Undergraduate / 'the Grand Prix at Prospect Park' - extracurricular activity [4]

Prompt: write about an extracurricular activity that has been especially meaningful to you (Eg. b/c of personal growth, ability to assume responsibility)
Please edit and help expand

Before the start of the Grand Prix at Prospect Park, my coach asked me, "what's your goal for this race?"
"To get another medal." I replied.

At 4:30, a hundred and fifty runners held their breath and awaited the pistol. With a bang, the silence broke and the I leaped forward. Suddenly, someone behind ran into me and the back of my spike came off. I stopped running and bent down. Using my right hand, I pulled the back of my spike. But because of the tightness of my spike, my right hand failed to pull it back on. Seeing the horde of runners disappearing from my horizon, adrenaline gushed through my blood and sent my heart rumbling. "It is impossible for me to get a medal now." I mumbled under my rapid breath. Finally, using both hands, I pulled my spike the back of my spike back on. To catch up to the major horde of runners, I sprinted for over fifteen seconds.

By the time I caught back up, my legs and arms were feeling heavy and tight. "You can't slow down" I said to myself.

At the end of the first third of the course, an official standing in the grass field shouted out that I was twenty-fifth. "All right, just pass ten more people and you will get your medal." I told myself. Using the hills as my advantage, I accelerated up the hill and ran down without holding back. One by one, by the second half of the course, I was twentieth. "Just five more people" I told myself again.

At the moment, I could see four runners about two hundred meters ahead of me. Locking my eye on their back, I took deeper breaths and steadily increased my speed. Gradually, I caught up to the four runners who were running in packs. Noticing that I had just outran them, they sped up, trying to regain their position. Though I was struggled to suck air through my prickling throat, I ran faster in order to raze their moral.

After leaving those four runners before me. Slowly, I caught up to the 15th runner. However, we were in a stalemate; whenever I tried to pass him, he sprinted. A few minutes later, we were at the turn of a tree. There, I heard people yelling and cheering for him. "Don't let him pass you! William" One of them screamed.

The thundering cheer made him run faster. To keep up with him, I pretended as if the people were cheering for me.

Only eight hundred-meter left. I could do this! For the first time, I ran pass him. But he was hounding me. After I endured the lead for another four hundred meters, the voice that I had been suppressing revived and told me to give up and submit to pain. No, I am almost there. Just four hundred-meters. If I give up at this point. All my hardwork will be for nothing. While I was wandering in my mind, the sound of the my opponent's breath, the landing of his spike grew louder and louder.

"Ahhhhhhhh" I yelled out. I swung my arms and bit my teeth. The world seemed at suspense and I only found myself. With one thought in mind, I sprinted all the way to the finish line and grabbed the last medal.

While I was putting my hands on their knees and gasping for air. I was proud that I had proved to myself that I can accomplish my goal through small steps and determination. I hold dear to this experience because it will guide me through the future obstacles that lay ahead of my life.

Grammar, Usage / "I regretted knowing the school.." / "Being a pharmacist" - sentence grammatically correct? [5]

"I regretted knowing the school so late in my senior year, but in the meantime I am thankful for my chance knowing about it."

THANK YOU SO MUCH

Undergraduate / 'world-class professors' - Skidmore Supplement [NEW]

In brief, why do you feel that Skidmore is a good match for your academic and personal goals?

Skidmore has long been known for its world-class professors. Going to Skidmore is the best way for me and learn from the best. With its small class size, I am sure I will get the personalized attention I need. By integrating the humanities and social sciences, Skidmore's interdisciplinary approach will not only give me the opportunity to explore the application of different ideas, but also lead me to examine the world through different lenses.

I long go to Skidmore where students also accept and respect the differences. Skidmore is a the cultural melting pot, a school that I feel the sense of home and community.

Skidmore College is committed to creating and supporting a diverse and inclusive community. Please share a personal experience from which you gained a greater understanding of the value of diversity OR describe what you are seeking in a diverse campus community.

In Skidmore's diverse campus, I look forward to immerse myself in a pool of different cultures to learn from others. The world is of myriad differences, By learning how to communicate and connect with people of other cultures, I will be able to access to endless opportunities and become a citizen of the world.

Growing up in rural China, I had witnessed how the much the locals depend on nature to survive and how much hard work they invest into a single crop. But due to global warming and pollution, they don't always harvest what they invest. At Skidmore, I hope to establish an organization to introduce my rural Chinese culture to the different groups and ask them to help protect the environment.

Please share an example of an instance when you feel creative thought really did matter. (Feel free to draw upon history or your on experience.)

It was mid-autumn and I was ten. At the bottom of a hill, my five-year old sister was gazing at the dozen of kites that were sailing in the blue sky.

"I want a kite." My sister grumbled.
"I don't know how to make one." I said to her.
"Ahhhh." Then she started crying. Suddenly, a horde of dragonflies whirled in the air and I was enlightened.
Using a net, I caught a dragonfly and tied a thin string around its tail. Holding the string, my sister ran in circles and her mirth echoed in my ears.

Do I answer the prompt. Please edit my work!!!

Writing Feedback / 'biggest reward in the class was dissection' - favorite class and why [6]

'dissection just fascinates me; anatomy class' - favorite class and why?

What's your favorite class and why?

As the cow's eye was sitting still on the plate, the scapular was firm in my hand. After I trimmed off its fatty tissue, I raised the scapular and poked it into the cornea. But it did not yield easily and so I poked harder. In a flash, the black intraocular fluid gushed out of the wound and splashed onto my face. I wiped off the fluid on my sleeve and resumed my search for the lens.

Even though it may sound repulsive, dissection just fascinates me. When I dissect, I just can't suppress my excitement to explore the logics and intricacies of life.

Even though my Anatomy class involves copious amount of memorization and note taking, it is never boring. Our teacher, Ms. Key, made the class intriguing by linking her stories to the content she was teaching. When we were studying about bones, she told us that it took her tibia more than three years to grow back into its regular shape after she fractured it during a Cross Country race. As I was listening to her fascinating story, I effortlessly learned that bone regeneration is a long and slow process. The interesting facts I can learn in the class seemed innumerable. In the endocrine unit, I was surprised to learn that cold sores never goes away and that it can be spread through kissing on the lips.

At the end of each unit, Ms. Key would list the symptoms of a patient and ask us to diagnose the disease. During such occasions, I would have to piece the clues and relate to what I had learned in order to solve the puzzle. This not only helped me develop my analytical skills, but also provided me the opportunity to apply the knowledge I learned to real-life scenarios.

Undergraduate / 'the contemporary world through different lenses' - Why Columbia [6]

Last winter, I took the 1 train and stopped at 116th Street. Following the crowd of young people, I paced a few steps and arrived at the entrance to Columbia. I froze at there, doubting Columbia's proximity to the subway station and its connection to the city of myriad opportunities.

While I was walking into the campus, I stopped by a young man who is walking in the opposite direction and asked him how to get to the Low Memorial Library.

"Are you visiting the school?" He asked.
"Yes."
"Every building is covered in snow now. I have some time, I will just walk you there." At that instant, I knew Columbia is filled with compassionate people and I wanted to be part of that community.

As I was walking around Columbia, the tour guide introduced the Core Curriculum and I became more obsessed with Columbia. For me, having intellectual discussions with my peers is the most effective way to fortify and extend my understanding of a subject. Yet, in my high school, many of my peers take different classes than me and I often had difficulty finding someone to discuss the subjects I am learning. Whereas at Columbia, students share a strong intellectual connection that they can spark an intellectual discussion with any others in the school. By exposing students to explore topics ranging from archaic literature to music to modern science, the Core will not only give me the opportunity to explore the application of different ideas, but also the knowledge to examine the contemporary world through different lenses.

How can I make the ending stronger.
Any edits?

Grammar, Usage / 'By studying at the school...' - Is this grammatically correct? [6]

By studying at the school, I'll be step closer to my destination.

If not please help!!!