Undergraduate / 'The waves of the Pacific Ocean' - Williams window supplement [5]

Here is my supplement for Williams - please give brutally honest feedback! I had a rough time coming up with a topic for this prompt and finally settled on this (I'm not really sure if I like it) but clearly I don't have much time before it's due. Please help me, and I will return the favor! Thanks! (:

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

My eyes do not deceive me. Outside, the blur of nature morphs into vivid arrays of colors and shapes teeming with life as we roll to a stop, the airplane engine groaning with relief. I remain fixated upon the transparent pane of plastic that draws the boundary between the world and I. However, neurons fire across synapses in the depths of my mind, triggering unsettling emotions I don't fully comprehend. I had been told we were going to Seattle, but now that we had landed I was troubled that I failed to see what was supposedly so apparent to everyone else. Had I become too absorbed in the enchanting facets of nature to notice the obvious? So, my three-year-old self, confused and upset, confronted my parents and exclaimed indignantly, "But I can't see Attle!"

Fourteen years later, I still cherish that childlike innocence and sense of awe at the natural world. Whether I admire leaves browned by the autumn sun as they dance across the street, engaged in an elegant waltz with the wind or sneak sideways glances at the mesmerizing waves of the Pacific Ocean as I drive to work each day, I'm easily lost in the simplistic beauty of nature. My world is colored with vibrant life: the bright orange of the pumpkin fields that distinguish our town, the delicate, electric green tentacles of sunburst anemones in our local tide pools, the brilliant yellow sunflowers lining the highway that greet me on my way to school. Unfortunately, I can become consumed by my daily life, from distributing lunches to the homeless in San Francisco and coaching gymnastics to playing piano and memorizing the rules of derivation and integration. However, if I slow down and look closely, I find joy and tranquility in the minor, yet beautiful details and idiosyncrasies of nature around me, wherever I may be.

Undergraduate / 'trivial personal matters' - Brown Cubism/new perspective Essay [10]

This is a very rough draft and I need as much help/corrections/critiques as possible on it! Please be brutally honest - all comments are welcome. I will return the favor! (:

C. Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.

His name was Michael. Although he was special needs, he created the most beautiful, intricate sculptures in our class. He came every day and sat two stools away from me, wearing his worn, hunter green cargo jacket and working in stoic silence, allowing his art do the speaking for him. He always made boats, colorful and delicate little models fashioned from cardboard or clay. I learned later that he lived on a boat in our local harbor with his father.

One day Michael didn't come to class. I doubt anyone noticed his absence - I'm ashamed to say I didn't either. However, my chest tightened when I saw the silent tears sliding down my teacher's ashen face as he announced that Michael was dead; they had found his body in the ocean early that morning. The news rang in my ears and numbed my mind. However, when I looked around to see other people's reactions, everyone had merely returned to their art, resuming their gossip or checking their iPhones slyly under the table, completely unperturbed. "Michael who?" someone muttered offhandedly. It sickened that one of our peers had died, but because nobody had any real relation to him, they simply didn't care. His death - and his existence for that matter - was insignificant; he was remembered only as "one of the mental kids". Michael's death illuminated the self-absorbed mindset I had been living with, and I was disgusted and ashamed to realize I was one of the many who were content to act as if he didn't exist even when he was alive.

I've learned it's easy to become absorbed in your own life and trivial personal matters; and it's too often that we others for granted. Although he will never know it, Michael has had a profound influence on my life and the moral standards I hope to live up to. His short life highlighted the importance of treating everyone with respect and appreciation; and the exhibits of his exquisite artwork remind me each day to slow down and appreciate the little joys and minor yet beautiful idiosyncrasies of life.

Undergraduate / 'childlike innocence' - Williams looking through a window supplement [2]

So this is just a rough draft of an essay I just wrote for the Williams supplement. I doubt I'll even use it and it is nowhere near finalized, but I want feedback about my idea! I'm really stumped on this prompt and I just needed to write something in order to get my creative juices flowing, so to speak. Anyways, please any critiques are needed! I will return the favor, I promise!

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

The hum of our great metallic bird droned out the sounds of human chatter. The light was fading from the pale, iridescent rose and periwinkle hues of early morning into the husky blues and greys of daytime. The outside world, that blur of the browns and greens of nature flashing by, began to slow and morph into a vivid array of shapes and colors and life. My three-year-old eyes remained fixated on the transparent pane of plastic that drew the boundary between the world and I, even as the internal engine of our plane groaned with relief as we rolled to a stop. I was transfixed by the airport workers in their bright orange vests who systematically transported the luggage, by the birds that glided regally through the air, and by the leaves browned by autumn that danced across the ground, engaged in an elegant waltz with the wind. Suddenly, in the back of my mind, neurons fired across synapses and signals triggered my memory: I abruptly recalled our reason for arriving in this new place, but soon after found myself upset and very unsettled. I opened my mouth and exclaimed to my parents, clearly quite disturbed, "But I don't see Attle!" How could my parents have been so content to offer me with false information?

Fourteen years later, I still cherish that irreplaceable childlike innocence and naiveté I possessed when I sat that day, genuinely dumbfounded because I could not "see Attle," even though my parents had promised we were going to Seattle. The wonders of the natural world never cease to awe me, whether I stare out the window of my AP Calculus classroom at the endless blue of the Pacific ocean, or out the scratched window of my 2000 Honda Accord as I drive by the orange pumpkin farms that are a staple of our town's economy.

Undergraduate / 'networks of neurons' / 'construction of edu' - What interests and Why Brown supplements [11]

Any comments or suggestions or critiques very welcome! I will return the favor (:

Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated? 300 characters

I want to be a part of the journey through the complex networks of neurons that catalyze our actions and engineer our thoughts. I yearn to explore the realms of memory and emotion, to study mutations in the brain, and in future, to integrate my studies into the medical field and utilize my knowledge to help others.

A distinctive feature of the Brown Curriculum is the opportunity to be the "architect of your education."Why does this academic environment appeal to you?

The freedom to construct my education will allow me to embrace a variety of interests that satisfy my insatiable thirst for learning on both intellectual and personal levels. While I could immerse myself in classes on the brain's cognitive functions, I could also enjoy debating Machiavelli's views on humanity or pursue my interests in piano. Brown's curriculum provides the privileges and independence I need to flourish: I could become engrossed in my major, yet still be at liberty to become fluent in French or lost in Aristotle and Sophocles' worlds of philosophy. By handing me the reins of my own education, Brown will motivate me to challenge myself and take responsibility for my future.

Undergraduate / 'I call it being strong-willed' + 'Newton laws' - Tufts [4]

Please give me any corrections or suggestions that you think will help improve my responses! Any feedback is welcome - no matter how bluntly honest or harsh! (:

For the second short response, we asked you to consider the world around you. Now, consider the world within. Taste in music, food, and clothing can make a statement while politics, sports, religion, and ethnicity are often defining attributes. Are you a vegetarian? A poet? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes, Mac or PC? Are you the drummer in an all-girl rock band? Do you tinker? Use the richness of your identity to frame your personal outlook. (200-250 words) 2000 characters available

They say the first six months of life are the most important in shaping your personality. For me, from Day One I've been a fighter. I am one out of hundreds that were abandoned, and my first six months were spent in an orphanage in Guangzhou, China.

Some call it being stubborn; I call it being strong-willed. Whether it's debating the pros of demand-side economics in my AP government class or arguing the ethics of what's "fair" with my parents, I've always readily fought for my beliefs (whether or not they were necessarily right). Even from the beginning, although I lacked many basic gross motor skills as an infant as a result of lying in a crib for six months, I worked hard to grow up to become a successful athlete. After participating in every sport as a kid from dance and swimming to soccer and basketball, I ended up dedicating nine years of my life to competitive gymnastics. Even after a fall landed me with a fractured neck, (this is where the "stubborn" kicks in), I refused to quit. Although I was out of practice for several months, I did physical therapy and fought hard to return to compete one last season - I wanted to end my gymnastics career on a strong, positive note, not with an injury and painful last memories.

Today, I view my adoption as no more than another simple fact about me such as that I have brown eyes and black hair. However, I believe the fight I put up to survive in that orphanage still remains within me today, although it may be manifested many different ways.

Here's the optional essay response:

1. Science, math, and society are filled with postulates, laws, and theories like the Ninth Commandment, PV=nRT, Occam's Razor, and H.R. 3541. Warm air rises. Good (English) grammar requires 'i' before 'e' except after 'c.' So pick a law, any law, and explain its significance to you.

I possess no superpowers (unfortunately), and I don't claim to be any sort of rare creation - I'm only a teenager struggling to find my niche in the world (I don't have time to be in the business of defying the laws of physics). I'm merely human, and Newton's three fundamental laws of motion can account for all my actions in my everyday life.

Newton's first law of inertia (a body in motion remains constant unless acted upon by an outside force) perfectly describes my day from beginning to end. Unless interrupted by the obnoxious blaring of my alarm at 5:55 a.m. each morning, I would never wake up and drag myself out of bed (no less than ten minutes later I might add). Without time as a force limiting the hours in a day I can be active and busy, my life would be an out-of-control whirlwind of activities, from being president of the Interact District 5150 Council and captain of the varsity gymnastics team to organizing school leadership events and working as a gymnastics coach.

Newton's second law states acceleration is directly proportional to the net force applied and inversely proportional to mass. Standing at exactly 5'1" (the average height of an eighth grader, an unfortunately small height for a high school senior), I prove everyday that it's not the size that matters, it is the effort and force you put in that makes the difference. Despite my "petite" stature, I'm the rock, the strong, supportive shoulder to cry on for my friends in need (no matter how big the issue). Although I may be vertically challenged, I work hard to live up to the high standards I hold for myself - whether it's that 5 on my AP tests or hosting a lunch distribution for the homeless in San Francisco.

Newton's third law, every action has an equal and opposite and reaction, has taught me countless life lessons, including the importance of treating others how I would like to be treated and that while many surfaces such as gymnastics mats, grass, and sand look soft - they're not. (Despite the fact that I'm a gymnast, I have an uncoordinated tendency towards clumsiness).

While Newton's rudimentary laws of motion may be universal, they are also specifically applicable to my own lifestyle, and it's how these laws apply to my life that distinguishes me as a unique individual.

Writing Feedback / 'where individuals often exist in their own bubbles' - Brown describe the community [5]

Prompt:

We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and
purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has
shaped you. (1000 characters allowed, including spaces)

My response has 999 characters.

My response is below:

I come from a place called Planet Earth, where individuals often exist in their own bubbles, unaware of events occurring around them. My community's bubble encompasses our humble town, Half Moon Bay, where we lead fairly blissful lives unaffected by larger world issues. Because I've grown up in a secluded place, I've always craved to break free from the confinements of small-town life. Through community service, I've learned to extend my hand to others and break through the "bubbles" that define the lines between which I live. From distributing bag lunches to the homeless in San Francisco to bringing wheelchairs and prosthetic arms to the impoverished in Mazatlan, Mexico, I've had wonderful opportunities to help improve people's lives-it's the least I can do in return for the privileged life I've been given at home. Growing up in a closely-knit community has ingrained within me an appreciation for my own life as well as a desire to reach out and help others who are less fortunate.