and what solvent do you use?

Inspired by Greg Gabrellas, A.B. 2009
Please give me any ideas. Sorry if my grammar is bad, it is the one thing about english i struggle the most with with. So sorry in advance.

Human beings have been plagued by a disease since our beginings. It is shown in our biblical stories, history books, and other literary works. It has caused death, despair, and chaos to encapsulate our world. It has been in our hearts and has led us as a species to commit heinous acts against one another. This disease is the hate that we have towards our fellow human beings. If I could dissolve anything in the world I would dissolve the hate in our hearts towards our fellow man. Hate has caused and causes to this day problems in our world that have deep and lasting impact. It is the reason tension and war exist in the Middle East today and the motivation behind terrorists and their attacks. It is this hate that is causing violence between the Israelis and Palestinians in Isreal. Hate caused tragedies like the Holocaust and the genocides in Kosovo and Bosnia. It causes people to loose family members and some their lives. It is a part of our lives that we are both ashamed of and desperately want gone. It is a force that blinds all humans from reality and destroys all morality. It has been in us since the dawn of man beginning with Cain and Able. The ability to dissolve hate would be a miracle and would help to create the world peace and utopia we have always dreamed of.

I realize that dissolving hate is very idealistic and my solvent is even less pragmatic. The solvent I would use to dissolve hate isn't anything magical in fact it has been thought of before by cheesy kid cartoon shows such as Yu-Gi-Oh and others. The solvent is simply an understanding of one another which can only be achieved by an educated public especially our youth. Hate is caused by the misunderstanding of other cultures and people. It is a result of our inability or desire to see life through others eyes. If people begin to enlighten themselves about different cultures we will see that we should not condemn difference in beliefs, race, or ideas but celebrate them for America in its essence is this and it is one of the most prosperous places on the planet. If people can comprehend this then the hate that has plagued us for so long can be eradicated. Understanding can only be achieved through an educated public because contrary to belief ignorance is not bliss. Only through an educated public can we eliminate the animosity we have against each other. Understanding can eliminate the disease from our minds, hearts, and bodies and hopefully put an end to the atrocities committed because of it. If we do not end hate we will be forced to repeat our painful history.

Undergraduate / "neuroscience program interests me the most" - Johns Hopkins supplement [3]

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

Please help me with this essay. I believe it is ready to be sent out but i want others opinions. Any help would be appriciated.

Johns Hopkins offers a wide variety of majors to students but its neuroscience program interests me the most. Neuroscience is something that has always interested me. There is something about how the brain functions that seems so spectacular to me. The brain controls everything we do, think, and feel and studying about how this happens is extremely intriguing. My interest in neuroscience began as a result of my grandmother who had a brain tumor. My grandmother's chances for survival were very low but because of Mentor Petrela, a well known neurosurgeon in Albania, she survived. Ever since that day I decided to become a neurosurgeon so that one day I could help someone's mother, father, or, as in my case, grandmother. I want to be able to give someone else the joy of knowing that their loved one will survive and I believe by attending Johns Hopkins I can do this. Johns Hopkins neuroscience program would give me the perfect opportunity to do this because it is one of the best in the nation and the nearby hospital would provide me with one of the best experiences for neuroscience. I would be able to see surgeries, talk to doctors, and my professors would be some of the greatest minds in the world in the field of neuroscience.

Undergraduate / Advanced Placement United States History, Academic Experience Harvard Supplement [7]

An academic experience (course, project, paper, or research topic) that has meant the most to you.
Please give me any suggestions you can.

When people hear the words United States History class, many think of a boring class where the teacher recites dates and tells about events which seem unimportant and boring at the time. For me however, Advanced Placement United States History was one of the most joyous times of my education. It was a class that I honestly looked forward to every day because of the love I had for the history of this great country even though it is not my birthplace. This class fascinated me. I learned things that happened 300, 200, or 100 years ago and saw that they were still relevant and were still affecting me. This class taught me about the teachings of John Locke, Charles-Louis de Secondat, Baron de La Brède et de Montesquieu, and René Descartes. By reading their books, I learned about the origins of the Constitution and the real meaning of freedom and how it is achieved. This class changed my view of freedom and of government itself. It has served me well because I am no longer one of the masses who does not know the origins of their freedom and the bloodshed that it takes to protect it. Now, because of this course, I do not take freedom for granted but instead value it because as Ronald Reagan said, "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction." This class and the friendships I have made in it will always stay with me. We bonded through our struggles with the homework, exams, and the dreaded DBQs of one of the hardest classes in the school. I will never forget this class or the experiences I had in it.