Writing Feedback / Students Should not be in Control of their own Education. [5]

"Should students be in control of their own education?". Based on my ten years teaching experiences, I completely disagree with this statement. There are always the great educations for students who desire to get more advice from their teacher. I believe that students cannot be in control of their own education without help, and it is due to the lack of insight, experiences, and knowledge.

To begin with, students are too immature to decide for their education. For instance, students in grade eleven who amuse with fancy world like fashion competition or girl friends and boys friend, are not be able to take the right decision for their future. They couldn't think properly to take advantage of their studying time if their teacher wouldn't help them.

Moreover, students don't have enough knowledge to get the decision for their study's plan. On the other hand, their teacher, who gained vast knowledge through many years studying and learning in universities or college, can inform them in which field is more suitable. For example, I as a science teacher may use my knowledge to find other information which seems easier to understand and help my students to solve their problems. Thus, students who struggle to find their answer during their study time; benefit from their professional teachers.

In addition, it is obvious that none of the students can find their way to be successful without experience. For example, I as a teacher may use my experience to recognize my students' talent, so I can help them find their field to success. Students are young without any experience and incapable to find the best for their lives, so they certainly need to be informed by their instructors or teachers who have lots of background.

Finally, I think that students should not be in control of their own education because they don't have enough knowledge and good experience. Teachers or instructors can help them get through difficulty study time with their enormous information and background.

Hi; would you please mark my essay which is suppose to be like a Tofel essay.
thankyou

Writing Feedback / A decision should be popular with others [3]

People desire to make a good decision for their lives, but there are always many challenges that require another look to their situation. They need to find other ways to take the best decision which could be offered by their friends or other people who have experience. I do believe that making a decision would be much easier if others accept it. When a decision is popular with others, it provides more acceptance, satisfaction, and better result for someone who has to make it.

To begin with, everybody is willing to make a decision which accompanies with most acceptances. People feel better when others agree with their decision, and they assure that they can get through difficulty by taking advantages of other experience. If a decision is acceptable like a popular decision, surely it will bring more success.

Moreover, feeling more satisfaction for a new decision requires it being more popular. Everybody may feel happy while finding her or his decision is similar to other people's idea. For instance, when I had to choose between two various study fields, Biology or Med lab; I took my father's advice to be preferred with Biology. I was so satisfied with my decision, because I believed that my father knew better than me.

In addition, people always looking for the best result while making a new decision, and it mostly happen when it doesn't seem odd to others. For example, in a work place, any new idea about some projects could be difficult to prove, so employee need more support for his or her decision and it just possible if others show their agreements.

Finally, although making a decision is usually based on own belief, it is necessary for everybody to have other idea about his or her decision. It contributes to obtain the best result and more satisfaction which leads to a good progress.

Writing Feedback / Advantages: Teachers should encourage their students to question everything. [4]

I remember those days in high school where I taught biology, all my students never missed even one session through whole semester because they found my class different from others. My class was different since I made my students to ask everything that they needed to know, so they were so excited to be in my class. I do believe that it is necessary for teachers to encourage students to question in order to achieve more knowledge, constantly participation in class, and have more fun.

First, most students need to gain more knowledge and information in their class by asking their teachers about many subjects. If teachers try to encourage their students to question, they help students improve their knowledge. For example, my sister Math teacher, who is like strict teacher, never allow them to ask more question, so my sister has to face many struggle to solve the problems without her teacher's help.

Second, teachers may contribute to increase their students 'participation in class if they are interested in the students' questions. We always see many students who get detention because of their unexcused absents. They don't want to take their class which is always the same, so they need to be active by asking various question which turns in their enthusiasm to continue their education.

Third, students enjoy their time in class if they have a chance to ask whatever that matters for them. They want have more fun, and if their teacher doesn't allow them to feel free to ask, they couldn't feel happy. It is true that teacher should understand that having fun in class is always part of education; therefore, they have to let their students ask what they need.

Finally, it is a fact that students wants to obtain more knowledge, and enjoy their time through their participation in the class which can be provided by their teachers. Teachers should encourage their students to ask their question to take all those advantages that are mentioned.

Writing Feedback / Television has had a mostly negative effect on society. [5]

Television shows are the most popular program that can amuse people who are interested in watching them. Nowadays, people especially children are depended on TV to spend their time, and they would rather to fill up their schedule by sitting in front of TV and watching it. However, watching TV brings mostly negative effects such as threat to the maintenance of traditional family values, children's future, and people's behavior.

Nowadays, television threats to the maintenance of traditional family values. Parents spend less time with their children now, and they are too busy to be with their children. However, TV can be the third parent for children, and children are willing to spend the rest of their daily time to watch it instead of being with their parents. However, there were different relationship between parents and children before the TV invention, which was stronger and more connectable. Unfortunately, old values will slowly slip away and new ones, established by TV, will take their place.

Watching TV provides many disadvantages for our children's future and their health. While watching TV, children have less play time and also physical activities in open space with their friends, so they won't be able to have a healthy life. Besides, another issue related to watching TV, is a developmental disorder in the part of brain which is for language skill; therefore, children can't pay attention effectively; have concentration.

TV has brought many changes in people's behavior, and their response to others. Most of TV shows contains of many various advertisements that could affect on people and mainly on their children. People especially children may have early exposure to wild variety of things such as super hero shows like superman and all things that are related to him and his story, so children try to act like Superman whether it is a good behavior or not. Therefore, media such as TV impacts deeply on children mind, and their virtual view of their life.

Finally, although television has had many negative effects on our life, it can be a good tool for learning or discovering new subjects. Sometimes, children use it as a resource to increase their knowledge and information, but not spending too much time only on watching it .As a result, people should consider all consequences of watching TV, and other negative circumstances like losing traditional family values or children's future.

Writing Feedback / Which environment is better for children to grow up? Countryside or City? [8]

Parents always consider about their children's success, and the environment in which a child grows plays a large role in this process. Some people think growing up in a countryside can bring out many advantages such as growing up healthy, or promoting good manner in children; however, others believe that living in a big city contributes to the better education and more facilities to live. I do believe that growing up children in a big city helps them to achieve more qualification for the better job, and receiving higher facilities for their lives.

First, obviously children who are living in a big city find the better education than those do in countryside. There are many different universities or colleges with various study fields which provide students a chance to choose their favorite subjects. This opportunity provides a good qualification for a better job. On the other hand, in countryside there are few institutions in which prepare some common fields to study, so those who dwelling in the countryside are often confronted with limited education prosperity. This limitation turns to be unqualified for a suitable job.

Second, the infrastructure in a big city is much better than in countryside, so the life in there is more convenient than it does in rural. People have more facilities in urban than they do in villages. For instance, roads, subway, power supplies, and other facilities like advanced Medical access help people's life seem more comfortable and convenient. However, in a rural, people who never find such facilities, have to travel to urban to obtain their necessities like some Medical procedure. Although growing up in a rural may face to many obstacles, they benefit clean fresh air, and beautiful view which lead to a healthy life. In countryside, people feel safer because they see their environment as almost a crime free area compare to the environment in a big city.

Even though in a country side people find a peaceful environment for their children to growing up healthy, they rarely access to highly qualify academic institution to educate their children for a better life with more facilities. I think people should be considered about all factors that impact on their children's progress through living in a big city. They can find all important aspects that they need for their children and also should be caution by its disadvantages.

Writing Feedback / People with different interests and personalities cannot be friends. [NEW]

It seems much easier if people find their friends or partner with the same interests and characteristic in the way they have. They can feel better when others agree with them, and there is no need to argue to defend their opinion. However, I believe that if people choose their companion with different personality, they may be more successes. People can learn different experiences which help them throughout their life.

First, people find various experiences when they have friends with different idea. For instance, I always decide immediately when I think about something. On the other hand, my friend never decides without a deep thought. Thus, I realize that being more patient and taking time to get a good decision as my friend do; is really worth.

Second, everybody can be expert in another area if he or she finds another view. People usually do their work as they used to do and it is not easy to change it. They may see better result if they touch other ways. For example, my partner can read any articles so fast because he pays attention only on comprehension and try to use reading skills.Thus, I tried to change my study habits based on this new experience and now I'm a good reader.

Third, people can improve their personality while they come up with new idea. For instance, some people don't believe in healthy diet and if they have a chance to meet someone with contrast idea, so they might get influence to live better. Before meeting my friend, Angela, I was kind of junk food person, but she encourages me to be interested in nutrition meal.

As a result, people should show their enthusiasm to have friends who are different. This selection helps people gain more experience and improvement. Besides, people could be master in their work if they welcome unlikely view by their new friends.

Writing Feedback / Pets are part of family? Yes ; IELTS [5]

People mostly have a pet at home, and it is one of their most desires. They are looking to raise their pets as their children and keep them safe as much as they can. I believe that pet should be treated as a family member because pets bring many benefits for people who love them. Pets bring many happiness and fun to the family, help disable people do their work, and teach the children the sense of responsibility.

First, people always feel happy and excited while they are playing with their pets. For instance, after a long work day, people need to get rest; and there is no funnier thing than playing with a dog. Children play with their pets like their dogs and get busy which is so please for their parents.

Besides, pets help disable people do their work. There are many trained dogs that help blind people to get their direction or other needs. For example, my friend has problem with her vision and cannot to go outside without any accompany. She's got her new pet, a brilliant dog that helps her through daily life.

Moreover, pets have effective impact on the children's response to their parents or their sibling. Having a pet at home contributes children to learn the sense of responsibility. Children know how to care of their sibling because they are good caregiver for their pets.

All in all, any family can find many beneficial related to having pets at home. They care about their pets like their family members, so they feel happy and never lonely. In addition, life would be easier for people with disability if they find their favorite trained pets.

Writing Feedback / computer made life more complex and stressful . [4]

Is not "technology" a little bit addicting? Unfortunately, we can see some kind of addiction in our daily life by using computer as a new technology. Computers have changed our life since they have been invented, so we completely depend on them to do our work or any other needs. Since computers have been used as one of the most important things in our life, we may feel more stressful and uncomforted. In our society, computers have made our life more complex and stressful because they make us depend on them, affect on children negatively, and change our relationship.

Now, we are so dependent on computer that is hard to imagine what things would be like today without them. For example, people can do their banking such as paying their bills or mortgage from their house with their computer otherwise they may go to the bank and ask bank teller to do it only in few seconds by bank's computer systems. However, sometimes freezing all computer system in such places like banks or offices in a big company could be disaster for people who are involved.

New technology such as computer affects on our children negatively, so we can see different trait from our children and their connection with computer. Most our students start living in a virtual reality by playing computer games and spend the most of their time in front of computer instead of improving their social skills through playing with other kids. For instance, my children always prefer playing computer game in their own room instead of playing basketball or other exercises in a public place. Thus, they probably never show a good manner in a group because they never tried before.

Nowadays, our relationship with others has changed since we accessed to computers. People were more connected with each other by chatting or visiting in a place and enjoy time together; however, now they would rather send an e-mail or text to their friends without any face-to -face connection. Therefore, in new century with new technology like computer, people feel too busy to go somewhere only to visit a friend.

Although there are many advantages in our life through using computers, we should be suspicious of the benefits that computers have brought to us. We also should be concerned about all games and other computer programs in which our children are interested; moreover, we need to connect with others properly.

Writing Feedback / It is More Important to Work at a Job that You Enjoy than it's to Earn a Lot of Money [4]

Hi every body please see my essay and tell me how it works for tofle test like an esssay with higher score.thanks
Most people enjoy their high salary and it makes them feel satisfied of being affordable for all their living cost. Because of this feeling, they work hard even they don't have enjoyment. However, life is too small and too valuable to be wasted like this to earn more and more money. Some people desire to work at a job that makes them feel enjoyment to have their interest job, more free time, and good environment at work.

First, people prefer working at a favorite job that they enjoy rather than earning a lot of money. If they love their job and find it interesting, they absolutely feel happy and successful. For example, while teaching in school; I really enjoy my job even though I earn less money. I feel more energy and great passion when I teach, so it helps me get high level of performance that aims to have more enjoyment.

Second, people enjoy more at a job that provides more free time for them. They are eager to do their job because they find more free time during work hours and feel free to do their personal things which save their time for their family. If somebody has a high responsibility in his or her job position, he or she doesn't feel free in any time; though, he or she earns a lot of money. Moreover, nobody does have time to enjoy this money earned since there is no time to sit and play with his or her children.

Third, if somebody finds a good environment at his work, he would enjoy more than earning more money. It is really important to have friendly co-workers at work to spent pleasant time and do their job together peacefully. Work hours would be at least eight hours in a day, so lack of a pleasant environment is a real matter for anyone who wants to enjoy through a work day. As a result, people who seek to enjoy more at their work than earn money; find their pleasant environment at their job.

As sum up, money is essential for the survival but should not become our obsession. It is a fact that enjoying at work, is more important than earning more money, and it is caused by more having free time and good environment during a favorite job.

Writing Feedback / Learning foreign language in your own country or in the country which it is spoke [2]

When my family and I came to Canada, we realized that our English was enough to start in new country. We had started learning English as beginners in back home and then continued to obtain advanced learners in Canada. We coped with many varies obstacles through our new life because we could communicate with others which was so important to get by. Learning foreign language in own country contributes to lower financial issues, easier way to learn, and more family support.

First but the most, students who studying foreign language in their own country can save more money compare of those students in foreign country. They don't have to pay for their accommodation or food or air fly to visit their family in their home. On the other hand, learners in foreign country have to pay for everything in new place like their rental room, food, collage burdens or bus tickets.

Secondly, learning in own country seems easier than learning in foreign country. Students understand new lessons by translating in their own vocabulary with their native teacher who has experienced with the same challenges through this learning process. For instance, I remembered those studying time in back home when our teacher tried to find a proper way to get us to understand new grammar or vocabulary. She showed us similar structure in our own language to find the meanings,so we could learn it .

Thirdly, most international students in abroad who have many miserable loneness memories, feel lack of family support during living in foreign country. There are many holidays' times that they can't afford to buy a ticket to get home and visit their families and friends. However, native students could be with their relatives and enjoy their time together. Learners who are foreign in a new country have to cope with all challenges and difficulties by their own and there wouldn't be any support for them.

Finally, there are many beneficial for students who study in their own country as their first step and then it would be great idea if they continue their learning process to be like advanced learners in the country which the language is spoken. They don't need to cope with many difficulties such as financial problems or solitude.

PLEASE SEE MY ESSAY AS A TOEFL ESSAY AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT IS.
THANKYOU
BAHAREH