Undergraduate / 'my horrid archenemy, Spanish' - Princeton - Voice Essay [2]

I put this together rather quickly so I know it's not anywhere near perfect but please critique in anyway you can. Thanks!

Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"What's comin' will come and we'll meet it when it does." - Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
It was that time of year again. The coffee was brewing, blood pressure and stress levels were rising, and textbooks lay open as far as the eye could see. Yes, final exams were finally here. This was especially bad for someone with test anxiety like myself. I had spent the last week checking and double-checking what I needed on each exam to keep my A's. All was well except for my horrid archenemy, Spanish I. I had barely stayed afloat in that class with a borderline A and anything could shift the balance. Just the thought of it caused my heart to race.

The next few nights were perfectly dreadful. I had trouble sleeping, happiness refused to shine its soft, refreshing rays upon me, and I was on edge. All I could think about was what was going to be on that test. The teacher hadn't given me any relief with the answer "Don't worry about it, you'll know it when you see it" and my mind continued to blank on this year's lesson. There seemed to be no way out. When I would think about and long for the vacation that was to come right after the test, time would move slow, but when I would try to study for the test, the hands would race around the edge of the clock and I wouldn't get enough done. I was trapped. There was so much turbulence in my mind that I couldn't even get much studying done for the actual exam. Worry overtook me.

A couple of days before the test, I laid there in my bed and my mind wandered. I channeled the worry in my head into anger towards my teacher. How was it fair that she didn't tell us anything? Her words "don't worry about it, you'll know it when you see it" played on an infinite loop in my head and I hated her now more than ever. How were those words supposed to make me feel better? And then suddenly... I had it. The answer was clear and I finally understood what she meant. Testing was not what I feared, but instead I was afraid of the mystery that surrounded it. The test was an unknown in my organized world of knowledge. My thought had always been, what can be scarier than something you don't know about? I had never seen it in a different way. However, my teacher was trying to tell me to not worry because it's out of my control. The test would not change if I worried about it or not, so why should I choose the more painful option? The only thing I could change was myself and how I was going to face what was coming. That meant I should be studying instead of worrying. All I could do was prepare vigorously and hope it was enough. With that in mind, I shut my eyes, and for the first time in a week, I was completely relaxed. The thoughts melted away my anxiety and my lost friend sleep finally returned to me.

Even after I awoke, the thoughts stuck with me and I felt great. The next few days were rigorous, filled with odd conjugations and hundreds of vocabulary words, but I pushed through. When the test day finally arrived, I was confident and ready to face my unknown nemesis. I unsheathed my pencil and raised my eraser and slew the beast. I walked out that year with an A in Spanish and a cure for my test anxiety. It never was to be seen again.

Undergraduate / 'a convenience store in a small town' - Princeton - What did you do this summer [4]

Please take a look at my essay! I decided to Princeton very last minute and I was able to put this together. Be harsh

Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

"Thank you, have a nice day!" I said as the nice man with the two little kids left the store. Then as my brother tended to the next customers, I went to my dad who was fixing a display rack. I picked up a hammer and got straight to work. After a few hours of sweat and a little blood caused by a stray nail, it was finally 11 o'clock. Closing time. My dad, my brother, and I did the daily check out and locked up for the night. We headed home, talking about the interesting events of the day during the entire ride. This is what I did for the past two summers.

My dad owns a convenience store in a small town in northern Florida. Before moving to Texas, this was my home. But even after moving to Texas, my family returns every summer. It's a big change going from a bustling and busy city to a small town where almost everybody knows each other. I would be bored to death if it weren't for working at my dad's store. Whenever a regular costumer sees me, they immediately recognize me from before I moved and say how I'm not the tiny kid I used to be and we converse about life. This is what kept life interesting.

Everything seems slower in a small town. The cars seem slower, people seem slower, even time itself seems slower. At first, it's nice to get away from the big city, but soon boredom rears its ugly head. To combat this revolting villain, I resorted to work and my new hobby of programming. I see programming as a new world and it is free for me to mold into any image I please. The specific world I was dealing with last summer was the iPhone. I had never programmed for the device before but I had always wanted to try it. I dreamed to see my name on the "top apps" page of the app market more than anything that summer, so I got to work. Whenever I asked my brother or sister for help, they'd retort a sarcastic answer like "why don't you just ask Steve Jobs?" But their discouragement only fueled my desire to get it done. I learned the entire language, the interface, the syntax, and came up with an idea for a game all on my own and I got it done. I plan to launch my game in March 2012.

Other than working and programming, I just enjoyed the little things in life. I went to the beach and watched as the waves licked the sand. I ran and played basketball whenever I got the chance. And I spent quality time with my family. I may not have had something amazing to say when my teachers asked me "what did you do this summer?" but I definitely had a good time.

Undergraduate / 'my dad continued to pour his information on me' - Common App [4]

I wrote this essay for another college but it had the same prompt. I just had to cut it from 1600 words to much less. Tell me what you think! Be as harsh as you need to. All criticism is welcome! Thank you!

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

I was eight years old. I was listening to the ruckus of the vacuum in the living room when suddenly, I hear a bang and then silence. The vacuum broke and I knew what that meant. I pulled out the tool chest and met my dad at the site of the patient. We both settled and prepared for surgery. All the surgical tools were present, screwdrivers, pliers, etc. With the use of screwdrivers, we split her open and peered at her internal organs: a motor, wires, gears, and belts. Everything seemed complicated to my inexperienced eyes just as it did in all of our projects, but I dove right in with my dad and his years of experience as our guide. I watched and listened as he confidently showed me how the belt attached to the motor and carried on the power chain just as he did in every one of our projects. Just like always, as he talked, things began clearing up for me.

Suddenly, as my dad continued to pour his information on me, I had an epiphany. The vacuum's inner workings reminded me of some of the past projects that we had done together. The mechanism was clear to me now, and I finally understood the problem. I reached into the patient and found what I was looking for. My dad watched as I clicked a hidden belt back onto its gear. As I had finished my tinkering and started explaining my solution, my dad stared at me and smiled proudly. When we had first started doing projects together years ago, I would practically be a spectator and watch as my dad fixed the problem himself, but now, I had found the solution first. Although this was the first time, it would not be the last.

Since I was six years old, my dad and I would work together on "projects." If something broke, the toolbox came out, and a project ensued upon the item in peril. We would tear apart basically anything we could get our hands on without being scolded by my mother. We fixed, tinkered, invented, and just explored whenever we got the chance. We loved seeing how the inventors of whatever we worked succeeded in reaching their objectives. Obviously, we couldn't fix absolutely every project that we came across, but we would always learn something new about the item before reluctantly letting it go. The most important thing these projects did was ignite my love of learning and knowledge, and give me an insatiable curiosity. Just as I would always love seeing how each mechanism we worked on functioned, I now thirsted to see how everything worked. I required understanding. Since those projects, I have always strived to answer the "why" in everything I notice and have taken every opportunity to learn anything I can.

My dad's influence can be seen everywhere. In any situation, I strive to know all the detailed explanations and the answer to "why." Just as my dad and I hated to let go of an unfinished project, I can't let go of something if I don't understand it completely, and I refuse to admit defeat. My dad's teachings have also been etched onto my attitude on life. I believe everything has an answer, all problems a solution, and that nothing is impossible to accomplish. If faced with a problem I can't beat, I use my creativity and ingenuity to overcome. My need for understanding, my inability to admit defeat, and my creativity are the key to my success and all originate in those humble moments with my dad.

Even as I sit here as a young adult, I still love to build things and have "projects" of my own. I learn something new each time; because of my dad, I will continue to learn for as long as I live. Even though he isn't with me in every project, his teachings never leave. His actions shaped me to become the person I am today and motivate me to become even better. All I have accomplished and all that I will ever become is because of my dad.

Undergraduate / 'want to see life worth living' - Stanford What matters to you and why? [4]

Well the deadline is getting dangerously close. Final stretch. Please help me! This was the hardest prompt, but I finally found a response. Tell me what yall think

What matters to you, and why? Character limit: 2000

The clock strikes 4 A.M. I take another warm soothing sip of my chai and start click clacking on my keyboard again to finish an essay for my English class. The headphones in my ears ooze out empowering songs to motivate me. As the hook of the song approaches, I jump out of my seat, sing silently into my pencil and do a little dance. I jump up with the upbeats, groove left and right with the flow of the song, and legitimately believe the pencil in my hand is a real microphone. Its 4 A.M. and there's an important essay due in the morning, a situation that most students dread, but I'm having a great time. I once heard somebody say, "If it's not fun, you're not doing it right." What's important to me? Having fun is important to me. What's the point of life if you don't enjoy living it?

Don't get the wrong idea though. I'm not a party boy who prioritizes fun over everything. I'm actually quite studious and take learning and education very seriously. But from a very early age, my father told me that fun is all about perspective. He'd always say how he had worked very hard for thirty years to where he was today and if he wasn't having fun while doing it, he would have gone crazy a long time ago. That message has always been a key facet in my life. Some people might see an all-nighter to finish an essay as a struggle, but I flip it around. What I think is, I'm going to finish the essay no matter what, so I might as well enjoy it. With that mindset, work transforms from a hated adversary to a welcomed friend.

I already know that there will be many things in life that I won't want to do but it is my job to make them enjoyable. Work is tedious and boring only if you allow it to be. When I'm old and looking back on my life, I don't want to see that I've lived a life of hardship and labor. I want to see life worth living, a life full of happiness and excitement. I want to be able to say exactly what Thomas Edison said, "I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun."

Undergraduate / 'Moving away and going to college' - Stanford Roommate Letter [21]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better. Character limit: 2000

Dear roommate,
I'm excited to meet you! Moving away and going to college is a big change and I hope we can get through it together. Since we are going to be spending a lot of time together, there are some things that you should know about me.

First and foremost, I am a pretty calm and laidback person. So if you have some quirks that you're concerned about, don't worry, everything will be fine. When you first meet me, you'll probably think I'm quiet, but trust me that will disappear very soon. When we get past our initial awkwardness, you'll see very quickly that I like to talk a lot. Technology, politics, current events, I'll talk about anything really! I love debating and discussing different viewpoints. If you want to talk about something, I'm here to listen too. Everybody tells me I'm great at giving advice so don't be shy. I'm also almost an obsessive thinker. At any moment of any day, you can be sure that there is something brewing within my mind whether it be as simple as what I'm eating for dinner or as complicated as the meaning of the existence of the Higgs Boson.

Another thing you should know is that I'm a big sports guy. Football and Basketball are my favorites, but I keep up with all sports. When the big game is on T.V., I might go a little crazy when my team scores, but I'll try to keep the volume down if you want me to. If you aren't a fan, I hope you become one as we spend time together. It would be great to watch games together!

One last thing, I am usually a neat person but when I'm working or deep in thought, cleanliness is the last thing on my mind. Also, I like to take things apart if it's broken or if I'm bored. So don't be alarmed if you come back to the dorm one night and you see that the floor is covered in computer parts or the pieces to what used to be a radio. I actually hope you'll decide to join me!

All in all, I'm pretty easy to get along with and I'm really looking forward to a great year with you! See you then!

Any help will be appreciated! Be as harsh as you need to. All critical criticism is welcome. I'll be glad to help anybody out who asks too